


The Title is the Last Nine Words

by Ericblair



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon Compliant, Canon Disabled Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Disabled OC, F/F, F/M, Major Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Politics, Post-Canon, Queer Themes, Romance, Utopian Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 121,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ericblair/pseuds/Ericblair
Summary: After ending the threat posed by Delta, Clementine begins to adjust to her disability and grow into her role as leader of Castle Violet, protected by her friends. But worries plague her of becoming like Carver, or like Lilly, in the role of leader. While grappling with the ideas of constructing a new society for the children of the apocalypse, she finds herself meeting a variety of new faces and old friends with their own ideas on what their world could be like if they made it so. But rumors swirl of another group of survivors that Clementine hasn't had to face yet. Older, and more evil than any she's seen. They must all together decide what to bring forth from the old world, and what to leave behind.
Relationships: Aasim/Ruby (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clementine/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Louis/OFC
Comments: 26
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

### Chapter 1: The Caravan

  


“It doesn't feel right.” Clementine said, pulling at a piece of rope digging into her hip.

“Give it a chance. You might get used to it.” Willy said with a gap toothed smile.

“I doubt it.” Clementine looked at her faint reflection in the windowpanes of her and AJ's dorm room. Her reflection showed a web of ropes around her hip, shoulder and thigh, ending in a knot tied over the rim of a squat round shaft of wood where her shin would have been.

“How does it feel though, compared to with just the one rope?”

“A little less like I'm going to fall out of it when I take a step, but every time I move, it hurts my whole body.” She ducked her shoulder, “And this one can come loose if I move wrong.” She shifted her weight and grimaced, tugging at the rope around her shoulder.

“And it hurts at the stump just as bad.”

“That should go away when you're fully healed. Uh... I think.” Willy finished lamely. Clementine reached for her crutches and started wrestling with the ropes. “Until then, I'm sticking to these. I get around okay.” She limped along to sit on the edge of her bed.

“Yeah, but how are you going to fight like that?”

Clementine narrowed her eyes, “My days of fighting are over.” her aggressive eyes turned soft, and she smiled, “From now on, I'll be counting on you all to help protect me.”

“I didn't mean that-that we wouldn't. I just meant, uh, you're a total badass.”

“So's AJ. So's Vi. We'll be fine without me falling over trying to fight walkers.”

She unlimbered herself of the prosthetic leg and stood again.

“Speaking of which, I'd better go see if Ruby has spotted them. It's already dark, they should be back.” The two began making their slow way out of the dorms and into the main courtyard. Clementine continued, “Thanks for trying, but we need more game traps, and more equipment for Chopsie first.”

“I'm going to keep working on it. I'm sure there's a book somewhere around here on peg legs. The Headmaster was a nautical fucking guy.” Willy was going slightly faster than was comfortable for Clementine. She thought about telling him firmly to drop it, that she'd already made her mind up about the prosthetic leg, but she decided to say nothing. It was taking her breath just to keep up with Willy's short strides anyway.

  


In the courtyard, Aasim was still striking some of the spiked barricades, rolling them towards the greenhouse. The science room behind the greenhouse was quickly becoming a storage space for their extra weapons, and Clementine predicted she would have to make a decision soon, store their weapons there, or try to use the space for its original purpose. Clementine looked away, though, there was time to worry about that later. Right now, Violet and AJ were past due back.

“Ruby!” Clementine called softly up to the watch tower. The older girl's freckled face appeared with a warm smile.

“Hey Clem, glad you're here, can I show you something?” She said, gesturing with the binoculars past the walls.

Clementine and Willy shared a look. Clementine hadn't tried climbing yet.

“O-or I can describe it. It's no big deal.”

“No. I'd better have a look, and I'm going to have to start taking lookout shifts again soon.”

“Clem...”

She ignored the plaintive tone in Ruby's voice and set her crutches against the base of the watchtower. Balancing on one foot, she held onto the highest rung she could reach of the ladder and hopped up onto the bottom rung.

“See? Not so bad...”

She repeated the act with the second and the third. It was slow going, and she felt ridiculous. Willy and Ruby waited patiently, but she could feel their eyes on her. At the top, she groaned in effort as she hauled herself belly first onto the wooden plank floor, and laid there to rest.

“Uh... Clem? Honey?”

“I'm okay, just give me a sec.” She hoisted herself unsteadily to her knees and held her hand out for the binoculars.

“There, where the trees meet and the road bends, something's riling up the walkers.”

Clementine looked, and found what she was talking about, through the trapped section of woods. Four or five walkers were surrounding a tree, agitated, arms raised and by the look of it, hissing. Another few moments drew another walker, and the commotion was starting to draw in more. Clementine looked upwards, along the tree trunk, and saw what was exciting them. A tabby housecat, curled up and looking angry in the branches.

“They're occupied, but they are making an awful ruckus. So I'm worried, if too many gather, we'll have a right mess on our hands, but if they stay distracted, Vi and AJ might be able to slip in easier.”

Clementine turned it over in her mind. A herd at the gates was a bad thing, but she couldn't justify sending someone out to lead them away. It was too dangerous. She looked down at her missing foot, thinking about what she could have done if she had remained whole and squeezed her eyes shut against the feeling of helplessness. Violet and AJ could be in danger, and she couldn't rush out and act. She took a deep breath and thought. She breathed again.

“We leave it alone. The cat isn't going anywhere, and it's not worth risking anyone. Get me one of the guns though, I want to keep my eye out if things start getting out of control.”

In the days following the incident on the boat, While Clementine had been bedridden following her amputation, AJ and Willy had scouted what remained of the pier. The wreck itself was still crawling with walkers, but the beach was clear. They managed to salvage a few guns with a few bullets remaining. Willy had insisted they recover spent shell casings as well, but Clementine had no idea why.

Willy carried one of the huge rifles with him and handed it to her.

“What do we do now?”

“We wait, and we listen, and we stay quiet.”

  


A half hour later, the crowd of walkers had swelled to almost a dozen, and Clementine worried she had made the wrong decision. It was far past nightfall, and if Violet and AJ weren't back soon she couldn't imagine what she would do. She looked up. The stars were out. She saw the knife constellation. Violet's constellation. She decided that it was a sign, that Violet would be coming back. She knew there was no logic to it, but it loosened her grip on her rifle anyway.

“Hey.” she heard a loud whisper from below that made her almost jump out of her skin. Violet and AJ were at the gates. “You want to let us in, or should we just camp out here?” Violet said sarcastically. Clementine felt a weight lift from her, and she scrambled to the edge of the platform. Climbing down was even harder than climbing, but she made it without falling, barely. She grabbed one crutch and hop-skipped over to the gate to unbar it.

Clementine fell into Violet's arms for a quick hug.

“I didn't see you coming.”

“Yeah, and neither did the walkers.” AJ replied for her. The gate shut with a muffled bang, enough to draw the walkers' attention.

“Oh no, we'd best clear them, or else we'll be overrun.” Violet said. She and AJ shared a look, each drawing their blades and making for the trapped treeline. Clementine shouldered her rifle, knelt awkwardly on her knee and tried to cover them, but watched as the two capable fighters separated the group, drew them out, knocked them down, and finished them, one by one. Several walkers remained entranced by the treed cat, and they managed to isolate them easily enough that she never needed to fire to protect either of them. Clementine felt a little sad, watching them work. All evening she had watched the herd grow. It hadn't made sense to risk anyone's lives to clear the path, but now, these two, alone, were all it took. She slung her rifle as AJ finished the last walker and turned back to the gate.

“Good job you two. Couldn't have done it better myself.” She said Violet's expression fell a little, “Of course you could, don't sell yourself short.”

“It doesn't do me any good to pretend, Vi. I'm going to be depending on you all now, and I'd better start getting used to it.” there was no malice in her voice, just the barest hint of sadness.

AJ looked at the two girls with a mournful, thoughtful look on his face. Clementine knew that look as the one he had when he was learning something new. She hoped it wasn't that she was weak.

“We should get inside. It's Aasim's turn to take watch. I want to hear about the caravan.”

They made their way to the administration building. Clementine looked at the stairs up to the office and sighed.

“Hey, let's talk in the music room.” AJ said. Clementine was grateful for the consideration, and swallowed her resentment of her newfound weakness.

“Yeah, that's a good idea.”

  


  


  


Inside, AJ and Violet told Clementine about the travelers they had spotted. They had come from the far side of the train tracks, down the road she and AJ might have traveled if the train hadn't been in the way. They had a cart with them that they pulled by hand. Without being able to off-road their cart to go around the train station, and with the area still crowded with walkers, they were stuck. Violet and AJ had been cautious, and had approached from a different direction to help keep the location of the school a secret. The people admitted they were on the run, from a community that sounded a lot like Delta, one that had displaced them from their home at a weather station in the mountains to the west beyond the river.

They warmed up a bit once Violet had revealed that they had been attacked as well. After sharing some food with the caravaners, Violet had learned what they were carrying in their cart. Books. They were academics, from the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville before the end of the world. There was a real chance they'd actually part with good stuff in exchange for old textbooks. That gave Clementine pause.

“Maybe we shouldn't trade away our books though.”

“What do you mean? We're not using them. They're not books about survival, they're grade school textbooks.”

“Willy figured out how to blow up that boat in a book. Maybe we should keep them.”

“Hey,” AJ said suddenly. “You have a bunch of copies of the same book. We could give one of those away without missing it. We've got others.”

“Yeah, but plenty of the Headmaster's books don't have any copies, and those are probably going to be the ones these people want the most.”

Clementine looked between the two of them, they looked back expectantly. This was the way she needed to contribute to the group, now that she couldn't fight, or work, as effectively. She needed to make the choices for the group. She thought briefly about Javier, who she had left behind in the community at Richmond, where he was being looked to as a leader as she left. That goon, she thought. He hadn't been the kind of person who could lead a group when she first met him, but he had really risen to the occasion. She just hoped she would do the same.

“AJ, find Ruby, tell her first thing in the morning, she is to catalog the books we have copies of, and pack them up. We're going to give them what we can, without losing anything. They might not have much to give us for that, but maybe we'll work something else out.” AJ stood and strode out, Violet looked mildly annoyed. It was quiet between them for a moment.

“Hey, are we good?” Clementine asked tentatively, it hadn't been often the two had disagreed, and in Clementine's mind, Violet still had more claim to being leader than she did.

“We can talk about it later. Right now let's just be together for a sec.” Violet uncrossed her arms, and half turned toward her, extending a hand to cover hers on the floor. Clementine inched closer, so they were leaning against each other, shoulder to shoulder. They watched the candle flicker in the darkness as they felt each other's presence.

“I was worried about you, when you were late coming back.”

“I know. I wanted to watch the outsiders for a while before... you know. See if they were dangerous.”

“I'm glad you were careful. I feel like.” She swallowed. “I feel like we just got through a storm. We knew it was coming, and we knew we could have died on that boat, but we knew it was coming, and we knew to prepare ourselves for it.” Her voice was breaking now, “But I think in the back of my mind, I thought that once we were on the other side of it, if we got home with everyone, we'd have each other, and time we didn't have that first night, under the stars.”

“You said you wanted us to take it slow.”

“I thought we'd have an hour of taking it slow before we were fighting for our lives.” Clementine said indignantly, Violet chuckled.

“Hey, I meant what I said, I'm going to be here.” Violet shifted a little, maybe a little bashful. “I was afraid when I left today. More afraid than I've been in a long time. I thought about what would happen if these travelers were from Delta, looking for revenge, and if I got grabbed, or killed, that I wouldn't see you again. Maybe that you wouldn't even know I was really gone. I could imagine that because I felt it when you didn't come back.”

“Vi, I made it. I didn't think I was going to, but AJ did it. I,” She swallowed, “I told AJ to leave me behind, leave me to turn. Even though I've told him since forever to kill me if I got bit.”

“Clem? Why?” Violet asked, sounding mystified.

“If he killed me, my last moments were going to be fear. Would it hurt? Would I go somewhere when I died? To Tenn's place where we all get to be people again? I wanted my last moments to be thinking about you. All of you, together in the school, safe.”

“We're going to have to be separated again. We're always going to be in danger sometimes. We have to get used to it.” Violet said sadly, leaning her head against Clementine's shoulder.

“I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it.” Clementine said, wrapping her other arm gently around Violet's neck, pulling her closer.

“Hey Violet?”

“Hmnn.”

“I've been thinking, we've already had a first kiss, but it was in a bit of a hurry. Can we have a redo?”

Violet's entire body shook against Clementine as she laughed silently to herself, “A redo? Is that a thing we can do? Alright, just give me a minute.”

Their embrace went on for a while, both girls silent. Clementine held her head and neck stiff in anticipation, her nerves running hot with the sensation of this person in her arms, not sure what Violet intended, what was going to happen next. Then she felt Violet turn her head, and she instinctively dropped hers and their lips met. So soft, and warm, and her eyes went closed as she was overwhelmed with what was happening. The kiss lasted a few seconds, but Clementine totally lost track of time and self. The room was spinning and suddenly she was gasping for air, holding on to Violet as if she was about to fly off the world and into space.

“Whoa.” was all she could say. Violet began soothing the other girl with soft whispers and rubbing her back. They sat together like that for an amount of time neither could really guess at before Clementine was able to continue, “How are you so calm? That was like I was hit by lightning.”

“That's why I needed a minute. I was preparing myself for it.”

“Smart.”

They sat there a while together, each with their own drifting thoughts, but unbeknownst to either of them, both kept returning to the thought that they wouldn't ever think they hadn't made the most of the time they had together again.

  


  


  


  


  


AJ heard a gentle tapping at his and Clementine's dorm room door. He got up to answer it, expecting Clementine needing help getting the door open in the dark. Instead, he saw Violet, carrying a sleeping Clementine, apparently with some effort.

“Hey.” She whispered, “I don't want to wake her.”

AJ stood aside and let them come in. Violet laid her down on her bed and tucked one strand of hair safely behind her ear before straightening. AJ watched her closely. Violet met his gaze, made a neutral grin and turned to the door.

“She loves you, doesn't she?” He asked. Violet paused, and turned back, surprised.

“Whoa, where's that coming from my dude?” She said, trying to cover her intense embarrassment with an overly casual response.

“If she loves you, she won't love me the same way anymore?” He said. It was both a statement and a question.

“Your Clementine is always going to love you. If. If she loves me too, it's a different kind of love.”

“Different kind of love?” His tone was inquisitive. Violet looked toward the door, Clementine could explain it so much better, and she felt awkward with all this feelings talk. She didn't run away, but sat next to AJ on his bed, and looked across the gap to the sleeping Clementine. She didn't answer for a while, because AJ had that look again.

“You love Rosie, right? She's a good dog.”

“Yeah...”

“But loving Rosie doesn't mean you love Clem any less, does it?”

“No...”

“Love isn't like... uh... food, where if you split it up, everyone gets less. It's like a... uh... shit, what is it like? I suck at metaphors.”

“Met uh.. what?”

“Metaphor. It's a kind of, a way of putting something another way to help people understand.”

“That seems pointless.” AJ said, clearly confused.

“Maybe kid. Listen, you did good today. I'm glad you had my back.”

“I had you covered. You don't need to worry about not coming back.” He laid down and turned toward the wall, “I'll protect you. Clementine does love you. I could see it when she kissed you.”

Violet smiled as the boy settled into bed. She said goodnight and left, closing the door behind her. The knob was still in her hand when she realized, “Wait, did he walk in on us? And we didn't notice?” She shook her head in embarrassment and trod off to her own dorm room, considering the possibility.

  


  


  


Clementine awoke slowly, and reached out for something that wasn't there. She was disoriented, and alone in her room. She stretched and took her time realizing how magical it was to feel like she had a room that was hers. The pictures on the walls, the geode, AJ's toys, the tabby, sniffing her hat on the dresser. She sat up suddenly. The tabby from the treetops was in her room, looking at her expectantly.

“Hey, get away from that.” She reached her hand out to push it away, but the cat moved faster, and was out of her reach, turning and looking expectantly at her again.

“Whatever, cat, I'm sure you're going to be gone the second you meet Rosie.”

She found the edge of the bed and pulled herself over. She sat up with only a little effort, marveling at how easy it was to get her basic mobility back after her injury. The first few days, she had struggled to move herself around, even in bed without her other foot. It was as amazing how much use it got, and just as much how quickly she was getting used to not having it anymore.

She descended into an easy lope coming out of her room, careful to leave the door open so the cat could leave if it wanted. She was in a good mood, something nice must have happened last night, she thought. She could almost whistle.

She entered the courtyard and saw the group gearing up. Ruby was tending to Chopsie, Willy was loading the duffels of books into the back of the cart, Louis was waiting impatiently at the gates. Was everyone up already? Maybe Violet had a point about her sleeping in. She crossed to the departing group, and picked up one of the books out of the pile, “Calendars and You: How the Earth Turns?” she said, confused.

“We have multiple copies of this?” She asked disbelievingly.

“No, I just figured we wouldn't need it.” Ruby said,

“I think I'm going to keep it, if that's alright.” Clementine said. Ruby gave her a funny look.

“'Course you can, sugar.”

She held it awkwardly in her hand as she made her way toward one of the picnic benches, moving much more slowly than before, unable to grip the crutches nearly as well without both hands free. That immediately dampened her good mood. She had a long way to go.

She sat down and idly read the back cover. Violet's shadow fell over her.

“Hey, we're going in a sec.” she crossed her arms and fidgeted. Her eyes caught on the book she had just lifted. Clementine felt a little abashed, and felt like returning the book to the pile, but suddenly couldn't figure out how to do it without feeling weird. Maybe this book would be worth a bullet, or a good knife, and she was keeping it for herself instead.

“Please be careful. They might not be as peaceful as they seem.” She said. Violet bobbed her head and looked away, sitting down next to Clementine, but a few feet apart. There had been no distance the previous night. It seemed like this was the time for the argument they put off the previous evening, when their need for intimacy eclipsed their need to be the one who was right.

“I just think that if we're ever going to get anything for those books, it's going to be now. There's never going to be another group of eggheads wandering around with a mobile library.”

“I understand that, but some of these books probably have stuff in them about plant cultivation, or electronics. You'd be surprised how hard it is to teach AJ about stuff like planets and biology when I don't have books like these.”

“But without supplies, we might not survive the winter. Then AJ definitely won't know about Venus' hot gassy atmosphere.” She stood up, strode a few paces away and said, “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost, for want of the shoe, the horse was lost, for want of a horse, the knight was lost, for want of the knight, the kingdom was lost. All for want of a nail.”

Clementine's eyes flashed in sudden anger and she barely managed to bite back a witty rebuke, “Did you read that in a book?” was what her imaginary self said, burning Violet to ashes. Instead she said nothing and felt really stupid.

“But... I guess I gave up my right to complain when I stepped down and let you be leader.” She said sullenly. Clementine opened her mouth to reply, but Ruby interrupted with a shout from astride Chopsie, “Let's go! Daylight's burning as they say.” and began leading the laden cart out the main gates. Violet turned to follow, but tensed up.

“I'm sorry, Clem. I trust you. I trust your judgment. I don't want to leave mad.” She turned back, leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, and smiled for an instant before turning away.

“Take care of yourself, Vi. I'll keep the home fires burning.”

And with a wave over her shoulder, her girlfriend left her alone with her book.

“Alright little book, let's see if you're worth our first fight.” She blushed, and opened the book, hoping Omar, sitting just behind her, hadn't overheard.

  


  


  


Violet could feel AJ's eyes on her. He wasn't subtle, walking next to her with his face craned up to look at her. She hunched forward and tried to ignore him. He was probably going to ask something super personal, or tell her something about Clementine, and right now she wasn't exactly in the mood.

The two of them walked alongside the cart, stolen during their raid on the boat, drawn by the one horse they had taken with them. Ruby guided the horse at a walk over the uneven road toward the train station. They would have to cross only a short section of wild terrain with the cart to reach the place the caravaners had set up camp. If all went according to plan, they could be back by midday, and they could forget about the whole trading business for a while.

AJ finally looked away from Violet and strode purposefully to the front of the group. “I'm gonna scout ahead. Make sure they haven't set an ambush.” He said it with his serious face on. Violet just nodded, and nocked an arrow to her bowstring. It couldn't hurt to be too careful. She took point, and kept her eyes peeled. Tree branches, emptying of leaves, looked like the emaciated hands of walkers, reaching out to grab them, and in her heightened state of awareness, the bullshit worry gave way to the concrete worries before her.

They emerged into an open area on the side of the road on the far side of the train tracks. There were a series of pitched tents, a handcart with wooden wheels that looked like it had been assembled in haste with improvised materials, and twelve adult men and women. Violet didn't see AJ anywhere, and so assumed he was hidden somewhere close, watching over them. She breathed evenly, trying to show she wasn't afraid, even though they were very outnumbered.

“Hey, uh... we're here.” She said, announcing their presence even though everyone was already looking at them. One of the group, a woman with wild silver hair stepped forward. She had met the woman the last time, Loren. As near as Violet could tell, she was their leader.

“Welcome back. We've readied the supplies we're able to part with. They're on the blankets over there.” She indicated a pile of items on one side of the camp.

“Where are the rest of your people?” Violet asked, trying to keep her tone neutral, but knowing she was coming off hostile.

“They're looking for another path around the train station, or a way to draw off the walkers there so we can try to go around it. We'd like to be on the road before tomorrow, and out of your territory.” She said, honeyed words that Violet wanted to believe.

“Well, we brought what books we have, it's not much, but take a look.”

Violet couldn't help wishing they had brought all the books they had when she saw the items the travelers had on offer. Fishing twine, rope, a heavy duty leather belt, candles, one pretty decent camping knife, a good amount of jerky of unknown origin, a wood saw, even a sleeping bag... She would be surprised if they let any of them go for the price of several middle school textbooks and teen pop fiction.

She was joined by Louis and Ruby, “What do you think, Vi?” the redhead asked.

“I think, we're going to be able to get maybe one of these things for what we brought. I dunno, maybe the wood saw? We got a lot of building materials from the Delta raid and that might help us reinforce our walls, but it will be winter soon and jerky would be a good emergency food source.”

“That belt might help Clem too, a good sturdy fastener could make her peg leg fit easier. It'd make a good tourniquet too, if we ever need one again.” Ruby said, clearly thinking of the emergency amputation that saved Clementine's life. Louis pointed at the fishing twine, but couldn't elaborate on his choice. Great, fuck, she thought. Everything seems kinda useful and she'd have to pick. One of the men in the group of travelers, a man in a pair of green overalls, stared at Louis closely. When he saw Violet had noticed him staring, he disappeared off to the back of the caravan. Asshole, was all she thought.

“Alright, we've chosen the books we're interested in,” Loren indicated a pile of the books, about half of what the kids had brought, that they had set aside, “So what do you want for it?”

Violet stood up straight, nervous at being put in the position of negotiating and said, “We want the... belt.” She paused, realizing Loren expected more demands. “And the wood saw. And the jerky.” And Violet stopped being able to believe the books were worth more than that, and hunched her shoulders, “Take it, or leave it.” She added, unconvincing even to her own ears. A man in a mudstained yellow beanie laughed, “Loren, she didn't even look at what books you chose, she doesn't need the books at all. They're worthless to her.”

“Yes, but she knows they're not worthless to us.” Loren hesitated, “Listen, maybe I can appeal to your better nature. We're educators, and we believe that the best of humanity is yet to come. We also believe that it will be by preserving what's best about the world that was, and passing it on that we'll achieve that future. Some day very soon, the last person who was a doctor before the outbreak will die. At that point, we will need to have some way to teach the skill of medicine to those growing up in our time, like you. Otherwise humanity will need to wait hundreds of years to rediscover that knowledge. Thousands will die of typhus, cholera, dysentery while we wait. You can help to stop that now.”

Part of Violet knew, that if she demanded everything she asked had for, maybe even the whole pile, Loren would cave. She could imagine Ruby and Louis objecting. They were the types to be moved by such an appeal. They were kind of naive that way. Clementine would too, but she'd be persuaded for some other reason. Some sort of triangular logic where giving in now would help them all later, and she'd somehow know how. Violet found herself trusting her imagined Clementine.

“Fine, just the belt and the saw. But it'd better be a damn good saw.” The exchange was made. Violet started loading up, preparing to go when Loren said something more.

“I expected you to be accompanied by an adult for the trading. Are you three surviving on your own out here?”

“Maybe, maybe not. What does it matter?”

“Like I said, we're educators, most of us. We dedicated our lives to fostering a new generation, and then the world ended. If you want, we could teach you...”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Violet said, cutting her off, “We've learned plenty from this world, and just about rule number one was, 'don't trust strangers' and we've had some really good reinforcement lately, so sorry, but we're gonna have to ask you to keep moving after this.”

“Well... we're going to have a bit of a problem then, because we can't go back the way we've come, and we can't get past that train station up ahead.” She said. The man in green overalls that Violet had seen before stepped forward, eyeing Chopsie in a way Violet wasn't comfortable with and said, “With your horse, we could hitch up our wagon, take it offroad, circle the train station, rejoin the road. A few of the other survivors in the caravan seemed to adopt a more threatening posture to Violet. Suddenly she noticed how many were holding baseball bats, or wrenches. Her grip tightened on her bow. Ruby and Louis looked at her questioningly, and seemed to ready themselves to fight or to run at her command. Violet's eyes flitted among the suddenly hostile seeming group. She hoped AJ was covering them well, and gritted her teeth.


	2. For Survival

Chapter 2: For Survival

Clementine had taken her shift at watch, eaten breakfast, read as much of the book as she could without the words falling out of her head as she read them, and was now bored. Being bored was something she had only experienced a few times in the past eight years, and was an extremely novel, yet unwelcome feeling. She couldn't even really 'pace' because of her foot, so she was restless as well. She resolved to go inside, look over some of Marlon's old maps, maybe try to guess at a strategy for surviving the winter. It was already getting cold.

She entered the admin building, carefully still holding Calendars and You in the same hand as her crutch, and starting up the steps. She picked her way carefully, methodically shifting step by step, conscious of her whole body, and the unfamiliar new process of climbing steps. She was about three steps from the first landing when her hand slipped holding the book and she dropped both it and her crutch. She watched helplessly as the crutch banged and clattered down the steps, sliding to a stop on the floor. Sighing in exasperation. She tossed the book up to the second landing and then she carefully sat down on the stair, and slid down, step by step to the bottom. She recovered her crutch and started the ascent all over again.

She recovered her book from the landing and pushed through the doors to the office, and over the scorched floorboards burned during the raider attack. The whole world seemed to accumulate scars. She sat at the desk, and pulled out a map of the greater area, most of southern West Virginia. She traced the curves of the river and followed the train tracks to estimate where Castle Violet was. She followed the road she and AJ had driven down, noting what settlements were already cleared out, and which were overrun. She followed the path of the train tracks in either direction, and marked potential targets. She sat back, thinking. During her time on the road, she would have easily designated these locations as potential sites of resources. Isolated, far from the cities, but navigable. She couldn't get lost in the woods looking for them. She could imagine herself and AJ clearing one such location, and staying for a few nights if they found food, and moving on. Yet... 

Could she send any of her fellow survivors here on a days long journey, hoping they would find something and bring it back? She had confidence in each of her friends here, but what would their mission be? What would they possibly find there that working together, they couldn't make or hunt here? She pulled out a spare sheet of paper and began to brainstorm a totally different classification of salvage than she was used to thinking about. Supplies for a community, not for survival.

She thought about Violet, and their disagreement over the books. It stung her a little that they hadn't seen eye to eye about the idea, but also, she thought maybe it was how Violet gave up. She said that Clementine was their leader, and they had to do what she said. She thought back to Carver, at Howe's Hardware. To Bonnie, trying to tell Clementine why submitting to that madman's will was good, and right. She thought about how Carver had seen himself in her. She shuddered. She had pulled back from that brink since then, she thought. She hoped.

She chewed on the end of the pencil she was using, thinking about how she and AJ had been voted out on their second day as part of the group. She wondered internally how it would break down if she decided to kick out, say, Willy. Most of the group didn't really like Willy very much, he was a gross and weird little dude, but without cause, would anyone else be okay with it? What if she really put her foot down, said it was him or her? What if she called for a vote, and it turned out 5 to 3 against him? Would they escort him to the border of the safe zone with a goodbye and good luck?

She remembered what her parents had taught her about the Bill of Rights, a relic of the old times. She couldn't remember any of the actual rights, but she had an idea that the idea was that there was some sort of basic structure to how society functioned, things no one could do to one another. She thought again about Carver. He created a scenario where no one could disobey him, and so created a situation where his death was the only way to stop him. She hoped that the other kids at Castle Violet would stop her if she called to expel Willy, but Carver probably hoped the same thing once about ordering his people to murder each other. 

Clementine looked down at the sheet of paper in front of her, It said, “Things needed for survival:” and then under it, “Stuff for food preserving” and below that, “Bill of Rights” she rolled her eyes at herself, “Fucking ridiculous.” and crossed out the line “Bill of Rights”

Violet's hand was on the fletching of an arrow, but the people from the caravan didn't seem to notice.

“Come on, it's not that far, and you can have him back once we're through... you'd be saving our lives.” The man in the green overalls said. She could almost believe that he was sincere.

“Listen, we understand if you're wary, we're wary of strangers too. We've been running for a while, and the living are much more dangerous than the dead. The New Frontier, Delta, the Blue Ridge Rangers, The Clan, all these groups are militarized militias who kill and raid freely to fuel their war efforts with each other, but I truly believe it's going to be cooperation that will lead us to a brighter future.” Loren said, Violet rolled her eyes, but looked to Ruby and Louis and knew what was going to happen next.

“Look, okay, just get it done quick, we don't have all day.” She helped Ruby unhitch the cart while Louis helped the travelers strike their camp. She kept a concerned eye out for him. As high minded as these academics' words were, she knew what happened when teachers were really needed. They save their own skin. It was around fifteen minutes before they were ready to go, which gave the scouts from their party enough time to return. One strode nonchalantly past Violet without acknowledgment.

“It's bad out there. 40, maybe 50 walkers. All in and around the station. There's a wrecked car down a gully. We can probably pull the cart down the gully to get around, but it'll be a nightmare getting it back out, or we can skirt the gully, but we'll have to be whisper quiet or we'll be up to our eyeballs in walkers before you can say 'oh, hello.” The scout, a noisy young woman of around 16 with a leather jacket and green eyes stopped talking only after realizing the strangers were still among her group. 

“Who are you?” She said. It seemed a really aggressive question, and she said it without much intonation, so Violet had no idea how to react, “Uh... I'm Violet, this is Louis, and Ruby.” She approached Violet and held her hand out to shake, “My name is Abby, nice to meet you.” she repeated the handshake ritual with each of the three of them. Violet was immediately annoyed by her, and was relieved when she left after introducing herself, as if she abruptly lost interest in them.

“Uh, anyway.” Violet said to Loren, “The gully sounds like the better option. With Chopsie here, we can probably get it out the far side without too much trouble.” Loren nodded, “Hey, I just wanted to tell you that we really appreciate what you're doing for us here. You're a good bunch of kids. Better than I could have ever guessed this world would produce. I think your parents would be proud of you.”

Violet scoffed, “You don't know my parents, and you don't really know me.” Loren shrugged, “Well, your parents should be proud of you.” Violet sucked on her teeth, annoyed, but couldn't help feeling a wave of nauseous excitement at the approval of the older woman. 

“Ugh, whatever, let's just get moving.” the teenager strode purposefully forward, trying not to look like she was running away from the silver haired woman. 

The group picked its way carefully closer to the train station, Chopsie had his blinders on, and Ruby was walking him carefully from the front. Louis was ahead slightly, to the side, ready with his massive chair leg to intercept any walkers before they spooked the horse. Violet led the way, blazing the trail she thought would be easiest for the makeshift cart to navigate. She held position several times when she felt like they were making too much noise, so it was taking some time. The rest of the party of travelers was fanned out behind, weapons at the ready if something were to happen. With fifteen people in their group, most with heavy clubs, it seemed hard for Violet to imagine something going really wrong, but she wanted to be careful.

They arrived at the site of the car crash. Violet looked down at the upside down wreck. Weeds were starting to grow around it, and if she found it was starting to sink slightly into the loam, she wouldn't be surprised. It looked like it might have been stuck there for six months, not just six weeks. She remembered hearing the explosion, being angry and fearful that someone had just been so careless as to call in walkers to their sanctuary. She remembered Marlon calling them to action, rushing off with Mitch, Louis, Aasim and Marlon to do battle. She had been pissed when Marlon ordered them to rush in, risking their lives for strangers, and instantly hated the two interlopers they pulled out of the car. She remembered seeing Clementine's limp body, and how small and weak she looked. At the time, the other girl meant nothing to her. Nothing but a risk, or a liability. Now, only six weeks later, that tiny, dark skinned girl was the most important thing in her life, and seemed like the strongest person she would ever know. She now wished that she had been the one to pull her from the wreckage, like a hero in a story, but the person she was back then would never have done that.

Motioning them to move on, past it, Violet knew this was the most dangerous part, where the herd was the closest, before they'd be moving away from them and to safety. Three straggling walkers became aware of them, and began their shuffle down towards them.

“Shit,” Violet said, “keep going, Louis and I will take them down, just keep moving. Now it's only a matter of time.” She knew the noise of taking out some stragglers would attract more stragglers, and eventually the whole herd would be on them.

She drew her meat cleaver, and climbed out of the gully, circling the walkers. She didn't want to let them have the high ground over her, because they could fall in unexpected ways. Louis instead took advantage by using his weapon's mass to absolutely demolish the knees of the first one he faced, then finishing it with two strong, decisive blows to the head. His maneuver reminded Violet of Clementine's technique. She kicked out the first walker's knee, and when it was laid low, swung her cleaver with all the strength and leverage she had. She noticed it was a lot easier to get enough force that way. 

The second walker was a good bit closer than she realized and she lashed out with her cleaver as soon as she got it free. It cut uselessly at the second walker's outstreached arm, which did nothing to dissuade him from grabbing at her. Panicking slightly she allowed herself to fall backwards, use the downward angle to do a full backroll to get some distance. It closed the distance almost entirely by falling forward, exactly what she had feared, and her leg was in its grasp. She lashed out with her free foot, clobbering it on the head. She hit it again, but she was no closer to getting free. Suddenly its brains were all over her pants as the girl with the leather jacket came to her aid, Abby, holding an iron poker. Maybe she was too quick to judge. 

“A meat cleaver? Really? You've got no range and like, zero penetration with that.” Maybe not. 

“Fuck off, I do alright.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Violet wanted to tell her to shut it, that she was going to draw out more walkers with unnecessary talking, but that, itself would be unnecessary talk. She heard a sickening squeal. The kind of sound you hear when nails are pulled out of wood. The cart was on its way out of the gully, but seemed to have gotten stuck. Violet ran over to have a look. One of its wheels had run into a tree root in just the wrong way, and was now stuck. To get out, it needed to be lifted before it could be dragged. Above, on the lip of the gully, she was starting to see more and more walkers, getting more and more intensely aggravated. Abby was next to her, had followed her. 

“Abby, help me lift this, I think we can get it out. Ruby, be ready to get Chopsie to pull as hard as he can when I give the signal.” She dropped her cleaver where it would be quick to hand and set her hands under the cart frame, and Abby crouched beside her. Lifting with all her might, she felt it slowly start to move. It was nearly free when Violet looked up, and a walker was mere feet away. She was suddenly so frightened, she didn't even try to go for her weapon. At that exact moment, the crack of a gunshot sounded, and the walker fell backwards. Chopsie heaved against the reigns in response and the whole cart jerked forwards. Ruby dove for safety, and out of Violet's sight. She thought the other girl might not have gotten out of the way of the large animal and heavy cart, and craned her neck to try and spot her. Another gunshot rang out and she instinctively ducked. She recovered her weapon and saw the whole herd responding to the shots. They had to get out of the gully now, or they were all dead. 

“Retreat! Run Away! Everyone on me!” She sprang to her feet and chased after the cart. She couldn't spare a glance to be sure the whole group was following, but bounded over fallen logs and muddy patches until she caught up with the spooked Chopsie and pulled back on his bridle. He was well used to gunfire, and wasn't truly terrified, so she was able to calm him. The group coalesced around her, she was pretty certain this was everyone, but she had no time for a headcount. The herd was after them, but they were on the road now. They could outpace them. Then she saw.

Down the hill, Ruby and the man with the green overalls, separated now by a wall of Walkers. Ruby just regaining her senses, and the man crouched next to her. Violet had no idea how to save them, and cursed herself for allowing them to get into this situation. Then, the car started honking. Blaring over and over. She couldn't see through the trees, but it was attracting their attention. The herd was going in that direction, and not in theirs. Ruby and the man waited for the walkers to pass, and ran to them. Violet let out a long and halting breath. That was it. They were clear. They set off, eager to put some distance between them and the walkers.

After a few hundred yards, Violet pulled the procession up. 

“Okay, you're past the train station. This road is relatively clear from here on, so you should be safe now.”

“Who fired that gun? There's going to be walkers coming for miles!” Loren sputtered, looked frightened. 

“Relax, that was one of ours. AJ. He'll draw them off. He's probably the one who used the car horn. They'll get the runaround. Thin em' out.”

“But what about ahead? What if a herd gathers on the road ahead of us?”

“I dunno, I guess you'll die?” Violet was getting tired of their worrying, “Look, you've got numbers on your side, you've got weapons. Just move quickly, and quietly, and you'll be fine.” Loren looked at her with disappointed eyes, and Violet almost told her on the spot where the school was, in case they got blocked by another herd. She bit her tongue and put on an aggravated face.

“Hey, your weapons are ridiculous.” Violet heard Abby say, and she rounded to defend herself against the cheeky brat, only to see she had been addressing Louis, who was still holding 'Chairles' Violet suddenly felt really sad, because Louis would love nothing more than to be exaggeratedly hurt at a cute girl mocking his weapon, and flirting with her in return. 

“Hey, he uh... he can't talk.” She said, not wanting to bring up the specifics of how he was maimed.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, then began to weave her hands in an incomprehensible pattern of forms and movements, before stopping, and looking expectantly at him. Louis looked to Violet, totally dumbfounded.

“Oh, he can't speak at ALL then? Boy, that's sad.” She turned around and walked away without another word. Violet shrugged. Louis shrugged back, but looked pained. She resolved to cheer him up somehow when they got home.

Loren and Ruby had finished unhitching Chopsie, and the visitors were ready to get moving.

“I wish I had something better to offer you, but anything I give you will be something my people might need to survive. But maybe I can give you a piece of advice that might help.” Loren said. She rummaged in one of the backpacks on the cart and produced a handful of tiny green leaves.

“These are called Watercress. They grow rampant around here, in basically any shallow running water. They don't look like much, but they've got a ton of vitamins, and they taste pretty good. Throw them in a stew and it'll give you more energy for nothing. They don't last very long after harvesting, so cook them under pressure and can them if you get a bumper crop.” She pressed them into Violet's hands and smiled.

“There's not many people left in the world, but to see young people not repeating the mistakes we made in this new world, you've saved this old woman's life.” Violet couldn't help rolling her eyes just a little bit, but she felt kind of bad about it.

“We're heading towards Richmond. Heard a rumor from some people who came from there that it's a pretty peaceful community. Supposed to be armed, but opposed to the New Frontier. Supposed to have some kids. We're hoping we can contribute to their success.”

“Well, good luck. The fastest way is I60, but you'll pass through some cities going that way.” Violet kept feeling like Loren was asking for more. She felt like she was supposed to give them a map, or offer them food or something. She got the sense she understood how they had survived so long. 

The caravan was ready to depart, but the man in the green overalls approached her suddenly, carrying a book.

“Hey, I saw your friend Louis was having trouble communicating. I don't mean to intrude, but I'd like to give this to you, as a gift.” He offered a worn, battered book with a cover that was glossy once. It said, “American Sign Language Dictionary and then below, two pictures of a hand balled up, and a third in the shape of an 'L'. Violet's eyes widened. “I didn't want to give it to him directly, because I didn't want to presume. I don't know if he wants to learn, or is ready, but you're his friend, you would know him better.”

“You'd just give this to us? Why?” he seemed surprised, “Because you can use it.” he answered simply, as if it were obvious. She couldn't believe she had thought he was going to attack her and steal Chopsie just a half hour ago. She shook her head in disbelief, and the man and the whole strange caravan was trundling down the road.

It was midafternoon when Omar spotted the returning expedition. Clementine felt pretty shitty for having taken the book off the pile, and had left it stashed in the office. She had spent some of the early afternoon working in the greenhouse to try and make up for it, and was exhausted. Everything she did seemed to take ten times the energy it used to. Omar was cooking a pretty meager stew with the only rabbit they had caught that day using the traps. Tonight was going to be a hungry night unless they dipped into their stores of preserved goods, and she really did not want to do that.

Clementine could see blood on Violet's clothing from a distance, and her heart leapt into her throat. What had she said about being careful? Hadn't she promised? She forced herself to breathe, and think. They were walking at a normal pace, unhurried, not limping. The blood was dark, walker blood. Maybe it had been a routine encounter with a wandering walker. No big deal. She was calm when the gates parted for the returning kids. 

“Welcome home. Everything go okay?” Clementine asked, clasping hands with Violet affectionately, and hugging AJ.

“Yeah, we got some good stuff, but they didn't have much else that was useful. Violet presented the belt and the saw, and Louis presented the fishing twine. Violet looked curiously at him, he shrugged and shook his head. Clementine had no idea what passed between them, but Violet seemed to understand. 

“We helped them pass the Train Station. I had to use a few bullets, but I recovered the casings.” He held out three cases. Clementine frowned, the bullets were dwindling. 

“Pretty thin day on the hunting front. We didn't have anyone to spare for fishing, and only one rabbit was caught. It's gonna be a thin night. I was going to suggest we avoid dipping into our stores, but I want to know what you all think.” she looked around seriously. “I feel like I made the decision for us about the books and the caravan, and I want to open up.”

“Wait,” Violet said. “I think I might have a solution. One of the people in the caravan gave me some leaves... said they're good to eat and they grow around here.” She produced a handful. AJ perked up, “I've seen those. Near the river. I could run and grab some.” Clementine was surprised. She didn't have to make a decision today. It wasn't often solutions would fall into her lap like this.

“Okay, but remember, don't go alone. Take Willy with you. I'll relieve his lookout duty. Everyone else, get some rest before dinner. Vi, can I talk to you?” “Uh, yeah. 'course.” Violet put her hand on her hip, and looked down as the group dispersed. Clementine gathered her crutches and began making her way over to the watchtower. 

“I've been thinking about some stuff. Leadership, making decisions for the group.”

“Oh god, please don't say you're stepping down.” Violet burst out. 

“Uh... well, not exactly,” Clementine was surprised at the heat of her response, “I was just thinking about other groups I've been in, and why they fell apart. Or about the groups that have been my enemies in the past, and what made them go bad.” Violet got the impression Clementine didn't have a lot of living enemies.

“I think that what makes good groups go bad is when there's only one person in charge, and the only way to change that is to kill them.” Clementine said darkly, looking into the middle distance at the base of the watchtower. She started to climb without waiting for a response. After she got to the top, and Willy came down, Violet climbed up and crossed the platform to sit with Clementine at the far end, legs dangling off the far side of the wall. Violet continued as if they hadn't paused.

“I think that makes sense for some groups, but not for us. I don't think anyone is that worried about you turning into a tyrant, and I wouldn't let anyone kill you.” Violet realized that wasn't really a very romantic way to say what she meant.

“That's part of the problem, I think. If, say, I did something to make Willy lose confidence in me, and you, Ruby and AJ were loyal to me beyond question, maybe the only choices Willy would be left with would be to run away, or to kill me.” Clementine put the binoculars up to her eyes, scanning the forest surrounding as if she weren't contemplating her own murder.

“Now let's say I've come to depend on Willy's technical know-how. Let's say he figures out how to reload bullet casings, and suddenly we're really well armed because of him. Now I don't want to let him run away. Now he's got one choice.” She drew a finger over her neck, and made a scraping noise with the back of her throat.

“Okay, so what do we do?” Violet said, “And can we stop talking about people killing you?” She tried to make it a joke, but her tone betrayed her distress. Clementine heard her, and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“I think what we need is a voice for the opposition. Some way to counter me if I'm doing something that crosses a line. I think I need a lieutenant who can veto some of my decisions.”

“Are you suggesting I do it? I don't know if I want to do that.” 

“I think we should vote. We should vote on who we want to be leader, and we should vote on who we want to be lieutenant.”

“Are you sure that's a good idea? Last time there was a vote, it was to kick you and AJ out...”

“I know. I'm not sure it's going to be the best system, but I've seen too many groups fall apart because no one could defy the power mad leader to become that power mad leader myself.”

Violet shook her head, “Maybe. I think it's going to be a long, long time before you're voted out. You should get used to it, because you're going to be our leader until you're seventy five and begging us to elect someone else.” Violet teased, chuckling to herself softly. Clementine smiled in response. The two of them sat together, atop the watchtower with no one else around, and their chat turned to lighter topics, the little nothings of two young people falling in love.

Dinner was more substantial with the fresh greens, and no one went to bed with hunger pains, even if no one was completely satisfied. Clementine was so tired after dinner, she went to bed at twilight. Everyone else stayed in the courtyard, still lit and warmed by the cooking fire as it died down. AJ and Aasim tossed the beach ball back and forth while Ruby watched, petting a contented looking Rosie. The Tabby cleaned herself on the far end of the courtyard from Rosie, pretending it didn't notice anyone. Violet saw Louis sitting by himself, passing his deck of cards between his palms. She drew a deep breath. This was maybe the best time she could ask for. She sat opposite him and nodded in greeting. He nodded back. It was hard to tell if he was happy to have his solitude interrupted, or not.

“Hey, uh. That girl from the caravan, Abby? It was pretty cool how she knows sign language, isn't it?” Violet felt incredibly awkward. She hated having no social skills. “Well, before we left, one of them gave me a book, uh here.” She presented it plainly. Louis accepted it gingerly, his eyes passing between it and Violet, clearly in pain.

“I think it'd be pretty cool to learn, myself. I mean, you could be annoying us all with your lame jokes in no time.” She couldn't tell what he was thinking, she wished he could just tell her. Louis simply took the book from her, and stood to leave. Violet watched him go, waiting to see if he gestured her to follow, or if he would turn back. He just walked away, back like a stone wall. She sighed and covered her face with her hand. She hoped it had been the right thing to do. She was pretty tired too, but hers was the next watch. She resolved to sleep in the next morning, and trudged to the watchtower to relieve Willy early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the story so far. I hope the chapter one cliffhanger wasn't a letdown For those of you expecting a particularly sticky situation. Chapter 3 will come next Friday.


	3. Left Unsaid

AJ rose before the dawn. He rose from bed without pause and padded to the door silently. With a look back, he was out the door. He had never had any trouble waking up early, or going without sleep if he needed, and never felt tired when he did. He thought it was kind of funny how much of a sleepyhead his guardian was. He remembered being out on the road, feeling like he was sitting watch over her in the night. Today, he was resolved to go fishing before it was light, and bring back breakfast for everyone. He knew Violet was going to be starving, he always was after facing walkers. Clementine was still healing, and needed his help. But he couldn't go alone. He couldn't break the first rule.

He knocked at Louis' door. “Hey Louis!” he whispered. He cracked the door, knowing the older boy couldn't respond. Louis was sleeping with one leg dangling off the side of the bed, sprawled out, with his mouth open and head sideways, with no pillow. He was snoring fitfully. AJ crossed to his bedside, “Louis!” he whispered again, louder. Still no response. He shook the older boy's shoulder firmly with a third rousing exclamation. Finally Louis snapped awake, and shocked by his sudden awakening, tried to talk.

“Ouuo Whao Uoohiin” It was unintelligible, and Louis snapped his mouth shut when he realized what he was doing, and looked like he was on the verge of angry, embarrassed tears. AJ just looked at him with his steady gaze.

“Sorry to wake you Louis. Everything's fine, but I need your help with something.” Louis shook his head, as if clearing away cobwebs, and nodded.

“I'm going to the river, before anyone wakes up. I'm going to get enough fish that no one will be hungry. I need your help with that. First, I need you to watch my back. Never go alone.” He said seriously, repeating dogma. “Second, I know you got that fishing twine. I assume you know how to use it? I don't think spear fishing is going to work well without light.” Louis nodded, excitedly, he crossed to his closet, where he withdrew a fishing rod, a length of the fishing twine already loaded in it.

“Oh, cool! You're gonna teach me to use that.” AJ said, stating it as fact, a touch smugly, rather than asking. He wanted to ask Louis how he got the fishing twine when Violet hadn't asked for it, but knew the question would just upset Louis, since he couldn't answer.

The two set out, passing Omar, taking the early morning shift at watch, and set out toward the river. In the pale light of the moon and stars, the two dug in the soft mud for worms, Louis pantomimed the act of casting the line, and demonstrated the feel of a fish tugging on the line.. In almost total silence, they worked together, and by the thinnest break of dawn, they had three fish in their bucket. Louis held up one finger, then made a sign with both hands. AJ didn't know it, but could tell from context Louis was asking if he wanted to get just one more.

“Yeah, one more. Then we'll head back. This will be enough for breakfast. Thanks, Louis.”

Louis beamed.

That day, the ASL dictionary was presented to the group. Violet, Louis and AJ trying to convince everyone to try it. Clementine and Ruby were all for it. Willy wasn't sure he could do it, he said he wasn't very good at “school stuff”, and got very stressed. Aasim and Omar didn't seem to know if it'd work, but promised to at least try. The book was passed around among them rapidly, as they all struggled to think of words to say, and tried to talk to each other using signs. It was chaos, but it was the best time anyone had had since before the raid.

Clementine found she was frustratingly unable to do many of the chores around Castle Violet with her leg missing. Mostly because no one wanted to let her leave the walls on her crutches. Imagining her helpless before a walker made Violet firmly veto going out to fish, or haul wood. Clementine had to admit, hauling wood on crutches seemed pretty unrealistic, but it was frustrating to be told not to bother even trying to figure out a way.

So she took two lookout shifts, and let herself be physically bound within the walls. She grumbled slightly, that she wasn't sure why she was worried about becoming tyrannical when she wasn't even allowed to go where she wanted. She wondered during her long day atop the watchtower if they'd be more lenient if she wore the prosthetic instead, even if she was pretty sure she wouldn't move as well with it as she did with the crutches.

The days passed uneventfully for a time. Clementine was reading every chance she got. Calendars and You turned out to be pretty useful. She learned how to set up an accurate sun dial, and with the wood saw and salvaged building materials, built a big one, visible from the watchtower, and arguments about whether someone's watch shift had started or not quieted; at least during the day.

She also learned how to test if it was the solstice, and resolved to begin recording time again. She knew eight winters had passed since the dead began to rise again, and remembered what year it had been before that. She felt an odd responsibility to the survivors of the future to record what she could of this historical period. It was like Tenn said, there would be an age after this. Clementine clutched her fist. If she had to haul it out of the present bare handed, there would be.

She and Violet also named the stars together. Clementine couldn't climb the bell tower any more, so the two stargazed from the courtyard. Often after everyone else had gone to sleep. She was certain she had never been happier.

Learning ASL was slower going than any of them had realized at first, and aside from Louis, who had the most motivation to learn, AJ, who absorbed it like a sponge, and Violet, who threw herself into practicing day and night, no one was getting much better at understanding his new form of speaking. AJ was starting to stick to Louis' side to be a translator. Louis seemed to be a lot happier than he was before, now that he could communicate, but it was still hard.

Their food situation was beginning to get better, step by step. They rigged a pot to pressure cook and they reused the glass jars they recovered from the train station to preserve whatever edible greenery they could get their hands on in slimy, unappetizing muck that might save their lives in winter. They also dried strips of rabbit meat using a technique they found in one of their books, making their own jerky. Violet had to admit, Clementine had seen the wisdom in holding on to their books. It might have been that book that they had traded to the travelers for the jerky they had. 

The other kids revealed to Clementine that they had survived previous winters in part because of the boiler in the basement. It could heat the whole school with one fire. They had been lucky in previous years. Marlon had brought down a deer twice with his powerful compound bow, and they had been able to keep it frozen in a coldbox outdoors. They no longer had the bow, though. Their preserving efforts would have to do enough. No one was crass enough to say it, but another thing that helped was fewer mouths to feed. They were running a skeleton crew.

Clementine finalized a way of counting votes that she was happy with. A pair of chutes were installed that led from the dorm entryway down to the cellar. Special voting stones were designated that could be dropped through one of the chutes, where it would land out of reach in a vessel in the basement. The cellar would only be unlocked when everyone went below to check the total together. As near as Clementine could tell, no one could manipulate the vote. There was the minor hitch that because there were only two options, it would only ever be a yes or no vote, but it was good enough for now. The first vote: Should Clementine be their leader?

Clementine almost teared up when the group checked the vote tally for that question. It was unanimous. She hadn't exactly expected to lose, or anything, but the idea that all of them had confidence in her was another thing. It was one thing to be accepted by a group of people who you liked, but to get unambiguous proof they liked you back? They valued you? She couldn't help herself.

It was more complicated to find a way to elect a lieutenant via yes-no ballot, But only Omar and Ruby actively volunteered, and so it made sense to make each chute correspond to one of them. It was agreed that the leader must abstain from voting in this case, and Clementine agreed. Ruby was elected to be the lieutenant.

And so the temperatures began to drop in earnest, and the first snows fell well before the Solstice. No one could remember exactly when the first snow fell in previous years, but Clementine didn't like what an early snow could signify. Cold could kill quickly, and they had very little in terms of cold weather clothing. She brought a map to breakfast one morning, trying to outflank the problem by discovering some hidden cache of cold weather gear. 

Louis sat down across from her, waved to get her attention, and then said, slowly, “What are you looking for?” Clementine put down her tea, and struggled to sign back as she spoke aloud. “Some place where we can... find... warm clothes.” They practiced speaking using signs even though Louis could hear because they decided it would help them learn to understand better. 

“Can I help?” Louis asked. Clementine wanted to tell him 'no', because she didn't think it would be very productive to try and have a conversation when she didn't understand half of what he said. She felt like it would turn her strategy brainstorm into a practice session for signing, but she also hated it when people took the axe away from her when she went to split wood, and so could imagine being Louis at that moment. Clementine nodded, “Yeah”

She spread out the map, the one of the wider area. She traced her finger back along the road.

“I came from this direction, there's not much to see there” She tapped, “Around here there's a church that I passed because it had some walkers” She searched for the right words, “Maybe they left? Maybe the church has a donations section?” It felt weak to her, and Louis agreed.

“Right, moving on.” she traced it further. “A town, sort of. Ten, maybe twenty buildings. About a quarter mile stretch of road. I stopped for about a week there, I didn't see a big stash of winter clothing, but it's worth another look maybe. I definitely picked it over though.” Louis snapped his fingers, as if a thought had suddenly occurred to him. He traced the road south, crossed the river, said, “The Bridge, where Millie attacked us.” continued tracing across, then south again, into a mess of smaller backroads that had no names on the map they had. He tapped that mass and said, “Ski Lodge. I've been there.” Clementine remembered the Ski Lodge she visited when she was eleven, where she had met up with Kenny again after getting separated in Georgia. Where she met Walter, the first person who ever said one nice thing about another human being after the dead began to rise, and was himself dead within three hours of meeting her. She wondered if someday she'd have an association with every conceivable type of location with the death of someone who didn't deserve to die. 

“Yeah, a Ski lodge. How long is that walk though? It took us all night to get to the bridge from the caves.” she was starting to give up on her signing, some words she just didn't know, and didn't want to fingerspell them over and over. Louis didn't comment on her slacking, but she wondered if he just knew she wouldn't understand what he was saying if he rebuked her for her lack of effort.

“One full day, sleep there, one full day back.” He said. She nodded her understanding. 

“Thanks Louis. I'm going to think about this.” Louis nodded, picked up his bowl and made his way down to Aasim, who was trying to carve a spear head. 

She needed to decide who to send. AJ and Violet were obvious choices, but she selfishly didn't want to be apart from either of them if she could help it. Louis was holding up better than before, but she didn't want to underestimate how bad his trauma was. If they met survivors there, and they were dangerous, she didn't want him going to pieces. Omar, their cook, was almost irreplaceable on the home front for getting the most out of their increasingly meager daily catch. She sighed, wishing she could just go herself. She had the experience, dealing with survivors, scavenging ruins, surviving where it was cold and harsh. She thought again about the prosthetic foot. Maybe it was worth thinking about more. She looked over at Willy, who had dug out a recessed portion of the ground inside the burnt out building they had repurposed into Chopsie's stables. He was talking with Ruby, and trying to lay a piece of grated metal over his hole. She had no idea what he was doing, but trusted his weird little mind.

Suddenly Clementine realized, Chopsie was the answer. She had experience fighting on horseback, and the horse could let her cross rough territory just as well as anyone. She and AJ could ride together in the saddle, scavenge the place safely, and haul the clothes back without danger. She thought about everyone's concerned eyes, and how they thought of her now. Clementine knew no one else had the experience she did in living on the road, and no one else had a hope of doing this as safely as she could. Maybe soon she would trust AJ to guide Violet or Louis on missions like this, but she knew. This was her task. She gathered her crutches and strode towards Willy, who was now arguing with Ruby while spreading straw over his metal grating. 

“Willy!” She said, “Get me that goddamn peg leg. I'm going to need some practice.”

Clementine liked the feel of the new attachment better. Willy had managed to make a “cup” out of leather and wood strips that he could set the 'peg' into, so it would lock into position in line with her leg. She could tell he had been working on it against her direction. With the belt firmly fastened, it felt really uncomfortable, but secure. She took a few experimental steps on it and wobbled, but didn't quite fall over.

“Look, I'm glad you're willing to try the peg leg again, but is it really necessary to go yourself? I've been out about that far before myself, before Marlon pulled in the safe zone last year.” Violet had her arms crossed, and wasn't looking at Clementine, pointedly.

“The Bridge is just over halfway there. And it isn't just about getting there and back again, it's finding what we need there. Every place on earth has seen someone scavenging it for supplies by now. It's about finding stuff that's been hidden. It's doing it safely, quietly. I've lived for years out there, finding canned beans in hollowed out walls.” Clementine said, holding her arms out for balance as she sauntered around, experimentally. 

“I just think, you know, there's gotta be some way you're okay with AJ taking one of us?” 

“AJ knows what he's doing, but we're used to working as a team. Trust me, this is going to work.” She crossed back to her girlfriend, and clasped hands with her. “Please let me come too, at least.”

Clementine shook her head. “The whole point is to get there on horseback. Can't carry three. Heck, in six weeks, AJ might be too big to ride double.” Violet frowned, and broke eye contact. Clementine could tell she was frustrated. She gently cupped her face.

“Hey, remember, there's someone you can go to. If you really think I'm wrong here, Ruby is who you need to convince.” Violet nodded, but half-stepped away, continuing to hold Clementine's hand to help steady her on the unfamiliar foot. “You would forgive me?” She said sheepishly. Clementine said “Of course.” Right away, but then grew silent. There was a lot being left unsaid. If her leadership was going to constantly be pitting her against her girlfriend, what did that say about her leadership? What did it say about their relationship? Clementine forcibly shoved that last thought aside. Relationships have problems, she told herself. It's how you solve them that matters.

“But listen, I want you to give me a chance to change your mind first.” Clementine said. “Let's say that the plan is to leave at dawn, four days from now. If I'm not good enough on this thing by then to make you feel like I can make my way, you'll go instead.”

“Me?” Violet asked. Clementine laughed,

“I need something to motivate me.”

“You're going to have to let someone take care of you some day.” Violet turned back to her. Stepping close. It felt like when they danced in Clementine's sun drenched bedroom on the day after one of the worst nights they had experienced. At least cracking the top 20 worst days for Clementine. Suddenly Clementine felt unsteady, and held firmer to Violet. 

“Sorry, I have to sit down.” Violet helped her to the bedside where they both sat. Clementine wanted to take the uncomfortable thing off, but also knew she had something to prove now, and put the discomfort out of her mind. She felt really at ease with Violet, so a little discomfort could be ignored.

“What are the chances?” Violet suddenly said, “What if you had turned right once, instead of left? Would we have never met?” 

“Maybe not. Maybe we both would have made our ways to Delta independently. Maybe right now we'd be brainwashed soldiers, and I'd be crushing on my comrade.”

Violet reacted with a kind, but sad look. Clementine realized that if that had happened, Violet would be with Minnie right now. The atmosphere was thick between them, and Clementine knew she couldn't ask, but she needed suddenly to be told it was better this way. Minnie was dead, and Clementine had killed her. Tenn died in front of them. James had died helping them. Mitch had died in the raid. Marlon and Brody died because of the secret of Minne and Sophie's fate that Clementine had exposed. It was suddenly a burden to think maybe if she had done nothing, she could have been friends with all of them at Delta anyway, and no one would have had to die. She needed Violet to reassure her, but she couldn't ask Violet to accept that so many people she loved should have died to get them here, sitting on her bed together.

“I'm really glad you turned left.” Violet said. It was clear from her look that she understood what that meant, and took on that burden as well. Clementine knew right then that she loved the other girl. Her heart beat so hard she felt like she might black out, and she had no idea why she couldn't say it. Instead she rested her head against Violet's shoulder, and let herself feel it, even if she couldn't express it.

AJ was patrolling. Or at least, that's what he would have said if anybody asked him. He knew patrolling was what he did when the rage bubbled up in him, and his energy had to be made to go into the world or it would burn him to cinders inside. Right now he was just avoiding his room. Clementine and Violet were using it right now, and he knew they didn't want him to interrupt their time together. AJ closed his eyes and looked inside to try to tell how he felt about that. He was used to having all of Clementine's attention, and it hurt and felt a little empty inside whenever he didn't have it. Still, somehow he didn't want to just run in and grab her attention. He resolved to give them thirty more minutes, and then he would reclaim his room.

He went out to the courtyard to check the sun dial. He was staring at it, watching the shadow slowly creep along, and felt like he had been waiting forever already. Aasim approached, sitting backwards in a chair behind where he was kneeling and said, “Whatcha doin' buddy?”

“Waiting.” AJ said, thinking that was an inane question. It was obvious that's what he was doing.

“Well, waiting takes a lot longer when you're looking at the time. You should find something to distract yourself. It'll make the time go by faster.” AJ looked at him with his serious eyes, looking pretty skeptical.

“Like what?” 

“Here, why don't we go practice using a bow? You're our best marksman, but we're not going to have bullets forever.” Aasim stood as if to lead him toward the target range. AJ took one last long look at the shadow, which stubbornly hadn't moved, and hurried after the older boy.

AJ's draw wasn't long enough to use the bows they had very effectively, but Aasim was teaching him the form and practice. Some day he'd be big enough. 

“So you've been with Clementine a long time, huh?” Aasim asked. AJ nodded, retrieving his arrows from the target carefully.

“For as long as I can remember. I think she took care of me when I was a baby. She's said she lost me for a while, to a group of killers, but I don't really remember that time very well.”

“Bet you were surprised to find out she's gay.” Aasim said. AJ quirked one eyebrow at him.

“What is gay?” He said in the voice of total innocence.

“Uh, it's what it means when someone likes someone of the same gender. She's with Violet, so she's gay. Well, I think they call them Lesbians, but gay is the more general term.” Aasim said, stumbling over his words to explain.

“Was I supposed to be surprised?”

“Huh, I guess not. She's the only person you've been around. Whatever she does must seem normal to you.”

“Is being... gay... not normal?”

“I don't mean it like that. I'm not trying to be a bigot.” Aasim waved his hands in front of him defensively. AJ just looked confused.

“Most boys feel romantically only towards girls, and most girls feel romantically only towards boys. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it, just that it's sometimes surprising.” Aasim tried to explain further, “Uh, just forget I said anything.” He said with a frown.

AJ wasn't sure what to do with this new information, and so focused on shooting arrows. It wasn't as intuitive to him as firing a gun. He had seen Clementine nail the center of the target again and again the first time Louis had handed her Marlon's bow. As far as AJ knew, that had been the first time she had ever fired a bow. By comparison, he was hitting somewhere on the target almost every time, and Aasim was telling him that was impressive. He supposed everyone had their gifts, and maybe his wasn't the bow and arrow. He set them aside.

“I'm going to go check on Clementine.” he said with some finality. Aasim wasn't going to argue with him, and just silently retrieved their arrows.

AJ entered the room he shared with Clementine carefully. Clementine was alone inside, reading in bed. 

“Hey goofball. I was starting to wonder where you were.” She sat up, closing her book around a thin strip of paper.

“I was learning how to shoot a bow. Aasim was showing me.”

“Well, I'll have to thank Aasim.”

“I don't know if you do.” AJ responded.

“Excuse me?” Clementine said, suddenly surprised at his rude shortness. AJ clutched his fists in front of his abdomen and closed his eyes.

“Aasim said something weird, and I'm trying to figure it out. Give me a little bit.”

“Listen buddy, sometimes it can help to talk things out with someone else. I'm sure he didn't mean to insult you.” AJ shook his head,

“It wasn't me he was insulting, and I don't know if it was an insult, but it felt like an insult.”

“AJ, what did he say?” Clementine was starting to get a little worried. AJ turned his gaze towards her, looking sad and worried.

“He said you were gay.” Clementine didn't respond at first, put a finger to her lips.

“I guess I am. I hadn't really thought about it.” She smiled, “Yes Alvin Junior, I'm gay.”

AJ chuckled lightly. He wasn't sure it was a joke, and didn't get it if it was, but Clementine said it with the tone of a joke.

“Aasim has known Violet for a long, long time now. I'd be really surprised if he was homophobic.” Clementine said. AJ looked confused, and like he was tired of being confused. “It means, 'hates gay people for being gay.'” she clarified. 

“Homophobic.” AJ tried it out, “That's the one that should feel like an insult.” Clementine felt an upwelling of pride in her chest, and reached out and pulled AJ in for a sudden hug. “Aargh! Leggo!” he said, laughing. “I can't! You're just too cute!” She was giggling too. Finally AJ pulled away, but he was smiling now.

“I don't think Aasim is homophobic. He just thinks it's normal to not be gay. That still doesn't feel quite right. I feel like I should have defended you. You are normal to me. That's why it felt like an insult.” He said.

“You're a pretty smart kid, AJ.” 

“It takes me a while, but I get there.” He said, clearly proud of himself.

“Hey, big head, let's go get some dinner.” Clementine began strapping her prosthetic foot on, and stood with the aid of only one crutch. AJ watched as she used both the prosthetic leg and crutch together to move, leaving one hand free to open the door. He could tell her ability to move was getting more fluid, more confident. He sprang forward to follow her.

Over the next few days, Clementine walked everywhere on 'that damn foot' as she called it. Violet and Ruby agreed on a set of tasks she would need to perform in the course of a typical survival situation, and made various obstacles and mock ups of related objects. She absolutely could not run on the foot, but she could outpace a walker, although without her crutch it made her winded very quickly to do so for more than a few dozen feet, so they asked her to be able to pace with it around the courtyard three times without stopping. She'd also need to climb a waist high barrier, which was easy in theory, Since she could just flop onto it and pull herself up, but finding purchase and standing again were hard when she was used to having a foot with a shoe that could grip, and bend. She was struggling, but she kept going until she broke out in a light sweat, despite the cold. They wanted her to be able to jump a full pace, and she had nearly hurt herself when she tried the first time, so she was really working her way up to that as a goal.

She could crawl though. They couldn't come up with a situation where she was on the ground where she couldn't hit whatever goal they set for her. And she could still fight. She was most surprised when she discovered that. Wooden planks were set up as dummies in random spots in the yard with her back turned, and at Ruby's signal, she was to turn around and shoot them with arrows. She could step, pivot, and loose three arrows with accuracy. She'd be hard pressed to say she was any slower now than before the injury. The prosthetic leg, being made out of thick, sturdy wood, and secured well enough, she could actually kick harder than she could before. Her balance and grace weren't up to her old self, but she hadn't fallen over yet while practicing, and she was getting better.

So on the night of the third day, Violet finally accepted Clementine's decision. She repeated what Clementine had told her before, “This is the part where you promise to be really careful.” Ruby had signed off on it, and would be in charge until she returned. Everything was in place, everything was ready for her to leave in the morning, and suddenly Clementine couldn't sleep. She stared up at the bare upper bunk above her in the dark. A breeze made the windowpanes shudder slightly, and AJ rolled over in his bed. She looked over to him. He was deep asleep, and she was wide awake. Her eyelids didn't even feel heavy. She felt empty, like she wasn't even real. She considered that maybe she was excited. She hadn't left the walls of Castle Violet since she was carried back from James' church a couple months ago.

No, Clementine knew herself well enough, and wasn't too proud. She was scared. She had spent a lot of time in bed after losing her leg, thinking that she would never fight again. She had settled into an easy belief that inside the walls were where she belonged. While she had argued plenty of times that she could take care of herself within the safe zone in the time since, she had always known in the back of her mind that Violet would win that argument, so it was safe to have. Lee was right, it was harder when you had something to lose.

She knew she wasn't going to sleep tonight, and so got out of bed. She left her prosthetic foot behind and moved out into the hallway as silently as she could. Looking back at AJ, it seemed like he hadn't moved, but Clementine knew he had awoken. He heard her go, and didn't stop her. Clementine walked down the hallway, taking pains to make as little noise as she could, until she was outside Violet's door. She considered walking away. She could just keep moving. Look at the stars, talk to whoever was on watch, go to the kitchen for a cup of water. She didn't have to wake Violet. It was her own problem to deal with. She could push through the fear. That's what she was always telling AJ.

She knocked. Inside there was a shuffle, a prolonged cloth movement sound, and finally, “Come in”

Violet looked wide awake when Clementine opened the door. Laying in bed with covers up to her shoulders. 

“Hey, I hope you weren't asleep.” Clementine felt awkward entering Violet's room so late at night. She had a thousand new fears that had nothing to do with going beyond the safety of the walls the next morning. 

“No, I just got done with my watch shift. I hate these 'middle of the night' shifts. I always end up staying up for them, and then can't sleep after. Worst of both worlds.” Violet patted the mattress next to her, inviting Clementine to sit. Clementine moved over to her side. Clementine noticed the other girl's boots at the base of the bed, her denim jacket draped over the back of the chair at her desk. 

“Hey, are you doing alright?” Violet reached out to rest her hand on Clementine's upper arm, making a slight caressing motion. Clementine knew she must look like a mess if Violet noticed in the dark.

“I'm just worried. Scared, I guess. About tomorrow.” Clementine admitted. Violet's hand grew still on her arm.

“It's not too late to tell me to go instead. I would be overjoyed if that's what you decided after all.” Clementine shook her head vigorously, “No, that wouldn't help at all. I think I need to do this, or I'll never feel safe again. I just need to keep pushing through.”

“Okay, Clem. I believe in you. I know you'll be okay out there. I'm going to worry every moment you're gone, but that kinda just goes with the territory.”

Clementine then noticed Violet's pants were draped over the unused second bunk bed. She could see Violet's shoulders were covered, but under the covers, her girlfriend was possibly close to naked. She flushed and looked away. 

“I should go. Sorry for bothering you.” Clementine arranged her crutches to help her stand, but Violet stopped her,

“Hey, I'm not going to take advantage of you or something, you just caught me undressed for bed. If you want, I'll put something on, but you should stay.”

Clementine always slept in her clothes, but was vaguely aware most people found it uncomfortable. She tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

“Don't worry about it. I was just surprised I guess. I've just been on the road too long to enjoy simple pleasures like that.

“You should try it.” Violet's voice was heavy, Clementine thought it was almost sultry. 

“I don't know, Vi...” Clementine fought against herself to stay, or to go, to agree, or to deny. She was paralyzed with indecision. 

“We don't have to do anything. Just feel what it's like. It might make you feel safe. Like, you're wearing all your heavy clothes to bed because you used to do it when you lived out on the road? Maybe your body thinks it's still go time?” she reached out again, “Just relax.” Clementine felt herself drawn in. She bent over to untie her bootlaces. Her fingers were shaking with nerves and excitement and it took her a while to get them off. She took off her jacket, and rolled back onto the bed to help remove her pants, crowding Violet. The two of them exchanged apologies as they fidgeted around, trying to sort themselves out in the dark. Violet offered the blanket to her, and she found her way under it.

It was overwhelming, for Clementine. It was warm, and she could feel more of Violet's skin than she ever had at once before. She felt like she was under water. 

“There. Isn't that nice?” Violet moved behind her, and said, “Can I?” and put her arm partway around Clementine's abdomen. She nodded. Violet rested her arm gingerly around the other girl, spooning her slightly.


	4. Nature of Violence

Clementine found herself waking to a gentle shake.

“Time to wake up, sleepyhead.” It was Violet's voice, coming from just beside her. It seemed like she wanted her to wake up, but that was impossible, because it was too comfortable here. She turned over and snuggled into the warm comfortable thing that spoke with Violet's voice. 

“I'm not kidding. You'd better get going if you want to beat the sun.” This Violet voiced thing was persistent. She hugged it tighter, willing it to let her sleep. Instead, it pulled away from her, and she felt comparatively cold, and opened her eyes. She came to the present, in Violet's room, not wearing pants. Violet was sitting in the chair, putting her pants back on.

“Oh shit, did I sleep here last night?” Clementine sat up suddenly, still groggy. 

“No, aliens transported you here just moments ago.” Violet said, “Yes, you slept here. You fell asleep like, ten seconds after you laid down. It was pretty cute.” She said with her tiny smile.

“I need to check on AJ.”

“Hey, he's going to be fine. What do you think is going to happen to him?” Violet's calm did nothing to calm Clementine, who rushed to put on her clothing. Violet felt a little perverted, watching her dress, and turned around to give the other girl privacy.

Up and bouncing across the room, Clementine was ready to face the world in seconds. Violet followed her to the door. Upon opening it, Clementine turned back to her and said, “Violet? Thanks.” and reached out to her. Violet felt herself pulled in to a heated kiss that surprised her. “Thanks for a first. And for not pushing me. Next time maybe push just a little.” she said bashfully, and set off for her own room. Violet watched her go, mesmerized.

The dawn was already broken, and Clementine was only just finishing girding Chopsie's saddle. She felt bad for the delay, and knew it was past time to get going. AJ waited, annoyed, by the gate. Ruby was in the watchtower and gave a wave as Clementine led Chopsie across the courtyard to them. Clementine waved back, and Ruby signaled an all clear. No walkers in sight. They could leave. This was it. She mounted, using her good foot in a stirrup and vaulting up with some difficulty. The other stirrup was replaced with a metal cap that fit her prosthetic foot, letting her balance her weight between the two when riding. 

She helped AJ into the saddle. They were squeezed together by the motion of Chopsie's gait, but it would have to be okay. If they needed a break, AJ could walk for a bit. They had the duffels tied to the back, empty, to fill with clothing, and any other supplies they could find. Clementine had her backpack on, with a store of dehydrated fruit and a canteen. She had one crutch wedged between the straps of her backpack. For emergencies, Clementine had explained. She expected she was going to use the crutch more than the prosthetic, ultimately, but the well meaning worriers wouldn't like to hear that. Her hip held one of their bows, where she could reach it without dismounting.

She also brought a small tent and fire starting supplies. Ideally she wouldn't be out long enough to use them, but everyone still alive in the world knew things went wrong as a rule. AJ held his gun in two hands, safety on. With everything accounted for, they departed. Clementine passed through the portal as if she was leaving one world and entering another. She had left some of her fear in Violet's bed, but not all of it. She gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes to the road ahead. She hadn't had time to get soft yet. She was still strong enough for this. It would be simple, a milk run. That's what she told herself.

The Bridge lay ahead. No walkers that she could see. The herd had moved on. There was no trace of Minnie or Tenn. The walkers they had killed still lay about, rotting in the sun. Violet had returned to retrieve the arrows Clementine had used in the battle there, but no one could be asked to move the bodies. They weren't bothering anyone anymore. When Violet had last returned, she had rigged up a makeshift bridge over the gap, and today they were going to test if a horse could cross it.

AJ slid easily to the ground, and strode forward, leading the way. He examined the gap, carefully checking for monsters. There were some walkers down the ridgeline, but they hadn't noticed them yet. He motioned for her to follow. She rode to the edge of the makeshift bridge. Essentially just a wooden plank reinforced with boards screwed into the back, and slotted into a gap on the far side. It could be withdrawn if being chased, but should stay in place long enough to cross. AJ went to lift it, to set it in place, but he couldn't lift more than one side at a time. Clementine dismounted and went to help him. Together, they were able to shift it into position, with some effort, owing to her relative lack of balance. Chopsie grazed behind them, ignoring their efforts. AJ looked frustrated, and Clementine could guess it was about needing help. She knew Violet had made the bridge piece, and had designed it so someone of her size and strength could move it. She also knew AJ was starting to become anxious to be big, and hated being reminded he wasn't.

The nearby walkers were getting closer. Attracted by their scent, or the noise they made, whichever, they crossed the plank, leading Chopsie carefully. Chopsie didn't want to walk over the narrow plank, and resisted being pulled. Seeing the walkers begin to close in earnest, Clementine started yanking the reigns, digging in at the far end. This action just made Chopsie become more insistent.

“Come on you big dummy, it's perfectly safe over here.” She said. AJ drew his gun and trained it on the walkers

“I can't shoot them. It'll spook Chopsie, and he'll run the wrong way.” he said, but kept the gun trained steadily.

“I promise I'll give you a nice apple if you get your fat butt OVER HERE!” Clementine yelled, and tugged with all her might. Chopsie whinnied and gave a short jump forward, clattering across the makeshift bridge, but also knocking it askew. He was safely on the far side with them, but now the bridge was all but dangling.

Clementine fell to her knees and gripped it, trying to pull it up before it fell into the ravine. Behind her, the horse was whinnying continuously. Clementine spared a look back and saw a walker, crawling towards them. It must have emerged from underneath the truck parked across the bridge. 

“AJ!” she called. An instant later, he had driven his small knife into its eye. Thank god he had her back. She heaved, and the bridge was withdrawn to safety, on their side of the gap. She flopped onto her back, breathing a sigh of relief. Her first close-ish encounter with the dead, and she had survived. The walkers milled on the far side of the gap, reaching out, but aware enough apparently that they wouldn't plunge to their deaths trying to walk off the edge.

“Come on AJ, we should go before they attract more.” The pair set out, now in unfamiliar territory. Clementine rode, while AJ led. Clementine retrieved the map, and examined the place Louis had said there was a ski lodge. It had been a mess of back roads, and she couldn't tell where exactly their destination was.

“We need to find higher ground.” Clementine said. “It's going to be on the side of a mountain.”

“How do you know that?” AJ asked,

“Well, it's a ski lodge.” she answered, confused. After riding in silence for another minute after, she realized her mistake.

“A ski lodge is a kind of house for people who are going skiing. Skiing is something people did before, where you slide downhill in the snow by attaching flat sticks to your feet. It gets cold in the snow, so they used to build buildings right around where you'd do it, so you can warm up after.”

“Sounds weird.” He said, Clementine frowned.

“Before, people had a lot more ways to have fun. Everything wasn't so dangerous all the time, so we occupied ourselves with all kinds of fun hobbies. Like your drawing. But there were all kinds of stuff like that. Skiing was one of them.”

“Oh.” he said, clearly thinking.

A small rural path split from the cracked asphalt to their left. AJ drew up, asking if it was their destination. Clementine consulted the map and shook her head. They continued on, down the narrow highway. It was past noon when she directed them to climb a steep hill. She saw where a large sign used to be. If it directed people towards the ski lodge, this is where it would have asked the drivers to turn. She looked for a long time at the sign. If it was taken down, there might be survivors, looking to avoid notice. 

“AJ.” she said. He was riding again, now that they knew where they were going. “Listen, I'm guessing there's going to be survivors here. You know what I taught you about survivors?”

“Don't trust the living.” he replied, dutifully. 

“That's right. But, we also don't want to get off on the wrong foot with our neighbors if we can avoid it.”

“Don't shoot first.” AJ said simply. Clementine nodded, “Unless you have to.” she finished.

The two of them dismounted when they came within sight of the Lodge. They scampered off the path, and into the woods, secreting Chopsie away where it was safe. It was best to watch a new group from the outside before approaching, if you could. Clementine thought about that rule, and all the times things hadn't worked out in her dealings with a group. She had to admit, it had never really helped. All her best experiences with groups had come from blind luck, when she wasn't looking for anyone. 

The two spotted their lookout. An old man, with a very white beard over thin cheeks. He looked emaciated. He sat on a deck chair atop a small raised deck with a rifle held loosely in his hands. Below the deck were several equipment storage sheds. Clementine guessed they had been ransacked long ago, and the group that were surviving here were likely not storing anything useful in them, because they weren't secure enough. Not internal enough to their camp. The door to the lodge itself was upon the deck, and behind the lodge, out a back door, or possibly by climbing the hill around the side, was the skilift. 

The building itself was in an advanced state of disrepair. There were large, burned out sections of the roof. Several steps were missing from the stairs leading up to the deck, and all the windows were hastily boarded up with obvious salvaged wood. Clementine judged that the survivors here were probably hanging on by a thread. She gritted her teeth. That was the absolute worst case for them.

“What do you see, Clem?” AJ was hidden behind her, not risking both being in view. Clementine turned back and retreated to his position.

“Not good. Looks like some survivors have set up here, and not that long ago. The place is ruined, so they've got to be desperate, and their lookout is probably starving, but he has a gun.”

“Sounds like they're dangerous. Should we leave?” Clementine thought about it seriously. Getting a few sets of warm clothing was definitely of some importance, but it wasn't life-or-death. And she could easily say that the day was a partial success, having scouted out a potential threat to keep an eye on, even if she didn't actually find any clothing. She turned to tell AJ that he was right, that they should go, when the two of them heard a gun cocking.

“Hands where I can see them, kiddos, don't try anything.” A woman with grey hair in camo was standing behind them, at about twenty paces, holding the biggest revolver Clementine had ever seen. They had been spotted. Next to her was a youth of about fourteen, in a faded orange letterman jacket. He reminded Clementine of Ben, probably because of the jacket.

Clementine raised her hands, as did AJ, although she could still feel AJ's killer instinct,

“We're not here to hurt you. We were just looking for salvage. We were just about to go, since you're clearly set up here.” She said slowly and carefully. She didn't know what was going to happen next

“Go? You're not going anywhere. We're not going to let you report back to your friends. Who are you with?” She grunted out the last part threateningly, brandishing her gun harder.

“We're not with anyone. We live in a small, remote community. We're just scavenging for the winter. We can trade, we have food...” the young man next to her looked with surprise and hope at that mention.

“We're not going to fall for that, you cretins. I'm sure we'll find a way to loosen your tongues. Chad, take their weapons. We're inviting our nice guests in.” AJ looked to Clementine for guidance. The woman's revolver could probably kill them and a bear standing behind them with one shot, and her grip was steady. She nodded to AJ, “Give them your weapon.” and she unlimbered her bow and knife, handing them to the boy, Chad. In the moment she handed it over she said quickly and quietly, “We really do have food.” 

“Hey! Get their things and come back here. Don't listen to them.” 

“Yes Aunt Amy.”

“Alright you two,” she gestured toward the lodge, “Now, walk.”

Clementine and AJ went along with them. They were in trouble, but in that moment, Clementine almost felt sorry for them. The woman, Amy, was probably living the only way she knew how now in this world, with aggression and paranoia. Clementine could tell she was going to kill Amy, and that truth settled onto her skin like the cold before a storm. And the worst part was that it could have been avoided. The kids at Castle Violet could have helped these people. They couldn't have fed a whole other group all winter, but they could have staved off starvation, and maybe worked together. 

They emerged into the clearing, where the cars of vacationers would have parked before going up the slopes. The old man half stood when he saw them coming, and settled when he saw Amy with the gun.

“Ey, Interlopers? They say who they're with?” the old man said, voice weak. 

“Not yet. I'm gonna get them inside and see what we can learn.” Amy replied. 

Clementine saw the stairs close up. Rotted, and missing steps.

“I can't get up stairs like this.” she pointed at her leg, “We're no threat, you really can just let us go.”

“Ah, got bit once did you? Well, you're going to climb these steps, or you're getting a bullet. Your choice sweetie.” There was no mirth or mercy in Amy's tone.

Clementine turned back to the stairs, feeling a little less bad about her desire to kill the older woman. She scrambled up, step by step, sometimes with AJ's help, sometimes by sheer force of will, but eventually, she was at the top, with the old man. He opened the door for her and Amy ushered them in from behind. 

Inside was about as bad as Clementine had thought it would be. Almost no light filtered in through the boarded windows, but she could make out a mostly scorched interior. Shelves and furniture was splintered, as if broken down for firewood piecemeal. Bloodstained bedding was scattered around. She guessed there were only four of them here, based on the bedding. They were led into a room that seemed like it had once been some sort of kitchen, with tile floors and metal counters. 

“Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time, who are you with?”

“Who do you think we're with that you're so afraid of?” Clementine asked. She didn't think she was going to convince the woman to let her not kill her, but it was worth a try.

“I'm the one asking questions here, and if you don't start answering them, you're going to find the end of my patience.” The older woman continued to gesture with her gun, but Clementine could see that she was growing more tired of holding it aloft. Clearly she was malnourished too.

“I told you before that I wasn't with anybody, and if you're not with anybody, maybe we have enemies in common? If there's someone out there chasing you, maybe I'd like to know about them, so I can run and hide too. We've lost people recently, we're prey for these bigger communities too.” Clementine subtly tried to distance herself from AJ, so she'd have to hold the gun at wider angles to cover both of them.

“You told Chad that you had food. Do you have any with you?” the question betrayed her need.

“Just some dried wild apples, but you're welcome to them.” And she made to reach into her bag.

“Wait! Chad, retrieve them.” the woman said shrewdly. 

She held out the bag for him, “There are no weapons. You can trust me. We can help you survive out here. We've been doing well for a long time. I can tell you've just set up here. Are you running from someone?”

“Shut UP!” Amy practically spit at her. Chad looked conflicted, retrieving the few morsels of dried apple, and noticing she hadn't been lying about not having any weapons.

Clementine almost had the other woman in the perfect position. AJ was almost a quarter turn away. She just had to time it right. And, she needed to know it really was her life or Amy's.

“You don't want to do this. Our friends know where we are, and expect us back at a specific time. If we're late, they'll send people after us, and assume the worst. Let us go. You can keep our things. I don't want you to die.”

“You really don't know what position you're in do you? I've got a gun.”

“So does he.” Clementine said with a smirk toward AJ. The gun traveled in an arc. Clementine brought her heavy wooden prosthetic leg around in a powerful kick at the older woman's knee.

Practiced against walkers, the maneuver was just as good against living foes. She crumpled down and backwards, and the enormous gun went off into the ceiling above them. The gunshot was so loud, and they were in such a closed off room that the sound momentarily stunned her. When she realized where she was, AJ was wrestling with the gun arm, and with Chad. Clementine went for her knife, which was in Chad's belt. He twisted at her presence, and the four were in a tangle. 

Clementine abandoned her attempt to retrieve her knife and instead lifted AJ's shiv from its hiding place in his back pocket. She stabbed Chad quickly in the back of his hand, freeing AJ as he recoiled, and then, as Amy began to recover, and overpower the five year old boy, forcing the barrel of the gun closer to his face, Clementine buried the shiv in her throat.

The fight went out of her, and AJ had the gun. She clutched desperately at her throat, looking wildly to the two children who had killed her. The woman was going to die, and then turn. She had about a minute, maybe less. She looked at Chad, who was horrified, and bleeding, backing away by sliding on the floor. 

“I'm sorry Chad. I think you know I had to do that, but I also know you're not going to forgive me anyway.” She walked towards him,

“Oh my god. Oh my god. You killed her.”

“Yes. And it was her or me. She wasn't going to let me leave here alive.” She held her hands out in a gesture towards being nonthreatening, but she still had the shiv in her hand. Chad swallowed.

“Are you going to kill me?” He asked. Clementine was quiet. “No, of course not. You're how we get out of this alive.” and she grabbed him, pulled him close to her, and put the bloody shiv to his throat just as the door slammed open and the old man with the rifle stood there. 

“What the fuck is happening, Oh, my god, my Amy!” he said as he saw the bloody mess of his wife. “You fucking bitch! I'll kill you!” Clementine held the boy as a shield in front of her, and AJ behind her.

“She was going to kill me, and I'll kill your nephew here if you don't let me go.”

He paused,

“You might kill me too, but then what would Amy say when you meet her in the afterlife?” Clementine continued in a conciliatory tone. He advanced into the room.

“Uncle Jas, please, let them go. I don't want to die.” Chad was almost blubbering. AJ nudged her. She saw. Any second now.

“I really don't want anyone else to die today, Jas. I really did just want to leave you alone here.”

Tears welled in Jas' eyes. Clementine was nearly sure he would have put down his gun in another five seconds. If he had done it earlier, she would have warned him.

The walker who had been Amy just seconds earlier grabbed him by the shin, pulling herself forward to sink her teeth into his calf. He cried out in shock more than pain at first, but he wheeled around, lost his balance and collapsed. Clementine nodded to AJ. He stepped out from behind her legs, and let the cannon he had stolen ring out. Ready for it this time, Clementine kept her wits, but the shot was so powerful, it knocked AJ clean off his feet, and what had once been Amy's head was just gone.

Jas, half buried under dead flesh, bit, and sobbing was immobile. Clementine relieved Chad of her knife and cast him aside. She kicked the man's rifle out of his reach. He looked up at her with empty eyes.

“Are you going to kill me?” He asked. She looked with a great deal of sympathy at him.

“Only if you want me to.” She sighed slowly. “You're bit, you're going to turn. But we can stop that if we cut it off. It happened to me. It's not easy, and you're going to need a lot of help from this point on, but you can live to see another day, if you just listen to me.”

He covered his face with his hands. He looked at Chad, standing to one side.

“Just end it.” he said, “I'm in no shape to protect these kids, let alone without a leg. Amy was the one keeping us alive. Just please, protect them.”

“You don't have to give up. Jas, you're looking at proof that losing a leg isn't the end. We really can help you, even still.” Clementine had no idea why she was fighting so hard for this. It would be simpler just to end it now. He would be gone, never bother them again. She could send Chad and whoever else was with them here on their way with a 'goodbye and good luck'. She just felt that there was a moment she was in Jas' spot, and in that moment, needed AJ to make the decision for her.

She turned to Chad. “Do you have an axe? AJ start a fire.”

Chad scrambled from the room, AJ gave her a condescending look. “He said to end it.”

“Yeah, goofball, so did I.”

“You said to leave you behind, you decided you wanted to live. He didn't.”

“Just listen to me, AJ, build a fire. We're going to need to cauterize his leg.”

The boy did as she asked.

The old man, Jas, wouldn't make it. Too weak from hunger, the amputation had taken his life. Clementine leaned over the railing, looking at the sun beginning to set. AJ had recovered several skiing outfits and was loading them into Chopsie's duffels. The other two survivors here, the boy Chad and his younger sister, named Sarah were sitting on the deck chair together, watching the two of them move about. Clementine finished wiping the blood off her hands on a torn piece of curtain, and let it go off the side.

“Okay kids, listen up.” Clementine cleared her throat. “As much as I'd like to take you back to our group, I can't trust you, for obvious reasons.”

The two kids were sullen faced and silent.

“I would expect you to justifiably kill me in my sleep after what happened here today, so here's what I propose instead: We leave our food with you now, and we promise to come back in a few days, and try to teach you how to survive on your own here.”

“The other option is we give you a map, and point you toward a settlement that might take you in. I know this sounds dangerous, but I think it's the best option you have. I knew the guy in charge there once upon a time, and he'll let you in if you tell them Clementine sent you.”

The boy just looked away, angry and sad.

“I know what you're going through. When I was only 9 years old, my guardian died. I had to make it on my own after that. I remember how scary it was, but he taught me how to survive, and my path has led me to such good places since then. I want you two to survive.”

The boy turned fully away, but Sarah, a girl only about 9 or 10 years old herself, brown hair long and loose about her head, walked up to Clementine and offered her open hand and a steady gaze. Clementine placed their map in the open hand with a grateful smile.

“Your name is Sarah right? I knew a Sarah once.” She dismissed the thought as quick as it came before she remembered too much. “The city is called Richmond, and we're kinda lucky, because this road here, leads most of the way there if you turn right, and then here, follow the signs.” She went over the route to the girl, who she suspected was pretty bright. She wished suddenly she could open their doors to these kids, but also knew it was a bad idea. Vengeful, and freshly so, and all the people that could get hurt if they were let in, even inadvertently. 

“Hey, your hair.” She pointed, “It's pretty long. Someone could grab it pretty easily. You'll want to cut that short.” She touched her own hair for emphasis, and felt like it was longer than she expected. She needed a haircut too. The sun was going down. They were going to be back very late.

“You'll want to sleep here, until dawn. It'll be too dark to navigate, and too cold. Our food should last you a day or so, if you're careful. You'll make it, with any luck, and you'll be safe.”

Neither child said anything, and Clementine knew it was time to leave. She and AJ took the revolver, but left the rifle with the two kids. They would need a way to defend themselves on the road. Clementine and AJ left, plodding down the steep hill away from the lodge, having succeeded at their goal, but neither feeling particularly good about themselves either.

It was almost a full hour on the road before AJ's expected question arrived.

“Why did you try to save that man, Clem?” 

Grateful for the time to think about it ahead of time, she said, “I think because I just lost my leg, and while I would have thought I would be half alive without a whole body, I've found I'm pretty happy every day like this. It's not always easy, it's not always just the same as it used to be, but if you had told me I would miss it as little as I do, I wouldn't have believed you.”

“But that's because of your peg leg. We couldn't have made a copy for Jas.” 

“Let me tell you a secret AJ, the leg isn't nearly as good as the crutches. And besides, why not? We've made one. Heck, I'll probably outgrow this one when I hit another growth spurt.”

AJ chuckled, “You're done growing, Clem. You're going to always be a shorty.”

“Who's a shorty ya little goofball?” She asked, putting her hand on the top of his head and pushing down, playfully. They laughed together. Chopsie snorted, annoyed at the movement of his riders.

“If we didn't save him, and we could have, does that mean we murdered him?”

“We did everything we could, AJ. I almost died when you took my leg too. I just got luckier than he did.”

“I mean, if he had survived. And we needed to give him food for the whole winter, and make him a peg leg, and give them weapons. When do their deaths stop being our fault?”

Clementine paused. AJ could really ask the difficult questions. He was such a smart kid, and she had no idea where he got it from. She herself was always pretty practical, and less cerebral. She tried to do what was right though, and she just wondered what had inspired AJ to ask what was right, and why it was that way.

“I don't know. I guess it's always going to be our fault, just a little.” She knew that AJ was going to take that to mean they had murdered the two children as well, “But we still have to make choices, and every choice has consequences. We don't always know what they'll be, but we must make them with some idea of why we're doing them.”

“Is that why you let Lilly live? Because you have a rule, that murder shouldn't be done, and killing people who aren't a threat anymore is murder?”

“I guess, I didn't really think about it that way.”

“But you were wrong. Lilly killed James after that. She was still a threat. She's probably still a threat right now. That means killing her wouldn't be murder.”

“Yeah, but if we had killed her, we would never have known she wasn't sincere. We had to make the best choice we could, with what we thought we knew. We were wrong, but if we had killed Lilly, and never found out we were wrong, it would have still been murder.” She paused, collecting her thoughts, “For Jas, I knew that a leg amputation can be survived. I assumed Jas was unaware, and not in a clear state of mind to make the best decision for himself, and made the best choice I thought I had. I was wrong, but still, to choose to do the opposite would have still been wrong.”

AJ was silent. “I'll think about it.” he said with some finality.

It was full dark by the time they were at the bridge. She considered offering to camp here for the night, but having skipped lunch and their dinner by giving it away, they were both eager to return to the school. 

They picked their way through the dark carefully, leading Chopsie now, because of a fear of a stone or treebranch turning his foot. Clementine herself needed to rest often, even with her crutch. She was starting to regret her decision not to camp out when she saw a light up ahead. Without time to scramble off the road with Chopsie, AJ and Clementine drew their guns, and held them ready. There was no way to know if this other group were friendly. Clementine was fairly sure she wasn't strong enough by half to handle the massive revolver, but it looked intimidating in her hands.

Breaking the tree cover and coming around a bend, It was Violet and Omar, carrying torches. Clementine gasped in relief.

“What are you doing out here?” She said, putting her gun away.

“Looking for you. What did you expect? We leave you out here?” She approached close enough to smile, taking the edge off her sarcasm.

“Uh, I guess. Why else would you have sent me with a tent?”

“She waited until the second you were expected back, and practically dragged me after her.” Omar shook his head, “Damn crazy kids in love.” The two girls blushed at that, not meeting each other's eyes. They hadn't said it yet, and right now was maybe the worst time to talk about it.

“Let's get you back to Ericson's.”

“Uh, excuse me, to Castle Violet I think you mean.” Clementine ribbed Violet playfully.

“Omar?” AJ asked suddenly in a serious voice. Everyone turned to him.

“Can you make us something to eat when we get there. We're hungry.”

“Sure kid. I think we left over some veggies. I can make a nice salad.”

AJ looked a little disappointed, but everyone laughed as they made their way back to the safety of the walls. Clementine wasn't looking forward to admitting what had happened. She knew they understood the need to defend one's self, but she wondered if there was some number of people she had killed, past which the stain on her soul would be too great for Violet to love her. In the dark, she looked ahead to her silhouette, lit by the torch she held, and wondered.

AJ paid attention to Clementine's retelling of the events of that day, but only passively. He was focused on his meal of bland shaved roots and tossed greens. It wasn't as hearty as rabbit stew, and he had to constantly remind himself to continue eating, even though he was hungry. He saw Clementine had no trouble eating it, and sought to emulate her.

When Clementine recounted the fight, AJ was made to pay attention again. 

“So she came at me with a knife, but in the confusion, somehow it ended up stabbing her... the man came in with his gun, and we had to shoot him. We tried to apply first aid, but they both died anyway. We had to kill them when they came back.”

He knew that wasn't true, and he wanted to correct her right away. Lying was bad. She had taught him that. He knew better than to confront her about it right there. The two of them had played out lies with other groups before, but this felt different. He and Clementine weren't a group against the world, they were two members of this group. The reasons why he wasn't supposed to lie to Clementine all applied to her not lying to the rest of the Castle Violet kids. Clementine was finished with her recounting of their journey, and hefted the duffels.

“I think it's time we got to bed.” Clementine said, “It's been a long day.”

Violet accompanied them to their door, where she and Clementine exchanged an awkward half hug, as Violet clearly had some expectation besides a simple 'goodnight', AJ knew that Clementine had slipped out the previous night. He didn't know what the significance was, and he oddly felt like he shouldn't be paying attention, so he dutifully went into their room and busied himself with unpacking the ski outfits set aside for the two of them, taking care to be noisy enough that Clementine and Violet would know they could talk in privacy.

A moment later, Clementine entered the room and gave a long, lingering sigh as she sat on her bed, unbuckled the prosthetic foot, and stretched out. AJ turned to her, looking at his hands, which were folded in front of his abdomen.

“Clem? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure kiddo. You can always talk to me.”

“Why did you lie about the fight? You made it sound like we killed those people on accident.”

Clementine sat up again, “It wasn't really a lie. I said that we killed them in self defense, and that's what we did. I just... told a version that couldn't be mistaken for us being the attackers.” She ran a hand through her hair nervously. 

“You were there, you knew we were a few seconds away from being killed, but if I told the group that we tricked them into attacking us, then let Jas get bitten when we could have stopped it, and used Chad as a human shield, we'd have to answer questions like, “Couldn't you have reasoned with them.” or “Isn't that kind of cold hearted and evil?”, so I just gave a version of events where those questions couldn't really be asked.”

“So you want to hide something from the others so they don't think less of you? So there's no distance between you?”

“Yeah, I guess. We're already kind of the remorseless killers of the group. Reinforce that too much and we're going to be outcast. This is a peaceful group. I want it to remain that way.”

AJ walked dejectedly to his bed. 

“I think that there is a distance between you anyway. I just think it's because you're hiding something from them now. Violet can tell. She just doesn't know what.” and he laid on the bed and rolled away so she saw his back.

“Kiddo... whatever you heard, it's not...”

“I'm done talking tonight. Sleep well.” And he hunched his shoulders. Mad as hell, but unwilling to move. He thought about patrolling, but knew Clementine would insist he stay and talk more if he tried. Neither of the two slept well that night.

The next day was frightfully normal again. No one specifically said any one thing to make Clementine feel like she should stay within the walls, but that was the impression she had. She was frustrated with herself as she climbed the watchtower to start her double length watch shift. She didn't insist she could chop wood just fine. She blew at the curly hair threatening to droop into her eyeline. On the bright side, within the walls no one was insisting she wear her prosthetic foot.

She glumly watched Violet and Louis' retreating forms through the binoculars as they headed towards the river, signing to each other. She caught a few words here and there, joking about someone being embarrassed about something. She was pretty sure it was about Aasim and Ruby, but her talk with AJ the previous night had made her paranoid about her cover story. Maybe they were talking about how they could tell she was lying? No, she said to herself. They wouldn't be joking about that, even if they suspected something. She groaned, maybe the little guy was right.

She felt someone begin to climb the watchtower behind her. She looked to see Omar appear. She felt weird, but she had so far not had much of an interaction with Omar. She wondered why he was here, and having no idea made her feel like she hadn't taken the time to get to know him well enough. She simply nodded in greeting, and he nodded back. He came to sit beside her, dangling his legs off the far side with her.

“Hey.” She said, “Hey.” he said back. 

“I think Ruby has the next shift, and it won't be for like, six hours.”

“I don't have anything to do right now anyway. I'm actually here to talk to you.”

Clementine's heart skipped a beat, did he know she was lying?

“Yeah, what about?” Her voice wavered only a little.

“You keep taking this extra watch shift, but you really don't need to. You do all kinds of stuff for the group. Just because you're not chopping wood or checking the traps. You're our leader. That's a full time job. And you need to read and rest, and strategize.” Omar peeled a splinter off the watchtower railing as he spoke.

“I don't know if Aasim would agree with that after a full day chopping wood.” She said lightly, pretending to look through the binoculars so she didn't have to show her reaction.

“Yeah, but it's up to you now when we've got enough wood stored that he can take a day off. That's a decision that needs to be made. He can't chop wood every day, and we can't run out.” 

“I think he's fully capable of making that decision for himself.” 

“Okay, maybe, but what if Aasim dies, and the next guy who has to chop wood doesn't know as well how much wood we need? That person might need your guidance there.”

Clementine didn't want to think about that, but he made a good point.

“I also think that you're too worried about what everyone else thinks about your disability. You're letting people hem you in. Tell you what you aren't able to do. I think you deserve to find out for yourself what you can't do. Everyone told you that you couldn't go on the expedition to the ski lodge, but you knew you could do it. Everyone's telling you that you can't chop wood, or go fishing, or any other tasks, and you don't already know you can do it, so you're not insisting.”

“So which is it? should I be reading and strategizing and leaving the hard work to you, or doing as much labor as I can?”

Omar shrugged exaggeratedly, “I dunno, you're the boss. Did you ever play chess? Before the world fell apart?” she shook her head, “Well, in Chess, there's a piece called the Queen. It's the most powerful piece, but because every time it's used, it can expose itself to being captured, a lot of intermediate players hesitate to use the queen at all until they absolutely have to. Expert players know exactly how to balance the Queen's power with her vulnerability. You're the Queen of Castle Violet, and you need to figure out how to be an expert player, and use yourself in the best way you can.” and without any further explanation, he got up to leave. Clementine watched him go, still feeling like a stranger to Omar, but maybe because he was just strange.

Clementine had a lot to think about during her watch, and she struggled to maintain a firm focus on watching for disturbances in the surrounding forest. She realized her issues revolved around what her role really was as leader. What did that word mean to this group of survivors. Clementine was resolved to not becoming like Carver, turning his group into his own private army, brutally suppressing dissidence, or like the New Frontier, dominating other groups through threat of force.

But was her decision to go on the mission to the Ski lodge herself, alone with AJ, an attempt to take on that potential brutality herself? She resisted sending Louis in part because she was concerned he would be too frightened to effectively defend himself. That in itself seemed to mean she had expected violence before she even left Castle Violet. Was her lie to the rest of them an attempt to remove their complicity in her decision toward brutality? Was it an inevitability that contact with other groups meant violence between them? And if so, did that mean every group was somewhere on the timeline of a Carver?

She saw Violet returning, bucket of fish at her side. Louis sporting two rabbits. They were chatting back and forth, but Clementine focused on Violet's face. Clementine loved the contours of her face. She loved them in a way because at one point she hadn't loved them. Some might say that her chin was too pointed, cheekbones too prominent, that her perpetual hunch made her seem standoffish. Clementine herself had gone around and around a bit in their first days together on whether they liked each other or not, and had witnessed her own attraction to the other girl waxing and waning and waxing again depending on whether they were getting along or not. Right this second, she seemed so beautiful, and Clementine couldn't imagine that changing ever again.

It was that more than anything that resolved her to tell them the truth. If she was leader, she was going to lead from among them. She wasn't going to stand in their way like a shield, or over them as a lord. When Violet and Louis arrived at the gates, she let them know they would have a group meeting tonight after dinner, and to let everyone know.

One rabbit set aside for jerky, one for the stew, four fish, and a fresh bunch of foraged roots made a satisfying meal, with more set aside for winter stores. Clementine felt like they were on track. She just hoped those facts would strengthen faith in her in anticipation of the meeting she called. 

The group was starting to lick their bowls clean of stew, talk was getting looser, and people were starting to sit back, or move around the tables. It was time. Nerves stalled her calling attention to herself. It was a moment of weakness she hadn't anticipated. She was more scared now than she had been looking down a barrel. Just speaking enough to call the meeting was making her feel sick. Finally, she gripped her fist and thought, “What would Lee do?”. He had admitted he had been a murderer in the time before the world ended, and done so without fear, in front of the group that might have sided against him. His confidence, his candor, had dissolved the issue. If she, Clementine couldn't do it, she could pretend she was Lee, and he could do it for her. She used her fingertips to help balance as she stood in the picnic table bench without her crutches, clearing her throat.

“Excuse me. Before we break up for the night, I'd like to call everyone's attention to some things I have to say. Everyone deserves to hear this, and I'd like to hear what everyone has to say in response.” She felt like that was overly formal, but formality was her armor right now. It stopped her from downplaying this like it was no big deal. Once she saw she had everyone's eyes, she continued, trying to ignore what she must look like.

“Yesterday, I returned from the Ski Lodge. A lot of you were hesitant for me to put myself, AJ, and Chopsie at risk because of my disability. At the time, I judged that I was the best person for the task, and overruled some objections. Upon my return, I described a specific sequence of events that were not completely true.” She said, haltingly at first, then finding her rhythm. She allowed a moment for her words to sink in. No cries for her deposition or beheading yet, a good start.

“At AJ's urging, I've decided to tell you the true events of that day, but I also want to let you know what the real version of events revealed to me about my true motives for nominating myself for the task.” She felt like she had gotten too dramatic with that last bit, and looked to Violet, who gave her an encouraging nod.

“What I told you last night was true until the moment we entered the lodge with the woman, Amy. AJ and I immediately began working together to prevent her from easily covering both of us. We'd done it before and fooled her into tiring out her gun arm. I tried to calm her down and talk her into letting us go, but when she continued to declare us dangerous outsiders, and a threat to her, I deliberately tricked her so that I could attack her. I said last night that she attacked me with a knife during our conversation, but in fact I hit her from behind. I said before that the knife ended up stabbing her instead of me in the struggle, but actually, I stabbed her while AJ had her distracted. Her death wasn't an accident. I killed her in cold blood.”

There was a quiet murmur. People were gasping or mumbling to themselves, but not yet calling for blood.

“The old man, Jas, also died differently than I explained last night, but it's mostly incidental. I tricked him too, but I really was trying to save his life when he died. He wanted me to end it before he actually died, so he wouldn't turn. I didn't do that because I thought I could still save his life. Maybe I felt bad about having killed Amy, I don't know. If you want to know exactly how that happened, I'm happy to tell you, but my big lie last night was about Amy's death. That's what I feel the most need to come clean to you about.” She was silent for a moment after her speech. Feeling suddenly very nervous again, “Any questions?”

There was a silence in the group, then Omar asked, “Why didn't AJ correct you as soon as you told this fib?” Clementine felt a little uncomfortable about that. She wanted to be the one on trial here, not AJ. He was the one responsible for her change of heart. It seemed unfair to her that he might be implicated in her attempt to come clean, and she really hadn't thought of that. “Uh, AJ? Why don't you tell him?” AJ shuffled forward, looking askance and worried. He looked again to Clementine for assurance, and she nodded again, kindly and firmly.

“I was doing what Clem and I did in the Lodge. We worked together to keep someone from covering us. I was helping her lie, because we've been partners lying to other groups before.” Clementine wasn't sure whether to hug him for his honesty, or curse him for maybe oversharing a little more than he needed to, strictly speaking.

“Wait a minute, do you two still think of yourselves as a group of two? Are we a group you're conning?” Aasim said, angrily, but clearly more startled at the revelation.

“No, I felt really bad about it, even though I was just staying quiet. I know never to lie to Clem, and it felt just the same lying to you all.” he looked like he was going to start crying, and Clementine couldn't watch that happen.

“He told me to confess that night. It was the first thing he said to me after we got back to our room.” She interjected, “I'm only telling you all about this now because of him.”

“But would he have come to us, if you had insisted on keeping the truth to yourself?”

AJ was actively sniveling now, and Clementine was about to go to him when Ruby got up first and crossed to the boy, “Leave the poor boy alone Omar, he's being so brave right now.” she comforted him and said, “Let's go see the Bell Tower House. Vi has been making some changes to it, you should be able to climb it safely now.” and herded the boy away. Clementine would be grateful to Ruby until the day she died for that one moment, she knew. Omar just shrugged, and tried to look innocent.

“Alright. Are there any questions for me?” Clementine said, voice on edge.

“Yeah, I've got one.” Violet said, voice like fine gravel, “When did you first think you were going to kill people in the ski lodge.”

Clementine didn't want to answer that question. She most of all didn't want Violet to have been the one asking it. She knew the answer she had to give. She could have answered when she knew she would be killing Amy, after she had ordered they walk ahead of her at gunpoint. She could have answered when she thought there were survivors in the lodge, and that violence could result if she prodded further, which was at the base of the hill, just off the main road. Slightly less innocent, but probably fine. No, she knew that the first moment she thought she would be killing survivors in the Lodge, and she had to answer honestly, or lose Violet forever, probably.

“As soon as I decided to go.” There was the outburst she had been expecting.

“Jesus Christ.” Violet said, her face was screwed up in disgust.

“Haha, what the fuck?” Willy sounded more incredulous than upset.

“What? Why?” Louis said, clearly wishing he could articulate more with his limited knowledge of ASL, or maybe knowing Clementine and the rest of the group wouldn't understand if he did.

“I'm sorry. I know that sounds bad. I didn't want to kill people there, I just thought, if there were survivors, I might have to kill them. It's just part of the equation sometimes. It's what made me decide it had to be me who went.”

“What, you knew none of us would kill the people there for a few scraps of clothing, so you had to go, in case some innocent person stood in your way?” Aasim jumped in again.

“No! Well, kinda. But listen.” Clementine took a deep, shaky breath, “I've been on the road a long time. I've seen some awful things that people who are desperate and on their own can do to other survivors. One of the lessons I taught AJ on the road was 'walkers are dangerous, but never trust the living', I didn't set out thinking I was going to kill the people there, but I knew, as soon as we were captured, it was them or us. I knew, when I set out, that it would be us.”

“So you took that on yourselves to spare us?” Violet looked even more angry than before. Clementine was starting to think she had already lost her, and tried to stop from tearing up and just press forward.

“I took it upon myself because I learned by being lucky a dozen times. I've learned by other people dying in my place when it should have been me. AJ told you, we've tricked people pointing guns at us before, and AJ was born after I had survived almost two years of adult after adult dying to save me.” Clementine felt like she was about to break down too, shaking at the knees, heart beating a mile a minute, hot tears threatening to fall. She knew she must look ridiculous. Their fearless leader, crying about all the mentors she'd lost.

“Hey, whoa, we're not saying.” Violet looked less angry now, but Omar spoke over her, “Do you think anyone else in this group would have walked out of that Lodge, in your shoes, if they got in that far?” Omar was looking at her with a firm, steady gaze, and it helped to ground her. 

“No. Any of you would have died there.” Clementine answered, firmly. That, she was confident in.

“And you know there was nothing you could have reasonably done to prevent either death you caused, without abandoning the scouting mission before even leaving?” He asked again, clearly leading the conversation. 

“No. I did everything I could think of to talk my way out of it.”

“And here's my last question. Can you teach us to have your skills, so you're not putting yourself out there any time you think a life is on the line? Because guess what? Our lives are always on the line.” Clementine almost smiled in relief at his question. 

“Yes. I think I can.” No one else seemed to have any more questions. Clementine sat back down.

“I'm sorry everyone. I know I betrayed everyone's trust today, and I want to pledge to do better in the future. However, I want to offer an opportunity to vote on me as leader again. I want to know you still have confidence in me, and if not, I'm happy to serve as just an adviser, or in whatever capacity I can. I'll leave it up to Ruby to organize the vote, but for now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like some time alone.”

She mutely gathered her crutches, and made her way back to the dorm. Just inside, Violet caught up with her.

“Hey, I didn't mean anything back there when I said...” and Clementine stopped her,

“It's okay, really. I'm sorry, but I really do need to be alone right now. To cry.” she hiccupped a sob. “Talking about everyone who died, god. I forgot how many. Not just Lee, Omid, maybe Christa. Probably Christa. Luke, Nick, Walter... shit, what was his name, Paul? Pete? I don't even remember.”

Violet laid her hands on Clementine's shoulders, but Clementine gently shrugged them off, tempering her withdrawal with a smile.

“I'm sorry, I really just need some time. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

Violet sighed, looking a little frustrated, and pained, “Okay.” and turned to go, looking like she was wiping her face as she went. Clementine returned to her room and made good on her promise to Violet as she wept and wept.

Violet stalked off, stomping her boots and glaring at the other kids she passed on her way to the bell tower entrance. She wanted to smash something, and figured the best thing she could do was smash something productively. She picked up a few nails and held them between her lips, picked up a board and fitted it into place, hefted the hammer, hesitated, and threw the hammer across the room, spit out the nails and threw the board at her feet. Disappointed that nothing broke, she picked up the can of nails and hurled it after the hammer.

The crash it made, as the metal objects bounced and ricocheted off the stone wall was significantly more satisfying. Violet immediately regretted doing it, and looked around at the mess she had made. Nails were all over the poorly lit ground, and now she knew she had to gather them all, or someone could hurt themselves stepping on one. She sighed. There was nothing to do about it but to do it. She gingerly sank to her knees and began feeling around carefully, not wanting to catch the sharp end of anything while she worked.

She couldn't believe Clementine. She was so mad at her, and she couldn't even yell, or stomp, or scream, even. Clementine had deliberately planned an attack on a fellow group of survivors, and had the nerve to call it selfless? Who knows if they were a part of a bigger group? What happens if someone comes for revenge? What separates them from Delta if they're just going to come in to other people's territory and start killing for resources? Should they have just joined Delta? Is that the only way to survive in this world? Is everyone who ever becomes a leader just a Marlon in waiting? She felt a sharp prick in her palm, and jumped. Examining it closely, it seemed like she hadn't pierced skin, but she drew a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. She added the offending nail to her offhand, where she was collecting them.

Sure, she reasoned to herself, she believed Clementine when she said that once they were captured, she had no choice. That made sense. She remembered being captured by Delta, waiting for Clementine to regain consciousness. She remembered how helpless she felt when she was ordered dragged from her cell and... she looked at her offhand, with the nails overflowing now. Was that woman going to cut off her hand? She shuddered, glad AJ had stopped whatever had been about to happen on that occassion. It made sense to fight when cornered, and to hold nothing back. If she had killed Minnie the first chance she got, would Tenn still be alive? Would Clementine still have her foot?

She shook herself. It was impossible to know what could have happened. If she hadn't been sent to Ericson's, would she have died? Does that make her parents right to have sent her there? It was pointless to speculate on what ifs. Besides, she was supposed to be feeling mad at Clementine. It definitely didn't bother Violet that in concept, being locked in a room with a dangerous person, you can kill them to save yourself and not be a monster. What bothered her was that Clementine had decided there were probably survivors there before even going. She must have thought about all the supplies they could steal. She had been pretty happy with the supplies they had stolen during the Delta raid, and had been pretty happy with Willy's continued salvage of the dead on the beach.

She realized she didn't believe that. Clementine was so sweet, and kind. Lilly was still alive because she valued people, even people who she hated, and believed in not killing if she ever possibly could. She had given Abel food, seemingly willingly, out of the salvage from the train station. Knowing how used to dealing with armed opponents she was, Violet now realized Clementine could easily have overpowered Abel there. She was always tough, but she was also generous, and met a situation with exactly as much force as she needed to. No, Violet realized. She knew Clementine had done everything right at the Lodge, and she knew that without having to know anything more. She trusted Clementine. That uncomfortable realization led her grudgingly to admit the real reason she was so mad.

She could not protect Clementine.

She sat back on her haunches and stared at the narrow patch of sky visible from within the wrecked bell tower. It was too difficult to see from here, but she imagined she saw the fish. Clementine's constellation. If the chips were down, Clementine would survive, and Violet would die. Violet wondered when it would happen. In ten years? In ten days? How long would Clementine then go on without her? How long could they keep both getting lucky? She felt hot tears on her cheeks. Was this all love was in this world? Wondering how long you had with a person, and wondering how much they'd hurt when you are gone?

She couldn't even comfort Clementine. She had made her cry, and couldn't make it better. The image of her face, screwed up in turmoil, was all her eyes saw. Her explosive sob, before she could catch herself echoing in her ears. She forced herself to think about Clementine in her bed now, crying, and without comfort. She thought about it like you dig your tongue into a canker sore, hurting, consciously, and to no purpose. She returned to the task of clearing the nails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I missed posting this Friday because this Saturday was my Friday this week. I had to work, so I couldn't get it posted quite on time. It's also quite a bit longer than any of the previous three chapters, so editing it took a fair bit longer than it did previously. Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. I'll try not to be late again next week.


	5. Loneliness Politic

Clementine woke up early the following morning. She marveled at the crisp frost on the window, barely visible in the grey morning light. She noticed only Willy was around, attending the watch. Clementine approached Chopsie in his stables, and placed some oats in his feeding trough. James' barn had been stocked, they had found. It had plenty of dry goods for Chopsie. They wouldn't last forever, but for now, he was the best new addition to their team that they could ask for.

She looked idly across the courtyard at the dorm, where the election was to be held today. She wondered if she should be campaigning for her retention. If she should be shaking hands and making banners. She had the vaguest memories of politicians from before. Grey haired men in dark suits, smiling with white teeth, shaking hands and waving. She felt distaste at the idea of emulating them. Maybe if leadership required acting like that, she wasn't meant to be leader.

So she paced around the courtyard. Restless, but with no place to go. She decided to try splitting some kindling for a breakfast fire, just to get some energy out. She tried to ignore how volunteering to do some menial task could be seen by anyone as her trying to influence the vote, in exactly the way of those politicians of the time before. She tried not to think about it too much, as she placed the half-log on their splitting stump. After struggling to find a good way to swing the axe while standing normally, she finally cast aside her crutch and balanced on one foot. She used her whole body and managed a good chop, burying the blade deep in the raw wood, but without managing a split. She braced the log against her knee, and used leverage to free the axe. Aiming for the same point again, she brought the axe down again, but it skipped to the side and sprayed her in the face with bark. Spitting, she tried again, and managed a split. Triumphant, she shuffled to toss the freed kindling near the fire pit, and readied herself for another swing. 

“Hey,” Ruby said, announcing her presence from behind. Clementine took the whack, and the blade got stuck again, without chopping all the way through. Frustrated and aching from balancing on one foot, she retrieved her crutches and crossed to a bench for a rest.

“Hey,” she said, belatedly. “Just trying to chop some kindling. It's harder than it looks.” She said jokingly. Ruby looked at Clementine's missing foot, and then looked away.

“Yeah, uh, it sure is. Back in the day, I remember the wood my parents bought for camp fires was all cut in neat little logs that were the perfect size. It's hard to believe how much work it is to do that all by hand.”

“Yeah, I'll finish up after I take a break.”

“Oh, I'm happy to take over for you.” Ruby said it sweetly, but Clementine couldn't help but feel like it was being condescending. She had proven she could do it, and still she was protected. She was suddenly aware of a muffled banging going on from the direction of the bell tower.

“Do you hear that?” Clementine said,

“Uh, hear what?” Ruby said, suspiciously.

“That banging,” Clementine said matter-of-factly, with a look of annoyance at Ruby.

“Oh that? I think that's probably someone working on the greenhouse. It'll stay hotter longer into the winter if we seal it up. I think that's what that is.” Clementine felt like the banging would sound different if it was from the greenhouse, but just then, Louis joined them.

“Good morning ladies.” He said. “Staying out of trouble?”

“Always.” Clementine said back, feigning an innocent air. It felt weird to her to joke about that, and continued, “At least, this early I am.”

“Good morning to you too Louis. How is the *” Ruby said, Clementine blinked, she didn't recognize that sign. 

“Wait,” she said over Louis' reply, and she tried to recreate the sign. “What is *?”

Louis fingerspelled it out for her. “Piano”

“Something happened to the Piano?” Clementine asked.

“No no, don't worry. I'm just practicing new piano music.” Louis said. “Everyone is sick of that one song, I'm trying to lift our spirits.”

“If you could just tune the damn thing, that'd be nice.” Ruby cut in. They laughed. 

“Well, if you happen to know how to tune a piano, be my guest!” Louis said. 

Clementine was starting to feel like this wasn't really her conversation to be having. She felt the levity wasn't really comfortable for her to be a part of and excused herself.

“I'll see you after the vote, Ruby.”

Ruby waved goodbye and went back to talking with Louis. Clementine resolved to borrow back the ASL dictionary again. She felt embarrassed she wasn't keeping up with everyone's rate of learning. She realized she had nothing else to do right this second, and could easily ask Louis who had it, but in her moment of embarrassment, she didn't want anyone to know she wanted to work on that, and headed for the headmaster's office to bury herself in meaningless planning instead.

The ultimate result of the vote was six to one in favor of Clementine remaining leader. Clementine looked down at the solitary stone in the bucket corresponding to a 'no' response. Her eyes were unfocused, and try as she might, she could not help but wonder which of her comrades had lost faith in her. If it was over her actions at the ski lodge, who would object? She shook herself. It wasn't still unanimous, but it almost was. It didn't matter who it was that voted against her, she still had the confidence of the group, and had won that confidence once already. Still, she thought, it might have been better if there were two votes against her and not one, because now she wondered every time she looked in someone's eye if they were the one who wanted her not to be their leader anymore.

She hadn't seen Violet all day, she realized at dinner that night. She was looking through the ASL dictionary, which she had managed to screw up the courage to ask for only about a half hour ago. She had found the word for homosexual or gay, which was kind of explicit, and wanted to joke with her about it, when she didn't see her around. 

It made her worry suddenly that maybe she should have checked in on her sooner. Violet had looked pretty upset after she had rejected her in the hallway the previous night. Maybe Violet was mad at her, and waiting somewhere for her to come apologize. She leaned over and nudged Louis to get his attention.

“Hey Louis, where's Vi?” she asked. Louis answered too smoothly, “She's on her way, I just saw her in Admin.” Clementine frowned, she had been in the administration building most of the day, and hadn't seen her once. Something was going on. She returned to her bowl suspiciously.

A few minutes later, a jacketless Violet appeared, a sheen of sweat on her skin, in spite of the cold. Clementine watched her serve herself the last of the stew, and look for her. Realizing she had been seen, and Clementine's suspicious look, she trotted over to sit across from her, acting overly casual.

“Hey, uh... what's up?” she asked, sitting as if it were no big deal.

“Not cold, are you? It's like, 50 out here.” 

“Nah, it's bracing. Besides, I just got done moving a bunch of heavy stuff, so I can stand to cool off a bit, no big deal.”

“Really? Louis said he just saw you in the administration building.”

“Oh, sure, desks, cabinets. Making sure we're using our space the best way we can.” Clementine loved Violet, but she was a terrible liar. 

“Uh huh.” was all Clementine said, with one raised eyebrow. She might have probed deeper if she thought it was something serious, but it clearly wasn't. She kind of liked that they were all keeping some kind of secret from her. It felt like they were planning a surprise birthday party, or something like that. It felt fun, and pointlessly so. She grinned at her girlfriend, suddenly very happy.

“What?” Violet said, looking behind her, not knowing what Clementine was smiling about.

“Keep your secrets, I'm sure whatever it is, I'll love it.”

Violet relaxed, and smiled back. She was just reaching out, Clementine thought to grasp her hand, when Omar called from the watchtower,

“Clem! Violet! Come take a look at this.” 

The two exchanged a look and both rose. 

After ascending the tower, Clementine raised the binoculars to her face.

“What am I looking for?”

“Light. Between the trees. Near where the path meets the creek. 

She spotted it. It was faint, light reflecting on the trunks of trees that was possibly reflected from even further away. She handed the binoculars to Violet, “I see it, just there.” Violet took a moment, and then lowered the binoculars. “What do we think it is? Maybe someone with a flashlight? The light is kinda coming and going.” She said.

“I was thinking it might be a camp fire, just through the trees.” Omar replied.

“Who would be camping out in the middle of nowhere, right next to us?” Clementine said,  
“Maybe they don't know we're here? Or don't know if we're hostile or not, and want to get a look at us during the day?” Violet suggested after a pause.

“Okay, but wouldn't they build their camp further away? We could easily stumble across them this close. They can't know we're here.” 

“But there's nothing anywhere around here but us, and they'd have to be pretty far off the road to camp here... and there's walkers in these woods. Whoever's out there must be crazy, stupid, or looking for us.” Clementine said, with some confidence. “They just haven't found us yet, or they'd be more careful with their fire.”

“Okay,” Omar said, “So who would be looking for us? Delta?”

“No, they already know where we are. Maybe someone found the wrecked boat at the river, and is trying to follow the tracks we might have left? Violet suggested. Clementine thought about it for a minute. It's possible it was just a survivor, on their way from here to somewhere else, and would pass peacefully in the morning. Or they could be a scout, looking for places to raid.

“There's no way to tell, but there's going to be some chance they'll notice us in the night, or tomorrow when the sun comes up. Violet, take AJ and Louis with you and go see if they're dangerous. If there's only a few, invite them in. If they're dangerous, warn them that we're dangerous too, and come back. We can barricade if that's the case. I'll go get my leg, in case there's trouble.”

Violet held the large rifle unsteadily. She knew, on some level, how to operate firearms, but had never really had a lot of practice. She had fired a .22 rifle a few times as a child. It was hard to grow up in West Virginia without ever firing a gun even once, especially if you were a tomboy living in a trailer park. She shuddered, realizing the gun her parents used to teach her firearms safety was the one her grandmother had used to kill herself.

She locked that thought firmly out of her mind. It was mission time, and she might have to use this rifle here, which was certainly not a .22, to defend her friends from ravenous killers. Her grip tightened. Here, she could protect Clementine, even if just once.

She signed to her allies, quieter than speaking aloud, “Right here, Let me get a good look.” and she prepared to sneak closer to the fire. She used a tree as cover, hearing two voices talking quietly. She peeked carefully around the tree, seeing one guy with just a touch of grey in his beard, standing, and talking to someone sitting comfortably by the fire, with their back turned, silhouetted by the fire. Violet realized that the bearded guy was looking right in her direction, and could notice her at any moment, and hid again. 

She returned to the other two, and continued to speak with her hands.

“Two people, no weapons that I could see.”

“I can cover you, You could talk.” Louis said, hefting his rifle.

“No, I can cover you both better. I'll stay hidden here, you circle around, there.” AJ explained, before drawing his pistol. Louis looked noticeably nervous, but closed his eyes for a moment, and nodded.

Violet and Louis moved around to the side, approaching from the other group's flank. Violet considered laying down her rifle to seem less threatening, but decided not to. She nodded at Louis, and stood, striding into the light and announcing herself,

“Hello,” She said, not sure what to say in this situation. “Excuse us, but we saw your camp. We're not here to hurt you.”

The man with the graying beard half drew a handgun from behind his back, and froze when he saw their rifles, pointing it at the ground between them. The other figure was a young woman, who Violet was surprised to realize she recognized.

“Abby?” Violet said, half relieved, half annoyed. She definitely wasn't dangerous, but she hadn't expected to ever see the rude girl again, and wasn't exactly overjoyed to find she had been wrong.

“Violet!” She cried, leaping to her feet. “I knew I was close.”

“What's going on? Who is this?” Violet nodded towards the man, who had relaxed, and crossed his arms.

“Oh, he's a friend. We made it to Richmond, and it's just great. It's just as great as we heard. But when we told them about our journey, and how we met you, this guy really wanted to come up and meet you. He said that he was looking for someone about your age, and he thought he recognized one of your names.” She stopped blabbering for a microsecond when she saw Violet's eyes get wary, “Oh, don't worry, he's a super nice guy. He's basically entirely responsible for Richmond's success and-”

“Whoa, Abby, definitely going too far there. No one does anything alone.” the man said. “We're happy to see you. Abby knew you were around here somewhere, but this forest is pretty big, and you've got quite a walker problem for this far into the woods.”

“We have walls, and it's definitely too dangerous to sleep out here. You're welcome inside our walls for the night, but we're a big group, and dangerous, so I warn you against trying anything.” Violet said, “In the morning, we might ask that you move on, but that's really up to our leader.”

The two travelers nodded their acceptance, but Violet clearly saw them exchange excited glances. The older man reminded Violet of a little kid in some ways. An innocence, and exuberance to his nature made her think he was meant for another world. They buried their fire, hefted their packs, and allowed the other two to lead them. 

“AJ! You can come out now!” Violet called softly, careful to not be too loud. Abby and the man shared a look, and shrugged. AJ came stumbling out of the woods, looking suspiciously at the two newcomers. 

“Hey, little man, you're AJ?” the bearded man asked. AJ nodded, looking a little shy. It was easy to forget he was a child sometimes, and it was sometimes shocking how like a typical child he was in moments like this.

“I knew someone once who was looking after a kid named AJ. That kid would be about your age now. Do you know a Clementine?”

“Yeah, she's my,” he paused a moment, “friend. We protect each other.”

“Hot damn, I never thought I'd see Clementine again after we heard about what happened at McCarrol Ranch.” He said, clapping his hands once sharply, Violet was annoyed at the noise, but something stopped her from being mad at the man for making it. He was charming, in his own way. She couldn't help wanting to pry about Clementine's history.

“You knew Clementine? I thought she hadn't been in a group in a long time before she came here.” 

“Oh, she would absolutely insist she wasn't a part of my group either. Did she ever mention me? My name is Javier” When Violet shook her head, he didn't seem hurt at all and continued, “This was about three, four years ago? She saved my life three or five times while I was fighting the New Frontier. Oh man, I knew she wasn't dead. Nothing could kill that kid.”

Violet thought she heard a laugh from Abby, and looked back to her, maybe to ask what was so funny, but she and Louis were having their own conversation, and from the looks of things, Louis had a lot to say. She turned back to the man, who was walking beside her now.

“Sounds like you knew her pretty well. What was she like back then?”

“Stone cold. I saw her shoot a man in the head for conning her with faulty bullets. Uh... then again, maybe that was an accident.” He said with a laugh, “I have to say, I'm surprised she's with a group again. She seemed determined to make her way alone last I saw her.”

“Wait, she would have been, what, thirteen?” Violet said, “I knew she had been on the road a while, but I hadn't realized it was that long.”

The man started to reply, but they had arrived at the school.

“Ericson's Boarding School for Troubled Youths.” he read aloud, “Sounds like the perfect place for Clementine.”

“We don't call it that anymore.” AJ said with a smile. “Now it's Castle Violet.”

“Oh yeah? Cool name.” The two newcomers exchanged a look and Javier said, “Uh, why do you call it--”

“It's my name. I'm Violet.” She felt herself color a little. It was one thing to be a joke among the Ericson kids. It was another thing to introduce themselves to strangers with that name, and watching the gears turn behind the bearded man's eyes made Violet want to vomit.

The gate opened, and the five of them filed in. Clementine was waiting, her prosthetic foot attached, leaning on only one crutch, right hand free, which told Violet she expected trouble. When she saw the man, her face went through a series of disbelieving, joyful, and uncertain phases, alternating steadily until finally, after a moment had passed, she exclaimed,

“Javi?” and crossed over to him.

“That's right, I thought you might not recognize me after all this time. What happened to coming back?”

“Oh, McCarrol was such a mess, I was sure whoever attacked was going to Richmond next. Did you see what happened there?”

“Not with my own eyes, but I heard. I was going to go to see if you were among the dead but... I didn't have the heart for it.

“Trust me, you're better off not seeing.” The two were so chummy, Violet was ever so slightly jealous, for an instant. She still felt like she said the wrong thing half the time in front of Clementine. She wanted to keep up with Clementine's banter, but Violet's cutting sarcasm usually ended conversations rather than spark them.

Clementine ushered 'Javi' to sit, and offered him a canteen, which he drank deeply from. 

“So, I see you're kickin' around with just one foot now? How'd that happen?” 

“How do you think? It fell off on its own?” She sat opposite him across the picnic table, grinning. Violet sat down next to Clementine, maybe slightly closer than she might have normally sat. She noticed Javier's eyes flit to her, and them together before he returned to casual.

“Do you have a problem?” Violet asked, feeling a little justifiable rudeness was in order,

“Nah, just surprised. Don't mind me. I just happened to have been present for... well, nevermind, I just didn't think Clem here was...” He was clearly scrambling for the right answer. Clementine turned to Violet.

“Remember when I said there had been a boy, but we had just been friends? It was Javier's nephew, and we uh... we kissed.” Clementine and Javier both looked sad at the topic of this unnamed boy, and Violet knew not to ask any further. Deep in her petty side, she wanted to ask Clementine what would have happened if the other boy had lived, but her rational side did its best to squash that thought. It made no more sense for her to speculate about alternate worlds where Clementine was with some guy than it did for Clementine to speculate about her still being with Minnie. She half-smiled an apology at Javier, but didn't say anything further.

“What about you?” Clementine said after they had finished an awkward silence, “How's Kate?” Javier lit up, like he had been looking forward to that question.

“She's doing great! Well, a little bit of post-partum, but our first was just born this spring.” he pulled a sturdy leather case from his pack and produced a small photograph of Kate, smiling while holding a baby with Javier's eyes. “This is little Eva Garcia.” 

“You said your first? So you're trying for another?”

“Oh, right now it's just wishful thinking on my part. She's pretty sure Eva is going to be our only child. I guess I just miss having a big family.” Javier's cheer turned a little sad. Clementine knew he had lost more than someone would expect, with his calm temperament and easy humor. 

“Well, good luck with convincing her, I guess. I know I'd never want kids of my own.” Clementine said, looking at AJ across the courtyard, “I'm happy with just the kid that found me.” AJ saw her looking, and smiled and waved, before returning to his conversation with Louis and Abby. Clementine looked back to Javier.

“So what are you doing all the way out here? I'd have assumed leading the survivors at Richmond would be a full time job, how do you find time to hunt down old friends in the middle of nowhere?”

“Oh, I gave up leadership years ago. Well, technically, I was leader again for a while, but I'm not again, so I'm free to do whatever I please for now.”

“You rotate leaders a lot? How do you keep people believing in you?”

“Well, what I decided, when everyone started listening to me in the first place, against my emphatic advice, was that we needed everyone invested in decision making, but without it being chaos. So, I decided leadership was up to a lottery. Everyone draws straws at the start of a period, short straw has to be leader. Only two rules: no passing leadership on to another until the next drawing, no interfering with the lottery system.”

Clementine was fascinated, and the two of them began to converse about Javier's lottery rule system while Violet excused herself. Clementine had become very interested in leadership and institutional power ever since she had become their leader. While Violet found it pretty cute how Clementine strove to be the best at whatever she set her mind to, she didn't really have a lot of deep thoughts about the topic herself, and left the two to their conversation.

Violet felt a little bummed out wandering around the grounds. She still felt like she and Clementine weren't solidly back on their feet together, and she had just made her old friend 'Javi' uncomfortable by being defensive about it. She wished she could just have another night like the one before Clementine had left for the Ski Lodge. Thoughts of that warm, close feeling made her realize how incredibly cold it was getting outside, and she diverted on her aimless wanderings toward the administration building. She didn't feel like going to bed quite yet, but wanted to warm up, and it would be at least a little warmer inside.

To her surprise, she heard piano music as soon as she entered. Smiling at the thought of hearing some of Louis' music and maybe chatting too, she headed down that hallway. She leaned through the partly open door and was about to announce herself when she saw Abby sitting draped over the armrest of the couch, Louis playing his heart out, and her eyes glued to his performance.

She knew the last thing she wanted to do was interrupt her good friend Louis in this kind of situation, but slamming the door and taking off down the hall at a run didn't seem plausible either. Abby saw her and waved her over, enthusiastically. Violet had no choice, she trudged over to stand near the other girl. She crossed her arms. Abby sat on the armrest, making it too awkward to actually sit on the couch, even though she felt silly standing next to it when it was mostly unoccupied.

Louis interrupted the song he was playing to greet Violet and say, “Hey, sing along!” and then resumed playing.

“Louis was telling me that you sing.” Abby said, “Come on, sing along.”

Violet tried to listen to the music, but she shook her head, “I don't know the lyrics. What song is this?”

Louis reacted in shock, “It's Take Me Home, Country Roads! How do you grow up in West Virginia and not know Country Roads?” Abby laughed, “Hey, can you remember anything aside from the chorus?” Violet made note of her sign for 'chorus', and tried to mimic it. Abby's signing was really weird to her eyes. The grammar was different, and her motions were less sweeping. Violet didn't have any more trouble understanding her, in fact, it was actually easier, but it was still odd to see after becoming used to the signs of the other kids learning from the dictionary.

Louis turned around on the bench and began doing exaggerated singing signs

“Almost Heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shen” he tried fingerspelling Shenandoah River twice before giving up, “Some goddamn river,”

“It's somewhat smelly there, older than the trees, younger than your mother...” Abby was cracking up Violet was still focusing so much on translating for understanding that she didn't catch the humor, but between Abby's laughter and Louis' exaggerated movements, she found herself caught up and laughing along too. Louis smiled broadly.

“Come on, pick a song you know, and Louis can play.” Abby insisted, clapping her hands together demandingly. Violet and Louis' eyes met. The only song that sprang to both of their minds was 'Don't be Afraid.', Minnie's song. Violet didn't think she was up to performing that again this century and shook her head.

Louis half-turned and played the characteristic chord of “Oh My Darling” Violet laughed and shook her head, “You wouldn't dare. Hell, I wouldn't dare.” 

It was stressful, being put on the spot and being asked what songs you can sing. Violet was having trouble thinking of one when Abby suggested, “What about the national anthem? The Star Spangled Banner?” with an exchange of looks, and half-signs, the two of them decided they both knew it, at least well enough to get through it.

It started off well enough, but Violet found it really hard to stay in key. It was kind of a hard song to sing. She had never really thought about that before. She felt Abby judging her, and that made her want to really nail it. When they finished, Abby had a kind of listless look in her eyes.

“Abby?” Violet said. The other girl seemed to snap to alertness,

“Yes! Sorry. Got lost there for a minute. I was just thinking, if that song is still an anthem, or if the thing it's an anthem for is gone, if it's just a song now.” She said with a wistful tone.

Violet shrugged, “It's gone, yeah. I dunno, it's hard to say. It's weird, I'd never even thought about the country since maybe a month after it all happened. I thought that the military was coming for a while, and then when they didn't... I guess I just moved on. I think everyone did. Maybe the generals and senators did too, if they survived this long.”

“I think we know the answer, to whether that star spangled banner still waves.” Abby said, “It doesn't.”

“I guess it's up to us to decide what's next then.” Louis offered, with a neutral smile and shrug.

“I think what's next for me is to go to bed. Abby, you should have Louis put on some records. They're a lot less out of tune than that piano. Louis can show you to your room later. Goodnight.”

She yawned over the last word, and waved to the two of them. Hopefully she hadn't completely failed Louis as a wingman. Wingwoman? Wingperson? Abby annoyed the crap out of her, but she seemed to get along with Louis. Violet grinned, thinking that she owed Louis the help after snatching up the last cute girl to wander into their lives.

She returned to her bedroom. It was full dark now, and crossing the courtyard, she didn't see Clementine or Javier. The bearded guy seemed okay to Violet. He definitely talked too much, in that way of being perpetually amused by himself, but he seemed to be genuine, and good. If he wasn't Richmond's leader all the time, it must be to their detriment.

Violet arrived at her bedroom, sat on the edge of her bed, and began taking off her boots when something behind her moved. Violet leapt halfway out of her skin as she turned to notice for the first time, a lump under her covers, and now sitting up on her knees, Clementine emerging from the covers.

“Hey.” she said simply. Violet didn't recognize the look on her face, but it was making her heart beat faster.

“Uh, hey. Didn't expect you there.”

“Is it okay? I should have asked first.” Clementine didn't sound truly repentant, “Do you want me to go?” she asked, half teasing, half worried.

“No, please, stay.” Violet noticed Clementine was still fully clothed, jacket and all. Only her boot had been removed, sitting near the foot of the bed.

“Still sleeping like you're on the road?” Violet said.

“I was hoping you'd take them off for me.” She toyed with her jacket collar. Clementine's voice was halting and nervous, but Violet felt herself nearly faint. Her heart was beating extremely fast as she sat next to her girlfriend, in bed, and shyly placed her hand on her jacket.

“Is this about you having a boyfriend before? I don't care.” Violet said, withdrawing her hand. She regretted her quick tone, worrying that if Clementine's flirtation here was to prove something, calling her out on it might not be the healthiest thing.

“No, I mean, maybe.” Clementine looked so small, “I didn't tell you about it, not really, and it's because I was worried what you'd think of me. Like you'd think I was just confused, or curious, and I'd go back to guys eventually if you knew.” She had a sickly hopeful look on her face. Violet cupped her face in her palm. 

“I don't think that is true, unless you think it's true. Do you think it's true?” 

“No. I can't imagine being with Gabe now that I've met you. And it was just one kiss, and he was dying. I probably wasn't in my right mind.” Clementine seemed desperate. Violet shushed her kindly.

“We're weird creatures, humans. Sometimes we internalize all kinds of nonsense. Some of that nonsense is that we don't really know what we want. We want each other. That's true, and that's all that matters. If you're bisexual, if you were defaulting to sexual norms then and have realized you're gay now, even if I'm the only girl on the planet you're capable of being attracted to, none of that matters. We're here, and this matters.”

And she kissed her.

The next morning, Clementine invited Javier up to the headmaster's office to look at maps together. Javier outlined the areas he'd heard reports of Delta or New Frontier movements, but hadn't heard of the other groups Clementine mentioned, the Blue Ridge Rangers or the Clan.

“I think it's safe to say the Blue Ridge Rangers are probably somewhere around here.” Javier said, jabbing his finger at the map around the mountains to their west. “Just a guess though.”

“And I'd also guess that anyone willing to call themselves 'the clan' aren't exactly going to be the nicest bunch to people like you or me.” he continued. “Maybe we should be careful, and give them a wide berth, if we find them.”

“You're probably right, but if they're as dangerous as you say, they'll come after us eventually.”

“Maybe. Maybe we'll get lucky and they won't.”

“Anyway, we don't even really know where they are.” 

“So what's the plan then? Do you all want to come back with us to Richmond? We've got room for you all, and I know you're all plenty capable if you've survived this long up here.”

Clementine frowned, “Uh, actually, we're doing pretty well here. I think we're going to stay.”

Javier looked pretty surprised. “Really? It looks like you guys are barely hanging on out here. We've set up in a city, so we've got gas, weapons, tech. You'd be a lot safer with us, in a big group. More comfortable too.”

“Thanks, but we're pretty well off staying out of the way.” Clementine began folding the map, resentful suddenly that Javier still wasn't getting that she wasn't part of his group.

“Clem, these groups are at war. New Frontier wants Richmond back, and the ones that survived the raid on McCarrol have a mean streak a mile wide. Blue Ridge Rangers I'd bet good money are military trained and armed. If you're discovered out here, you might find yourselves in over your heads. Come back with me, and we'll be stronger together.”

Something about that struck something inside her. His words made sense, but she couldn't abandon her home, or ask her fellow survivors to do so either. Still, the welcome he offered to them, and the strength they would lend each other appealed. Clementine looked down at the papers, maps, and lists scattered around the desk top.

“Maybe we can join, without joining.” Clementine pointed to a spot halfway between the two settlements, “Lexington.” She sat back as if that was the answer.

“What about it? It's about halfway back to Richmond, but we circled it on our way here. Too thick with walkers.”

“We can get through the walkers if we're careful, then it can be a meeting place. On horseback, I'd guess it's about a full day's travel from us here. If you have a car, less for you. We can trade, coordinate information, and I'll be out here to be your eyes on Delta. A bulwark against the Rangers or the Clan.”

“A whole city for meeting? Seems like we could just meet outside the city.”

“That's the genius, see... no one risks going into cities anymore, but if we're careful, we can carve out a safe section, and then, surrounded by walkers, no one would bother us.”

“You don't mean to clear out the walkers? I noticed there's a ton of walkers around this area. Do you not cull them when you can?”

“I mean, sure, we have traps, and keep them away from our walls when we can, but they're not evil or anything. They're just part of the terrain. Like a cliff or a river. They can kill you, sure, but so can a river, or the cold. You don't hear me planning to reroute rivers away from my home either, do you?”

“I guess I see what you mean, but the river brings fish, fresh water. You need it to survive.”

Clementine thought about it for a minute, then said, “I think I'd be dead if it weren't for walkers too. I mean, maybe not in the world that you knew, but in the world that I know, they're part of life. Maybe I'll live to the point we don't need them anymore, but for now, we only kill walkers when we have no other choice.”

“Are you saying, if you had a magic wand, and with a wave, walkers would disappear, you wouldn't wave that wand?”

“I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe walkers are the only thing stopping people like Delta, or New Frontier from winning. Until I knew I wasn't going to be tasting boot leather all the rest of my days, no. I'll keep an army in reserve that no one can conquer, and the mighty must always fear.”

Javier looked at her with a shocked expression on his face. Clementine knew she had maybe gone a little too far. She realized James had affected her with his odd beliefs more than any of the other kids at Ericson's, and so she usually knew to hold back her more esoteric opinions about walkers and pragmatic power. Javier just happened to say the things she had been arguing against in her head for a while.

“Sorry, I'm sure that's a surprising way of thinking, but Lexington, full of walkers, at the midpoint between us. If we go together, we can figure out something. Set up a hideout, and establish the next time we meet. In the meanwhile, I'll try and dig up anything we can find on these other factions. See if they're as bad as we were warned about.”

It was agreed that they would send Louis, Ruby and Willy along with Abby and Javier. Willy had insisted on going, wanting to visit Richmond. Clementine was worried about letting the little boy go, since she knew he was their handiest engineer, and was secretly a little worried he'd be so taken with the creature comforts available in the city that he wouldn't return. She reminded herself of her fictional scenario she talked about with Violet, about how authoritarian it would be to force Willy to remain with them, just because he was useful, and approved his going along.

Louis was happy to be going, to no one's surprise. Ultimately Clementine would have been happier with Violet taking his place, from a strategic standpoint, but Louis could handle it, and she was more than happy Violet had elected to stay. With fewer members, the Castle Violet crew would need to work harder to continue to build up foodstores, and Violet was by far their best spearfisher. She tried to pretend that was her main reason to be happy she had stayed behind.

It was decided that Clementine herself wouldn't go only after some debate. The reality of dealing with potentially thousands of walkers from every direction, and needing to climb over barricades left over from survivors in the early days when people still tried to hole up inside cities. It was decided her experience wouldn't be the deciding factor over mobility. Her attention for the rest of the day was held with drafting a letter, to be taken to the Richmond leadership. She needed to convince them of the alliance, and she had no real idea how to draft a formal request for treaty. She looked down at what she had produced.

To the people of Richmond, 

I am Clementine, the leader of a small group of survivors in the forests near the foot of the Appalachian mountains in what was once West Virginia. We are peaceful, and based on assurances by Javier Garcia, a personal friend of mine, you are too. We are a small community, but enjoy a small surplus of game and foraged food. We would like to share some of our surplus with you, if you do the same in kind to us. Being peaceful, we're surrounded on all sides by raiders, who would murder us to take our surplus instead of sharing it. I propose a truce, that we can hope to build on. An exchange of ideas, and friendship, along with an exchange of goods. Javier should return with the exact details, but I propose we resolve to meet in a little over one month, on December 23rd, two days after the solstice, in Lexington.

Clementine.

She folded the letter over, but there were no envelopes, and she didn't really care if Javier read it anyway, so just tucked it away in her jacket and readied herself to descend the stairs and rejoin the departing group. They were departing on foot, since Chopsie couldn't carry all of them in the cart easily. Their plan was to camp overnight and arrive in Lexington the following day. If they could clear a hideout within the city, they would, but if not, Louis, Ruby and Willy would return, and they'd mount a larger expedition.

Clementine crossed the courtyard, noting the hardness of the soil beneath her crutches. It was early to be freezing, maybe travel on foot in December wasn't such a great idea. She put it out of her mind and looked over her compatriots. Louis was looking furtively at Abby, who was readying her pack. Javier was talking with Willy, and Clementine was amazed at how much like a dad he looked.

She approached Louis and greeted him. He nodded in reply and looked back to Abby.

Calling his attention again, she said, “Hey, I know you're excited about Abby, but try to play it cool.”

Louis crowded close, obscuring their hands from Abby's sight with his back and replied, “I don't know what you're talking about. I'm cool as a cucumber.”

“Just, when I first came here, you flirted pretty openly with me, and I get the feeling Abby isn't as well socialized as I am. She might get scared if you come on too strong.”

“Hey, she seems totally into it, and I'm not doing or saying anything she's objected to yet.”

Clementine waved her hands, brushing the air, symbolically clearing what she had said, “Alright, alright, you're probably right. I just want you to be happy, and can tell you want this. Just don't let it get in the way of your safety, or hers, and please, come back here when you're done in Lexington. It'll be pretty tempting for you to go on to Richmond.” 

Louis raised one eyebrow and replied, “What if I can get her to come back here?” 

Clementine shrugged, looked at Abby, and guessed the boy was further away from convincing her than he thought, but smiled and nodded, “Well, she's welcome here any time. Just don't be too disappointed if she says no.” 

He rolled his eyes, but nodded. She hated to think of Louis being disappointed. He had suffered so much since she met him just three or four months ago, and had bounced back with remarkable resilience, but she could just imagine one more crack could send him over the edge. She wished, not for the first time, for one of those therapists of the old world.

Their team was ready to go, and all that was left was for them to be seen off. Clementine passed Javier the note, and clasped his hand in farewell. She asked her to give her best to Kate, and he assured her he would. Louis fell in beside Abby as they left, predictably. Willy nodded to them all seriously before turning and going. Clementine thought he was so different than her first impression. He was such a little weird kid, but she couldn't help but think he was a good one anyway. Ruby surprised Clementine by giving her a hug before going. 

“Don't let all the power go to your head when I'm gone. Pretend there's still a Ruby in your head, vetoing all your most dangerous impulses.” She said it with humor, but Clementine was glad for it. 

“I'll let you know how that goes. You do the same out there. You're coming back soon.”

And with a final farewell, the group was past the gate, and in the wild.


	6. By the side of the road

Louis had nothing to say, and that fact terrified him. He wished Clementine hadn't gotten in his head about Abby, things had been going so well until then. He felt like he should be chatting it up, making her laugh, convincing her to return with them. Instead, Clementine's words of warning kept interrupting him. So instead, the two young people walked side by side in silence.

He thought about how Clementine felt like he was flirting from day one with her. Louis felt like that was an unfair characterization. While he had been bringing up topics like whether she had a boyfriend, it had strictly been to get to know her as a friend. Well, mostly. In retrospect, he felt like it could be said he was playing wingman to his good friend Violet, but maybe, just maybe, at the time he also felt some attraction to the girl. He frowned, maybe she was right.

He stole a glance at Abby as they were walking. She was very attractive to his eyes, with warm coppery skin and green eyes, wild jet black hair trimmed short enough that she might evade a walker's grasp, but he could see the wavy punkish style she clearly wanted out of it. He considered everything he knew about her, and tried to unpack his crush on her, to justify himself to his internal critic, if for no other purpose.

She had been interested in him first, approaching and prodding him for a response, even before he could respond in kind. But she had never even once looked at him with sorrowful eyes. Adjusting to having lost his tongue was nightmarish in so many ways, but for him, the worst wasn't not being able to talk, it was everyone else being unable to talk around him without the unspoken subject always being his loss. With Abby, it wasn't like that. Maybe because she had never known him before, but she didn't think there was anything weird about him.

And she was pretty insightful. She had made fun of him for 'Chairles', but she also saw why he had adopted that weapon, considering their circumstances. She used an iron poker, the heavy duty kind used to turn logs in big fireplaces, and was happy to explain why her choice of weapon was ideal. It was heavy enough that it could be swung with enough force to break a bone, or topple a walker, but it was long, and sharp enough to penetrate a walker skull without having to get close first. He could see her giving the explanation again, word for word, as if she were explaining the obvious.

Mostly though, she laughed when he told jokes. He had always sought attention by being funny, but always resented being called a class clown. He didn't understand what was so wrong with wanting to bring laughter to others. When he laughed, it was the greatest feeling in the world, and he just wanted other people to feel it too. Seeing her losing it when he cracked a joke made him feel valued, and secure, in a way he hadn't really experienced before. Partly because no one had ever laughed as much at his jokes as she did.

He stole another glance at her, and she noticed, smiling wanly back. He regretted suddenly his dismissal of Clementine urging him to return to Castle Violet rather than go on with her to Richmond. He knew then that she had probably been right about coming on too strong. He thought about it seriously for a minute, and then, smiling and nodding to Abby, he intentionally dropped back to talk to Ruby. He could barely come up with a topic that he could even justify needing to talk about, but he did it anyway. It was like there was a rubber band between him and Abby, and it was taut.

When the sun went down, the group split up to gather wood, pitch the tents, and dig in for the night. Louis found himself working the firestarter, trying to get the thin whips of tinder started, and was getting frustrated enough to shout when Javier appeared beside him. 

“Hey, don't worry, you've got it.” he said encouragingly, “Just try holding your hand around the base, and hold it like this.” He demonstrated the difference. Louis tried again, and saw the tinder smolder out again. Javier just smiled and nodded, Louis squeezed again and the wispy embers began smoking in earnest, curling in the heat, and the larger sticks began to catch. It was started, and all Louis could do was grin. He offered a “thank you”, but could tell Javier didn't also speak ASL.

“Hey, just a question, and you don't have to answer, but you've lived maybe half your life after the walkers came. Do you think we're building something that will last? Are you children going to inherit a world where you can live happy, fulfilling lives?”

Louis looked at him questioningly, one eye raised, and gestured noncommittally.

“I guess what I mean is, should we avoid trying to make humanity go on, and prepare ourselves and the world for a world without humans?”

Louis shook his head.

“Well, I guess that's my answer.” He said with a chuckle. “I suppose I shouldn't have expected otherwise.” He got up and made his way to help set the camp, leaving Louis tending to the growing fire and thinking.

It was in the night, as they had all had their ration of food, and were left relaxing and resting around the fire before bed, they heard a noise. A knocking of wood on wood, near the road. Everyone went silent, preparing weapons.

“Excuse me. I mean you no harm.” a masculine voice called, “I can't help but notice you've got yourselves a fire, and well, I'm damn cold.” Everyone looked around at each other, fear growing.

“Uh, anyway, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I sat beside you all a bit, got this chill off me, and I made my way?” the image of the man was visible now, holding a thick walking stick, backpack on the ground next to him, holding his open hand to one side. He made no further image to approach. Louis held Chairles tighter, and felt his eyes narrow. It must be a trick, a trap.

“You don't have any weapons?” Ruby asked, she looked sympathetic, Louis cursed her soft heart.

“'Course I've got weapons, and I'm smart enough not to let you have 'em” he said, not unkindly. “I know this world, and know there's no place in it for charity, but I am a lonesome traveler, and a bit of comfort from a brother would ease both our souls, I think.”

He still hadn't made a move, no one else had yet said anything, when Javier stood.

“Yeah, man, of course, come on over.” Louis looked at him like he was crazy, but here the man was, coming closer, stepping into the light. He was easily fifty, sixty years old, big, calloused hands, the kind that probably were used heavily for decades before the end of civilization. His beard was nearly full white, and his skin wasn't more than a few shades rosier, even in the cold. His bald head was concealed under a weird looking gardener's hat. He carried a massive walking staff that Louis could tell had cracked a few walker skulls in its day. In a shoulder holster was a handgun. The man saw them, several of them with guns drawn, but seemed totally unfazed.

“Thank you for not sending me on my way. Needless cruelty seems to be the norm between brothers these days.” He sat close to the fire, poking it with a twig and stirring up some extra heat.

“You're welcome, friend. What's your name?” Javier asked, sitting halfway around the fire from him, close enough to react if he tried something, was what Louis thought.

“Huh, name? I guess I need one of those again.” he stirred up the fire again, “How about John. Lotta good Johns from the world before. Addams, Brown, Lennon... Yeah, call me John.”

Javier looked at a loss at all the others around him, “Uh, nice to meet you John, been without a group a while?” 

John shook his head, “Don't mind me, I'm just a weird one. I've been in groups, recently too, I'm just seeing the world before I die.”

“What do you mean?” Willy asked. John turned his head and smiled kindly at the young boy.

“I mean, there's more to life than breathing and eating. I'm gonna see the ocean, maybe walk up the coast to D.C., see if the National Mall is still there. I've always wanted to see Niagara Falls. I'll see if I can make it up there before some walker or other inhuman scum gets me. If not,” He shrugged, “Oh well.”

Louis saw the others relaxing as the man spoke more, and resolved himself to not stop watching for false moves. His hand still gripped his club. His menacing tenseness drew the man's attention, and he said, “You really can relax, son. I'm gonna be off in a few minutes, I'll leave you to your paranoia, I don't doubt most of you are half alive already.”

Now, with all eyes on him, Louis couldn't hold back anymore, “Come on guys, he didn't even tell us his real name! We can't trust him!”

Seeing him signing, John raised his eyes. Ruby spoke up,

“Don't be like that Louis, we're all being careful, John is just with us for a little bit, we might as well show him some hospitality.”

“Oh, don't worry, sister, I shouldn't have put him down. I'm guessing he has been given plenty of reasons to fear the stranger, and I'm not going to overturn that in one minute. I'm just a foolish old man, and every day I get further in the past.” he swept up the stick he had been poking the fire with, now burning at one end, and held it close, cupping his hand around it to protect it from the wind,

“I have my own fire now, so I'll be able to leave you fine folks to enjoy your privacy, and still survive the night's cold. I owe you my life, I would guess, and I'll dedicate the next leg of my journey to you, Louis, my brother who will never speak my name.”

And he rose from his seat. No one stopped him, and he was gone from their camp. After a moment, Javier split up watches, and made his way toward a tent, like nothing had happened. Everyone else followed suit, but Louis couldn't get the strange visit by the strange man out of his head for most of the rest of the night.

The next day had them cutting through a press of cars stuck in a stretch of road where disaster must have struck on the day the world fell apart. Eight years these cars had sat unused here. Probably raided for supplies multiple times, it was still a dangerous stretch. There were lots of places in and around cars for walkers to become embedded, and hidden. The group took their time skirting the area carefully. They crouched next to each car in turn, glanced through their dirty windows, and still maintained an arm's reach from them whenever they could.

“Shouldn't they have cleared this area on their way to us?” Louis asked Ruby, careful to speak while Abby's back was turned.

“I think they said they cut across the forest here.” She replied, “I'm not gossiping with you about this.” she added, clearly short with him, which didn't improve his mood. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself, cold, and impatient. He was scanning the treeline when he saw a glint of metal. Without a moment to call attention to himself, he ululated a vocal call of warning. His companions looked up just in time to flinch at an arrow burying itself in Abby's thigh. Everyone moved at once, Javier caught Abby by the armpits and dragged her behind the nearest car. Ruby unslung her rifle and scanned the treeline through the scope, bracing on the hood of a car. Louis scrambled into cover as well, ending up next to Ruby.

“Where's Willy?” Louis asked, but Ruby was looking through the scope, and didn't see him talking. Another arrow whizzed past Ruby's head, and she ducked. Louis ascended to a half-crouch, and looked through the window towards the treeline. He couldn't see their attackers exact positions, but they weren't emerging. A silent pause fell over the scene. After a moment, Javier spoke loudly enough to be heard at the treeline.

“Nice to meet you too. Care to join us over here? We could return the arrow you lent us.”

Javier's threats even sounded friendly. Louis bit his lip in frustration, because he wanted these raiders to be afraid, to go away, and he was making them seem like comedians. 

“Thanks, but no thanks. Why don't you leave your weapons, and any food you might have in a pile where we can see it, and get a move on? Make things easier on us, yeah?” The voice came bold and strong from the treeline.

“We look like we were born yesterday? You're clearly outnumbered, or you'd have threatened us before shooting at us, and you're outgunned, or you'd have opened with bullets.”

There was silence,

“So how about you cut your losses, hope your arrow slowed us down enough you can run away.” Javier called out, sarcastically, working on binding the arrow in place at its base, so Abby wouldn't get secondary internal injuries from moving it around too much.

“Hhmm, now who's thinking who was born yesterday?” The voice returned, still mildly amused, “We've got you pinned down, in the open. You're exposed, we're concealed. We can just wait you out.”

“We could keep talking like this, loud, maybe we'll attract some walkers. Be a shame if you got distracted fighting some walkers and we all charged you while you were distracted. Seems to me, there's only one, maybe two of you?”

A second voice piped up, “You could just as easily draw walkers to you, same deal for you.” 

“Well then, if that happens, we'll just be sure to use all our bullets if it's going to be our last stand. I'm sure you were hoping for more than a stylish paperweight when you asked for our weapons, right?” Javier finished his binding, and finally drew his gun.

There was silence. Whether it was a quiet confirmation, or an attempt to limit any walker attention, Louis had no idea.

“What's your name, kid?” Javier called. When an answer wasn't coming right away, he added, “I know you maybe don't want to be called 'kid', but you've got to understand, I'm a father now. Everyone just seems so young now that I've got a kid.”

“Just shut up.”

“You know, that was a pretty good shot with that arrow. From that distance? Someone teach you?” Silence, “And that fletching looks handmade. You make your own arrows?”

“What do you care?”

“Ah, I'm just trying to work up the courage not to kill you. I notice there's only been two voices talking so far.”

Silence.

“Give up kid, we're not going to hurt you. You must have a hideout around here? We happen to have wounded here, and would really appreciate a safe place to clean and bandage her. After that, we can get out of your hair. Like nothing happened.” Javier nodded to Ruby and Louis across the gap.

“I'll give you to the count of five. On five, we're rushing your position, and you're dead. At any time before that, just say the word and we'll all decide to be friends.”

When nothing was forthcoming, Javier's face drew sharp. 

“One.”

The wind whistled in the trees, and somewhere nearby, an agitated walker hissed, surely making its way toward the standoff. 

“Two.”

Louis peeked through the window, evaluating the run to the treeline. It was down a ditch and then up a hill, maybe 15 yards in the open. He could only hope to be a distraction, making that sprint as fast as he could he wasn't sure he could avoid being hit.

“Three.”

Louis tightened his grip on Chairles and Ruby prepared to rise, rifle at the ready and fire in her eyes.

“Four.” “WAIT!”

The two voices cried out their surrender in that one word, but they didn't emerge from the trees.  
“We'll let you go,” the first voice said, “But we're not taking you to our hideout.”

“I don't remember this being a negotiation. You've injured one of my people, you're going to help make things right.”

“No, I mean, it's just a really long way from here. She won't want to walk that far right now.”

Javier holstered his gun, and turned his attention back to the wound, as if forgetting the attempted raiders were even there. Ruby looked between the injured girl and Louis, and handed him the rifle, signing, “Cover us.” Louis nodded and popped up, hedged between the car hood and the rear windshield to try and maintain cover, and scanned desperately for a target. Ruby scrambled at a crouch between cars until she was by Abby's side. She set to work unbinding the arrow, and cutting away at the clothing around the wound. Louis forced himself to look away, to focus through the scope at the treeline. He thought he saw one of them, he gritted his teeth in anger, and prepared to fire. For some reason he hadn't done it already.

“Hey, uh... can we come out now? Walkers might be getting close. You were right about the noise.”

Louis drew his breath short, they were about to make themselves targets. He could shoot the person who shot Abby. He started getting dizzy, like he was dreaming and trying to run away.

“Yeah, we're not going to hurt you. Willy, Louis, stand down!” Javier called. His sudden, commanding bark startled Louis out of his process of psyching himself up, and he drew the rifle up, out of ready position, and sank back fully behind cover. Louis still didn't see where Willy had gone. 

The two attackers left the tree line, holding their bows cautiously at the ready, but not actively aiming them. They really were kids, both about Louis' age, one with the scraggly starts of a beard, wild brown hair, and a green fisher's vest over a rust colored sweatshirt. The other, a clear faced fellow with black hair cut very close, was quite short, and wore a blue and white coat. They approached the line of cars, but awkwardly stood in the open, rather than join the group, and the person they had shot. To Louis' surprise, Willy emerged from the tree line, following the two boys. He must have found his way to the tree line, sneaking up on the two attackers. Louis glared at them, and stood, keeping them in sight. 

Ruby was deep into her work, using the thin edge of a knife to gently part the striations of thigh muscle to remove the arrow without damaging her leg further, or nicking an artery on the way out. Louis felt sick at the sight of the blood, which Javier had to keep washing away with water from their canteen so Ruby could see what she was doing. Abby was yelping in pain, but holding it together as much as possible. Louis felt like he should be holding her hand, helping her brace against the pain, but... to do that, he would have to lay aside the rifle, and then there'd be no one armed to keep the raiders at bay. He shifted his weight and glared at the attackers again.

At the tree line, from the direction the two boys had come, a walker appeared, then another, and another. Louis looked to the group performing the surgery, but knew they couldn't spare attention to see his warning, so he met eyes with Willy and pointed to the wandering hungry dead. Willy looked, and his eyes got big. He fell back. Louis shouldered the rifle and sighted one, but one of the two boys, the bearded one, held his hand out in a warning.

“Wait, only use guns as a last resort. The sound will draw more.” The boy in the blue coat had already moved behind the line of cars, and was aiming his arrow. Louis put the safety on the rifle and slung it over his shoulder, and picked Chairles up again. The embankment was shallower than the gully near the train station, so he descended into it without fear of losing the high ground, and smashed the lead walker in the face. It was knocked down by this, but almost immediately began clawing toward Louis' leg. He brought his weapon down on it with decisiveness, but didn't manage to finish it. An arrow flew past him, and into the second walker's eye, dropping it on the spot. The boy in the blue coat must have been the marksman who shot Abby, and he felt an odd mix of gratefulness and anger at being appreciative of that level of skill. Instead of facing his feelings, he took out his frustrations on the injured walker and finished it off with a great explosion of fetid blood and skull fragments. 

The other boy, with the green fishing vest, was alongside him, using a hunting knife in his battle with the walkers. It was difficult to tell how many there were, as it always seemed with walkers, because as soon as he had finished one, he felt he had to give ground to give another the slip. He found himself at the base of the gully, having left a trail of walker corpses in the path of his retreat, and there were still more. He spared a glance at the other boy in the melee and saw him struggling, grabbed by one, and another lurking and ready to pounce. Louis couldn't get to him, and was preparing to watch the stranger die when Willy launched himself bodily through the air, holding himself against the walker's torso, and jabbing it repeatedly in the face and head with his knife. None of his efforts managed to penetrate to its brain, but having another target distracted the walker. Louis pushed the line back and kicked the back of the other walker's knee. It collapsed, and now with the leverage, the boy brought his knife down on its temple, ending it. Louis swung desperate, warding blows against the walkers now bearing down on him, trusting in an instant that the boy he had just saved would in turn save Willy.

Arrows rained down and he defended himself, and from one moment to the next, there were no more walkers in front of him. Shocked, he looked around and saw Willy standing over the immobile body of the one he had grappled with. Louis was looking around for any who had gotten past them when he saw it. A walker, likely hidden in the line of cars, either underneath or inside one, or simply a straggler drawn from the opposite direction, was a footfall away from the boy in the blue and white coat. There was no time to cry in warning, no chance to do anything. It was on him. Louis heard a surprisingly shill cry from the boy, who fought back, wrestling with it. Louis dropped Chairles and aimed his rifle. He hesitated, the gunshot would draw more. Abby might die if she had to be moved too soon. This asshole was the one who did it. Should he let the boy die? He knew it was rational, on some level, but he couldn't do it. A shot rang out, and the walker collapsed. Birds took wing from a far off branch.

“Oh my god, Sam, are you alright?” the one sprinted over to check on the other. Sam, the one in the blue coat, was shaking, numbly checking himself for bites. Louis rushed over as well. It seemed like Sam hadn't been bitten. Louis at least knew his shot hadn't been wasted, and was both relieved, and disappointed.

“Thank you.” Sam said, “That was close.” 

“It's nothing.” Louis signed, instinctively, not thinking they couldn't understand. The meaning was conveyed, nonetheless, as Sam didn't look confused. 

“Devon, can you retrieve my arrows? I'm going to need a minute.” He said. Devon, the other boy, nodded, and jogged back toward the now quiet site of the battle.

The forest seemed alive with the echoes of the gunshot though. Each of them could feel the herd bearing down on them. The group returned to Abby, who had survived the surgery. The arrow lay on the pavement next to her, and the large bandage was secured to her leg with duct tape. She grinned weakly up at Louis, and said, “Peace of cake.”

“Is she ready to move?” Louis asked Ruby. 

“Can you give us another five minutes?”

Louis looked around. The first set of walkers was beginning to emerge. They were close enough to a town that there would never be an end to them if they didn't find somewhere safe to hide. He was about to tell her, when Javier jumped in, “Yeah, I don't think so Red, someone will have to carry her.” Ruby looked to Louis, mutely exchanged the rifle and her backpack, with the medical supplies. 

“Don't jostle her too much, but don't freak out if she bleeds through the bandage. We're not out of the woods yet.”

The group made their way slowly through the encroaching groups of walkers, fending them off when they had to, but cutting through and evading them more often. They couldn't do more than slightly outpace them, with Louis slowed down like he was, and so they were beginning to have a following. Sam and Devon looked frightened, and clearly wanted to abandon them to their fate, but Javier's threatening look and their guns made them hesitant to flee, and so they fought on, leading them toward safety. Louis wondered if they would really be safe there, with the hostility between them, but also knew there weren't many options for Abby. 

Eventually, it became clear they were going to Lexington. Louis looked back to Willy, who was behind him, and tried to communicate with his expression. Willy nodded, noticing him looking at their path down the road.

“Hey, where are you taking us, exactly?” Willy asked, accusingly.

“I told you it was far away.” Devon said, “We've got a place just inside the city. It's safe. We've just gotta make it a little further.”

Louis looked to Ruby and Javier, but both of them seemed happy trusting the two of them, and made no indication of distrust of their current path. Louis shifted Abby in his arms, and trudged on, feeling soreness seeping into his back and thighs, but steeled himself to the feeling. He felt Abby's breath on his ear, and drew strength from it.

They passed outskirts, gas stations and sporting goods stores, fast food restaurants and burnt out storage buildings before they entered the city proper. To Louis' surprise, the walkers were thinning out as they got closer to the city, rather than doubling up. A few minutes of laborious walking later, Louis found out why. A bell began tolling, far off from where they were. A church bell, he would guess. His eyes lit with understanding. The survivors here used the bell to draw the walkers away from where they lived and moved around, so they didn't get completely surrounded. He drew a burning breath and stopped walking. He sank to one knee, Abby grasping him around the neck and trying to brace against the ground with her good leg to avoid dragging them both to the pavement.

“I think Louis can't go any further like this. Here, someone support me, I can walk the rest of the way.”

“No, you can't.” Ruby said, “You keep that leg elevated and keep off it or you're going to bleed out.” She punctuated her statement with a sharp grunt as she cracked a walker with the butt of the rifle. Javier appeared, and scooped Abby up like she was weightless, and strode off at what seemed like twice the speed Louis had been managing. Feeling weak at the older man seemingly showing him up, he forced himself to rise, and rush ahead, to split up and deal with walkers barring their progress, trying to set himself in the sights of Abby as he did it.

Finally, after painstakingly making their way across the town, they arrived at a two story fire department, its shudder blocked with a variety of debris arranged into a barricade. Rolling aside a dumpster with some effort, Devon made a gap that they all rushed through. He pushed it closed after him, then clambered up onto it and over the barricades, dropping down next to them with a relieved exclamation.

“We're not safe yet. Get them upstairs.” Sam said, picking up a nearby axe and rushing towards the barricades, where walkers were attempting to climb over. He smashed the axe down into its head, and pried it out again. Devon ushered them into the other end of the empty garage. There was a platform built around the fire pole, a set of ropes leading upwards. Devon offered one of the ropes to Javier. 

“Pull this.”

Javier looked towards the stairs, still holding Abby.

“Can't we just...”

“No, we disabled the stairs to stop a walker herd a long time ago. Just put her down on the platform and start lifting. We're going to need to go three times. It can't hold everyone at once.”

Abby clambered down from Javier's grasp, gingerly settling herself on the platform. Javier joined her, and began pulling on the indicated rope. A pulley system out of sight began to raise the platform. He pulled faster and faster, running the rope hand over hand with singleminded determination. Louis hefted Chairles and pointed to Ruby, Willy and Devon, and ran back towards the barricades. He and Sam held back the walkers, kept them from climbing over or breaking through the barriers. 

It was minutes later, after the platform descended for the second time that Louis, exhausted, flung himself away from the wall and over to the platform, Sam beside him. Louis started heaving at the rope, watching the first few walkers finally make their way over the barrier. He strained as hard as he could, but could tell he wasn't lifting fast enough. 

“Here, let me.” Sam said, as he took over for him. They accelerated, and Louis readied himself to repel walkers, but he didn't have to, as they were out of reach before they had a chance. They rose all the way to the top of the fire pole. Tying off the slack end of the rope, Sam breathed a sigh of relief. Louis took a moment to look around. It was a comfortable looking living space, with a couch, folding chairs and a table, mementos stuck to the walls and arranged on some counter space. A makeshift chimney directed smoke out a window from a potbelly stove. And Javier had his hands up, looking down a barrel. An older woman with graying dreadlocks and smoky brown skin held the gun steady, and aimed at Javier. Louis should have known, this was always going to be a trap. 

Louis put his hands up too, but he was shaking, with fear and rage, at having spent hours fighting together with these strangers, and in an instant, that didn't matter. They should have retreated to Castle Violet, or better yet, let Sam and Devon get eaten by walkers, and not called the attention of more of them with the gunshot. Louis felt himself getting dizzy and nauseous, weak. His raised hands started shaking, and suddenly he collapsed on the spot.

There was a lot of shouting, most of it confused, but some of it angry, in the moments after Louis collapsed, shaking, eyes wide, but unseeing. Javier knew he was right in the middle of what Clementine called, “A bad situation.”, the kind of situation where good people ended up killing each other and dying. He wanted to believe that they would all see the far side of it, but he also knew, he couldn't be one of the good people who wound up the unfortunate casualty of high stress and itchy trigger fingers.

“Is he bit? What's happening?” “Why did you bring them here?” “Point that thing somewhere else, lady.” “Everyone stop, please.” “You're all fucking dead if you don't put that gun down.” “Is he bit!? Answer me.” “I swear if I die here, I'm haunting all of you.” 

Voices competed, cutting each other off and shouting over each other. Javier made eye contact with Sam, and made shushing, calming noises until Sam caught on and quieted. He rotated in turn to Abby, Willy, Devon, and finally, the adult stranger. As they quieted, the chaos seemed managable. Javier waited a pregnant moment before saying calmly,

“He's having a panic attack. We can check for bites if you want, but he's just triggered by hostile survivors because of a bad experience. We're friendly, and don't mean you any harm. We were invited by your young friends, Sam and Devon. We're tired and injured, but have food we can share with you.”

“Is that right Dev? You invited them?”

“Uh, I mean, I guess. He kinda threatened us first, but, yeah, I guess.” 

The gun grew steady. Javier tensed as if expecting a bullet, but forced himself still. He wasn't going to block a bullet with stress.

“I only threatened them because we got off on the wrong foot. They attacked us, trying to steal from us, but we ended up fending off some walkers together. We made up after that, and now we're here. Now, can I please check on my friend Louis?”

“Alright, but I've got my eye on you, and Sam, check for bites.” The gun didn't waver, but Javier went to Louis' side and knelt, checking his vitals and rolling him on his side, muttering 'it's okay buddy' and 'let it out, you're going to be fine' again and again. Sam knelt opposite him and gave Javier an apologetic smile, before running his hands over Louis' torso and limbs, looking and feeling for blood. Sam stood up and shook his head,

“He's not bit. You can relax Mom, they're pretty good people, I think.”

The woman hesitated, then lowered the gun, but didn't put it away. She looked at her two boys and then down at Abby, and her injury.

“Boys, did you do that?” She pointed at the girl's leg. The two boys shared a glance,

“Yeah, but it was only supposed to be a warning shot! We thought we could get them to give up some of their stuff. They look rich as shit.” Sam's voice went up an octave as he struggled to defend himself to his mother.

“You stupid boys! What a way to get shot! I'm gonna have your hide for this!” She finally put her gun away and grabbed at Sam's collar, pushing him toward a hallway. 

“I apologize. I suppose I should thank my lucky stars you all aren't the vengeful type. I feel like it's my duty to make things up to y'all, but I really don't have much to offer.”

“Just safety. A place to rest until I'm ready to go, and that's all.” Abby pitched in with a raised thumbs-up. She sounded loopy, and Javier frowned in concern. Ruby went to her side, to check her pulse. “Alright, let's get you settled and I can take another look at that wound.” 

“I'm Yvonne, you've already met my sons.” Javier wanted to ask whether they were hers biologically, since they looked nothing like her, but he knew the world they lived in now didn't really require that kind of thing be discussed. Who would possibly care anyway?

“I'm Javier, that's Willy, Ruby, and Abby's the one who's hurt. This guy is Louis, and I'm sure he's going to be embarrassed you saw him like this, so please, don't make too big a deal out of it.” The woman, Yvonne nodded and moved to speak with her boys. Javier noticed Louis was beginning to come to, and held his hand and shoulder, trying to ground the young man with touch, and holding eye contact.

“Hey, you're okay. We're safe, don't worry, these folks are friendly.”

Louis issued a string of signs at Javier, but he didn't understand, and shrugged,

“Abby's fine if that's what you're asking. Ruby's with her. Here, drink some water.”

The other group of survivors was conferring, and finally, the older woman returned to them, settled on her ankles to speak at their level with a sorrowful look on her face.

“We're going to have to be quiet for now.” She said at a whisper. “And I mean really, really quiet. The kids say that some walkers got into the garage. One of the tradeoffs we make being on the second floor here is that we can't safely get down until they wander their own ways out. Eventually they're attracted to the bell, but that usually takes about a day, and only if we're totally quiet up here.”

Louis signed something and Javier only had to look at the expression on his face to know that it meant, “No problem here.” or “don't worry about me.” Javier grinned, and shook his head.

So they passed the rest of the day in silence. Ruby had to suture Abby's wound, because the bleeding still hadn't stopped, and Abby bit deep into her sleeve trying to stay silent without painkillers. In the aftermath of the doling out their dried rations equally among them all, and the Lexington group offering the chance to refill their water. The two boys were fascinated by their ASL speech, and watched Abby, Louis, and Ruby talking. Javier could tell Willy felt left out, because he hadn't been practicing, and couldn't really understand. Javier offered the boy a deck of playing cards, and they began a quiet game of cards. Soon, Abby had drifted to sleep. Louis shifted himself, sitting leaning up against the wall next to the couch.

“Hey, when are you going to ask her out?” Ruby asked, Louis looked up in surprise, raising his finger to his lips in a shushing motion.

“Don't worry doofus, no one else here can understand us. We can talk.” she grinned excitedly. “So spill.” Louis flushed, 

“I'm not sure, I'm working up the nerve. And besides, if she goes back to Richmond, what's the point?” he shrugged, “Mabye it's better I don't say anything.”

“No!” Ruby said with an emphatic gesture, “You're just going to keep thinking about her until you find out. Just ask her! What's the worst that could happen?”

“Easy for you to say. You're in a relationship.” He signed half-heartedly. He felt embarrassed and awkward talking about this.

“I'm serious! You're good at flirting, but you never want to actually ask anyone out. You stalled on Clementine for so long, fucking Violet scooped her up, and she was such a bitch to her at first.” Louis felt his attention peaked at that.

“Wait, are you saying I had a chance with Clementine? You're shitting me. I thought she was gay.” Louis wondered at the sign for 'gay', thinking it wasn't really made with lesbians in mind.

“Well, I shouldn't gossip, but apparently when she knew Javier, she had a crush on his nephew, so... maybe if you had been more assertive, she would be with you now instead.” She said with a sly look and a shrug. Louis looked off into space. It had knocked around his mind a few times that he had been captured during the battle at Ericson, and right after saving Clementine's life. He thought about how Clementine had been right there, fighting, and how she didn't save him in return. He wondered if it had been a mistake, if she hadn't noticed he was being taken until it was too late, or if she had been fending off her own attacker, or if she had made a choice. Maybe, if he had acted, and not just flirted and run away... maybe he wouldn't have lost his tongue.

He shook himself. Or maybe Clementine was gay and not bisexual, and a crush she had on the boy at thirteen years of age was a phase where she was figuring stuff out. It wasn't like in the world before, closeted gay people never even once had relationships with the opposite sex. Maybe she was actually bisexual, and Louis wasn't her type, and he would have just embarrassed himself if he had told her his feelings. He looked towards Abby, and thought about Clementine. At the time, his feelings for the short, tawny skinned girl with the bushy hair had been all consuming. Now, when he looked at Abby, he only felt a faint embarrassment at those feelings, because this new feeling was so much more intense. Ruby got his attention back by waving a hand,

“Don't wake her up now. You can tell her in the morning. She needs sleep.”

Louis shook his head, mildly offended, “Of course! I wouldn't do that, I'm not a jerk.” Ruby held up her hands as if to ward off his reaction.

“You should see your face. You look like a man on a path.” Ruby clearly didn't have the idiom worked out in ASL, but Louis knew what she meant.

“Whatever, just get some sleep, Master Doctor. We've all had a looooong day.” He said. Ruby nodded and slunk off to the other end of the living space, where she bedded down next to her pack, careful not to make any noise. Louis did his best to close his eyes, but the idea of what to say to Abby, and how to say it stressed him out so much it was a long time before he slept.


	7. Friends you haven't met yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this just a little early this week because I think anyone stressed over recent events might need something to take their minds off of things for a little while with some utopian fiction. For those of you worried, the fight goes on regardless the outcome, and that we will overcome, someday.

Clementine did her best not to worry. Her best wasn't very effective in this case. She sipped at her coffee as she gazed out from the watchtower, scratching behind the ears of the cat. She couldn't believe that of all the kids who had been sent to Ericson's, not one of them liked the taste of coffee. After eight years surviving here, they hadn't touched the teachers' supply. She looked down into her mug, savoring the thought of drinking even the dregs. She had to ration what was left, and someday soon she'd be out. For now, she relished one of the few luxuries left in the world. 

She had taken Omar's advice to heart about not forcing herself to take double watch duty, but with fewer members of their group around, watches were longer anyway. She told herself she liked the solitude, which wasn't completely false, but she really had plenty of solitude aside from her watch shifts. Since the group departed two days ago, Castle Violet had been pretty empty. With only five humans, each with chores to do, she wasn't seeing people very frequently in a day. Violet in particular seemed to be absent for longer and longer periods of time. Clementine was surprised to find herself a little lonely.

Her thoughts returned to the members of her group she sent with Javier. Ideally they would be starting on their way back this morning, after finding a suitable meeting location inside Lexington, and would be home sometime in the afternoon or evening of the following day. She wondered when it would be that she would send a search party after them. On a trip like that, it'd be a miracle if nothing side tracked or delayed them, and there would be basically no way to find them except to retrace their planned route and hope to stumble upon them. She found that idea unlikely, and dangerous. She began to wonder why she risked it, and why she had promised to risk another detachment in less than a month. She looked again at the dregs of her coffee, wondering if Carver had worried as much as she did.

He called them sheep, and presented leadership like taking on the duty of a hound, to protect them from wolves. She understood that perspective now better than before, but now felt like it was wrong. She chuckled to herself. Her answer at the time had been acknowledgment, acceptance that what he told her was true. She had even petulantly complained about how often she had to act to save everyone. She imagined her eleven year old self saying that to a grown man, and him taking her seriously. Her seventeen year old self felt an odd nostalgic embarrassment at the thought. Maybe she had been a hound, then. But now she was a person. And so were Louis, Ruby, and Willy. She had to trust them to be able to take care of themselves.

Just, she also had to think about what would get them through the winter if no one ever returned.

Suddenly, she realized something was moving out in the woods. She put the binoculars to her eyes and tried to find it. A figure was approaching, and it wasn't one of the Castle Violet kids. It was hard to tell if he had seen their home from where he was, but caution suggested she act as if he had. She opened a wooden box where they kept one of the rifles, in the watchtower and quick to hand in just this sort of scenario, and prepared herself for his approach. She realized the cat had disappeared.

It was a few minutes before he came close enough for her to see. A young man, possibly in his early thirties, red cap, blonde hair, a thin and patchy beard, and patchy red and tan skin, like a man who burns often. He approached to within sight of the walls and drew up short. He took a toothpick out of his mouth and carefully placed it in a breast pocket of his jacket. He waved carefully at Clementine, who had him in her sights and said, “Hello. No need for guns this early, don't you think?”

“That depends, who are you, and what do you want?”

“I'm just a humble getsthingsdoner. You part of a group here?” Clementine studied him, he didn't appear to be armed, and also didn't have a backpack. Whoever he was, he had a camp somewhere nearby, and people to watch it.

“No, I'm all alone here.” She said sarcastically, “Now tell me what the hell you mean by 'get things done' or I'll have to ask you to keep walking.” She felt a lot of malice from this guy and felt the need to return it

“Ericson's School for Troubled Youth?” He read off the sign, “Seems like in the time before, this place was meant to be a place for parents to abandon their kids.”

“I wouldn't know.” She thought of expanding, but this guy was being slimy and evasive, and didn't deserve to know anything she didn't have to tell him, “Do you have a name?”

“Ted.” he said, “You wouldn't happen to have any cigarettes in there, would you?”

“No, Ted, do you come from a group with a tobacco field?”

“Seems only proper you give me your name. I gave you mine. No, I can't say that I do have a group with a tobacco field. Thus the question I had for you.”

Clementine gritted her teeth, “Clementine. So you're not with Delta? You guys at war with them?” The man smiled sly as a fox, retrieved his toothpick and placed it back in his mouth.

“Nice meeting y'all.” and he turned to go.

Clementine thought about shooting him. He was clearly hostile, at least to some degree, and had found them. If he was with the group Delta had been fighting, maybe their war had come to them anyway, and there was some small, slight chance that with one bullet here, she could cut that short. She remembered he probably had a group, somewhere in the woods, within walking distance, and thus within range to hear her gunshot. She released the tension and unshouldered the weapon. She called out to Aasim, who had been chopping wood in the courtyard before the stranger had approached and asked him where Omar was. 

“I dunno, I think checking the traps with Rosie.”

“Shit, we need to get him back here. Get AJ and find him, AJ is in admin. Both of you go armed.” She began climbing down, rifle slung over her back.

“Where are you going?” Aasim accepted the rifle from her as she gathered her crutches.

“I'm going to find Violet. Make sure she's inside the walls.”

“Oh, she's definitely inside the walls.” He answered. Clementine narrowed her eyes at him, and wondered if everyone knew what Violet was up to except her.

“All the same, I'd like to know for sure. We may need to plan to repel an attack.”

“You really think so?” Aasim suddenly seemed spooked.

“It's a possibility. I'm not interested in betting on it. Now get going.”

As she turned and began striding away, she regretted being so short with Aasim. He was clearly expecting another raid like they had seen fighting Delta. She realized Louis had been traumatized by his capture, but had never considered the effect it had on Aasim. She resolved to talk with him about it. Later.

“Vi!” Clementine called as she moved. She made her way toward the back of the school. If Aasim was so sure she was within the walls, she couldn't be anywhere Clementine could go easily. That meant she was probably up in the bell tower. She approached the area, and was surprised to see a nylon tarp draped over the entryway.

“Vi?” She said, tone lower.

“Hey!” Violet's voice issued from the other side of the tarp. Clementine reached out to pull it aside when Violet emerged, casually laying the nylon closed behind her as she left. The casual movement betrayed her not wanting Clementine to see beyond it. She felt a little curious, but reminded herself she had resolved not to try and dig the truth out of her girlfriend about whatever it was. Besides, now wasn't the best time.

“Looking for me?” She asked, also too casually. Clementine felt herself smiling at how much effort Violet was putting in to surprise her, and had to steel herself to the seriousness of the current situation.

“Yeah, we just got a visitor at the front door. Weird guy, seemed kinda dangerous, and Omar's out in the forest.” 

She saw Violet's face grow fearful and angry, but also guilty. Clementine remembered that Omar didn't get the responsibility to check the traps very often. She realized that Violet probably switched duties with him, and remembered her guilt over swapping tasks with Brody the day she had lost Minnie. 

“It's just a precaution. He wasn't armed, and didn't threaten us. I just want to make sure we're all okay until he passes. We're still all in the safe zone.”

Violet nodded, “Gather in the courtyard, with weapons?” she asked.

“Yeah, for now. I'm gonna go get my leg. Keep watch until I get back.” And she turned to go.

Clementine was just emerging from the dorm when Omar, Aasim and AJ returned. They hadn't seen the man Clementine had spoken with, but they still looked a little on edge.

“Don't worry everyone. We're going to give them an opportunity to leave on their own. I just want us to be alert and ready. If they come back, we're ready for them. We've dealt with worse before, and we're much better armed now. The barbed wire is still up, we're safe as long as we're inside. Tomorrow, Violet and I will do a sweep through the forest to find their camp and make sure they've moved on.

“But-” 

“AJ, I need you here. You in the watchtower with a rifle will make a safe area for us to retreat to if we're pressured.” AJ looked frustrated, but nodded.

“Until then, we stay armed, and we try to go about our day as normally as possible.” Clementine looked to each of them in turn, getting nods and fearful looks.

“Uh, bad news, chief, none of the traps I checked before I was called back had a rabbit in them, and we didn't have enough people to spare for fishing.” Omar said seriously.

“It's for days like this we keep a store. We're dipping into it tonight.” She nodded decisively.

So the rest of the day passed in tension for the group. AJ spent the entire day in the watchtower, against the advice of the rest of them. He kept insisting he would protect them, wouldn't let anything bad happen to them. Clementine couldn't convince him otherwise, so involved herself in inspecting their weapons, cleaning them and taking inventory of their bullets. Violet had disappeared again, but according to Clementine's notes, had a handgun with six bullets in it, wherever she was. Omar was tasting from one of the jars of cooked down greens they had preserved, and giving it a worried look. Clementine knew from that one look that this winter wasn't going to be for gourmands. She itched at the belt securing her prosthetic foot. It felt necessary to be ready for anything.

Clementine noticed Violet didn't show up for dinner. She thought about going and finding her, but everyone else seemed happy to let her come when she was ready. Clementine dropped her attention to the meal in front of her. It certainly didn't look appetizing. Omar had prepared it with a small serving of rice, warmed the greens up, and added a few herbs he had dried and ground. She tried a spoonful. It wasn't as awful as she had expected. Bitter and peppery, the flavor wasn't totally awful, but the texture was difficult to find appealing. She swallowed and forced herself to have another bite. She could see AJ looking at his bowl with a kind of fed up anger she had seen before.

“Hey, AJ, what's the matter?” she asked, knowing the answer.

“I don't like this. I wish we had gone and driven off those people, so we could have rabbit stew again.”

“Come on, AJ, don't tell me you're not sick of rabbit stew.” Clementine said lightly, trying to distract the boy from his bad mood.

“I got sick of rabbit stew after one month of it. I got sick of this after one mouthful.”

“I'll inform the chef.” Omar said, cutting in. AJ clearly didn't understand what Omar meant by that, and just pressed on.

“I don't want to eat this the whole winter.” He said. Clementine had to bite back her reply. She had been hungry a fair few times over the years. Really hungry several times. Truly starving, only once. She remembered thinking she was going to die of hunger once. She remembered the sun through the trees on that day. It had been mercifully warm. It was not long after she had to abandon Howe's Hardware. She remembered AJ squalling, hungry himself, and looking at him with only pity. In that moment, as she sat at the base of the tree, waiting to die, she made no move to hush him. He had saved her life that day, and he would never know. She looked down at her left forearm, where her New Frontier brand was kept covered by her sleeve. That was the day New Frontier had found her.

“I know buddy. I don't want to either, but if you want to grow up big and strong, so you can protect us, you're going to have to eat it.” She said, knowing AJ better than she knew herself. He looked at her with a dubious expression on his face.

“Eating this is going to make me big?” He clearly didn't believe it.

“Yup. Tell him, Omar.” She said with a smile.

“Oh, I don't know Clementine. I don't want a food critic like this guy to get big enough to push me around.” Omar said with a joking smile. “But she's right. You need to eat to get big.”

The young man looked back to his plate with renewed determination and Clementine wished she had as much willpower as the kid, because this stuff was gross. She knew she had to be the adult though, and forced her way through it. She wondered exactly how hard it would be to hunt a deer.

“I'd better take some of this to Violet. She's probably hungry by now.” Clementine said, standing up to go. Everyone tensed a little, and Aasim said, “Oh, don't bother yourself, I'll take it.”

“No thanks Aasim, I'm just fine taking it.” She looked around at all of them, acting like they were about to tackle her if they had to, and she sighed, “Fine, look I won't go inside the bell tower. Whatever she's doing, it's in there, isn't it? I'll just call her to come out.” the tension seemed to go out of the group at that, and Clementine took that to be permission to leave. She left one crutch behind, using her empty hand to balance the bowl as she moved. 

She made her way around the grounds to the Bell Tower entrance, and called out for Violet. When Violet responded, her voice was higher up than Clementine expected. 

“Yeah? What's the matter? Is someone attacking?”

“No, dummy, it's dinner time, and you're missing a real treat. Omar's outdone himself, but I brought you some before it was all gone.” 

“Uh, thanks, just give me a minute, I've gotta climb down.” There was a silence, and then a suspicious amount of banging and knocking, like there was a pair of rubber balls bouncing around a wooden room. Finally, Violet hit the ground with a thud, and Clementine stepped back to allow her to shield the inside of the room with her tarp and pretend it was normal.

The two of them sat on a low stone wall nearby. Violet didn't even look at the dish before sticking a large spoonful in her mouth. Clementine almost yelped in alarm at Violet's eyes bugging out. 

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I should have warned you.” Clementine said in an apologetic tone, two octaves higher than her usual voice. She held her hands at her cheeks in stress, then started laughing. After swallowing, and managing a drink of water, Violet joined the other girl laughing.

“I should know better, shouldn't I?”

“I thought I was being obvious with my sarcasm. I can't believe you thought Omar could rescue that mucky stuff.”

“Well, maybe I've just got a warm and trusting nature.” Violet smiled and elbowed Clementine playfully in the side.

“Eat your food.”

They sat in silence for a while, Violet eating slowly and methodically. Clementine looking up at the stars, what she could see through the buildings crowded around them. She remembered the night atop the roof, which led her to thinking of Violet's secret project.

“When are you going to let me see the surprise?” She asked.

“I dunno, maybe tonight, if you're interested.” Violet said with an air of nonchalance. Clementine looked at her with a start.

“Tonight? What is it?” she half stood, but Violet pulled her back down.

“Wait for me to finish eating. It took a lot of work, and I'm hungry. I actually missed dinnertime tonight because I was rushing to finish. There's still a bunch more work to do, but I guess you could call it a working prototype.”

Clementine felt her skin crawl with sudden anticipation. She had been ready to wait an indeterminate amount of time to see the surprise, but now that she had to wait for Violet to finish her meal, the small bites she took felt suddenly maddeningly slow. The other girl was obviously enjoying making her squirm, and took her time, daring Clementine to object. Clementine refused to give her the satisfaction, and tried to distract herself. She recalled the mental inventory of their bullets, reminding herself how many of each they had. Whatever it took to take her mind off wondering what it was that lay behind that tarp. 

Finally, after four days of waiting, Violet lay aside the mostly empty bowl and stood up. Clementine tried to play it cool and not leap to a standing position. The two held hands as they passed through the tarp, Violet leading the way. Beyond the tarp, the bell still sat in a pile of rubble, but a lot less light came in from the stars above. Violet must have built a roof over the bell tower. The relative darkness made it hard for Clementine to see at first, until her eyes adjusted to the small light filtering in from holes in the walls. When she could see again, she gasped.

Around the perimeter of the tower walls was built a series of ramps. Slanted slats of wood, reinforced with bracing, and anchored to the old landings. They wrapped around up and out of sight above. She could climb it. It would be tiring, but she could get stronger. She looked to Violet, who was looking at her expectantly, but sheepishly.

“So, what do you think?”

“It's amazing! Did you do this all yourself?” Clementine couldn't help holding a hand over her mouth in shock.

“Everyone pitched in a little. Willy did most of the design work, showed me how to make it safe. I still need to add railings. That's stage two of the project.” 

Clementine tested her weight on the base of the ramp, and felt no give to it.

“How long did it take? This looks like months of work.”

“Yeah, about two months. I started the day after you got back from the raid on the boat.” Violet looked a little abashed, “I promised you a bell tower house, like your tree house. It wouldn't be fair if you didn't get to hang out in your own tree house.”

Clementine stepped closer to the other girl and embraced her tightly, closing her eyes and burying her face in the taller girl's shoulder. 

“Thank you so much. You can't understand how much this means to me.” she felt the wavering tone of losing control of her emotions, and like hot tears were coming, and tried to calm herself. Violet pulled away just far enough to look her in the face.

“I'm glad you like it. Part of me was worried you were going to say, “What a waste of building materials! Take it apart!” That would have sucked.”

Clementine giggled, “Wow, I'm a jerk in your head. Of course I love it.” the two stood in silence, embracing and looking into each other's eyes until Violet nodded her head in the direction of the top of the tower and said,

“Come on, let's check it out.” they grinned and set off, up the ramps.

It was slow going for Clementine, even on her prosthetic foot and with the crutch. Violet used her hand to help steady Clementine as they went. The ramps were a little too steep to be easy, but Clementine thought she could manage with a little practice. She was happy for Violet's help this time though, and eagerly awaited her return to the star filled view she never thought she would see again.

They reached the top, stepping off the creaking final landing and out under the twinkling gems in the velvet cloth above. Violet allowed her hand to drop as they made their way back to the edge of the rooftop. The exact place they had first admitted their feelings to each other. Clementine had felt so nervous in that moment, she reflected. She was lucky, because Violet was terrible at hiding her feelings, and had all but admitted them to Clementine first, but even so, Clementine had been terrified. What would it mean to be with someone in the way Violet expected? What would happen if Delta tore them apart? What if she ever had to make a choice, AJ's life, or Violet's? Could she devote herself to someone else, let them in so deep that they wouldn't ever fully come out again? She thought about Gabe. She lived with having lost him, but this felt entirely different.

“Can you sit, without falling to your death?” Violet asked, a reflection of what she had said the last time the two were up here, but this time it was a question. They were both still getting used to what her new mobility was like.

“Yeah, I'm coming.” Clementine was careful, and edged over to the side, next to Violet, who was seated where she had been that night, on the edge. It was much colder this time, and the two very quickly wound up leaning into the other for warmth. The skies above them were even more striking in the clear cold. The stars sharper, like they could cut you if you looked too hard at them. 

“Do you want me to find more constellations?” Violet asked, her voice soft, almost uncertain.

“Not tonight.” Clementine said after a pause, “That can wait until next time. Right now, I just want to be here with you, appreciate what I have.” Violet nodded, Clementine could feel the motion, even if she was too close to see it. The silent cold stretched between the two.

“Do you ever miss Minnie?” Clementine asked, her voice carefully neutral, trying to avoid sounding even the least bit jealous, or judgmental. Violet thought about it for a moment.

“Yeah, sometimes. Not who she was when you knew her. I miss who she was before.” She looked down at Clementine curled up beside her. “I miss the Minnie who looked out for Tenn and Sophie. I miss the Minnie who was so patient with me figuring my shit out.” She shuddered, “I think I also miss the version of me that was with her. I've spent a long time afraid, alone, pushing people away. I think I'm less whole than I used to be. God I wish you could have known me then.”

“You're exactly the person I want to know right now.” Clementine turned her golden eyes up to her. “Actually, I'm sorta relieved to hear you say that. I'm always worried you're going to find out just how stained with blood my hands really are and won't be able to look at me. Maybe we can both relax?”

“Your soul isn't stained. You're the purest person I know.” Violet gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze, speaking lightly because she knew it was a delicate topic for the other girl.

“I've killed a lot of people. So many I've lost count. How can I be a good person if I've lost count?” Clementine's tone was dull, almost morose. Violet paused for a long moment, thinking.

“Because you still ask questions like that.”

A long, but comfortable silence stretched between them. Violet was starting to get really, uncomfortably cold, but didn't want their evening to be over yet, and resolved to endure. Clementine didn't seem to be uncomfortable in the cold.

“I have a weird question. Please answer me honestly, and please don't hold it against me if it does legitimately weird you out.” Clementine said, haltingly. “What would you think if I cut my hair similar to Minnie's? Would that be weird for you?” 

Violet was stunned.

“I usually just cut my hair for practicality, short enough that a walker can't grab it, but I've never liked how it looked short, ever since I was little. I kinda thought she made short hair look... I dunno, cool?”

“Hey, Clem, you can do whatever you want with your hair. I'm not going to control you.” Clementine pulled away far enough to face each other and said, “But if I'm going to be bringing up painful memories every time you look at me, I don't want that.”

Violet gathered a bunch of locks around a finger and held it up, “Your hair is a lot bushier than hers, even with the exact same cut, you're going to look completely different with it. I promise I'm going to like your hair, no matter what you do with it, but if you want to explore your style, I can try and help you. We can get some scissors, we can sit down in front of a mirror, and we can figure something out.”

“I'd like that.” Clementine said with a sigh, leaning back in to Violet's warmth.

“What do you wish for more than anything in the world?” Clementine asked, only a few moments later.

“Uh, right this moment, a space heater. Or a magic thermostat that controlled the weather.” Violet said, feeling the cold make her whole body start to shiver slightly.

“You're that cold? We can go inside.” 

“No, it's nice being out here, alone under the stars with you. I had just kinda hoped to get in your pants tonight.” She stiffened as she said that, as if she hadn't realized what it was going to sound like when she said it out loud. “I mean... shit.”

“And you think it's too cold here? That we'd freeze or something?”

Violet laughed suddenly, trying very hard to play it off like a joke.

“Yeah, something like that.” She said. Clementine buried her head deeper into her shoulder, resting her chin below Violet's collarbone and hiding her face from view.

“It's warmer in your room.”

Louis slept very poorly the previous night. Between Yvonne waking him every time he started to snore, and the lack of bedding, he hadn't slept long enough to get real deep sleep. Louis also felt like he was, just at a basic level, more accustomed to sleeping behind solid walls. The sounds of the walkers milling about and hissing their throaty warnings kept him on edge. He had done his best to rest and catnap after the sun had risen the following day, but it really wasn't in his nature. Adding to his frustration was the knowledge that it was time to turn back for Castle Violet this morning, and every moment they delayed was another moment they were technically missing.

The plan was to wait until midday, and peek at what walkers were left ambling around the garage. If there were few enough, they would remove the platform, slide down the fire pole, and clear the rest out. For now, all that there was to do was wait. Louis, Ruby and Abby sat in a rough circle, talking, Abby with her leg elevated on the couch armrest. The rule about silence was still in effect, and Willy was visibly starting to go crazy. Javier was attending to him, but was clearly getting tired of occupying the boy. Ruby excused herself and crossed to the other two, offering to help Willy practice his fingerspelling. The look on Javier's face was clear relief, but Louis had to admire how well he had done keeping the wild and strange boy quiet.

“Javi's a natural father, don't you think? He really doesn't come off that way.” Louis said to Abby.

“I don't know what you mean by 'natural father', but he is good with kids for a man.” Abby replied. Louis couldn't really tell her tone, but she seemed a little annoyed suddenly.

“Yeah, I guess.” Louis replied neutrally, not sure what he said wrong, “I just don't think I could have handled Willy as well as he did.”

“Well, obviously you don't. You let Ruby go volunteer herself in your place.” Abby tried to soften her tone with a soft faced expression, but her hand movements were crisp.

“I didn't tell her to do that. That was her choice.” Louis didn't know why he was getting defensive, but he couldn't help himself.

“It was, yes, but I'm sure Ruby has freely chosen to take care of the rest of you a lot of times. Have you ever asked if that's what she wants to do, or if she's doing it because she knows it needs to be done? If no one will do it if not her?”

“I do a lot for the group. I even did a lot of the stuff Ruby does now, when I still could talk. I mean, when I still had my tongue.” Louis hated mentioning his injury. It made him relive it just a little in his mind, but signing that he couldn't talk felt wrong.

“Sure, but I think you do it like Javier does it. For a while, when you have to, and until someone relieves you. Ruby volunteered here, with Willy, because she knew you weren't going to.”

“I can't really communicate with Willy, I don't think you're being fair.”

“Willy can't speak right now anyway. Children don't need language to get what they need, they just need attention and care. ”

“I guess I didn't really think about it like that.” Louis felt pretty rotten, and watched Ruby trying to get him to sign the alphabet by conducting it like the “ABCs” song. He felt bad partly because he thought of himself as good with kids, a fun time, and caring, but he didn't want to argue with his crush. He didn't think he was going to convince her of how close he was with AJ, how much he liked monitoring the mental state of the group, and organizing morale boosting activity just as much or more than Ruby did. He genuinely thought he was the most caring, emotionally supportive person in their group. 

But Ruby did go to Willy, and he didn't.

“You should come back to Castle Violet with us.” Louis said suddenly.

“No thank you.”

“Come on, why not? You would fit right in, we're all about your age. We've got plenty of room, and food. You could teach us better signing. We could show you how to fish.”

“How old do you think I am?”

“16? 17?”

“I'm 21.”

That revelation shocked Louis. 21 was such an 'adult' age. He had never really contemplated a transition from childhood to adulthood for himself, but remembered in the time before the walkers, when he really was a little kid, that 21 was when you were definitely not a child anymore. He realized he had seen in Abby every similarity to himself. Looking at her now, he realized there were subtle differences between them that marked her as older. A general set to her posture, the way she carried herself, the lines of her face.

“Well, I'm almost 19, we're not that far apart.”

“If you say so.”

“Would it change your mind if I said I really would like you to be there?” Louis felt like he knew the answer, but also couldn't help asking it.

“No.” She said simply. She went on after a moment when Louis didn't immediately respond.

“Look, Louis, I like you, but I think you're reading into us something that you really want to see. You're cool, and funny, but you really don't know me at all. I think you just were so happy to have someone you could talk to, you latched on.” She said it not unkindly, but Louis felt the feeling go out of him. She didn't feel the same way he did. His image of them returning together was broken, and he felt suddenly all alone, and full of bitter resentment for Aasim and Ruby, for Javier and Kate, and for Clementine and Violet. In this hellish world of bitter alienation, they had found someone to be with. It felt in that moment like Louis would never find anyone. He turned away, not wanting Abby to see his emotions. He said over his shoulder, “I'm okay, I just need some time alone to think.” 

He stood up, crossed to the hallway, and hid there, out of sight of the group. He wanted to punch the wall, wanted to scream, or sob, or do anything to let out the feelings of rejection and pain, but he knew he had to be totally silent. So he stuck his first knuckle between his teeth and bit down, focusing on the pain and letting himself feel everything for a moment. 

“Hey, buddy, you okay?” it was Javier. He was whispering, but it still almost made Louis jump. He nodded, wishing Javier would go away. Instead he came closer.

“Yvonne says it's almost time to check on the stragglers, you want to come?” Louis thought about it and shook his head. As much as it would feel good working out his anger and pain on walker skulls, he felt so weak and unfocused right now. He didn't think he'd help against the walkers downstairs. In the back of his mind he also realized that if he wasn't impressing Abby with his strength and fighting ability, what was the point? Javier smiled sadly at the young man.

“You know, I have a really hard time understanding women.” Louis looked at him with a bitter, resentful and disbelieving look.

“No, it's true. I know I'm with Kate now, but I never had much luck before she decided she wanted to be with me. You're going to have your heart broken a bunch of times, but if you live long enough, you're going to find someone who makes all the times that came before meaningful. You're going to remember this moment, and if you're wise enough, you'll see how if this moment had never happened, you wouldn't have become the person your new partner needs.”

Louis looked blankly at him, listening, but unable to process what he was saying, “Anyway, just think about it. And try to stay friends with Abby, even if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. You guys clearly get along really well.” he patted Louis' arm, and Louis nodded, still dejected. Javier turned back towards the group readying themselves for the descent into the garage. Sam, Devon and Yvonne were all going, along with Javier and Ruby. There was an exchange of whispers between the group and some shrugs and glances toward the hallway where Louis was hiding. Louis felt embarrassed that he was scared out of joining them in the fight, and now was too embarrassed to change his mind and come with after all. He sat on the floor, back against the wall and face buried in his knees, wishing he was someone else.

After the fight, Louis helped reconnect the platform and pulley, and descended to help them clear the walker corpses. He tried to ignore Sam and Devon, who gave him curious looks. He had nothing to say to them, and couldn't make them understand even if he did. Once the walker corpses were safely down the road a little ways, they were burned. Louis hated dealing with walker corpses, but felt like he had to do something to help. Besides, it was an excuse to be outside, and away from Abby for a while. The physical activity felt good after being still and silent for so long. He examined the sun, high in the sky, but hidden by clouds. If they left now, immediately, they could get home before sunset on the next day. He thought about suggesting it, but also considered it would mean leaving things as they were with Abby.

He didn't really think he had done anything wrong, but things were still weird. He took to heart what Javier had said, they really did get along well. He still felt lonely, thinking about returning to Castle Violet without her, but the idea of returning without her friendship felt even more lonely. He hoped that feeling was mutual at least. Ready to return, the boys all crowded together on the platform and Louis took the line of the pulley and started to lift them steadily.

The group was free to speak openly now, and Javier had been discussing the compact between the Richmond survivors and Castle Violet. He urged the three survivors in the firehouse to join their compact, but Yvonne was skeptical of its value. Still, she offered the use of her space for the meeting, in exchange for some trade in fuel. Javier had to content himself with that deal, because it was probably too dangerous to clear a different meeting place safely with Abby injured. Abby walked a few limping experimental steps under the gaze of Ruby, who determined the stitches would hold, but that she should stay off it one more day if she could. Ruby took inventory of their remaining food and decided it was time for the two of them to get moving on their way back to Castle Violet.

“Wait, it's late enough now that we could stay one more night, right? I mean, we're going to camp out two more nights either way, might as well have this one be safe and warm, especially if it's only the two of us?”

“Louis, we only have three meals left. We'll walk all day, day after tomorrow on an empty stomach if we don't get going now.”

“Maybe we can scrounge something on the way? And besides, that doesn't sound that bad. Come on, let's just leave in the morning. Bright and early. We can see Willy off at the same time that way.”

“Oh fine,” she threw her hands up, “We can stay, but I'm not going to hear you complain this time day after tomorrow. You'd better be ready to keep it to yourself.” and Ruby stalked off to talk with Devon and Sam. Louis looked over, and saw Javier talking with Yvonne, but sparing a look his way. He gave an encouraging thumbs up and returned to his conversation. Louis continued turning and faced Abby again. Drawing up his courage, and pressing down his embarrassment, he returned to her side.

“Hey.” was all he said to open the conversation.

“Hey.” she responded, looking at him expectantly.

“I... I'm sorry if I said or did anything stupid earlier. I wasn't really at my best.”

“You didn't do anything stupid. I think you took it better than I thought you would.” She looked sympathetic, but firm. Louis chuckled.

“I'm glad you think that. I guess I'd like to stay friends, if that's okay with you.” he forced himself to say that, even though part of him still wanted to plead his case.

“Of course I want that!” Abby grinned ear to ear.

“Great!” Louis finally let himself relax, and sit on a chair facing her. “When did you first think I had a crush on you? I hope I didn't make you too embarrassed.”

“Why? When did you first have a crush on me?”

“I dunno, maybe the first time I made you laugh.”

“That was like, five minutes after meeting me.”

“Yeah, but for the second time, so we had already known each other a few weeks by then.”

“I don't think that exactly counts. See, this is kind of the problem. You decided you liked me so early, how in the hell are you supposed to know?”

“I don't know, but it's not like I decided to like you, it just happened.”

“Well, the way you liked me was a little like you were play-acting liking someone. Like, yesterday, when you were carrying me, you carried me like, five miles without a break just to show how manly and protective you could be. You didn't rest, and didn't share the burden, which would have been better for everyone. Then, after Javier had to take over for you, you were running around acting all macho. It's not you. It was you performing the kind of person you assume I'd like.”

Louis grunted audibly in a kind of “Huh...” way. She was right, that had been his motivation. He hadn't even considered what it looked like from her perspective, if she noticed. 

He shrugged, “Well, I guess it didn't work. I'll try not to act like that anymore.”

“That's a good start.” She looked at the rest of the group, “Hey, aren't you two supposed to be heading back?”

“I think it's better we wait for the morning. Fewer nights sleeping in the open.” Abby looked skeptical.

“If you say so. I hope you didn't stay on my account.”

“No, of course not. I was glad for the chance to apologize though. Is it okay if we write to each other, and send the letters with the delegation? Assuming we're not a part of those meetings.”

“Well, you can write me, but I'll need my dad to read it to me. I can't read.”

Louis' eyebrows shot up. He had never met anyone who couldn't read who wasn't five. He hadn't been expecting to hear that.

“You can't read, like at all?” He asked, incredulously. Abby looked embarrassed.

“No, I can read a little if I try. I've got something wrong with my brain. It makes me learn a lot of things slower. It's actually why my dad taught me ASL. Doctors thought I'd never learn how to speak English, in the times before, when I was a baby and stuff.”

Louis gaped, “I can't believe it. You're so smart.”

“Thank you, but I don't think 'smart' is a very good word. I'm able to do a lot of stuff, but some things I can't, and I'm not always sure why. I don't think that's all that different from other people, but I've never been another person, so I don't know.”

Louis took a moment to think. 

“I'm surprised, but I shouldn't be.” Abby quirked one eyebrow. He continued.

“I should have known anyone laughing at my jokes would have something wrong with her brain.”

She chuckled, “Lucky for you no one ever poked around in that brainpan of yours, they'd have found your brain broken too.”

“Oh, I wish, plenty of shrinks got to me before the walkers came, I'm as crazy as they come. Why do you think I got sent to Ericson's in the first place?”

“Well, we can be broken brain buddies.” She smiled and his heart ached, because that kind of thing was exactly why he liked her, and her saying it threatened to reignite the feeling in his chest. He buried it, and stood up.

“Well, I'll try to get assigned to the delegation in a month. If you can't make it too, I'll send a letter for your dad to read. I'll leave out the dirty limericks. In the meantime, I'm gonna see if Devon or Sam know any good food to be found in the forests” He had to fingerspell limericks and he suddenly wondered how she could be illiterate, but understand fingerspelling. He decided not to ask, imagining it would be quite rude of him. She seemed to understand, and whether it was always context, or she just pretended to understand, he couldn't guess.

“Alright. I'll be here, waiting for my leg to heal and trying not to hold it against Sam.”

Louis nodded and made his way to the two boys, and Ruby, who he hoped would act as translator. He spoke with the others, but was still thinking about Abby, and how she had said he didn't really know her, and how right she really was.


	8. Scared Stiff

Violet had waited for Clementine to rouse on her own for a long time, but eventually couldn't lay in bed awake any longer, and gently shook her by the shoulder. She rolled over, facing her, but her eyes were still closed. The expression on her sleeping face was one of annoyance at having been disturbed. Violet contented herself with running her hand through Clementine's hair, caressing her shoulder, and generally just bothering the other girl in whatever ways appealed to the wakeful girl. Clementine shifted in her sleep again, but otherwise gave no response. Violet frowned, she really was a heavy sleeper.

“Hey, it's time to wake up, Clem.” she rocked her again by the shoulder.

“Violet?” She said, half awake. “What are you doing in my bed?” and closed her eyes again.

“This isn't your bed, this is my bed.” Violet said.

“Oh.” Clementine snuggled closer, and felt her skin touch Violet's. She froze. Violet felt the other girl becoming aware of the night before.

“Oh my god, where are our weapons?”

“On the dresser, within reach. Don't worry, we didn't let down our guard, not really.”

“Maybe you didn't. I think I would have slept through the end of the world after...”

“Hey, maybe now you believe me about you being a sleepyhead?”

“No way! I normally am up and at 'em. I just sometimes sleep in just a little.”

“Sure you do. I'm gonna get up, do you want anything? Water?”

“Yeah, some water would be nice.” Clementine curled up under Violet's covers, watching the taller, gangly girl get dressed, trying to memorize every crag and mole. It felt completely different, and yet strangely just the same, to see her girlfriend naked now. Violet looked back at her.

“Don't stay in bed too long. We've got a job to do this morning. Your foot is over there.”

Clementine just squirmed deeper into the covers, looking out with only her eyes visible. Violet kissed her on the top of her head and left the room.

Outside, waiting near the door to the courtyard, was AJ. Violet felt extremely awkward in that moment. The kid just looked at her. She felt like she was sneaking home to a strict parent or something. She smiled and waved at the boy.

“Hey, AJ, good morning.” She offered lamely. She coughed.

“Where's Clementine?” 

“Uh, she's still in bed. She slept over last night. We were just talking so late into the night, she was falling asleep. I didn't want to carry her back to your room, uh... and I had a spare bed so...” Violet didn't even know why she was lying, but really didn't want to tell the truth right now.

“Is she just going to sleep in your room all the time now? She's done it three times in the last week. I.” He paused, “I miss her at night. When she's not sleeping somewhere I can see her, I get scared.” He looked up at her with those big, thoughtful eyes, “Is that weird?”

“No, kiddo, it's not weird. Look, I'm supposed to be getting Clem a drink of water, I'm sure she can tell you.”

But as she began walking away, he fell into step beside her.

“I'm worried I'm not actually strong, or brave, or able to control my anger. Maybe Clementine has just tricked me into thinking I am by always knowing what to say to get me to feel better.”

“I think I know what you mean, but no, Clementine knows you're brave. She's just reminding you.”

“And you don't think I'll stop being all those things if Clementine were to go away?”

Violet paused at that, thinking about what he meant by that. He definitely knew about death, he couldn't mean go away as a euphemism for death, could he?

“What do you mean go away? Clementine isn't going anywhere.”

“We came from Richmond a long time ago. They're involved in this big war thing going on. I could tell from what Javier was saying. She might go, to fight against the people who are really monsters. But I don't want to leave. Castle Violet is my home now. Even if she goes, I want to stay and protect it.”

“Hey kid, I'm worried about a war too, but you heard what Lilly was saying back on the boat. The people who were fighting with Delta wanted what they had, power, hot water, excess food, tobacco. We don't have anything to take here, so there's no reason for anyone to attack us.”

“But Clementine might go fight in a war anyway. If she does, and you and Louis and Willy go with, I might be lonely here.”

Violet wondered at the social calculus that led him to think that would be the list of people following Clementine to war, but instead of asking about it, she tried to answer his question.

“I don't think Clementine is going away to fight, but if she does, she'll come back to you. You'll only have to remind yourself you're strong and brave for a short time.”

“You don't know that.” he said seriously, but with a finality that Violet felt like she couldn't respond directly. They were at their water store, and Violet produced Clementine's canteen to be filled. Seeing something happening near the gate, she handed the filled canteen to AJ.

“Hey, do you mind taking this back to Clem? I'm going to see what's happening.”

AJ accepted the canteen and trotted off, a worried look over his shoulder as he disappeared into the dorms.

Violet made her way to the gate, drawing her pistol from her back waistband as she walked. Aasim was already at the gate, and Omar was climbing down from the watchtower.

“What's going on?” 

“It looks like something's stirring up the walkers. Some of them are headed this way.”

Violet looked, and confirmed they were right. Maybe about forty, fifty walkers were agitated, and heading towards them.

“Double check the gates, are they barred?”

“Of course they are. We're never that careless.”

“The traps all okay? That should thin their numbers a little.”

“Of course they are Vi, but there's more walkers than there are traps. We need to decide what we're going to do.”

“Clem should be here in a sec, I sent AJ for her.”

“We can't wait for Clementine, or we'll be under siege here, and won't be able to leave until the herd clears.”

“Fuck. Okay, open the gate, I'm going to try drawing them in another direction. Get out of sight.”

The gates opened and she dashed through them, cutting through the forest edge and stumbling off the path. An unseen walker lunged at her and she slipped out of the way and kept running. She lept over a fallen tree trunk and turned back. Three were following her, but the rest of the herd still seemed interested in the school, where they no doubt smelled humans. Some noise ought to do the trick. She raised her handgun and fired at the closest of the three. She missed the head the first time, and fired again, laying it back, unmoving. 

The group began to split off, heading towards her, but some were already at the gate. She also heard some hissing in the forest behind her. She fired twice more, killing the other two who had been close to the fallen log and she took off at a run directly away from the school gates. They were following her, or at least enough of them that the herd was on the move. The school was safe from being overrun. Now she just had to give them the slip without dying herself. She gained some distance on them, and then turned perpendicular to her previous direction again, slowing to a jog. She looked around for some kind of safe place to wait and observe the walkers, and spied a rocky bluff that looked like it needed skill to climb. She holstered her handgun again and began her ascent. From higher up, she should be able to track the progress of the herd, and descend again when it was safe, loop back to the school, no problem at all.

A handhold from the top, she heard the click of a gun being armed, and her blood went cold. This bluff was indeed safe from walker attack, but that also made it an ideal campsite. Like for a group of malicious strangers. She looked up, and before she knew anything else, a hand grabbed the back of her jacket and lifted her like a doll and brought her down in the center of a ring of survivors, several pointing guns at her.

“Not what we expected, honestly, but fortuitous nonetheless.” A man with a red baseball cap and a toothpick stepped into the circle.

“Ugh, who talks like that?” Violet said, feeling her heart hammer in her chest facing down the barrels in front of her. The man in the red cap sighed, held his toothpick between thumb and forefinger, and lashed out with his boot at her. She flinched in anticipation, but he hadn't actually kicked her. He had just feinted, and she had fallen for it. 

“That's enough acting tough, isn't it? Be reasonable. Take her gun Gerry.” and he turned away from her. One of the men, a round, balding man with an orange flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows, revealing thick black hair over dark beige skin had her gun away from her in the blink of an eye. Violet cast her eyes about for some escape, or some way to turn the tables, but saw only hard faces and gunmetal everywhere she looked.

“Calm down, we're not going to hurt you.” Gerry said. Violet saw the survivors begin to holster their weapons. Gerry ejected the magazine of Violet's handgun and removed the bullet from the chamber. He whistled.

“You got a spare magazine?” He asked. Violet stayed silent. Gerry sighed, “Listen, girly, I'm going to have to search you for weapons, It'd be easier if you volunteered anything you've got on you, so I'm not digging around in your pockets, and I can just frisk you.”

Violet thought about the man putting his hands on her and went white. She still hadn't gotten her mind around the fact of her capture, but the prospect of being touched by a stranger was suddenly more than she could handle.

“Gerry, she's scared you're gonna put your slimy mitts all over her. Let her breathe a second.” a woman's voice cut in. A giant of a woman entered Violet's view, standing over the kneeling Gerry. She had long walnut colored hair and rosy cheeks emerging out of her pale skin. She kind of looked like a grown up Ruby, if she grew to over six feet tall. She was clad in a one piece camo jumpsuit and had a huge belt with various kinds of ammunition haphazardly attached in one way or another. She extended a hand to Violet. “'ere girl. Get up.”

Violet stood on her own, “I have a cleaver. I'm going to pull it out now. It's my only other weapon.” She took it out, holding it between thumb and forefinger, wary of itchy trigger fingers, and let the woman take it from her.

“Great, now if you'd prefer a woman search you, I'll do that now. You don't have to let Gerry molest you.”

“Hey!” Gerry said, “You're making me seem like some creepy weirdo.” He flashed a look at Violet of mixed annoyance and desperation, “I wasn't going to... molest you.” The woman laughed “God, Gerry, I'm just messing with you.” She put Violet's cleaver away and efficiently brushed down the sides of Violet's clothing as she talked.

“I'm Sue. You've met Gerry, and our leader is Ted. What's your name, sweetheart?” She asked.

“Violet.” She said after a pause, deciding she didn't gain anything holding that back. She looked around at the camp. There were four other survivors, but they didn't look as hard-bitten as they did when they were all pointing guns at her. One was a teen, younger than her.

“Well, Violet, what were you thinking, running out into the middle of a group of walkers with two goddamn bullets?” Gerry asked, holding the nearly empty magazine before her like an accusation.

Violet turned her head away, “Return me to my people.” She said, attempting defiance, but sounding closer to pitiable to her own ears.

“That's the plan sweetheart.” The man with the red baseball cap, Ted, had returned. “We're going to have a conversation with your friends, and this time, I hope to get some real answers out of that tight lipped little bitch.” 

Violet narrowed her eyes at him calling Clementine a bitch, but knew not to test a group of raiders.

The group departed, marching Violet along with them. Violet was attentive to them, trying to learn as much as she could about them, and readying herself to make a move, if she had the opportunity. She noticed the group moved together through the brush, stopping and starting while covering each other.

“You guys Ex-Military?” she asked, trying to sound amused and not curious.

“Shut up.” Sue said, her voice sharp and quiet. She had lost the almost friendly air she had in the camp on the ridge.

Violet didn't try to reengage and continued looking around as they went, trying to count guns, spot weaknesses, whatever she could find. Looking behind her, she noticed the teenager was unarmed, and seemed to be tailing behind, unassociated with the team movement of the rest of the group. He seemed out of place, and Violet stared at him for a moment before Sue started to get annoyed with her and she trotted back to her place at the center of the movement.

When the group made it to within sight of the gates, Violet was ushered forward as a human shield in front of Ted, while the other members of the group split into a rough semicircle among the trees. Behind the barred gates stood Clementine, a bow in hand, arrow knocked, looking very cross.

“Let her go.” She said in a low growl.

“Glad I've got your attention. I fully intend to let your friend go. I've just got a few questions to ask you that I didn't get around to asking last time.”

“Let her go first. I'll be happy to have a long conversation with you after that.”

“How about a trade? You drop your weapons and come out with the kid named AJ, let us take you both in, we let Violet here go. She's not involved directly, and we're happy to cut her loose.” Clementine was surprised to hear that, and looked like she was considering it.

“Don't do it Clem! There's more in the trees!”

“Goddamn it, shut up, Violet. Play like you're a hostage or something.” Ted said in an annoyed tone, but just shook her slightly.

Clementine held her knocked arrow against the bow with her forefinger and spread her hand in a gesture of momentary truce and said, “What do you want from us?”

“Well, first, I'd like to know if there's an AJ here. Could he show himself?”

After a moment of stillness, Ted tightened his grip on Violet's arm, pulling it into a painful position. “I'm about done waiting, kids. Show yourself. I know you're in there.”

AJ revealed himself waiting in the watchtower, looking down at the red capped man with pure rage. “I'm AJ. Let her go.”

“God, you fucking kids are a broken record. Okay, question two: Clementine, are you the leader of this group?”

“Yeah. And I don't let people hurt my people and get away with it.” She said

“Fucking Aces, okay, maybe last question now, aren't you excited?” He chuckled. Clementine stared daggers at the man.

“You jokers been in the mountains across the river, raiding camps lately?” 

Clementine and Violet both stiffened suddenly.

“I'll take that as a 'yes'. Now, since you've basically admitted it, you want to save everyone a lot of trouble and come out here? I ain't got nothing against the peaceful members of a community when their leaders turn to raiding, so Violet my dear, you may just get out of this one yet. However, if your leader isn't ready to give herself up, well... no one's really a bystander in a raider camp.” And his grip tightened again. Violet yelped in pain as she struggled uselessly.

“Wait, you don't understand. That was a bad situation. I didn't mean to...”

“I must be mishearing you because that didn't sound like, 'I surrender' to me.” He turned his grip into a choker hold, and said in a voice full of malice, “I can kill this girl with my bare hands if you want, but I really don't want to. Tell me what I need to hear.” Violet's pained sounds grew suddenly very sharp.

“Fine, you win, just please let her go!” Clementine screamed, throwing aside her bow and rushing to the gates.

As swiftly as he had gone vicious, Ted untangled his arms from Violet and held her neutrally at the shoulder. Violet gasped huge lungfuls of air and coughed painfully.

“Good job leader. You're ahead of ninety percent of the scum I deal with, so you've earned my respect.”

“Fuck you.” Clementine said.

Violet caught her breath and shook her head, wild eyed and pleading at Clementine.

“No, Clementine, you promised you wouldn't be a shield for us. You can't do this. I'd die without you, let me die for you.” She felt the hot tears on her cheeks and felt like she was raving, but she couldn't be the thing that brought Clementine to her death. Clementine shook her head sadly and smiled.

“Sorry Vi. I'm not going to do that.” and she unbarred the gate. She left the safety of the walls, and shut it behind her. She walked slowly over to the two, an expression of fear and sadness in her eyes. When she came to within arm's length of Ted, he released Violet and nodded to Clementine.

“Well, let's get going.” and pointed down the path and into the forest.

“Wait. Let me at least say goodbye.” Clementine said. Ted shrugged, nodded and pulled his toothpick out of his vest pocket. 

Clementine and Violet clasped together. Ted raised his eyebrows and looked away in respect.

“I'm gonna find a way to save you.”

“Stop.”

“There's five of them, but I can't let them take you. I'll...”

“Violet, Stop. It's going to be alright. I've got a good feeling about this. I'll be seeing you again real soon.” She hesitated, “But... If not, if I'm wrong, I love you. I'll love you until I die.”

“No, no, they don't get to hear the first time we say it. Don't say it like you're not going to say it again.” Violet felt like she was about to hyperventilate. Clementine's hand was on her neck, on her shoulder. Her lips kissed away her tears as she shushed her to calm.

“I've gotta go now. Stay safe.” She said, with a final clasp of her hand and turned to go.

Clementine looked down at her bound hands. It was a knot too complex for her to untie, and too tight to slip out of. Her hands were at least tied in front of her, so it was possible to balance. The balding man inspected his work and nodded approvingly. 

“Don't worry, you shouldn't lose circulation, but let me know if your fingertips start to feel cold or tingly.”

“Gerry here has tied lots of little girls up, he's the expert.” a giant of a woman said brightly, clapping her on the shoulder in mock comradarie, causing Clementine to stumble a little.

“Damnit Sue, stop making me seem like a sex criminal. Someday we're going to meet an overprotective dad and he's going to kill me, and you're going to feel really bad about it.” he shook his head and addressed Clementine, “I'm not going to hurt you. You can relax.” Clementine felt weird. The two of them had a report, and were talking to her, but seemed uninterested in her, like she was background to their antics together. A non-person prop in a comedy routine.

“Well, we might kill her. You can't really say that.”

“Did you see those waterworks at the gate? No way someone doesn't toss a sympathy vote for her over that.”

“Oh yeah, is it going to be you? Gonna head back to your bunk thinking about them? Did you have a lot of lesbian porn on your computer before all this? And remember, you can't lie to another Ranger.”

That got Clementine's attention.

“You guys are the Blue Ridge Rangers?” the two of them looked at her at the same time.

“Hey Gerry, we're famous! Hey kid, what do you know about the Blue Ridge Rangers? What daring exploits are we known for?” the woman asked, excited, and for the first time, seeming to actually see Clementine at all.

“Uh... I've just heard the name. I don't know anything about you.” Sue looked disappointed and Gerry started laughing.

“Right, and we're going to keep it that way for now. We'd better get moving before her followers decide to try their luck. Let's get back to camp. We can start the trial there.” Ted inserted himself into the repartee like a falling icicle, snapping the two back to professionalism. The line dangling from Clementine's bound hands was taken up by one of the other Rangers and the group set off. A million things were bouncing around Clementine's head. Something was strange about these survivors. They didn't seem like Delta, or Carver's group. She wondered if Amy and Jas were members of the group, and they had come for revenge, but looking at Sue and Gerry, they were awfully well fed and equipped relative to Amy and Jas. 

“How do you know so much about what happened at the ski lodge?”

“Shut up, girl.” Ted replied, without malice, like it was a question he was expecting, and responding wasn't worth his time. Clementine looked down, focusing on her balance as she walked unaided. She thought about complaining, but imagined it would only earn her another 'shut up, girl' out of them.

When they arrived at the ridge, she needed to be hoisted up into their camp, because she could not climb with her hands tied. She was ungently deposited in the center of their ring of tents. She climbed painfully to her knees and struggled to her feet. She wondered if she was ever going to see her beloved crutches again.

Ted entered the camp last, and was visibly surprised to see Clementine on her feet. He gestured to a rock and said, “Have a seat. This might take a while. Whatever you think of us, at least believe we're thorough.”

Clementine looked with steely eyes back at him. “I'd rather stand.”

He paused several moments longer than were natural, then shrugged, “Suit yourself.”

“What do you want with me? Who are you people?” Clementine said boldly.

“We're the people who are going to be asking the questions today. We're the Blue Ridge Rangers, and I guess you could call us peacekeepers. We get supplied by peaceful communities throughout Appalachia, and in return we protect those communities from raiders.”

“Well, I'm not a raider.” 

“Got a witness like to disagree.”

“Who, Chad? Sarah? What did they tell you?”

Ted was quiet for a moment.

“Chad, if you'd like to come out, I think our prisoner has earned the right to face her accuser.”

The orange letterman jacket wearing teen emerged into the camp, where he nervously looked at Clementine, his expression an unreadable mix of emotions. Clementine glared daggers at the boy, starting to understand what had happened.

“I don't know what he told you, but what happened at the ski lodge was just a bad situation. I didn't come there to steal anything from anyone. They were the ones who attacked me.”

“That's a lie!” Chad cried. Ted held up a hand to Chad, cutting him off.

“We've been told Chad's side of the story. I'd like to hear your version of events. We'll judge who's closer to the truth, and then we'll deliberate.”

Clementine instead turned to Chad again, “Where's Sarah? Is she still on the road to Richmond? Did you leave her alone out there to try and get revenge?” 

“I don't have to answer to you!” Chad spit again. Ted stood forward aggressively, “He's right,” he said, “I'm asking you one last time to use your one chance to defend yourself. If you don't, and just keep muddying the waters, I'm gonna assume you're ready to say whatever you think you can get away with, and I'll not have that.” He sucked hard on the toothpick, betraying some annoyance.

Clementine took a deep breath, then another. She knew now how she would get out of this situation, and for once it might not require anyone die. She might get to see Violet again. But it would require convincing these people that they have the facts exactly backward, and that meant being the most convincing version of herself that she could be. She opened her mouth and began to speak.

She talked of how she heard about the ski lodge in the first place, of her journey there. She told of how she had noticed the sign missing, and had decided to continue anyway. She told of coming within sight of the lodge, and seeing their lookout, and deciding to turn away. Chad tried to jump in at that point, but was held at bay with a stern look from Ted. She continued to tell of her and AJ's capture, of her plea to trade, or to let them go, of being marched up the rotten stairs, of being threatened, of the desperate struggle that killed the two adults, and finally, her giving Chad and Sarah the map, and the advice to go to Richmond. She waited expectantly for some response.

“Exactly when was the first time you met Chad?”

“Outside the lodge, at the edge of the clearing where Amy got the drop on us.”

“And where was this Sarah during all this?” 

“I don't know. She showed up while we were amputating Jas' leg, and just stood and watched.”

“She's making it up. I have no idea why.” Chad butted in.

“Where's Sarah, Chad?” Clementine shot at him. “What did you do to her?” she was assuming Chad had omitted her from his account for some reason, and whatever that reason was, she had to get him to reveal.

“Shut the fuck up, bitch, you're the one answering questions right now.” Chad shot with some venom. Clementine felt like this wasn't how Chad had acted before, and changed her tone to concern.

“Oh shit, did something happen on the road? Did a walker get her? Is she okay?”

“She doesn't fucking exist! I don't know what you're talking about!” Chad all but shouted, and realized too late that he was the one drawing suspicious looks.

“Now's our time to question Clementine, not our friend Chad here, but rest assured, young man, we're going to ask a fair few questions about this 'Sarah' when we're done.” Ted said. “To return to our questions, what did you take from the group at the Ski lodge, and why?”

“We took the snow gear from the lodge, they didn't have much of anything to take. We even gave them our food.”

“What about my aunt's revolver?” Chad threw in. Clementine schooled her face to stillness, she had forgotten to mention that.

“Chad, we're the ones conducting the trial here.” Ted signaled quiet to the boy, with clear annoyance in his tone, and then calmly turned back to Clementine, “Where is the revolver now?”

“It's in the school.” Clementine said, “We took it too.” she looked down, regretting that theft now. “I forgot to mention that. We left them their rifle though. It had more ammunition, and would be easier to use.”

“So your defense against an accusation of theft, is that you did steal it, but you didn't steal something else?” Ted asked, inspecting his toothpick as if it had the answers he was looking for.

“I did what I thought was right at the time. I did what I thought was necessary to protect my people, and to give the two who had given me the chance to spare them, the best possible chance to survive.”

“And Chad having the revolver wouldn't have given them a better chance to survive still?”

“Honestly, no.” Clementine felt herself rising. “I can barely handle that thing, and I'm much stronger than he is. He couldn't use it effectively, and trying could have hurt him. Rifles are more accurate.” Ted sucked his teeth and looked at Gerry. The two exchanged looks in silent communication that Clementine couldn't pick up on. Ted rolled his eyes.

“Okay, enough about the revolver. Let's talk about Richmond. Do you mean Richmond Virginia?”

“I think so. It was an old world city before. The people living there managed to make a settlement inside a city, and make it safe.” Clementine said.

“And you suggested to two kids that they hike almost a hundred miles on foot to get there? What makes you think they'd survive the trip?” Gerry jumped in suddenly, quiet until now. Clementine shrugged, “I've been on the road since I was younger than them. I gave them a map and good directions. I had confidence they'd be able to make it.”

“And why did you send them there, and not somewhere else?”

“It's the only place I know of where the people are friendly. Where they'd take them in and take care of them.”

A quiet descended. No more questions were being asked, Clementine felt herself growing nervous. She hadn't felt like she had done a fantastic job convincing them of her innocence, by admitting to basically everything. Ted nodded, “Sounds like we're out of questions for our suspect. Now, Chad, what's this about a Sarah, who doesn't exist?” his tone casual.

Chad backed up a step, “I don't know what to tell you, this bitch is just making shit up. Trying to make you think different.”

“Well then, if there were only three of you, why did you lay out four sets of bedding at the lodge?” Ted's intense expression was rapidly returning.

“We, uh, we didn't. They were already there when we got there. We just didn't put the fourth away. We had bigger worries.”

“Okay, but when she omitted the revolver from her story, you were mighty keen to jump in, let us know of the error. When she said she left you a rifle instead, you were quiet. Why is that?”

“No, because, see... listen, she said she took the revolver. That's raiding. She killed my aunt and uncle, and stole something. That's the whole crime. I don't need to defend myself here. I'm the victim!”

“Quiet down, young man, you'll drown us in walkers.” Sue put in, looking at the woods around them. He cut his tone to a low one, looking ashamed, but just as angry. 

“She has already admitted it, it's time you carry out her sentence, if you really are Justice in Appalachia.”

“Don't dare tell us what to do, kid.” Ted was calm, “Do you think we'd find a rifle that meets the description if we searched her compound?”

“Yeah, of course.” Chad lied. It sounded like a lie to Clementine.

“Take us back there. I'll tell them to let you in, search the place. You won't find it.”

“Thank you Clementine, but there's no need for that.” Ted said easily, “Now please don't talk until we're done here.” Clementine shut up.

“See, I'm starting to get a pretty clear picture in my head of what happened after the lodge. Your sister wanted to go to Richmond, you wanted revenge. So you went after us with a story that made Clementine and AJ out to be total monsters, with the hope we'd come here and kill them for you. Does that sound plausible?”

“N-no! I swear, she's got in your heads, you have to believe me, she's dangerous.”

“Well, then why is it that her version of events lines up so much better with the evidence? Your uncle died because of an amputation of his foot, and was put down after rising. Why in Christ would they have decided to kill him that way?”

“To... to torture him. They wanted him to give up more hidden supplies. He died refusing to tell them where I was hidden.”

“See, I usually think of torture as something that won't immediately kill someone. If it's a threat of amputation, maybe start with a finger?”

“Look, I don't know. She's got a peg leg. Maybe she's one of those psychos who are obsessed with their own injury, and want others to suffer like she does.”

“Okay, so where did that scratch on your hand come from, if you were hidden the whole time?”

“I, I was injured in the woods, finding you guys.”

“Smart of you to take some strips of bedding with you from the lodge, in case you got injured later.”

Chad was silent. He looked away, jutting his chin in defiant proudness.

“I'm ready to deliberate. What about y'all?” Ted asked his group. A chorus of nods and affirmatives went around. They picked themselves up and made their way to the other side of camp, chatting amiably among themselves. Clementine, bound by the lead from her wrists to a tree, looked at Chad, who was looking quite threateningly at her. He stepped toward her.

“What are you doing Chad?” she asked.

“I think you just about convinced them.” He said, stepping closer still. “That means, in a few seconds, they're going to come back and set you free.”

“Chad, what happened to you? You weren't like this at the Ski lodge.” Clementine backed away from him as far as her bonds would allow.

“Sarah didn't want to find the Rangers. She wanted to do what you said, join up with Richmond. I insisted we had to get our revenge. She left in the middle of the night. On her own. I wasn't able to protect her, and by now she's almost certainly dead.” He produced a knife from behind his back. “You killed her.” he took another step forward, “You killed my aunt and uncle.” he was close enough to stab her now, “When the Rangers come back, believing you, you'll have killed me too.”

“Not if I kill you first.” AJ's voice approached from behind. Clementine looked to see him, gun pointed firmly at Chad. Violet approached from another direction and set to work on the ropes binding her. Chad dropped his knife and smiled, backing up with hands raised. Clementine pulled her bonds away from Violet, who was about to cut them.

“Wait, guys, hold on a second.”

“We have to get you out of here.” Violet said, “They could be back any second.”

“No, I'm not leaving.” Clementine said, still holding herself away from Violet.

“What are you talking about? We're going, now.” Violet sounded frustrated.

The Rangers reemerged from the far side of the camp, four of them with guns trained on the new arrivals. Ted walked unarmed as usual, seeming unsurprised at the new arrivals, and seemed promptly to ignore their presence. AJ calmly retrained his aim at one of the Rangers, unfazed. Ted looked at the knife at Clementine's feet.

“Chad, would you like to tell us what that is?”

“She drew it as soon as your backs were turned. I came at her to try and take it from her, when her goons arrived. It was an escape attempt. Clearly she's guilty.”

“Hmm... pretty sure Gerry frisked her. Gerry, did she have a giant fuckoff knife on her?”

“No sir.”

“Well Chad, I've got to say I'm disappointed in you. I was half tempted to rule this whole situation a wash. A time when people are all wrong together in equal measure, and we just all walk away from it unhappy, but move on with our lives. Maybe you were lying a little bit, or maybe it was just your perpsective. But trying to murder a helpless person, that tips the scales. In the time before, some people used cops to murder people they didn't like by calling and claiming their target had hostages, and were armed. You're like those people. Admit it, and I'll maybe let you live.”

“I didn't- I wouldn't. She actually killed people! She said so herself! I maybe embellished a little, but she admitted to it!” As soon as Chad finished talking, Ted pounced.

“You fucking slime!” he said, grappling the younger man, “We might have killed someone innocent because of you.” he forced the boy to the ground, “We'll take your tongue, so it never happens again.”

Violet and AJ were shocked, silenced, and not sure how to react to this sudden turn of events. Chad screamed and writhed under Ted, panicked and wild. All the other Blue Ridge Rangers watched on impassively, except Gerry, who gathered a set of tongs with obvious purpose.

“Wait!” Clementine said, “I forgive him. Let us take him in with us. I'll be responsible for him.”

Everyone stopped, even Chad, face down in the dirt.

“Enough maiming people. We can talk it out. We can move on from the mistakes of the past.”  
A beat passed, and Ted stood, casual as before, and nodded to the Rangers, who immediately stood down, holstering and slinging weapons. Gerry approached Clementine, in spite of AJ still holding his pistol at the ready.

“Congratulations, you're a free woman.” he said as he began untying her wrist restraints. Violet and AJ were embracing her, and telling her how relieved they were that she was safe, but all she could see was Chad, still kneeling in the dirt, looking at her with angry eyes.


	9. Chains

The demeanor of Ted and his followers completely changed with the verdict. Ted laughed and chatted amiably with AJ and Violet on the walk back to Castle Violet. Clementine was vaguely engaged by one of the other Rangers, an older guy named Bill who was telling her meandering stories about his uncle from the time before, who used a wheelchair to get around. Presumably because of Clementine's foot. Even Chad, who had inherited Clementine's restraints, was treated normally. It felt hard to remember that this group had seemed so threatening just minutes earlier. 

“And so the restaurant said, 'we can seat you outside' but it was blustery that day. Now, when I say blustery, I don't mean a bit windy. I mean, take yer hat off blustery. Can ye believe that?” Bill asked her. Clementine, who didn't quite understand the point of the story said, “Yeah.” vaguely. Then, realizing it was the wrong affirmative, said, “I mean, yeah, that's ridiculous.” her attention being drawn to Ted talking with Violet, which she could just barely overhear seemed to be about the Rangers, and their purpose. She grinned at Bill, trying to be polite.

She had invited the Rangers to stay with them, rest up in the safety of the walls before they departed. Part of her wanted to keep them at arm's length, even ask for them to move on out of their territory immediately, but her instinct said they would be better allies than enemies, if she could manage that. For their part, they seemed willing to meet her halfway. They returned Violet's handgun, its magazine fully reloaded. A gift, Sue said, for a warrior ballsy enough to go against a herd with only 6 bullets.

She excused herself from the conversation with Bill and went to join Violet and Ted at the lead as the school came into view.

“Welcome to Castle Violet.” Clementine said, then raised her voice to address Omar and Aasim, “Open up. Turns out this was all a misunderstanding after all.”

Omar, looking down from the watchtower with a rifle in hand, frowned, looking more skeptical than Clementine had ever seen him. “You sure?” Clementine looked sideways to Ted, who grinned innocently.

“Yeah. These are the good guys.” AJ said confidently, through a satisfied smile. Clementine frowned, remembering when AJ learned about the police, from the time before. She sometimes felt uncomfortable about his attraction to brutal justice.

Omar didn't move for a second, but when Clementine gave a nod, said, “If you say so.” and lowered the rifle, keeping it in hand. Aasim, following Omar's lead, unbarred the gate for them. The group streamed in, clumping around the middle of the courtyard awkwardly. Clementine made a beeline for her crutches, still propped up against a picnic table. She sat on the bench and removed her prosthetic foot with a satisfied grunt. She massaged the end of her leg before finally standing again.

Ted and his group were looking around at the walls and buildings that made up their compound. Without their deadly purpose, they seemed out of place, shy even.

“Nice defenses. Walls basically impenetrable, gate leading to a killzone. Can't advance without being flanked, can't outflank without leaving cover.” Ted said, “Don't take this the wrong way, but you'da killed one of us, if we had attacked. Maybe two.”

“Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd have killed all of you, if you had attacked.” Clementine said, but she was surprised to find she was smiling. Ted chuckled, and gestured with his toothpick at her. “I'm glad we didn't attack either way.”

Clementine tried to send Violet and AJ to check on the traps, but they refused to leave her side, so Omar and Aasim had to take the chore on themselves. Bill and the final Ranger, Sheila, offered their help and the four departed together. They chose a dorm room for Chad, and confined him there for now.

Back at the courtyard, AJ sat next to Clementine, half draped over her, half staring at the Rangers. Violet sat on her other side, and across the picnic table, Ted sat between Gerry and Sue. Ted spread his fingertips on the tabletop and leaned forward.

“I'd like to thank you for being so hospitable. We'd understand if you'd like us to move on sooner rather than later.” His real voice was coming through now, Clementine noticed. Before, his affect projected confidence and danger, but now he was almost deferential. 

“Yeah, I'm not imagining a long term stay, but if you guys really do take down raider groups, we'd be better off if we're on your good side.” Clementine said, stroking AJ's hair soothingly with one hand, the other clasped with Violet's under the table.

“I'm going to have to assure you, we don't play favorites. If you raid, really raid, it doesn't matter how much we like you, it's up to us to take you out.” Ted said, smiling wanly to take the edge off his threat. Violet squeezed her hand and turned to her,

“He was telling me on the way, the Blue Ridge Rangers are made up of volunteers from among a loose confederation of small settlements like this one. None of them are big enough to really defend themselves from the big groups, so they each give up one or two people to a fighting force that defends everyone.”

Sue nodded, “Yeah, and since we Rangers share equipment and resources in and among the groups, everyone gives what they can to keep us supplied. They don't want their own members going hungry after all. And sometimes, when a settlement hits hard times, we run deliveries out to them.”

“What stops this from being a protection racket?” Clementine asked neutrally, but Violet looked like she had just thrown a toad in Ted's lap. The Rangers were unbothered.

“Well, it's voluntary for one thing.” Gerry said, “Any one of our compact could recall their members, stop giving food, weapons, and shelter to Rangers, and we'll still go after whatever raider groups are active wherever we can reach. For each group that doesn't contribute any members, our reach gets that much smaller.”

“So too small, and even the selfish groups could endanger themselves? So no one has to, but everyone wants to?” Violet asked, her tone careful. Clementine could tell she was extremely interested, but trying to hide it. She was worried suddenly, with what Violet must be thinking.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Sue chimed in brightly, unaware of Clementine's rapidly darkening mood.

“Seems like we're pretty far out of your area if you operate out of Appalachia.” Clementine said, “What brought you up here?”

“Well, you're a bit outside our normal ranging zone, but Kelsey's group isn't that far south from here. What do they call themselves? Springrock? Springwater?” Gerry asked, looking to Ted.

“Springsdale” Ted said, “Yeah, we're not exclusively Appalachia by charter. The more who join, the less area we need to actively patrol.” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as if he hadn't even considered what he was about to ask, even though it was obvious. 

“Listen, I know this is a lot to ask, but we're always looking for new members, and if you know about Delta, you know how dangerous groups like them are for little settlements like this one.”

“We've got no one to spare here as a recruit. We're all dependent on each other in one way or another.”

“I could go.” AJ piped in suddenly. Ted grinned at the kid, but Clementine shook her head at him. AJ looked disappointedly down at his hands.

“We appreciate your enthusiasm, but one of our founding charter rules is 'no child soldiers'.” Ted said, looking more at Clementine than at AJ, testing her reaction and emphasizing his earnestness.

“What's your definition of 'child'? I feel like you can't exactly put me on trial as a raider, then turn around and say I'm not old enough to fight on your side.” Clementine said, maybe a little too accusatorially. Ted held up his hands,

“I'm the first to admit, what we do is a hard moral tightrope to walk. We're trying to walk it though.” He looked at Violet, clearly about to say something, but noticing Clementine's expression and looking away innocently. Violet squeezed Clementine's hand under the table and let go, leaning forward, hunching over the table in her typical fashion.

“If we were to join the compact, would it be possible to substitute a recruit for some other service?” She asked, Ted shrugged.

“Like I said, this whole deal is voluntary. If you've got something useful you want to contribute, anything at all, great. If not, we'll still try and protect you from raiders, if we can. There are groups in our ranging zone who are all eighty years old. We don't look down on them not coming out to scrap in the streets.” He rolled his toothpick around his teeth for a second, “That said, you are a bit further out than most of our other members...” 

“So you're saying you aren't able to protect us now, but might be able to if we contribute recruits?” Clementine asked, struggling to keep her tone even. She was getting angry, because it seemed so clear to her that they were manipulating them, but Violet was falling for it.

“They could just be scouts.” Gerry said, screwing up his face in an exaggerated expression of appraisal. Ted sighed and shot a glance sideways at him. 

“That's what I was getting around to, Gerry. Of course they should be scouts. I'm just... going the long way around to the suggestion.” He said. He turned back to them with a smile.

“What's killer about protecting people out here isn't the fighting, it's the distance. We could walk a week and not do a full circle of these woods. We could have a fireteam wander around full time in your territory and still not protect you from a dedicated raider crew slipping past.”

“I understand. What do you mean by 'scout'?” Clementine interrupted.

“Scouts are the answer to this problem. Singular people, in the community, with their ears to the ground and eyes out for trouble... with a radio that can reach the next community. Run a message out to the closest fireteam of Rangers. Let them know what's up. We deal with it.”

“So what's required of these 'scouts'? How would we become one?” Violet said, not holding back her enthusiasm anymore, deliberately not looking at Clementine, it seemed.

“Well, every Ranger is a marksman, and to be a Scout, you'd have to be a Ranger. You'd have to come to the Ranger Lodge as a recruit for training. What is it, ten weeks?” Ted asked, looking at Sue.

“Ten weeks plus two for scout training. Gotta learn how to use the long range radio relay equipment.”

“Then you're back here, able to protect your friends.” Ted said with some of his smug cadence from before. Clementine gave him an overly polite grin.

“I'm sorry, excuse me for a second. Violet, can I talk to you?” She rose, depositing AJ on the bench suddenly, wrestling with her crutches to get up. It took a frustratingly long time to clear the bench. It felt even worse because Violet, AJ, and the Rangers all waited patiently, looking on impassively as if this was normal, and Clementine just grew more frustrated and uncoordinated in her frustration. Finally, she managed to stand and free herself and her crutches from the bench. The two of them walked some distance away. They turned to face each other at the doorway to administration. Violet hunched, looking left or right, and not at Clementine at all, her arms crossed. 

Clementine didn't want to start talking now that they were at this point. Now that she was here, she just wanted to be held by the other girl, to be told it was all going to be alright now. That they had lived through another situation where either could have died in an instant. And all this the morning after their first time having sex. In another life, they were still splayed out in a sun drenched bedroom, giggling and talking and filling their entire lives with just each other. Now, instead, they were about to have another fight.

“Vi, I-” “What-” They cut each other off.

“Go ahead.” Clementine said after a pause. Violet shrugged in a way that threw up her hands a little bit.

“Why don't we skip doing this and you just tell me what you decide?” She said. Clementine narrowed her eyes at Violet's tone.

“Excuse me, what exactly are we doing?”

“We're doing the thing where I tell you what I think is a good idea, and you decide to do something else.”

“I thought we were past the thing about the books.”

“No, you were right about that, but I'm not exactly thrilled that I can already tell we're going down that same road here.”

“Damnit Violet, we don't have to be. I'm not-” She gulped, “Maybe I'm not exactly thinking straight, but maybe I shouldn't have to think straight right this second.”

“Clem, hey...” Violet reached halfway across the gap between them, finally looking at her, if only askance. Clementine took Violet's outstretched hand and held it against her chest, fighting tears suddenly.

“I thought I might be saying goodbye to you for good, and minutes later, we're walking home like everything's normal, but then the same people who might have killed me suggest that maybe, just maybe, they've got an opening if someone wants to volunteer and you're ready to join up, just like that.”

“It doesn't have to be me who goes. The compact they talk about sounds really-”

“I know it's what you really want. I can tell. I think I'm really getting to know you.”

Finally the ice between them melted, and they really smiled together. Violet's hand crept up from Clementine's sternum to cup her cheek.

“It's gotta be me. I want it to be me. I'm going to miss you like crazy, but I need to be able to protect you. This is how I can do that.”

“I don't need you to protect me, I can take care of myself.” Clementine said.

“I know you don't need it. I need it. Before, at the gate, when Ted traded me for you. You were never going to let me die for you. I'm not going to let you die for me either.” Violet said, pulling herself closer to Clementine, because she didn't want to unbalance the other girl.

“I'm your leader, not your absolute dictator. I can't stop you from going, even if I wanted to. I'm... uncomfortable with the idea that you're going to be trained to be a soldier. I've known too many survivalist groups who have modeled themselves after old world militaries, and they've solved all their problems with force, and eventually, I have to kill them all.” Clementine said gravelly, a far away look in her eyes.

“Does that really seem like the Rangers to you?”

“I don't know the Rangers, not really. Not yet. Look, if these guys are who they say they are, great. Just keep your eyes on them. Maybe by the time they're ready to leave, we'll have a better idea.”

Violet nodded after a moment, smiling her tiny smile that Clementine loved so much. “Yeah. If they're jerks, no way am I dealing with their shit for three months. Let's see what we can learn, and then make our decision.” 

Clementine could tell the other girl just wanted her to come around. Violet herself was already convinced. Clementine smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, in a couple days, things might be clearer.”

They returned to the group, seeing AJ asking them all kinds of probing questions about their adventures. Ted trying to respond appropriately, clearly unused to interacting with children. Gerry and Sue laughing at him. He looked with relief at their return and said, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, Ted, thanks. Do you want us to show you to your rooms? Settle in a bit?”

The Rangers made themselves at home, choosing their rooms and preparing their bedding. They returned to the courtyard and began chopping wood, preparing the fire, and generally making themselves useful. Clementine had to appreciate their presence. After three days without Ruby, Willy, and Louis, the chores had been piling up. Once Omar and Aasim returned with the haul from the traps, she took the opportunity to go fishing with Violet. Happy finally to have time alone with her girlfriend, she enjoyed the warmth of the mottled sunlight through the leaves. She could feel the bone deep cold of the winter settling in just behind the warmth, and resolved to enjoy every instant they still had. Especially if Violet was going to be gone for 12 weeks soon. The cold felt colder, thinking about that.

They laughed and joked and kissed at the side of the river, not being productive at all in their fishing trip. It was finally, exactly the afternoon she wanted to have with Violet. Huddling together, fishing line in the water, the pole within reach, Violet cradled her. Violet ran her fingers through her hair idly, playfully soothing her curly hair and watching it spring back into its natural shape.

“Hey, do you still want me to cut your hair?” Violet asked

“Like, right now?” 

“Sure, I brought some scissors.” she pulled them out of her jacket pocket. “It's easier to cut hair when it's a little wet anyway.”she said, by way of an explanation for why she brought them. Clementine still laughed.

“Yeah, why not?” She sat up straighter. “Where do you want me?”

The two negotiated a comfortable seating position where Violet could get at all parts of Clementine's head. They talked about what she was looking for in the cut, and Violet got to work, first wetting the hair and then clipping at its edges. Clementine sighed in contentment. It was oddly intimate to have someone you love cutting your hair. She thought back to the gate, how she had said those words to Violet, and how Violet hadn't wanted to say them back.

“Hey, uh, I really enjoyed last night.” Violet said suddenly. Clementine blushed, her train of thought being totally derailed, “Uh, yeah, me too.” her mind flashed back to some particularly memorable images and feelings from the night before and bowed her head, blush deepening.

Violet gently corrected her head, tilting it back up before resuming her hair cut.

“Uh... Sorry, I guess it's kinda awkward to just start talking about it out of nowhere.” Violet said with an apologetic tone, snipping away smoothly.

“No, of course not. I like the idea of talking about it with you. In private.”

“Maybe... we could talk about it more tonight? In private?”

Clementine realized what she was really asking and had to calm herself. Her hands made fists around the loose denim of her jeans and she closed her eyes.

“I would love to, but...” she wished she could see Violet's expression, the girl was behind her, cleaning up the back, “...I think AJ is going to want me back in our room soon, and with the Rangers staying with us, I want to keep him in check, keep him safe, just in case, you know?”

“Yeah. Makes sense.” Violet's voice showed clear disappointment. “Ugh, sorry, forget I asked.”

“No, don't be sorry.” She turned, half-trimmed hair flopping about to Violet's consternation, “I'm really glad you asked. I want to... uh... talk about it with you more. A lot more. I just, maybe, maybe not tonight.” Violet nodded, and returned to her task. Curls fell all around her, and Clementine felt her head getting lighter and lighter. She wondered how much Violet intended to take off as the scissors snipped right above her ear.

“Louis and Ruby should be home by now.” Clementine said quietly, not really wanting to change the subject. Violet paused her haircutting and nodded.

“Yeah. They might have just gotten held up.” The two were silent for a time. “What do you think we should do? Send out a search party?”

“Maybe.” Clementine pursed her lips in thought. “Maybe this could be an opportunity to see how the Rangers react to a request for aid.”

“You want to test them?”

“Maybe a little. Let them prove themselves to us.”

“You really don't trust groups, do you?”

“I've seen a lot of groups like theirs, and they're always more attractive from the outside. Start by getting a lot of nice promises, then later on, you pay for it.”

“There, done.” Violet announced. Clementine's hands went to her scalp, not having a mirror handy, felt the shorn side and back, the asymmetrical cut as her wavy hair pulled to one side, cut just short enough that it didn't fall into her eyes, retaining enough of its curl that is poofed up a little as it flowed to the side. She could imagine it in her mind's eye and couldn't help saying, “Wow, cool.” She looked at Violet and asked, “Do you like it?”

“I would think I'd be bragging to say so, but yes, I really, really like it. Of course, I liked how you looked before. You're really, really pretty Clem.”

“Aww... you like me.” Clementine said, 

“Yeah, I really, really do.” Violet said. Clementine waited for more. Violet pulled back, “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” Clementine said, hoping it wasn't a lie. She looked away, trying not to look disappointed.

“Look, uh, we've caught a couple fish already. Want to head back?” Violet said, sensing the change in temperature. Clementine nodded and smiled, but the two shivered.

AJ thought her hair looked super cool, which was a relief for Clementine. She still hadn't seen it. The stew was bubbling, and Omar took the fish off their hands. Sheila and Bill looked around awkwardly, wanting to make themselves useful, but clearly having no idea what needed to be done. Gerry was talking with Aasim about something, demonstrating something to do with the rabbit skins. Ted was playing frenetically with his toothpick, glancing repeatedly at the stew pot. Violet disappeared someplace. Clementine sat opposite Ted, who sharply improved his posture and nodded politely.

“Hey...” she started, wanting to apologize, wanting to demand further assurances, then continued, “...smells good huh?” nodding toward the stew pot.

“Ho-ly hell it smells amazing. It's been a while since I've had a hot meal, and this one looks like a treat.” He looked at his hands, splayed out on the table. “I really appreciate you taking us in for the night. I know you don't trust us. It takes a lot of strength to open your doors at a time like this, and you definitely didn't owe us anything. So, thank you.”

“Don't worry about it.” Clementine said.

“If you don't mind me asking, why are you so resistant to joining us? Your values are clearly aligned with ours.” 

“I've heard that line before. I'm not big on joining groups. I've been disappointed too many times.” Clementine picked at the splintery wood under the edge of the tabletop.

“Ah, can't blame you much there. I'm not gonna tell you we're different, even if I think we are.”

Clementine waited, narrowing her eyes, waiting for his pitch to return, fully expecting him to continue. He continued sitting in silence, looking intermittently around, fidgeting. He noticed her looking expectantly at her and said, “What?” She shook her head,

“Nothing.” She said, and looked at the gate. Ted sucked his teeth slowly and hesitantly leaned forward.

“I seen you looking at that gate more than you're looking at the food. Who are you expecting?”

Clementine sighed, there really wasn't going to be a better time to ask, but she still didn't want to admit weakness to Ted. His grinning face looked slightly dopey across a picnic table, but it had been terrifying just a few hours ago. She studied his expression, kind, but with so much lethal intelligence behind his eyes. He reminded her of someone. She couldn't think of who. Finally, after an uncomfortable pause, she spoke.

“Two of our group went on an expedition. They should be back by now. I'm giving them until the morning, then I'm sending a search party.” She saw his ears perk up. “You're welcome to join us. It'd be easier with numbers.”

“Well, I'm pleased you asked. I'm definitely willing to help myself, but you'll need to ask my team as individuals. I believe in you kids, but some of us are as used to getting stabbed in the back as you are.”

“Can't you just order them to help?” Clementine said, Ted shook his head.

“I'm the leader, but I don't get to tell them what to do. Not like this.” 

He said it with finality, and Clementine felt compelled to leave it at that. She wished him a good meal and made her way to each Ranger to have the same conversation four more times.

By the time dinner was ready, she had secured the aid of Gerry and Bill. Sheila and Sue had opted to remain behind, but had volunteered for whatever tasks they could do around Castle Violet. Clementine felt like that was as good an outcome as she could expect, and began to plan the expedition. She didn't like the idea of being outnumbered in either the search team, or within the Castle walls. She was definitely staying, with her foot. Violet should go, she was good at moving over open ground. AJ should as well. Aasim wasn't worth much in a fight, but Omar was more valuable. She looked out over the gathered crew of Rangers, now spooning stew into their bowls and one by one finding their seats. She realized she could just ask people what they wanted to do.

Violet joined her, carrying both their bowls with her. AJ, Omar and Aasim sitting opposite them. Separated by group, each of the two tables held their own conversations. Clementine missed Louis fiercely then. She could imagine him coming up with one of his ridiculous card games to make the two groups mix. To create comraderie. They ate together, listening to AJ recount some anecdote he had gotten out of Bill that he found interesting for some reason, Aasim told about how Sheila had told him about how to cure rabbit pelts, although he needed salt, which they didn't have. They talked and shared the day with each other, but just a stone's throw away were the subjects of those stories, and no one even acknowledged it. 

Finally, with the sun having finished setting, and the glow of the fire providing most of the light in their courtyard, Clementine felt the weariness of the day set in. It had been a long one, and being safe and surrounded by friends, she felt like going to sleep where she sat. Then she remembered Chad. She snapped back to wakefulness, knowing her day still wasn't over yet. She turned to AJ.

“AJ, I need your help. I'm going to bring Chad his dinner. Can you help carry it?”

“Do I have to?” AJ asked, looking angry and sullen.

“Yes, child, you still have to do what I say sometimes.” She said, mock offended tone trying to soften her insistence. Cajoling him along without giving him a way to say no. She felt like being a parent was getting complicated, and hated to think what AJ was going to be like as a teenager. He stared into his bowl for a few seconds longer, and then stood up to follow her. He gathered a bowl of stew and spoon for Chad as Clementine situated herself on her crutches, and then the two set off for the dorms. Clementine waited until they were out of earshot of the group before she spoke,

“Hey, AJ, what do you think about us taking Chad in?”

“I think it was a mistake. You should have let Ted take his tongue. Let him go after that.”

“He probably would have died out there. With no support.”

“Good, let him pay for what he tried to do to you.” AJ said with no mercy in his voice.

“But then he would turn, and another walker at the wrong place and the wrong time could kill one of us.”

“Someone has to die to keep the herd healthy.” He said, almost flippantly.

“AJ, what do you mean?” She stopped, and pivoted to face him fully. He looked down at the soup, not facing her.

“It's like you said before, sometimes having walkers around is a good thing. Sometimes they protect us from something worse.” He said more tentatively, waiting for Clementine's response.

“I know, I said that, but I didn't mean we should keep walkers around forever, live in the world we are in as long as possible. I just meant, until we figure out how to build a better world, one without groups like Delta, we might need them for a little while longer. It's things like sparing Chad, teaching him how to live beyond the mistakes of his guardians, that gets us closer to that time.” She realized she was giving a speech, and cut herself off there. AJ nodded slowly. The two of them continued to Chad's room.

Chad was still tied to the bed, where he lay, clearly trying to find a comfortable spot with his hands tied. He looked at them as they entered, but turned his gaze back to the wall and did not move further.

“Hey, we brought you some stew. You're probably hungry by now.”

“I'm not eating until you let me go.” He said, muffled by his shoulder.

“Great, we can stop saving food for you. It's pretty hard to get enough food to feed everyone as it is. And you look like you're used to missing meals for a couple weeks at a time.” Clementine said. “Don't treat me like a softie just because I saved your worthless life. I'm not going to let you get away with your shit here.” She pulled the chair up from the desk, sat on it, and took the stew from AJ and deposited it on the dresser near the head of the bed.

“Now, I'm going to untie you. You're going to eat. You're going to listen to me talk for a little while, and then you're going to respond to what I said. Understand?”

He sat up, but looked at her with a defiant eye.

“The other way we do this is I dump the bowl out on the floor, where you can smell it all night, and you can eat it if you're not too proud, and we can do this again tomorrow.”

AJ grinned at the idea of him eating the food off the floor, and Clementine knew she had to temper herself. 

“I'd much rather we get to talk tonight, because once we have a discussion, we can figure out what to do with you. When you can leave here.” She tried to say it kindly. Chad finally sat up and mutely put his bonds before her, silently accepting her terms.

“Good.” she began undoing Gerry's knots, which was a lot more difficult than she thought it would be at first, and it took her several minutes. AJ suggested they cut him free just before she managed to figure it out. Chad began eating with a speed that betrayed his hunger, and Clementine felt bad about threatening to withhold food from him.

“So you have a lot of reason to hate me, and I'm not going to pretend intervening with the Rangers balances the scales in your mind. So we need to decide where we go from here.” She leaned back in the rickety chair. “I think there's basically two paths we can go down that you'll like, and then one I don't think either of us will like. First, we take a second try at getting you to Richmond. About one month from now, we're going to meet up with some of their leadership at a halfway point. They might be willing to take you the rest of the way if you tag along with us. What this would mean is you behave yourself, you do the odd helpful act here and there to support us as we feed you and keep you safe, and we basically trust you enough not to kill us in our sleep. At the end, maybe you see your sister again, if she made it. Then again, you have to deal with the guilt if she didn't.” She paused to watch his reaction. When it seemed like he understood, she continued, 

“Second, you join us for real. You work your ass off to earn our trust again, you volunteer for the nasty jobs, and prove yourself willing to change. Some day, eventually, you wake up and realize you're one of us.” AJ looked sharply at Clementine at this, shocked and angry, Clementine pushed on anyway. “This is your safest option, because I can't guarantee Richmond will take you in with your story, and we'd be pretty stupid not to warn them about you.” She emphasized the last with a sharp tone that brokered no argument. “If you take this path, then want to leave later, you'd go with our blessing.”

“Finally, you decide you want to go your own way right away. Fine with me. I'll escort you to the edge of these woods tomorrow myself, but if any one of us ever sees you again, we'll kill you on sight, and I'll tell the Rangers that I rescinded my protection, and they can do whatever they want to you if they ever run into you.” Chad had paused in his meal, turning a little white at that prospect.

“Take your time, I want to hear what you have to say when you're done eating. Think it over if you need.” Clementine finished with crossed arms. She scooted her chair back with a shuddering screech, and crossed her legs in an image of casualness, while still staring with purpose at the young man.

“Pick number three, please.” AJ said. Clementine didn't bother saying anything. If Chad was going to choose one of the first two options, he was going to need to be sufficiently dedicated to it that a child's taunts wouldn't dissuade him. The boy looked down at the final bite of his stew, thoughtfully chewed, and swallowed. A pause followed.

“Well?” Clementine prompted, annoyed.

“I think I want you to send me to Richmond.” He said quietly, staring out the window.

“Great.” Clementine said, gathering his empty dish and handing it to AJ to carry, “You'll be fed. We won't tie you up like a prisoner, but stay in your room at night for everyone's safety. Remember we're all armed, and might mistake you for a threat in the dark. Don't leave the walls unless you want to upgrade to choice number three. We might need you to do a chore here and there if there's no one else to do it and it needs to get done, but otherwise, just keep out of trouble and you'll be in Richmond in a month, hopefully.” She stood to go, all business. AJ frowned, but stomped after her. Chad stood as she left the room.

“What are you doing this for?” He asked, “Why kill my aunt over nothing, and go through so much trouble to spare me?”

Clementine turned back to him, hand on the doorknob. “Good night, Chad.” and shut the door.


	10. The Next Few Steps

When their teams were assembled, Clementine realized that asking was as effective as ordering, because Violet, AJ, and Aasim volunteered to go, and Omar opted to stay behind. Exactly the division she had planned out in her mind. It seemed like cheating at being a leader, like a shortcut to get out of doing the actual work of leadership, but it seemed fine in this case. Violet had suggested they take Chopsie and Rosie. Ted had offered Violet one of their handheld radios, to use while moving more quickly astride Chopsie. Clementine frowned, realizing Ted was already making Violet used to the tasks she would be doing as a Blue Ridge Ranger scout. She said nothing though, as she watched Gerry explain to her how to operate the device.

She reflected that it was getting easier, watching people leave and enter danger in her place. She trusted Violet, AJ, and even Ted and the other Rangers a little bit, to take care of each other and get everyone back safe. Even though in theory they were on a search for others she had seen off who might be in trouble, she didn't have a sense of dread about it. It felt, to her, like a precaution and nothing more. She hoped she was right. Chad was in the courtyard, watching people leave. Clementine felt annoyed that he was occupying communal space without being part of the group, but reminded herself she had been the one to decide he wouldn't be locked up. She just had hoped he would voluntarily confine himself to his room.

Once the group had left, there were chores to occupy themselves with. Clementine saw Sheila throw herself at the wood pile with enough enthusiasm that she swiftly shed her outer layers to stay cool. Clementine ascended the watchtower to keep a lookout, Omar took the fishing pole and departed for the river with Sue. Clementine noticed that Chad had left to go back into the dorms. She wondered if he felt bad, watching other people work while he lounged. She shook her head. He could volunteer if it bothered him so much.

Watch passed slowly and uneventfully. Sheila relieved her, and Clementine went to work in the greenhouse. Ruby had left instructions, so she had some idea of what to do. Labor helped the time pass, and kept her from worrying. The purple flowering vine was growing quite nicely. It's pea pods were starting to develop. She remembered Lee suddenly, and smiled wistfully, thinking about her childhood as she worked. It had seemed so scary then, she remembered, when everything first started. She remembered some things from the world before strongly. School, teachers, homework. Hot and cold running water. Other things, she was starting to forget. The sound of traffic outside her window at night. The beach on a sunny day. Being really, really, uncomfortably full.

She finished caring for the garden and returned to the courtyard. Sheila relayed that Omar and Sue had returned, then left again to check the traps for rabbits. She set to work gutting the fish they had brought back, preparing them for grilling. She lost herself in the simple task, and was humming to herself when Omar and Sue returned. As they split up the tasks of making dinner, the phrase 'many hands make light loads' jumped into Clementine's head unbidden. She wondered where she heard it, how long it had been bouncing around her head until a random thought disgorged it into her mind. 

The question was asked, how many bowls were they filling of stew tonight, and how much were they setting aside for preservation. Clementine understood what was being really asked, if Louis and Ruby would be found today, and if the group was able to return before tonight. It was decided they would prepare stew for the whole group. Because they'd return hungry, if they returned tonight, and it was better to believe in them being safe than bet on them being dead or trapped.

At last light, Sue, who had replaced Sheila, called out the awaited news. They were back. They were all back. They had found them on the road. Everyone was safe. As they were all celebrating their homecoming, backslaps and hugs, Clementine noticed Chad leaning against the wall, next to the Dormitory. Clementine again had a flash of annoyed anger at him experiencing the fringes of their group. It felt almost like eavesdropping.

Louis and Ruby took turns telling the story of their adventure. Louis taking over when things were potentially sensitive information, like when the meeting was going to take place. Ruby hid the need to swap storytellers at this point by laboriously chewing her stew. Clementine expected Ted realized the reason for the swap, but he didn't indicate he was offended.

Clementine looked around and realized she was very happy. She felt strong after this day. She had a strange notion, that someday, she would remember this very moment at a time she needed strength to keep going. This day was going to save her life someday. As the night went on, people picked up and left one by one. Sue and Gerry left together, heading towards the dorms. Louis raised his eyebrows and asked Clementine, “Wait, they're together?”

“No, no.” Clementine replied quickly, then, “Wait... I don't know, maybe?” She looked over her shoulder at them just as they disappeared into the dorms. The idea of the two of them together had never even entered her mind. She teased him mercilessly and he seemed perpetually halfheartedly indulging her nonsense. Clementine looked back to Louis and shrugged. Louis re-positioned to her picnic table bench and said,

“Uh, speaking of which, you were right about Abby.” he looked pretty chagrined, but not pained, so Clementine adopted a sympathetic look and asked, “Oh no, what happened?”

“She could tell I had a crush on her, and called me out on it. She didn't feel the same way, we talked, it was fine. I can talk with Violet more about it, I don't need to bother you about all the details. She's my sassy gay best friend.” He said, his signing fast enough Clementine had trouble keeping up.

“Hey, I'm also your sassy gay best friend!” She said, but was privately glad he had Violet to talk to, who would understand his signing better. She didn't think he would like having AJ along for translation.

“You're both gay and my best friend, but you're the serious one. Vi is the sassy one.” Clementine laughed, “If you say so.”

“Hey, I just wanted to thank you for telling me what you said before. I didn't want to hear it, but you made it easier. I didn't get totally surprised. You're a good friend, Clem.” he managed to cutesy her name up, even in sign language.

“You're a good friend too Louis.” she said, then frowned. “I hope you find what you're looking for soon. I... you deserve to be very, very happy.” she said aloud, not able to inject the emotion she felt in saying it into her signing. Louis smiled wanly, “Who says I'm not?”

Some time later, Clementine saw AJ rise and head towards the dorm. She stood to follow him. She had gotten quite tired, but had wanted to wait for him, so she could keep an eye on him as long as the Rangers were among them. She entered their shared room just behind him.

“Hey goofball.” she said as she entered, “Long day, huh?”

“Uh... yeah.” he said, a little shy, oddly. She could tell something was up.

“Hey, AJ, what's wrong?” She asked, knowing she had sounded too concerned. He wasn't likely to share if he felt like she was pitying him. He turned away and paced to the wall, staring briefly at the blank space below Tenn's old pictures.

“I don't need you to always take care of me.” He said it wistfully. Clementine wasn't sure what to make of it and responded carefully,

“Hey, you're my guy. I'm always going to take care of you a little bit, but I know you can take care of yourself too. What's this about, buddy?” She paced over and sat on her bed, gleeful at the idea of laying down.

“I'm not going to be scared, sleeping alone. You can- You can go visit Violet.” He said. She was glad he was facing away because she colored immediately.

“I'm sorry, I know I've been over with her a lot lately, but I don't have to visit her every night. Just every now and then it's nice to break up a routine. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you.” Her words tumbled out haphazardly, desperate to find an explanation besides what she was now thinking about. She felt extremely awkward talking to him like this. She was not ready to start teaching him about sex and sexuality. She had never even really learned about it herself. 

“No, I mean, I was talking with Louis, and he said that before, parents would have a room, and kids would sleep in their own room.”

“Wait, are you kicking me out of our room?” Clementine tried to joke. AJ looked surprised, then narrowed his eyes when he saw her expression, “Be serious for a second Clementine.”

“Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll listen.” She straightened her face and sat up attentively. AJ drew a breath and sat opposite her, on his bed, facing her.

“I know that you and Violet love each other.” Clementine shook off a reminder that Violet still hadn't said it back yet, AJ continued, “And I know that doesn't mean you love me any less. So I don't see why you shouldn't spend nights with her instead of me. I will be okay. I can tell it's what you really want.”

“I'm happy that you feel safe and confident without me, but I was thinking that I should stay with you until the Rangers move on. Just in case.”

“Don't worry about the Rangers, they're good guys.” AJ said with a broad smile. Seeing Clementine was unconvinced, he continued, “But I promise I'll stay in my room tonight, and lock the door. Just in case.”

Clementine felt her last worry dissipate and with that, felt the sudden violent urge to move as fast as she could to Violet's room. Instead, she stood and pinched AJ's cheek affectionately, then took her time gathering some of her things and only then headed for the door.

“Sweet dreams kiddo. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night Clementine.” He was already tucking himself in. She closed the door softly and hurried to Violet's door while trying not to seem like she was hurrying. She knocked softly and slipped in. Violet wasn't back yet, she was disappointed to see. She sat on the bed, thinking of ways she could surprise the other girl, blushing when she thought of a dirty option. She shook her head in disbelief at herself and waited quietly.

A minute passed and she was too excited, impatient to see Violet again, and she left her room to track her down. She didn't have to go far. In the courtyard, Ted and Violet were on the ground, Ted's arms snaking through hers in a similar way to when he was attacking her outside the gate the previous morning. Clementine almost called out in alarm, but noticed Aasim calmly observing, and trotted closer to see what was going on.

“Try pivoting with your right arm here, grab my thumb here, and pull down while bucking your hips.” Ted said calmly. Violet tried to follow his instructions, but looked like a spasming fish caught in a net. She grunted with effort.

“Not quite. You've gotta twist your arm to get out, you have to pull, then thrust your hips, get leverage.” It became obvious to Clementine then what was happening. Violet snapped free of Ted's grip with the speed of a rubber band and sprung to her feet with a triumphant guffaw.

“Not bad, not bad. You'll make a fine groundsparrer yet.” Ted said, rising and brushing himself off. He noticed Clementine and nodded carefully at her. “Evenin'.”

“Hey Clem, Ted was just showing me how to get out of that hold he had me in yesterday. He knows Jiu Jitsu.” She made knife-hand movements, the universal symbol of martial arts. Clementine frowned, having some inexplicable desire to prove how tough she was by challenging Ted to a fight, but immediately knew she was being ridiculous.

“Hey, cool. Say, Ted, can I borrow her for a minute?” He nodded, and they stepped aside for privacy. Clementine whispered what AJ had told her, giving her his blessing.

“So, you want to talk about things more?” Clementine asked, suddenly shy.

“Hey Ted, cool if we wrap up there for tonight?” Violet called back toward the courtyard.

“Uh, sure.” Ted said.

Violet hurried towards the dorms, ushering Clementine to follow her. Clementine didn't think she had ever moved so fast on crutches as they moved to Violet's room. Their room, Clementine corrected herself. Just outside the door, Violet turned back and said,

“Wait, before we... you know, I need to tell you something.” Clementine nodded,

“I have decided I am going away to train with the Blue Ridge Rangers. Become a Scout for them.” 

Clementine nodded, “That's not exactly news I'm excited about, but I'm not going to fight you over it. You can do what you want.” she was reminded how lonely she'd be soon, and that was dampening her excitement.

“Yeah? Thanks for understanding. But no, that's not the part I was going to tell you. I was talking to Ted, and he says the training doesn't happen during the winter, because it's too dangerous on the mountains then. If I went, when I go, it'll be in three, maybe four months.”

Clementine turned that over in her head. Months, months together in peace with Violet. In a heated room, behind sturdy castle walls, with enough food. It was more than she could take in at once, and she found herself crying. Big, streaming tears ran down her face and she sobbed softly. Violet pulled herself close and embraced her tightly.

“Oh my god, I'm sorry, I thought that would cheer you up. Holy shit, I didn't know you felt so strongly I-”

“No,” Clementine cut in, “I'm so happy. I think this might be the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.” She sniffled, “Sorry, I just got overwhelmed. That is really good news. Oh my god.” Clementine worked on composing herself, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

“Hey, I'm okay. I just lost it for a bit there. Was there anything else you wanted to tell me?”

“Just one thing.” Violet's embrace got firmer, Clementine sqeaked as she was picked up, carried into their room, and kissed passionately. 

“I love you.”

Clementine's crutches clattered to the floor as the door swung shut behind them.

The morning after next, the Rangers departed. Ted told Violet that next spring, they would return to escort her to their bunker. An old radar control tower for military jets in the time before. The Rangers thanked them for their hospitality, and there were kind handshakes between the Castle Violet kids and the Rangers. Clementine found it incredible how quickly they had made friends with them. She could never have expected that, when Ted first approached under her watch that she'd actually be sad to see him go.

By the end of the first week, Chad was volunteering for work. He had no idea how to even ask. He would be seen, staring at someone working at some project, from across the courtyard, clenching and unclenching his hands. He did that for almost a full day before Clementine asked him if he wanted to help. He looked relieved at being asked, and said he did. He had no idea what he was doing, and needed constant attention, but after isolating himself, he was clearly relishing the opportunity to talk with other people again.

And so the month passed. The air grew suddenly colder and colder, but the greenhouse kept its temperature and their wild pea and ginger plants continued to grow. Snow fell on the mountains, and stayed, leaving them surrounded by white capped views anywhere they could see above the tree canopies. Their food stores were finally looking stable though. If the greenhouse kept up, and their canning efforts didn't get them all sick, and nothing went wrong, they might make it through the winter even if no one successfully hunted a deer, like Marlon had to get them through previous winters.

And so the day of the Solstice arrived. The day they needed to begin their journey to be on time for the meeting. Clementine decided this was a situation she needed to attend to in person, and so Chopsie was geared up for her to ride. Louis volunteered to come, to no one's surprise. AJ and Violet both wanted to come, but that would leave Ruby short handed maintaining the Castle. Ultimately, Clementine opted to take AJ. Chad made four, standing aside with a petulant look on his face, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. It was getting uncomfortably cold, and everyone else was clad in the heavier gear scavenged from the ski lodge. He had refused one when offered. They loaded the jerky they could spare, along with some of the first pea pods and some of their other greenhouse fresh veggies, intending a trade, or a good impression. Clementine realized, now that it was loaded, it seemed more meager than she had imagined it would be. For the eight of them, it was food for maybe three days. For Richmond, who knows how many still lived there, if it'd even make one meal for their group.

They departed at a walking pace, intending to arrive the morning of the meeting. Clementine enjoyed the feeling of freedom being astride Chopsie brought her. She had gotten used to the idea of her disability, and relished rather than dreaded the idea of staying the rest of her life within Castle Violet's walls, but still. The feeling that she could look at the horizon and just move through the world made her feel strong. 

The first day passed uneventfully, and they made camp in a clearing off the road. They all began unfurling their bedding and preparing their meal. Chad offered to go gather firewood. Clementine looked at him skeptically.

“Come on, it's not like I've got anywhere to go. Trust me.” he said, and for once he didn't have his typical sullen anger. He seemed genuine, maybe even a little sad. Clementine nodded her assent and Chad entered the forest.

“Wait.” she said, stopping him. She limped carefully over to him, tired from a day in the saddle, and missing her crutches, “Take this with you. For protection.” She presented him with her knife. “If you see a walker, try to avoid it, but if it sees you, kick it in the knee, then put your weight behind this and bring it down on their head. Don't aim for the forehead. Aim for an eye, or the temple.” She demonstrated her technique. He accepted the knife, and buckled it at his hip. He looked at her for approval, and then turned to depart again.

“Is that really smart? Giving him a weapon?” Louis asked, between motions unrolling their tent.

“Come on, I don't hate him enough to want him to be walker food.” Clementine responded, before beginning to unburden Chopsie. She ached for a rest, but everyone else was busy and she wasn't going to shirk her part in the work of the group.

“He could try to get his revenge on you or AJ, if he thinks this is his last chance.” Louis said. He didn't really look that concerned, so Clementine half thought he might be joking, but she wasn't good at reading his tone in sign language. She shrugged, Louis looked a little frustrated, and returned to his task. Clementine wondered how much she was missing that Louis was trying to say, and became frustrated with herself too.

It was frightfully cold, and by the time Chad returned with firewood, everyone was shivering. Tonight, the watch would have to keep the fire going strong, or they'd get hypothermia or something. Clementine wondered what she had been thinking, setting the meeting on this day. Clementine took first watch, realizing that no matter how tired she was from the saddle, everyone else would be even more tired from walking. Everyone else settled in to rest, knowing it wasn't going to be pleasant, and swallowing their complaints. Except Chad.

He sat next to the fire, poking it with a stick, looking furtively at her. She sighed and asked finally, “What are you doing Chad?”

“Just, uh... tending the fire.” he said meekly, avoiding her gaze.

“I mean, what are you doing? Don't play dumb.”

He tossed the stick into the fire and hunched forward, hands in his jacket pockets. 

“I'm just doing what I see you guys all doing. When something needs doing, you fight over who gets to do it. Someone's always volunteering for something.”

“Yeah, but why? What are you thinking you're going to get out of it? I'm still warning Richmond about what you did. Don't expect clemency for your token effort at the last minute.”

“Nothing. I don't want anything.” Chad bunched up angrily, scraping the dirt with his heel. Louis wordlessly grunted, indicating they were being too loud for him to sleep. Moments passed in silence between them.

“Look, I can guess what you're going to say, but I'd take your watch if you let me. You guys are tired, and I wasn't doing my fair share of chores at Castle Violet.” He said. In Clementine's mind, Louis' words repeated, of his taking revenge the last chance he'd get. She couldn't leave him awake and armed as they all slept, not responsibly. And yet. He seemed genuine.

“If you had it to do over again, would you have chosen option two?” Clementine asked. Chad took his time answering, still avoiding eye contact. Eventually he nodded.

“Go to bed Chad. I've got some things to think about.” She added a branch to the fire.

The long night finally ended with the grayest dawn Clementine could remember. Cold and drizzling just a little, she began to honestly fear for their lives. If it got stormier, sleet, in this weather, they could die. The cold hadn't settled on Clementine's skin though, so she was hopeful. They set out again, making double time, hoping to beat the rain if it worsened.

It was on the outskirts of town when they realized their mistake. The streets were lousy with walkers. From her higher vantage point, Clementine counted twenty. They pulled back, out of sight behind an old gas station. 

“What's the plan, boss?” Louis asked, Clementine shifted in her saddle considering.

“It's the bells. The rain must be drowning out the sound of the bells.” Clementine said. Chad looked between them, unable to understand them, but said nothing aloud.

“We are technically early. We could hole up somewhere. Hope the rain passes.” Louis said.

“No, we should clear them out. The rain could get worse. Or we could hole up and get surrounded, and miss the meeting entirely.” AJ said in reply, hoisting his pistol.

“How many are out there? Fifteen? Twenty? That we can see.” Louis responded. “I like a straight fight as much as the next guy, but the most I've ever fought at once is, I dunno, three?” 

Clementine smirked. She was pretty sure she'd faced a dozen at once before. AJ had done better than three with just a knife. She shook her head, this was no time for scorekeeping.

“I've got a better idea. I'll be the bell this time Louis.” Louis and AJ nodded, understanding immediately. Chad looked around confused. He couldn't even understand their signing, and wasn't even at the train station where Louis had distracted a herd with a bell. Clementine thought it was funny how language was a barrier to his understanding, but even if he understood their language, he still wouldn't understand how to speak fluent Castle Violet.

“Sorry Chad, here's the plan:” she said aloud, but in a subdued tone. “The three of you hide, I'll make a bunch of noise, draw them towards me, past your hiding place, then you slip past them unseen. You have to be completely, absolutely silent, and stay out of sight.”

The three of them communicated among themselves and eventually decided to climb onto the roof of the gas station to hide. They stood on an ice machine and helped each other up by hand. They gave Clementine the signal. Clementine hardened herself and began to walk Chopsie up the middle of the road. She pulled out a flashlight, hoping it would attract their attention through the rain, and began whistling. She whistled short and shrill blasts through her teeth. It wasn't as loud as she had hoped, so she started shouting instead. “Hey” again and again. 

They turned towards her, one after another peeled off of their aimless shambling and began to shuffle her way. She turned Chopsie around and began a fast walk in the other direction, still shouting intermittently and flashing her light at them. She could tell quickly that she hadn't attracted enough attention. She'd be leaving several milling about in their way if she just took off without making more noise. She gritted her teeth and drew her revolver. This would make enough noise. It would make enough noise for six blocks of walkers. She shouted up at the boys hiding on the rooftop.

“When they pass, get moving quick, because more will come soon. I'll find my own way there.”

And she fired. The bullet smashed the closest walker's skull like an egg. Chopsie whinnied, upset at the sudden gunshot, and shied slightly. Her shoulder protested, firing from an unsteady position gave her shitloads of recoil. The herd was riled up now, and she took off at a trot. She stayed ahead of the group, but kept an eye on them, not wanting to lose them until the boys were safe. 

It was her split attention that kept her from realizing until it was too late. Chopsie reared, and Clementine nearly lost her seat. The street she had been going down was suddenly also clogged with decaying flesh. A walker arm was reaching for her thigh, and she kicked it out of the way and pulled Chopsie around to try cutting between streets before they got overwhelmed. She turned down an alleyway just ahead of grasping claws and continued at a canter. A fire escape reared ahead of her, a walker tangled in part of its mechanism, grasping at her. She ducked under its grasp, but found herself unsteady when Chopsie shied again. There were again walkers blocking their path. Two of them, at the far end of the alley.

Clementine tried to regain her balance, but her prosthetic foot slipped out of its cup-stirrup and she found herself sliding off. She landed amid Chopsie's dancing feet with a painful smack. She couldn't find her breath and the two walkers were on her already. Shit, she thought suddenly and oddly without fear, this is how she's going to die? After everything, it's just some stupid moment of bad luck? She found the revolver's barrel in the mouth of the first walker and somehow she pulled the trigger, reducing it to a soppy corpse. She aimed blindly at the second and fired, but couldn't see if it hit or not. She rolled over and forced herself to breathe. Chopsie had cantered out of the alleyway and was doing nervous circles on the street on the far side. 

Clementine got up and looked around confusedly for the second walker. It lay on its back, yellow eyes staring up at her in a snarl, but it seemed unable to move. Clementine noticed the bloody hole her bullet had produced at the base of its throat, just above the ribcage. She had missed the walker's head, but had apparently severed its spine. She chalked that up to blind luck. She stowed the revolver again and limped towards Chopsie, noting the herd after her with redoubled vigor after the excess noise she had made. 

Chopsie didn't seem to want to take her back in the saddle again, and kept moving away as she tried to mount him. Clementine almost couldn't blame him. Her own ears were still ringing from the shots. With the herd closing in, she was losing patience with him.

“Come on, you dumb beast, we've gotta go.” She grunted with frustration.

Finally, she managed to get him calm enough she could ride, and tried to set off down the road at a trot, but Chopsie was more than happy to interpret it as a gallop, and soon the houses and businesses on this road were flying by. She was happy to just hold on to Chopsie for a while and let him decide where was best to go. It was all she could really do anyway, still only half in the stirrups. Finally, after several minutes of blind running, she pulled herself fully onto Chopsie and pulled him to a stop. She looked around and realized she had no idea where she was. Louis had been the only one on the trip who knew the way to the firehouse.

She picked a direction and started at a walk. She inspected the revolver as Chopsie made their way down the dark, cold streets. She was grateful that revolvers didn't eject their cases. She only had one bullet left. She sighed and shook her head, disappointed in herself. She hadn't really needed the second two shots, if she had just kept her seat in the saddle. She might have done with her own foot. She sighed, maybe being confined to Castle Violet from here on out might be the better plan.

She found herself standing in front of a square, a bright spot of greenery and trees surrounded by the decaying urban landscape. The tree roots buckled the sidewalks that crisscrossed the field, and at first Clementine wondered if this had been a park in the time before. She vaguely remembered parks, little planned bits of nature where people could go to be outside together inside cities. But they didn't have large, ornate stone buildings at their centers. She realized this must be a government building. A city hall or courthouse. A place where there might be a map of the city. Clementine rode Chopsie onto the steps, and up to the front doors. She slid to the ground gently and pulled out her flashlight again, looking through the shattered glass that once was the exterior double doors and into the atrium.

Tying Chopsie to the front door frame loosely, so he could pull free if he got panicked, she carefully stepped through the doorway. She began exploring the interior, going slowly to try and minimize the noise her prosthetic foot made as she walked. She wandered the halls aimlessly, guessing there was a fire chief's office somewhere, and there'd be a map of the city's fire stations there. She also knew this was West Virginia, and a government office like this would definitely have had a few guns in it in the time before. It might have been scavenged already, but it was worth a look. 

She passed an office labeled Transportation Department, but moved on when it became clear to her it was full of walkers. Too many for her to deal with alone. She moved on, imagining the sun moving across the sky outside, leaving her closer and closer to being late for the meeting. She found a directory, and navigated her way to the mayor's office, figuring if there was one person allowed to keep a gun on the premises full time, it'd be the mayor. The door was locked, but it was a cheap office doorknob, and she smashed it in with a rock without even making much noise. She heard hisses from inside, a walker, but only one of them. She opened the door and stepped back, hoping to let the walker come to her, fight her on familiar and open ground. Instead the hisses continued from within unabated. She peeked inside. She saw a walker in a white, professional looking dress handcuffed to the radiator, in an incredibly advanced state of decay. Clementine examined her carefully, and imagined she must have died in the first days of the outbreak. The decay was too advanced to identify her cause of death. 

The walker made efforts to attack, but at this point, its arms and legs were atrophied enough that it lacked the strength to move anymore. Reflecting the light of her flashlight, she saw a key on the ground, within reach of the walker. A key for handcuffs.

“Oh shit,” Clementine said softly to herself. “She stuck herself here, to protect others.” she nodded in respect to the creature, “You died a hero, whoever you were.” And she turned away to search the rest of the room.

The room she was in now was a waiting room, or secretary's office, and the mayor's office was beyond, behind a much sturdier door, that was also locked. She considered searching the walker for a key, but decided she would have chained herself inside the mayor's office instead if she had one. Instead she searched the secretary's desk, snapping locks open with her combat knife when she had to. Within, she found mostly papers, office supplies, and sundries, but in the back of one drawer she found a box of ammunition with six rounds removed. She was surprised to find bullets inside the desk, and looked at the walker again. Was it the secretary? Did she lose her gun somewhere then get bitten? Was she chaining herself up because she lacked the will to shoot herself in the head? 

Clementine pocketed the bullets, uncertain that she could ever piece together what had happened here in the hours, days, and years since the world was how it once was. She looked again at the mayor's door. Was the mayor behind the door? Did he also chain himself up to try and save others? Did he lock the door and retreat into the relative safety of his room, or did he run away and leave the people depending on him to die?

Clementine turned her back on it all, and on the interior wall, was a map of the town.

“There I am.” She jabbed the map indicating city hall. She scanned the map for the street she had been on when she and the boys had parted ways, then traced its path through the city until she found the closest fire station.

“And that's where I need to be.”

Louis was worried about Clementine. He tried not to show it, because he was also worried that AJ would be worried too if he showed he was worried. They stood together in the firehouse. Their wet outer wear was hung up near the stove to dry and they tried to huddle even closer around it to warm themselves as well. Louis' eyes were glued to the window, hoping every moment that Clementine would appear, riding down the road toward their hideout.

Yvonne was talking with Sam and Devon, each holding a weapon, but trying to act like it was no big deal. Clearly they still didn't trust the outsiders. Louis was the only one they had seen before from this group, and he was the only one they hadn't communicated with the last time. Louis could tell things were tense on their end, but he only cared about Clementine getting here safely. 

“We should be out there, looking for her.” He said, not for the first time. AJ rolled his eyes.

“She'll be here. She's not going to get lost.”

Just then, they heard the barricades shifting downstairs. Louis rushed to the fire pole and slid down, imagining it was Clementine returning, and he just hadn't seen her through the window. Instead it was Abby, Willy, and two women he didn't recognize. His face fell, and his rushing feet slowed to a stop. Seeing his expression, Abby, who had opened her arms in greeting, looked puzzled and hurt.

“What's up with that look? Not happy to see me?” Abby asked aloud, Louis quirked his head to the side in confusion, then brushed his hands side to side in dismissal.

“No no no, I just thought you were Clementine. We got separated.” he explained quickly.

“Oh shit, we've got to find her.” Abby said, turning right around to go back into the city. One of the two women, a tall woman with dark brown hair and freckles, stopped her casually, holding her by the upper arm and turning her back to firehouse garage.

“Not a chance Abby. What's going on?”

“Clementine, their leader, who we came all this way to talk to, is missing. We've gotta go find her.”

“Cool your jets honey, it's a big city out there and only the four of us.” The other woman said, a tall, gray haired lady with a severe look and spindly elbows. The brown haired woman turned to Louis,

“I'm Kate. I know Clementine. I'm sure she's fine. If you tell us more, maybe we can help look when this rain lets up.”

Louis nodded and spared a pained look at the closed barricades and ushered them towards the lift. Louis wanted to talk to Abby, but his hands were occupied hoisting them up, and Willy was chattering away about his visit to Richmond. Louis was only half paying attention, but it sounded like mostly he had learned more and better ways to burn things. Louis shook his head at the boy's antics, but was also shocked to notice how much the boy had grown. He could swear he was two or three inches taller than when he left.

The group entered the Firehouse group's living space. Chad and AJ told the story of how they became separated from Clementine, and how they got the rest of the way to the firehouse themselves. 

“If we're going out to look for Clementine, let me come. I want to help.” Chad said, standing up taller. AJ shook his head, “No, she told us she'd be here. We wait.” Chad visibly deflated.

“Yeah, okay, just, if you were going.” he said in a small voice and stalked off into a corner.

Kate and the severe looking lady began conversing with Yvonne, and Louis was about to step forward and try to participate in the adult businesses when he felt a tug on his sleeve. Abby was at his elbow with a mischievous look on her face. She beckoned him to follow and she led him into the hallway. She peaked into each of the doors in turn, passing up on the rooms meant as living space for the Firehouse survivors. Louis wanted to ask what she was looking for, but she wasn't looking at him. Besides, she was leading him by the hand. Well, she was holding his forearm. Still, it made him remember what it felt like when he had his crush on her. Tracing his gaze up her arm, he wasn't sure it felt that different now. He quashed that feeling.

She found the door to the stairwell and pulled him in behind her. The landing was intact, but the stairwell itself was destroyed in an explosion, it seemed. Louis looked over the edge, seeing the rubble in the low light filtering through cracks in the wall. Abby seemed uninterested in the destruction and pulled his attention back to her.

“Okay, now that we're alone. Let me see your letter.”

Louis produced it and handed it to her, “Wait, I thought you couldn't read.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to see if you had actually written to me.” She cradled the letter in her hands, examining every part of it. “You really did. I kinda thought you wouldn't.”

“Why would you think that? I said I would, didn't I?”

“Yeah, but I had just told you some things about me.” Abby looked uncomfortable, “That I usually tell people right before they stop trying to be my friend.”

“Do you mean that you didn't have feelings for me too? Because you've known some real jerks if that's the case.” Louis emphasized his point with a disgusted looking facial expression.

“No, I don't mean that, but I don't want to talk about that right now.” She handed his letter back to him. “I want you to read it to me.” Louis accepted it and held it carefully, so it caught enough light he could read it.

“Alright, but I'm going to leave out the dirty limerick. That was meant just for your father.” Abby gave him her laugh that he loved to hear so much. He cleared his throat dramatically and began to relay the contents of the letter.

Dear Abby,

I hope this letter finds you safe and well. How is your leg healing? We managed to make it back to Castle Violet without any more trouble. We had guests, a group moving through who seem friendly. I don't know how much I should tell you about them in a letter, but we might see more of them. 

Our guests left behind a kid named Chad. He's kind of a tool, but he's looking for his sister, who might have gone to Richmond. Hopefully your delegation was willing to take him with them. If you can, try to make him feel welcome. I think he wants to be helpful, but he's too proud to ask, and too stubborn to follow orders well. He's kind of a pain in the ass. Sorry for leaving him with you to deal with.

I'm still practicing signing every day. Hopefully soon I'll be as good as you are. It would be nice if you were teaching some signing to Willy, but I don't expect he'll take to it. I'm surprised to say, I miss the little guy. I miss talking to him, even though he's a weird little dude.

How is life in Richmond? I've never lived anywhere other than Castle Violet ever since the outbreak, so I have no idea what it's like out there. Do you have any good music there? I remember all the music I could listen to in the time before and think about everything that might be lost forever. It'd cheer me up if I knew that somewhere out there, people are still listening to more than the old records we have here.

We're still living in peace here at Castle Violet. Aasim and Ruby have been getting closer the last couple months. I think they might get married soon. I'm not sure if we're still doing marriage, but I think they might be. AJ is growing up so fast, you'd be shocked to see it. He's already showing me new tricks on how to fish better. Clementine's doing pretty good. Violet might be going away for a few weeks to visit nearby groups, and I think Clementine is trying to pretend it isn't going to happen, and is either faking her happiness, or trying to make the most of it before Violet leaves.

I'm doing good myself. I'm sorry for laying all that shit on you before. I would guess you're tired of hearing about it, but I just want you to know, I'm your friend no matter what. Hopefully I'll see you at the delegation and this letter will be redundant.

From, Louis

He set the letter aside, and saw her watching him with intense eyes. 

“That's such a nice letter. Thank you.” She said seriously. Louis shook his head.

“It's nothing.” He said, folding it back up and holding it awkwardly, not sure if he should offer it to her to keep or not. Abby crossed to the ruined stairwell and sat on the banister, which creaked ominously.

“So how many did you tear up where you accidentally wrote something too romantic for my dad to read?” She asked lightly, Louis gaped

“What? None. You made your feelings perfectly clear last time, we're just friends.”

“I'm just teasing you, Louis. But, thanks. I know things can be awkward after a crush, and you're being so much nicer than I'm used to guys being.” She kicked her feet and looked wistfully down the short drop to the floor below. Louis came to within arm's reach of her, to calm his own nerves about her falling more than anything.

“What do other guys do?” he asked

“Well, other guys I've known usually think I'm the last girl on earth. That they'll never be with anyone if I say no. Act like I'm saying no because I want them to be alone.”

Louis, who had definitely thought of it that way, said, “I never thought about it that way. I guess I just was too busy feeling sorry for myself to be mad.”

“Hey, me too.”

Louis had no idea what she meant by that, so changed the subject.

“So what IS Richmond like?”

They sat and conversed for a while, catching up on all the little things that had happened in both their lives in the last month. Richmond was almost like a functioning town, with industry and farms and even quasi-religious services. Abby was trying to invent hair dye, and was following people around with scissors, demanding their hair for her experiments. Louis had named the cat that had been hanging around Castle Violet, but hadn't told anyone, since the cat wouldn't recognize or respond to its name sign, even if other people said it out loud. They passed an hour or more that way. They were having such a good time, they only realized how long they had been talking when the door opened and Clementine poked her head in.

“Hey, there you are.” She said with a wry smile, “Good to know I was missed. How are you Abby?” 

“Oh Clementine! You're back!” Abby hopped off the banister and bounded past Clementine and into the hallway, apparently finished with the stairwell room. Clementine and Louis exchanged a look and shrugged. Abby was Abby, they were discovering.

“Hey, Clementine. I'm glad you're safe.” He said, limiting his vocabulary for Clementine's benefit. It was hard after really talking with Abby, where he could express himself more fully, “How is Chopsie? Is he safe?”

“Yeah, he's in the Garage, he should be safe there. Willy's tending to him.” Clementine looked confidentially at the closed door behind her and said, “You sure she doesn't like you? Did you see how she was looking at you? I thought she was going to shoot me when I interrupted you guys.”

Louis was thankful for the fact they were talking inaudibly and said, “Shut up, Clementine. She's just relieved I'm not bringing it up. If she knows we're talking about it, she'll know I still like her and she'll think I'm lying about just trying to be her friend.” 

“Oh, so you do still like her?” Clementine looked amused.

“I can't exactly choose to switch off that part of my brain. But I can pretend until it gets easier.” Louis said with some finality, turning toward the door and pushing past her. Clementine's look grew serious and she said aloud, “Hey, Louis, I'm sorry, wait.” and then continued, signing, “I believe in you, buddy. Either way.” then aloud again, “Come on, we're late for the meeting, and I think Janice is getting impatient.”

Louis nodded, and held the door for her, adding an “After you milady.” to show he wasn't still upset and the two of them left to rejoin the others.


	11. Trigger Warning post partum depression and associated anxieties, Implied self harm or suicidal ideation

The assembled crews, the four from Castle Violet's, the three Firehouse survivors, the three from Richmond, and Chad, the homeless, made for a rather crowded room. Everyone struggled to find a place to stand or sit. Abby, Louis, Sam, and Devon all crowded onto the couch, Abby half on the armrest and half on Louis. Yvonne and Janice, the severe looking current leader of Richmond, stood at the head of the room, softly talking to one another. Chad was in a corner, leaning against the wall with one foot resting on the wall and his arms crossed. Clementine and Kate met and clasped hands in greeting.

“Kate, it's so good to see you.”

“You too Clem, you're so grown up now, it's crazy.”

Janice cleared her throat and called everyone's attention, Clementine and Kate smiled and silently promised to catch up later. Janice was beginning the meeting.

“I'm sure everyone is aware of the purpose of this meeting. Clementine, leader of a group of survivors who call themselves Castle Violet has proposed a gift of friendship, and to share her group's surplus in exchange for our sharing ours in return. I think we can both agree that this meeting spot, and the survivors here, are necessary for any practical agreement to be reached. To that end, Yvonne, what would satisfy your needs for this compact to take place?”

“Last time, Javier promised some fuel for our generators to continue to power the bells. We're happy to provide space for your little get togethers for as long as the fuel keeps coming in.”

“Well, we can provide that, and from what Abby and Willy have told me of your settlement, you can't. With that in mind, it seems like just to start, you have to offer us something just to get the scales back up to balanced, don't you think?” Janice suggested. Clementine frowned,

“We're happy to share what we have, but I'm not sure I like the tone you're starting out with. We're not a weak, helpless settlement begging you for your protection, we're a self-sustaining community, looking to help other communities around us.” She said defensively, regretting not starting the meeting herself. Willy stepped forward, shaking his head at Clementine.

“No, see they have a plan to really help us out. Hear them out Clementine.” He urged. Clementine looked around at all the faces, Janice predatory, Kate apologetic, Louis apprehensive, and nodded for Janice to continue.

“See, we've got our basic nutritional needs met. I know you mentioned having surplus food, and we'd love to trade foodstuffs for better variety, but I imagine we'd be exporting more to you than we'd need imported. But you're in a forest, and have access to a river, right? That's a commodity we don't have around Richmond.” She grinned and leaned forward, but was interrupted by Willy, too excited to hold back any further.

“We burn charcoal for them!” he said, Janice looked at him with a face full of so much annoyance, it bordered on anger, and she continued,

“Charcoal is a carbonized wood that burns much hotter and easier than wood fires can get. It's also light enough that it can be transported easily. With charcoal, we can melt iron and other metals, recast them. Forge new metal tools as the ones we scavenge wear out. We spend as much time acquiring charcoal as we do using it. We can lend you a couple chainsaws on the promise of the charcoal you make with them. You can use them for your own woodcutting needs too, of course.” She paused, and clarified, “Chainsaws are old world tech that uses gasoline to spin a blade fast enough that it makes cutting down large trees easy. We brought a couple.” She continued, sure the children who had few memories of the world before understood what she was talking about.

“We taught Willy the secrets of charcoal burning in hopes you would agree to help supply us. In exchange, we'll give you some extra food, plus help maintain the chainsaws.”

Janice smiled gregariously, Willy nodded excitedly and leaned forward, expectantly listening for Clementine's answer. She crossed her arms and shifted her stance.

“No.” she said simply. A pause went by, Janice still smiling, sure she had misheard, or that Clementine was going to elaborate.

“Uh...” Willy began, but Clementine continued, “First of all, we're doing fine on our own. We're not desperate for a lifeline here. If we need more of your food, it would only be replacing the food we'd be making if we weren't busy making your charcoal. If we're taking your chainsaws today, it's going to be as a gift. You obviously have more, or you wouldn't be letting yours go. If we're using them, it's as a favor to you.”

Janice began to protest, Clementine raised a hand, “Let me finish.” Janice looked pretty angry at that, but quieted, “I can promise you charcoal, but it won't be at the expense of our own ability to sustain ourselves. We aren't going to make ourselves dependent on your food production when we have our own. Instead, we'd like free movement between our groups. You have the teachers from Charlottesville? We want to be able to send people to learn from them. If you decide you need more charcoal than we can send along to you, you can send some of your people up to work on getting what you need. We'll host them, and share food evenly with them. If we are helping in making tools, we want some part of the benefit of that. If we need a new axe, or knife, or whatever, we should be able to request something be made for us, and if we're providing the charcoal that lets you make your own, we also can get what we need.”

Janice was silent, looked to Kate with a disbelieving expression, Kate shrugged and smiled innocently, “Do you want a pony too?” She said sarcastically. “We have the chainsaws, and we have them because we've taken the risk to clear out areas in a city. That makes them ours. You won't be able to do the job without them, so the charcoal is ours, really. We're willing to give you a fair value of goods in return for your help, but we're not going to just let you walk all over us.”

“We don't become your property just because we're holding something you handed to us. We'll all benefit if we share what we have, but we're not going to be your worker bees.” Willy looked between the two tense women, panicking,

“Don't worry Clementine, I want to do the charcoal burning!” he said enthusiastically.

“I know, Willy, and you can do it all you want. I just don't want Richmond to own it if they didn't earn it.”

Janice sucked her teeth, “We're the ones who taught Willy how to do it in the first place. You wouldn't even know making wood into something more useful was possible if it wasn't for us.”

“Maybe. That still doesn't mean you own Willy, or what he does now that he knows about it. You taught him, hoping he would make charcoal for you. Seems like it's in your own self interest more people know how to make it, so you can get your hands on more.”

The groups stood silent, tense air between Clementine and her rival leader. Finally Kate stepped between them and said gently, “Why don't we take a break?” 

Janice nodded and stepped away. Louis, Abby, Sam, and Devon made a beeline for the living spaces, happy for the excuse to remove themselves from an unexpectedly tense encounter between the two leaders. Willy looked like he wanted to follow them, but sat down, a miserable expression on his face. Chad looked very worried, but continued haunting his corner. Kate drew Clementine aside and whispered sharply,

“What are you doing Clementine? Janice isn't someone you want to antagonize. Didn't you want to establish this alliance?”

“I do, but if what she sees as an alliance is what she proposed, we're better off on our own.” Clementine also talked in a low voice, but didn't bother whispering. Kate looked at Janice, who didn't appear to be listening in.

“Well, you're about to find out, because if I had to guess, she's about ready to walk away.” Kate tried to soften her tone, but only partly succeeded.

“Maybe if she lets her pride get in the way of a good decision. If that's the case, we can retry once you get a different leader in place. We're not going to get scared into being a Richmond colony. She knows the chainsaws benefit her more in our hands than hers, I just need to let her know I know that too.”

Kate looked concerned, but said nothing more.

“Hey, don't worry so much. I want to hear how you're doing. You didn't bring Eva? I was hoping to meet her.” Clementine smiled and put her hand on Kate's upper arm in an attempt to divert the color of her conversation with her old friend.

“Oh, she's doing great. I needed a break from watching her and Javi couldn't wait for the excuse to play with her all day instead of working.”

“I'm sure Javi's a great dad. How are you doing?” Clementine cut herself short. She was going to mention that Javier had told her she was depressed, but she didn't want to seem gossipy.

“Oh, you know. Every day is a good day in the end of the world.” She said, shrugging in an exaggerated display of faux-nonchalance. “And anyway, Javi told me you have someone special in your life now. Is that right?”

Clementine let the older woman direct the conversation away from her mental state, “Yeah, her name's Violet. It's kinda new, but I'm pretty happy.” 

“Smart, shack up with a lady, that way you can't get-” She cut herself off. “I mean, you don't have to deal with men's petty shit.” She tried to chuckle, but it came out so pained it was almost a groan. Clementine looked with serious concern in her eyes at the older woman.

“Kate... how are you doing, really?” Kate crossed to the vacated couch and sat down, bent double, resting her head against her open palms.

“Not great Clementine. I had to get away. I just... I've never been a mom. Not like this. It was hard enough being a step-mom to good kids who could take care of themselves. I don't think I was born with the mom gene.” Clementine crossed to sit next to her on the couch, and wrapped one arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, nonsense. You're who I think of when I think of what 'a mom' even looks like. You did such a good job with Gabe and...” Clementine realized she had forgotten Gabe's sister's name, “...and you're going to do a great job with Eva too.”

“Gabe and Mariana were easy. They were almost teenagers, they could take care of themselves, and they were so well behaved. Eva I have no idea what I'm doing. She cries all the time, I can't calm her down, I'm getting zero sleep, I can't ask for help because everyone else is doing important, productive work and I'm just making sure a tiny human doesn't accidentally kill itself.” It all came out in a stream, like she had been holding it in, barely. The way she said it sounded practiced though, and Clementine realized Kate had probably had this breakdown before, and hadn't found her answer on the far side of it.

“Childcare isn't unproductive. It's literally the most not unproductive thing that's possible to do.” Clementine tried to joke, “You can ask for help. From Javier if no one else, and shit, from everyone else too, while you're at it.” Kate shook her head,

“I can't leave her with someone else, not for long. It drives me crazy. This isn't the first time I've cried this trip. I'm totally losing my mind. I'm either with her, and miserable, or away and worried.” she sniffed wetly, “It's gotten so bad Clem, It's gotten so bad I've thought about...” she trailed off.

“Thought about what, Kate?” Clementine asked, having a feeling she knew the answer. Instead, they were interrupted by Janice.

“I think that's enough of a break. We should get back to it. I'd like to be back before the rain gets any worse.”

Clementine hated Janice then, but nodded. She put a hand on Kate's shoulder, and used it as an aid to pull herself to stand. She smiled slightly at Kate, who noticed the gesture, and was shocked by it out of her tears.

“You're strong, Kate. We'll talk more later.” she said directly to her, voice low. She faced down Janice. “Yeah, let's get back into it.”

Janice crossed her arms and chiseled her facial expression from granite. Clementine sighed, deciding to throw the older woman a concession.

“I think I may have been hasty before.” She said, Janice's stony face didn't shift, Clementine continued, “Chainsaws will be very, very useful for us, and I'm sure that even though you're set up in a major city, you can't give them away to absolutely everyone whose path you cross.” She smiled, trying to bridge the divide slightly. 

“If you give us the chainsaws, we'll promise you the entirety of the charcoal we produce from the first two trees we cut down with them. After that, we'll produce as much charcoal as we have the time to, while supporting ourselves. We'll share our supply with you, but if you're not happy sharing the tools you forge, we'll just go about making ourselves a blacksmith back at the Castle, and suddenly we'll need the charcoal just as much as you do. Wouldn't have much excess then, would we?”

“If you think forging metal is as easy as that, I invite you to just go ahead and try.” Janice said, betraying her annoyance only slightly.

“I definitely don't.” Clementine laughed out her response, shaking her head. “But if you're not providing us with tools you forge using the charcoal we provide, we're not being treated like equals. We're being treated like subordinates.” Janice's face clearly spoke for her, indicating she did think of them as subordinates. Clementine kept her gaze focused and neutrally intense with some effort.

“Your need for tools will be considered, when we're able to forge. We'll be able to forge only when provided with charcoal.” Janice grated out through thin lips.

“I thought that went without saying.” Clementine said, “And our ability to produce a surplus of charcoal will depend on our ability to get the tools we need to make our other tasks easier.”

The silence between them returned, but this time was significantly less tense.

“So we'll just have to trust each other that we'll each come through on our end.” Janice said, it was unclear if it was a question or a statement. Clementine nodded, “I guess so.”

Willy looked visibly relieved that the two seemed to have come to an agreement. Yvonne uncrossed her arms, relaxing after seeing the meeting probably wouldn't end up erupting in violence inside her home. The mood having shifted, the two negotiators felt able to move suddenly, and began to move about the room as they continued to spar over terms.

“Okay, so what do you mean about free movement? You mean you want us to let you into our settlement whenever?” Janice asked, more animated now that the two were into it.

“Within reason of course. If you're under siege, or there's a plague underway, no. But take Chad here,” she motioned to the teen in the corner, who perked up in surprise, “He's looking to join you for a time. He thinks his sister might be in or near your territory. He'll volunteer to help you his fair share, won't he?” she emphasized the last with a warning, but it was a gentle, paternalistic warning.

“Yes!” Chad said, piping up with such momentary fervor that his voice broke.

“So we'd like you to take him, for a start. And Willy seems to have really enjoyed learning about Charcoal burning. I'd like to be free to let our people come learn whatever they want whenever they want. They'll also make themselves useful while they're there, of course.”

“Doesn't seem like we're getting much out of the arrangement. Shouldn't you volunteer them to some period of service after? To pay us back?”

“No, I don't think that makes sense, but if you're critically short of some skill, perhaps you could prioritize teaching those skills, until your needs are filled.”

“You seem to be obsessed with the idea of getting something from us without paying for it.”

“On the contrary, I'm trying to trade what we have so both of us have more. You keep trying to give away things you don't need, or don't care about in exchange for all of our time and effort you can possibly convince us to give you.” She gestured with her hands showing her hands on a level with one another, “What I'm suggesting.” She placed one hand high, and the other low, “What you're suggesting.”

Janice shook her head disbelievingly. “Fine, we'll let your little compatriots come stay with us if they want. They'll be expected to pull their weight if they want to eat, and if the Teachers have time between their other tasks, and they're willing to, they'll teach.”

Clementine nodded with finality, “Great.” 

Janice gaped at her.

“Is that it? Are we done?” Clementine asked, “Whew, I'm surprised how tiring that was. Are you ready to eat? We brought some of our extra food to share. I'm not sure it'll go far split this many ways...”

Kate stood and put her hand on Clementine's shoulder, smiling, “That's a great idea, we can break bread in honor of our pact.”

The three groups recalled their members who had stepped aside to avoid the argumentative leaders and the fare Clementine and her friends had brought was distributed to each of them. Clementine had blanched at their supply when they left Castle Violet, but here, divided evenly, and with no leftovers, it seemed like a feast.

As they ate, Clementine described the method she had learned for counting days and forecasting calendar dates, and by understanding them, they established a regular date for repeating the meeting between the two far flung communities. Clementine's eyes returned to Kate repeatedly throughout the meal. Kate, who was successfully miming cheer, had a tense undercurrent. Try as she might, she couldn't think of an excuse to get the two away from the group to talk more. 

Across the room from Kate were Louis and Abby, still chattering away with no attention whatsoever to spare for anyone else. Clementine could not believe that Louis had been rejected by her. Not considering the body language she had right now. Her little coy smile and mischievous deer eyes made Clementine kind of attracted to Abby herself. She wondered if Abby had reconsidered his offer, and was trying to signal, or if that was just how she acted normally.

Willy was talking with AJ, Sam and Devon over their share of food, speaking animatedly and waving his jerky around as he did. The two boys from the Firehouse seemed amused by the boy, and only looking moderately like they wanted to duck away for any reason. It seemed like Willy's adventure outside Castle Violet had broadened his horizons a little. He noticed her looking and nodded to her before continuing his explanation to the captive boys.

Yvonne was talking with Janice and Kate, and Clementine suddenly realized she was alone in the room. She pulled out the box of ammunition she found in city hall and turned it over, reading the back of the box. Having examined them more closely already, she had noticed they were a caliber size she hadn't encountered before, and she hoped to learn more about it if she could. Unfortunately, the back of the box didn't really have any useful information.

“Hey.” Chad said in a low, heavy voice, attracting her attention suddenly.

“Uh, hey Chad. What do you want?” she said, surprised, and so reacted more harshly than she had intended.

“I just,” he scraped the floor with his heel, “I wanted to say thank you. For telling them to take me in. You could have told them not to take me in, and I'd have been fucked. So... thanks.”

Clementine said nothing in response at first, as if waiting for more. Chad shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

“And?” she finally said.

“Uh, and I'm... sorry?” He said tentatively.

“For?” Clementine again prompted,

“For trying to get you killed. I was wrong. I hope you can forgive me some day.”

She grinned, “Hey, thanks for finally apologizing. I've already forgiven you, but I'm not quite all the way to trusting you just yet. But listen, I've got a job for you while you're in Richmond...”

“Hey, those bullets!” It was Janice. She was looking at the box of handgun ammunition Clementine was holding. The interjection startled Clementine and she just held the box out wordlessly. Janice crossed to her, and plucked them from her grasp.

“These are .32 ACPs. We have a gun that chambers these, and we've been out of bullets for it for weeks.” She said, marveling at them. “And this is, what, 34 rounds? Damn, how lucky!” Janice's cheered expression fell as she looked at the bullets for longer. Clementine could see the cogs turning behind Janice's eyes, as she realized that if she wanted the bullets, she would either have to ask for them for nothing, or give Clementine something of equal value after having just admitted their value to her. Her whole negotiated position about their relationship was one of transaction, and she couldn't admit that it made more sense for the two of them to share freely. She handed the bullets back to Clementine wordlessly.

“Seems like we should do something to unite our bullets with your gun then.” Clementine said.

“Surely you wouldn't just give us the bullets?” Janice said.

“Well, I'm basically just as likely to do that as you would to just give me the gun.” Clementine said brightly, feeling oddly liberated to say whatever she wanted now that the meeting itself was over. Janice frowned, but Kate was the one to speak up.

“Real Gift of the Magi situation, isn't it?” Both of the women looked at her uncomprehendingly.

“You know... the Gift of the Magi? Where some guy trades his watch for a comb for his wife while his wife trades her hair for a chain for his watch?” Still seeing them looking at her like she's crazy, she held her hands up, “Hey, it's just ironic, that's all.”

“You know.” Clementine started, “Yvonne and her group don't have any guns. I remember my people reporting they only have a bow and arrow.” Janice's face showed she clearly understood what Clementine was suggesting, and was less than enthused.

“So, what? We give both halves to Yvonne?” She asked, “Why should we do that? Seems like neither of us gets what we want then.”

“Think of it as a symbol. Like breaking the bread, a sign of what can happen when we interact with each other.”

“I think you're a lunatic.” She said, harsher than Clementine would have expected, and she found herself surprised that she took offense at the insult, but before she could react, Janice tsked through clenched teeth and said, “Fine. Gun's not doing us any good anyway. Those might be the last .32 ACPs in the whole world for all I know. We'll bring it next time.”

Shortly after, the groups began to gather. In the confusions of farewells and preparation, Clementine missed her chance to pull Kate aside and continue their conversation from earlier. Janice was whisking the Richmond survivors towards their vehicle, mumbling something about getting back before dark. Clementine looked with remorse at Kate, who was again all forced smiles, hands idly in her back pockets as she waited for the signal to depart. Chad spoke up suddenly.

“Wait, I need to say goodbye to my people before we go.” He waited for Janice's response.

“Fine, but make it quick.” She responded, obviously annoyed. Chad crossed the distance to Clementine and leaned in to confer silently.

“What was it you wanted me to do? In Richmond?” He whispered, acting suspiciously in a way sure to draw Janice's attention, Clementine pulled him in for a hug, covering her whisper back, “Act normally, don't whisper. Match my voice.” And she released him, correcting his posture as she did.

“When you're in Richmond, keep an eye on Kate.” She said in a normal volume for conversation, but with a lower tone, so it was still harder to overhear. “She needs help, and she's not going to be asking for it. You need to help her with the baby. You need to learn to be worthy of looking after it, and you need to make sure Javier, her husband... uh, I guess he's her husband... is aware of what's going on with her.” Chad looked confused, but nodded.

“I'll keep her safe. Don't worry.” He looked serious. In that moment, Clementine started to trust him just a little. She squeezed his hand and said more normally, “Thanks Chad, for everything. You're welcome back, if you get sick of Richmond in a few months. I hope you find your sister.”

“Thanks boss. Be seein' you.”

She blanched at him calling her 'boss', but made no comment on it.

A short time later, both groups were ready to depart. There were another round of waves and hugs. Clementine couldn't help but notice the one between Louis and Abby was longer than any other. She received reassurances from Kate that she was fine, just struggling, and she reassured Kate that she'd get through her struggles with help from people close to her. Clementine hoped that would be enough. 

The Richmond survivors and Chad loaded into a car. The other two groups of survivors marveled at it, surprised to see one still in working order. Janice smiled proudly, happy to have the chance to show off the might of her settlement that they could send their delegation in a car. Clementine wondered how many cars were left in the world, and if she could even hope to think of an estimate that was anywhere close to accurate. Still, she couldn't quite manage to make herself impressed by Richmond's ownership of the automobile.

Finally, it was time to go, and after the events of the morning, Clementine was careful to pick safe pathways through the streets. The skies had cleared and AJ was looking for rainbows. Willy tried making fun of him for it, but Clementine stepped in very quickly, letting Willy know in no uncertain terms that it was fine for boys to like rainbows. They heard the bells chiming partway out of town, and knew the path was probably safe.

They picked up their pace once they had managed to get out of town. Clementine was concerned they might be caught in the open as weather turned bad again. She wondered how hard it would be to build a shelter halfway between the two locations. She considered the chainsaws bouncing around against Chopsie's flank. With those, it would be far easier. She thought about her negotiation with Janice, and resolved to make the two trees she promised to Richmond big ones. It didn't help anyone to try and cheat the other.

“Is Sam a boy or a girl?” AJ asked suddenly.

“He's a boy.” she said, her surprise coming through in her tone. Then she thought about it, and recalled Sam's features were on the softer side. He had no facial hair, and he was old enough to have at least a little. Sam had worn a form obscuring jacket the entire time Clementine was there, and she realized she hadn't paid that close of attention to him to know for sure.

“Uh... I think.” Clementine was suddenly unsure.

“I sat next to Sam at the meeting. Dude's got breasts.” Louis said. He shrugged. “But he's a guy. Yvonne introduced him as her son. Devon used 'he' or 'him' when talking about him. Sam's a guy.”

Clementine wasn't entirely sure she understood everything Louis was saying, and not entirely because of the language barrier. AJ seemed unsure too.

“One of the Ericson's kids was like Sam.” Louis explained, “She was sent to Ericson's by her parents to... fix her.” A dark cloud passed over Louis' face. True anger hid behind his dark eyes.

“She taught us about gender. That we're not always the gender that corresponds to our bits. That we're all asked to perform, and it's better to perform the roles we want to.” Louis noticed Willy looking at him with a quizzical eye. Clementine helped translate for him, since AJ was too busy processing what Louis was saying to help Willy to understand too.

“Well, I'm not sure I understand, but I think that answers your question, AJ. Sam's a boy.” Clementine said, AJ nodded, and said nothing more. 

A few miles later, Willy began explaining to AJ what charcoal burning was as they walked. Clementine paid attention, and was proud of the questions AJ was asking. She didn't understand what Willy was saying that well herself, but AJ seemed to be getting it. She always thought he was a smart kid, but had assumed he was more of a philosopher than an engineer. Maybe that was just because she herself didn't really know that much about the sciences herself, and had never been able to expose him to that kind of material. Maybe she needed to send him to Richmond, if he was going to become the best version of himself he could be. She shook her head, not ready to imagine being apart from her AJ at the same time she was dreading being away from Violet.

When they arrived, she marked the halfway point with a cairn. It was easy enough to find in any case, but so they wouldn't miss it if they did come out here to build a shelter. They arrived at the site of the previous camp only minutes before sunset, having lost a great deal of extra time in Lexington. The process of setting camp involved a lot more sharp elbows and sharper comments as the tired, cold boys stumbled to create fire in the dim light of the far edge of twilight. Clementine did her best to diffuse the arguments and set Willy, the one she judged to be the instigator, to gather firewood. It was going to be cold again.

Their camp was set and the kids ate the last of their rations in silence. The next day was going to be a hungry day, and the mood was dark around the fire pit as they shivered, waiting for the firewood. Louis shaved twigs and branches into tinder in preparation for Willy's return. They heard a cry of shock and alarm from the woods. Everyone stood at once, eyes wide and searching for the source of the noise. It could only be Willy, in trouble out in the dark.

Everyone set out in the general direction of Willy's cry, fanning out and staying silent, not wanting to give themselves away to a potential threat. Clementine stumbled along behind them, quickly losing pace and needing to rest after she stumbled. Still, she attempted to keep up. She was late arriving at a scene where Willy was picking himself up from the ground, near a fallen walker corpse with its head caved in, and Louis, wiping walker blood off Chairles.

“Are you okay?” Clementine asked, scanning the area for more walkers before sheathing her knife.

“I'm fine.” Willy said, his voice high and his face screwed up in what looked like pain. Clementine shared a look with AJ.

“Let's check you for bites.” she said, advancing. Willy stepped away. 

“Don't bother, I'm not bitten.” he said, defensively. It was the kind of lie that evidenced itself. Clementine got very serious.

“Listen Willy, if you're bitten, we can still save you. You know this. Just let us help you.”

“No, I'm telling you, I'm not bitten.”

“Then you wouldn't mind if we checked?” Clementine asked, stepping forward again. Willy stepped back again. The other two began to fan out, expressions hard. Clementine wished she had sent AJ with the other boy, but knew there was no use regretting now.

“Look...” Willy sniffed, “We can't cut it off. It's... it's not on a limb.” realization dawned on the three of them. Willy was dead, and there was nothing any of them could do about it. 

“Let me just... spend my last night with you guys. I can try to teach AJ the rest of what I know about charcoal burning, and mixing gunpowder, and in the morning, you can put me out of my misery before I turn.”

Clementine's mouth was dry. She hadn't expected to lose anyone so soon. Not like this. AJ's lip trembled and he looked like he was about to lose it. Louis threw Chairles at the ground and stalked around the area, making frustrated, angry noises.

“Okay bucko, one more night together. We'll pretend nothing happened. But you're not going to tell us about any science stuff. You're going to tell us all about your life, and what you want to be remembered for.”

He looked like he was going to argue, then just nodded. The group of survivors gathered the wood he had dropped when attacked, and made their way somberly back to camp. The fire they started did nothing to comfort them. Willy ate alone, the last food they had. It wasn't much of a last meal.

“I was pretty sure I was going to figure out how to make gunpowder. That would have been pretty sick.” He said, swallowing the last of his food.

“I thought I said no science talk.” Clementine said, with no edge to her voice whatsoever.

“Hey you said to talk about my hopes and dreams. I dreamed of a bigger bomb.” Willy said, his voice on the edge of a whine. Clementine shook her head and smiled.

“I should have known. Go ahead, we're listening.”

“I read about gunpowder in one of the books laying around. It's actually pretty simple to make. Apparently it was discovered in China like, three thousand years ago. It's just sulfur, saltpeter, and charcoal, basically. I knew where to get sulfur. It's the yellow stuff in the caves nearby. I rigged up a way to get saltpeter out of Chopsie's piss.” AJ's nose crinkled in disgust at that, Clementine shared his look with him, but said nothing.

“All that was left was charcoal.” he sighed, “Now I'll never see my vision of claymores at our gates.”

“Uh, I don't know if we'd approve laying mines in places we need to, you know, go past, but I appreciate your... uh... dedication.”

“Hey, I promise not to shit on your ideas when you're about to die.” he said, wincing in pain as he shifted. Clementine noticed the blood spot on his lower back. It seemed like the bleeding hadn't stopped.

“Hey buddy, let me take a look at that. She approached, he pulled away, then, realizing he had nothing left to hide, returned to his original position, lifting his shirt so she could see. Clementine splashed some water out of a canteen to wash some of the blood away so she could see the wound better, and gave a start.

“Willy, turn around, let me see this with the light of the fire.” She tried to keep the urgent hope out of her voice. He complied with her direction and rotated. She splashed it again and examined it closely.

“Willy, goddamnit, you're going to live you little bastard.” she ruffled his hair in sudden joy.

“Wait, what?”

“It's not a walker bite, you goober. It's just a cut. You must have landed on a rock or something.”

The others crowded around. The wound on his upper hip was straight and continuous, not caused by teeth. AJ confirmed it, Louis grinned, Willy twisted around, trying to see it better for himself, a broken smile as he tried to reconcile his belief that he was about to die with the fact that he wasn't.

The mood around the camp became much cheerier after that, and the four swapped tales and jokes long into the night. Laughing and carrying on. AJ snuggled on one side of her, and Willy ended up cozying up on the other. Louis looked rather cold on his own in the deepening chill, and Clementine gestured him over to complete their group heatshare. The two young boys were soon fast asleep against the two of them. They grinned at each other. Louis signed something at her that she didn't understand, and she felt suddenly guilty. 

“Hey Louis, I need to tell you something.” She said. He perked up, attentively.

“The night of the raid, the night... Delta attacked. I had the chance to save you and didn't. Because I saved Violet instead.” he nodded slowly.

“I sorta thought so. It was kinda chaotic, but I knew you were right next to me, so I had kinda expected you to help me out.”

“I'm so sorry Louis. If I had known what they'd do to you, I never would have let them take you.”

“Don't worry about it. You said you saved Vi. Right?” Clementine nodded.

“And you had probably just finished making out with her on the roof, right?” she blushed, and looked away, shaking her head,

“No, we talked about taking it slow...”

“Oh, so you chickened out?” He made soft chicken noises, 'bawk bawk bawkaaw', and it was a huge surprise to her to hear him making any kind of noise with his mouth. He had become sensitive to how his grunts and attempts at vocalization had made his friends uncomfortable and had grown disciplined about not making them. Clementine realized she was probably looking uncomfortable now at his mocking chicken noises and forced her face into a shrewd scowl and punched his shoulder.

“Not as much of a chicken as you are, chicken.” she signed, trying to avoid waking the two slumbering children.

“Don't try to change the subject. You were lovesick, looking for a kiss, and couldn't stand the thought you might have missed your chance. I understand.” he said sarcastically.

Clementine started laughing at his antics, and AJ stirred, holding her arm in his hands and groaning his complaint. She quieted, and just shook her head at Louis.

“Hey, Clem, honestly? It's alright. Being captured by Delta sucked, and I wish I hadn't lost... hadn't gotten injured. But I'm actually kinda glad things worked out this way. I like talking like this. I can still make people laugh. If I had a time machine, I wouldn't do anything differently. I wouldn't want to risk changing how things are now.”

“That's amazing. I'm always wondering what would have happened if I had made different choices. Usually right after I make them.”

“I don't blame you. You live a very dramatic life, even for an apocalypse survivor.”

“So you forgive me then?” Clementine asked, after a pause. Her face was plaintive, and apologetic.

“Of course I forgive you, Clem. Now go to sleep. I'll take first watch.”

Clementine settled in, and closed her eyes. The ache of her prosthetic foot reminded her of things she could change, with the aid of a time machine. She thought about Violet and her both surviving, how close that had been, and knew she wouldn't risk doing anything different either.


	12. The Dream

They arrived home the next evening. They had made their way back as fast as they could, hungry as they were. Clementine vowed to leave her prosthetic foot in storage for at least a month and joyfully hopped around the courtyard on her crutches. Willy and Aasim quickly retreated into a corner, examining some papers and inspecting the chainsaws. It was good to be home, safe behind walls. Clementine looked over her group, and felt the camaraderie between each of them. 

The next few weeks passed quickly for Castle Violet's residents. Aasim and Willy worked out how to fell trees safely, and in the blink of an eye they had more firewood than they had ever stored up before. Louis had an idea for reconstructing the cabin near the river using their excess wood, and set about the task with help from Ruby. Violet and AJ began to hunt deer. They had very few bullets for the rifles, but it was judged they could spare a few for the extra meat, but AJ was certain he could do it with only one if he tried hard enough. As a result, the two of them ranged far through the wilderness, but returned empty handed after not getting close enough for AJ to take the shot with confidence.

Willy set up the charcoal kilns in the soft dirt near the riverside. He talked about how he could fish while tending the burning process, and sleep in the cabin once it was repaired. Clementine was unsure how isolated the young man would be, outside their normal routines, but Willy seemed to be excited about the idea. Clementine got the sense after he had been doing it a week that Willy had been born to be a charcoal burner, and thought about what his life would have been like in a world where the dead didn't rise. Somehow, she couldn't picture him working at a telemarketing office.

Violet and Clementine took all the time they could find together. Talking long into the night, waking up and staying in bed long into the mornings. They couldn't spend time in the bell tower, because it got too icy on the roof for Clementine to safely move around. They substituted their stargazing for walks to and from the river. Once the deep freezes came at night, walkers were less active, and it was safer for Clementine outside the walls. 

When Violet was away on a hunting mission with AJ, Clementine had trouble finding productive things to do. She spent time in the greenhouse, but that only required a few hours every week. So she read as much as she could, and took extra time to study ASL, trying not to fall behind as much. She did what she could to help her friends, but realized quickly that they didn't need her. They were capable of sustaining the group without her help. She wondered if she was supposed to be telling people what to do more, since she was the leader. She studied maps of the area, and kept an eye on their food and water stores. 

She imagined herself the captain of a ship in clear waters. Her crew knew everything to do, and there were no orders to give, and her only task was to notice when trouble appeared on the horizon. Even then, Violet was doing what she could to preemptively handle further external threats like Delta, Louis was rebuilding the cabin for Willy's benefit without being asked, Willy had devised his plan to rediscover gunpowder months ahead of Clementine hearing about it for the first time. Her sailors knew what to do when clouds appeared on the horizon as well as when the skies were clear. She wondered why captains even exist. Maybe they started out as a plan to rob people through some elaborate con that got way, way out of hand.

And so the weeks passed. Deep winter set in, and people found excuses to stay inside. The furnace heated the dorm rooms and they stayed warm and comfortable. When AJ finally managed to take down a deer, and the last worries about their food stores lasting the winter dissipated, Clementine truly felt like Castle Violet was paradise in the winter.

On one snowy morning, Ruby had news. The eight survivors living at Castle Violet gathered in the music room to learn there would soon be a ninth joining them. Ruby made the announcement holding Aasim's hand, her other hand over her midsection. The room erupted in joyous congratulations to the pair. Aasim looking nervous and shy, but also extremely pleased. AJ looked confused, and after failing to attract anyone's attention to explain to him what was going on, grew visibly annoyed.

“When are you due?” Violet asked, grinning ear to ear in spite of her best efforts to be cool.

“How should I know? Sometime this summer?” the expectant mother replied with a laugh.

“Shouldn't you be able to count back to the last time you had s-” “Willy!” Ruby interrupted the rude boy.

“Aasim! Going to be a daddy!” Omar slapped his back, “Can you imagine?”

“Uh, I think I can...” He started to reply.

“Don't worry so much! You're going to do great. Care for the little one, and for Ruby Or we're all going to line up to break your fingers.” Omar went on, “One. by. One.” Aasim looked a little green.

“Oh, knock it off Omar, Aasim, honey, he's just messing with you.” Ruby threaded her arm through Aasim's and warded the other boy off to some laughter.

Clementine felt joy surge through her body, but she also felt the burden of concern fall around her. Pregnancy had killed most of the people she had seen get it in the world they lived in, or killed their spirit when the pregnancy was lost. The only exception she knew of being Kate, who had her own set of problems. Bouncing around her head were the thousand and one logistical and medical problems they would face in the next several months, as Ruby became weaker, and required larger quantities of and more varied foods. As the birth got closer, she would need to be monitored by someone who knew what troubles to look for. The paths in her mind kept coming back to Richmond. She wished she had been less rude to Janice.

Ruby and Aasim's gaze fell on her, and Clementine realized the crowd had grown silent, waiting for her response. She smiled, “Congratulations.” was all she said, but the breathy air of hope and care made that one word a speech. There would be time later for concerns. They had lost so many, and now it felt like they could be healing. She embraced Ruby, feeling tears at the edges of her eyes.

“Will someone please tell me what's going on?” AJ said into the fresh silence.

A fresh peal of laughter broke out and Louis tugged on his shoulder, “Don't worry, I'll tell you. You see when a shy loser gets dared to ask someone for a kiss gets-”

“Don't be corrupting the youth Louis. AJ, Ruby is pregnant. What that means is that a new baby is growing inside her, and when it's ready, it'll be born, just like you were born.”

“But, how does it come out?”

“The same way it got in.” Louis signed, but AJ wasn't looking at him, so missed it. Clementine shot him a dark look. She drew AJ aside, out of the attentions of everyone and cleared her throat. She had been reading about this in school textbooks, partly to know how to respond when AJ finally asked about it, and partly because she was curious herself. She had never been taught, and recalled her terror and confusion when she felt her own body changing.

“People who can get pregnant, usually women...” Clementine recalled their discussion of Sam's gender from several weeks ago, adding the addendum for him. “...have bodies that are a little different from yours, they have a path for the baby to get out of their bodies that you don't have. I'll tell you more later if you're curious, but right now, we're going to have fun celebrating a really happy bit of news. Is that okay?”

AJ frowned, and looked back to the group, and to Ruby, looking like he wanted to know more, but nodded. 

It was decided they'd have a party to celebrate. The kids scurried around preparing decorations, braiding flowers from the pea plants in the greenhouse in with bits of colored paper. Digging out their vinyl records. Clementine had the idea to look through their school records and play a game taking bets about whose birthday would be closest to the newborn's when it came. She remembered her own birthday was September 22nd. It was a fact that hadn't mattered to her in years, and she was actually a little surprised she had no trouble remembering. She supposed it was just one of those things that stick with you. 

She was surprised to find Violet's records stated she was born on February 14th. Valentine's day. She resolved to do something really special for her girlfriend on that day. She continued recording birth dates to create the betting pool, but now her mind was on something else entirely. She wondered what kind of gift Violet would like. 

The hour of the party arrived. Louis was manning the record player, swapping records every so often to keep the tempo and tone of the songs upbeat and joyful. Willy had crushed some of their wild fruit with water, giving them some sweet beverages, although they had to chew the beverages almost as much as they drank. The banner read “Welcome, Baby Ruby and Aasim” which, maybe wouldn't be what Clementine would have chosen, but she kept that to herself. Omar sat next to a platter of goodies he had prepared, grilled and chopped chunks of venison on slivers of wood, sliced wild apples, and pea pods boiled and rolled in salt. Clementine popped a couple in her mouth and was pleased with the rush of flavor in the salt, and the rush of her mouth salivating.

Violet was across the room, swaying with the music, eyes half lidded. Clementine looked away, embarrassed and disgusted suddenly with herself. Violet wanted to dance, but she couldn't dance. Not anymore. It wasn't often she felt her missing limb anymore, but she was now.

“Hey.” It was Violet, filling her entire world. She must have noticed her mood souring from across the room, and come directly to her. Clementine felt herself blush at the caring, supportive look Violet was giving her.

“What's wrong?” She asked after a moment, when Clementine didn't respond.

“Nothing I just-” She cut herself short. She took a deep breath and decided to share her feelings with Violet. “It's just- I can tell you want to dance, and I'd ask you to dance with me, but I'm... like this now.” she twitched her left leg. Violet smiled, “Oh, honey.” her voice was loving, “You can still dance. Dancing isn't about putting your feet anywhere. It's about feeling the music, and letting it move you.”

She put Clementine's right hand on her waist, and entwined her own hand in Clementine's left hand, resting on her crutch's hand grip. She placed her other hand on Clementine's shoulder and looked into her eyes.

“Are you ready? We'll start slow.” Clementine said nothing, but nodded almost imperceptibly.

They began swaying, slowly, then with more intent. Eyes locked, she felt the taller girl cradling her, holding her with enough strength she could feel that even if she lost her balance, the other girl could catch her. With that sense, she felt herself leaning into Violet, and the two began moving together. It wasn't the same as that sun drenched room, when they danced before she lost her leg. Clementine was shocked to discover it was better. When the music quieted, Clementine needed to sit, and it wasn't because she was tired.

The two of them passed the night together, alternating between dancing their slow swaying embrace, and sitting in the corner, Violet cradling her. They were alone together among their friends. As the night wore on, Omar declared that they needed to finish the food, or it would go bad. It was when she saw Violet with a chunk of venison held at her mouth, the light at an angle that left her right eye in shadow that something rattled free in Clementine's memory.

“I'd give an eye for a chicken nugget.”

Clementine sat straight up and breathed out an empty exclamation as she realized what she was going to get Violet for her birthday. Her odd noise drew Violet's attention and she had to pretend it was nothing. Clementine's mind raced on how she could recreate an item she didn't even really remember with none of the ingredients that went into it. She smiled in spite of herself. It was impossible, which made it the perfect gift.

Over the next few weeks, she met repeatedly with Omar, first learning what a chicken nugget was, and how it used to be made. Initially, Clementine wasn't very impressed with the idea. It didn't sound that good to her. The essentials seemed to be: some sort of avian flesh, ground into paste, reformed into chunks, rolled in flour, and fried in oil.

They had no oil, so they immediately decided animal fat would have to substitute. She could get animal fat from their butchered deer carcass. Ducks were a pretty common sight in the skies around them, and were probably the closest thing to chicken she'd find out here. Without an idea of where to get flour, she delved into the dean's books on duck hunting. A large portion of the advice was useless to her, relying on modern technology such as a decision of what kind of shotgun was most effective, or what brand duck decoy was best, or the easiest ways to obtain proper license to hunt legally.

Still, she learned that the native peoples of the Americas used to hunt ducks with decoys made from cattail heads. While the books themselves weren't helpful in how to do that, they set her on the right path. She went with AJ to Willy's cabin, to gather cattails from the creek, and also to recruit his help creating the decoys. He seemed grateful for the company. As comfortable as he was without people around, on his own, he still couldn't handle being totally alone.

While there, Clementine admired the thin, blue smoke rising from the mounds of dirt. Willy seemed to notice imperceptible differences in the color and amount of smoke, and frequently dropped his decoy to attend to one of his burnings, either poking extra holes into their heart, or covering a hole up. Clementine was impressed with his technical skill, and was looking forward to the admiration and appreciation of the Richmond survivors at the yield they had managed to produce.

AJ gave Clementine the idea about using cattail roots for flour. AJ, hungry and bored after working for a long time on his decoy, chewed on a cattail stalk. He said it tasted pretty good, and the two of them gathered cattails, along with their roots, to experiment with.

It became an exciting game, keeping her plans from Violet as the elements began coming together. They hid the duck decoys in Willy's cabin. Clementine worked to grind the seeds, the stalks, the roots of the cattails into flour in the classroom behind the greenhouse. She went on trips to nearby ponds with AJ, establishing a duck blind with Louis' help and generally preparing themselves for the hunt. They took Rosie, who was overjoyed to be going on long outdoor adventures. Ruby covered for their absences with Violet, asking her to do tasks that would keep her occupied, unaware of the daily activities of her girlfriend and the others aiding her.

The day before Violet's birthday, having prepared the cattail flour ahead of time, Clementine decided since the whole group had helped in one way or another, they all deserved to get “chicken nuggets” together, and went to her duck blind to hunt there for the first time. It was harder than she expected, because the ducks could sense movement, and she had to be patient, letting her target come to her. With only a bow, she had to wait a very long time for the ducks to get close enough to hope to hit. Finally, after an eternity, three squat birds alighted near the decoy she had set. In one motion, she loosed two arrows, taking the second before it was off the ground. Leaning forward out of the blind, she took her time drawing a bead on the third, and almost let it get away before finding that magical feeling and letting the arrow fly. She knew before it left her bow that it would hit, and saw it spiral over the pond and disappear into the tree cover. Before she could react, Rosie was bounding into the water, swimming and splashing through the shallows, sending all manner of wildlife running from his path. Clementine decided to trust Rosie's training to return with the bird and picked herself up to collect the ones nearby.

She returned home with the three birds. With Aasim and Ruby's help, skinned and prepared them, and hung them in the larder. She and Omar worked together to prepare a test batch, rolling the substitute chicken in the substitute flower and frying it in a substitute oil. The smell of cooking the different animal items together was cloying, and the cattail root breading broke down, turned dark brown, and had trouble peeling off, but the final product was done, and recognizable as a food item.

Omar tried one first, and chewed it thoughtfully, an appraising look on his face, as if he were thinking deeply about every quality it had. Clementine picked one and took a bite. Chewy, and greasy, but with a little crunch on the outside. It tasted somehow bland, and also smoky. Clementine decided she didn't really like it very much, and would have aborted the plan to serve them to Violet if Omar hadn't insisted they could do better the next day.

That night, she curled up in bed with Violet, excited and fearful of the next day. She felt Violet's arms come around her. Violet sniffed.

“You smell like fried chicken.” she said with a confused, curious tone. “Why... how, do you smell like fried chicken?”

Clementine hadn't realized the smell would be hanging around this long, and couldn't think of a convincing lie. “I dunno. I was, uh... helping Omar with cooking a little earlier. Maybe something got on me?”

“No you weren't. You were in the watchtower while Omar was cooking dinner.” Violet's voice wasn't accusatory, but her confusion was clearly deepening.

“No, earlier than that. He was preparing some of the food, flavoring it with something.”

“You're acting weird Clementine, what's going on?”

“Nothing. Unless you're trying to tell me my clothes smell so I should take them off.” Clementine went for a sultry tone, but it felt really off to her. Violet began to chuckle, then to break out in laughter.

“Okay, that's really funny. Pretending you smell like fried chicken as a first step to seducing you. Sounds logical.” She gave Clementine a squeeze, “You want to keep a secret from me. That's fine. As long as it's not that you're having an affair, or about to lead a raider party in to murder us all in our sleep. Those would be pretty lame secrets for you to keep from me.”

“I promise it's not that. Just wait, you'll see.”

And they snuggled in closer together again. Silence drew between them, then,

“Actually, I changed my mind. Take them off.” Violet said, tugging at the hem of Clementine's shirt with sudden intent.

“Right.” the other girl said simply, as she hastily shed her clothing.

The next afternoon, Omar and Clementine were sitting at the picnic tables, making their second attempt at duck nuggets. Clementine wasn't sure hers were an improvement over the previous day at all, but Omar's were coming along. 

“Fuck!” She cried shrilly as another of hers fell apart in the frying fat.

“Be patient, it's not getting a chance to be ready before you're trying to flip it.” Omar said, his voice kind and even. He was used to giving gentle corrections.

“But if it burns, it'll stick worse, won't it?” Clementine felt the whine in her own voice and felt ashamed of it, but was too frustrated to stop it.

“There's a window, between being ready, and being burnt, just get a feel for it. Experiment. See?” He scraped one free and flipped it with the spatula, revealing the light golden breading intact.

“How do you do that?” Clementine marveled at the perfect nugget.

“Practice. I cook every day. I learned by failing, and doing things different. We all teach ourselves. You have too, I understand.” He offered her the spatula, and she struggled to get one of her nuggets to turn.

Clementine thought back to her childhood, mind flooded with memories of Lee, Christa, Kenny, Jane... 

“Mostly I got taught things by adults. I don't think I've ever taught myself anything.”

“That's not how I see it.” Omar paused, and took the spatula back to move some of his nuggets around in the pan, for reasons Clementine couldn't guess at. 

“You might have been given instructions by adults, but you taught yourself. You're a marksman. I remember you telling us you were with Lee for just a few months, right? Maybe half a year? Was he teaching you how to use a gun the whole time?”

“No, just at the end. Just for a few minutes.”

“And you know not everyone who is given a few minutes of instruction are as good as you are?” Omar's question was obviously rhetorical, but still demanded a response.

“No, but what does that have to do with cooking chicken nuggets?” Clementine reclaimed the spatula and flipped her overdone nuggets, cursing again.

“It means it's okay to be bad at something. Being bad at something is good. It means you can fail at it a while. Nothing's as valuable as failure. If at first you don't fail, try, try again.” Omar slid the last of his finished nuggets into a bowl and covered them with a clean cloth. 

“I don't think that's the phrase.” Clementine said, flipping one of her nuggets, and seeing it was underdone on the other side and flipping it back.

“Maybe it should be, in the world we're building.” He suggested in a serious tone.

“You've got a lot of thoughts on how things should be.” Clementine moved the nuggets around in the pan idly, mimicking Omar's movement without understanding why.

“I guess I've got a lot of time to think.” he said, tasting one of his nuggets and giving an appreciative grunt. He stood and said, 

“Those should be ready by now. I'm gonna round up everyone.”

Clementine battled with the last of her nuggets to get them into the bowl safely, and placed them next to Omar's, noting the difference in how appealing their presentations were. She took them into the administration building, where they had set up a small table where they could eat indoors out of the cold. The whole group assembled, some called away from chores, but most emerging from the dorms or music room or from other leisure activities they were engaged in. Clementine met Violet's eyes as she arrived, and Clementine suddenly felt very embarrassed to be calling attention to the girl's birthday in this way. She shook off the feeling and cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. There was no point not doing it now.

“Many of you know why we're here. In fact, I couldn't have put this together without all of your help. As you know, today is Violet's birthday.” Violet looked uncomfortable, but smiled good-naturedly as Clementine continued.

“And for her birthday, I tried to recreate one of her favorite foods from the time before. Chicken nuggets. I, uh, Omar's turned out pretty good,” she pushed the better looking bowl forward, “Everyone helped make them, so I tried to make enough for everyone, but let Vi have some first.”

“Clem, this is so sweet. I can't believe you remembered. I can't believe you figured out how.” Violet said, stepping forward to look more closely at the two bowls of duck nuggets.

“Wait until you've had them, you might not be as impressed then.” Clementine said with a hint of self deprecating undercurrent. Violet deliberately picked a nugget from Clementine's bowl, the ugly, partly burnt ones, and bit into it.

“Whoa, not bad!” she said. “Doesn't taste much like chicken. Rabbit actually would've been just fine, but still. Thank you so much.” she chewed and swallowed, and the whole group descended, each taking some for themselves. The group milled about, talking gaily and eating their way through two ducks worth of nuggets. Clementine smiled to see everyone enjoying the results of her project, and popped one of her own in her mouth as well.

Yeah, not bad is right.

The rest of the winter passed uneventfully. Willy finished a third tree worth of charcoal burning and took a break, relocating back to the dorms. Food started becoming scarce again, despite Clementine's additional duck hunting supplementing their stores. March came, and Ruby went to the meeting alone, riding Chopsie with a cartload of charcoal. Their end of the deal upheld, further charcoal would be shared on an understanding of cooperation.

Ruby returned the following day. To everyone's surprise, she had Abby and her father in tow. As the horse came to a stop, the punk looking girl climbed out of the cart, stretched and looked around at the castle. Seeing Louis, gaping at her, she bounded toward him, speaking aloud.

“Hey Louis, long time no see.” She hugged him, he hugged back unconsciously, and she skipped on past him, exploring the school right away. Her father, the man who had given Violet the ASL dictionary approached Louis and shook his hand.

“It's good to finally meet you Louis.” he said, “My name is Rich.” he said, his signing very deliberate. Louis could tell he had learned sign language as an adult.

“Nice to meet you too. What are you two doing here?” Louis asked, trying to keep his signs deliberate, despite his excitement. Rich looked at his daughter, who was climbing the watchtower to say hello to a rather off put looking Violet.

“Well, Janice, our leader, seemed unsure if your group would deliver on its promises. She wanted to send some Richmond people to remind you all to be productive. Well, Abby volunteered. I'm kind of responsible for her, so I decided I had to come along.” Rich looked at Louis with a hint of severity. Louis swallowed, realizing he was here to chaperon his daughter, around him.

“Well, I'm excited to have a chance to see my friend. I'm sorry she had to volunteer to be a spy to do it, but I won't hold that against her.” Louis said, cracking a nervous smile at the father of his one time crush. He gave the smallest smirk Louis had ever seen, and then Clementine was joining them.

“Welcome. Rick, you said your name was?” Clementine spoke aloud, her hands busy holding her crutches.

“No, Rich.” He said aloud, seeming relieved to have an excuse to abandon signing. “I hope it's not presumptuous of us to come up here without asking first.”

“Not at all,” Clementine symbolically waved his concerns away, “I wanted our two communities to share our people freely. I'm glad to have you two here.” She glanced at Louis, a subtle but suggestive tell.

Violet descended from the watchtower and joined them, frowning.

“Hey, could one of you take over my watch shift?” She asked, glancing back at Abby, who appeared to be goofing off on the raised platform.”

Louis mentally evaluated the situation. If he and Abby sat watch together, Rich would want to keep an eye on them, but if Clementine did, he would be tasked with showing the older man around their grounds, and might have a chance to dispel his worries about his daughter spending time with him. He met Clementine's gaze, who he could tell had a similar thought process. He nodded to her.

“I'll take over. Louis, can you show our guest here where he'll be staying?”

“Yeah.” He nodded enthusiastically. 

After showing Rich his and Abby's room, Louis showed him around further, pointing out where he could find food or clean water, the administration building and explaining what the group used it for, taking him past the graveyard, and finishing at the greenhouse. The deep cold had finally come at night, and the plants had gone to seed, but the presence of the greenhouse was meant to assure Rich of the security their settlement had.

“So as you can see, once spring comes around, we'll have this place covered in vegetables.” Louis bragged.

Rich nodded, looking thoughtful. The pause dragged out and Louis realized he didn't have anything else to show the older man about the school. Finally, he broke down and said,

“You know, you don't have anything to worry about, with your daughter and me.”

Rich guffawed, “Oh really? I suppose I should just trust you then?”

“I mean, yeah.” Louis said, growing annoyed at his tone. Rich laughed.

“I'm not here to keep her honor intact, or something like that. I'm here for her safety. You can relax kid, I don't care you have a crush on her.”

“Had. Had a crush.” Louis corrected him halfheartedly, “But what do you mean by 'her safety'?”

“You know how, uh... eccentric she is. She fully trusts people, doesn't have a filter. A raider or other dangerous stranger could say anything to her and she'd believe them. I'm not sure if you've seen her like this, but she gets frustrated, angry. So angry she's pretty much inconsolable. When she's like that she's loud, and isn't really aware of where she is. That puts everyone around her in danger. I'm pretty used to her moods by now, and can watch her, get her somewhere safe, somewhere safe for everyone, before she's a danger to anyone.”

“Oh.” was all Louis said. He and Rich stood awkwardly in the cool greenhouse, the smell of earth and fertilizer and decaying flowers between them.

“So if a guy were to show interest, you wouldn't be...” Louis led off

“Well, I'm still a dad, you can't expect me to be overjoyed at my daughter growing up and being interested in boys, but no, I'm not here to stab you for looking at her or anything like that. Just be careful and-”

“Actually, I was going to say that you don't need to worry about me, because she's already told me she isn't interested. We're just friends.”

“Oh.” It was Rich's turn.

“HERE you guys are!” Abby entered the greenhouse with a storm of energy. “Come on, Louis. Clementine promised she'd take us fishing. Get your coat.” she grabbed his hand and all but dragged him out the door.

“Oh hi dad!” she said as the door swung shut behind her.

March passed this way, with Abby and Rich joining the group and finding a place among them. Violet was set to leave for her Blue Ridge Mountain training in April, when Ted and his people returned to collect her. She and Clementine were spending as much time together as they could while they had the chance. Louis and Abby grew closer as well. Louis felt like they had entered a bizarre midpoint between friendship and a romantic relationship. He didn't know anyone else who would spend morning, noon, and night with one other person, but they didn't discuss their relationship any further than that night above the firehouse.

The decision was made to send Ruby and Aasim to Richmond for the remainder of their pregnancy. It made sense to send them while Ruby was still able to make the journey safely. Aasim could watch over her and make sure she was cared for, and be there for the birth of his child. Still, it left Castle Violet relatively empty, just as they were leaving the dreary winter behind.

The day after the two left for the April 1st meeting, intending to go on to Richmond after, a person was spotted in the woods near their home. Willy, having moved back into the cabin and started a new cycle of charcoal burning, approached the gate calling softly in warning. Clementine, AJ, Louis, Abby, and Violet gathered just inside the gate to hear him.

“I was out by the river and I heard singing. From upstream. Sounded like a man, but I didn't wait around to get a good look. He's going to see the kiln piles and know there's people here.” Willy said, still catching his breath.

“Maybe he'll see there are people here and just leave. Most survivors don't usually want trouble.” Louis suggested. He seemed less anxious about dealing with survivors than before, but it was hard not to see the tinge of fear around his eyes.

“We'd better make sure of that, though. We don't want to let raider groups through our territory.” Violet pitched in. Clementine frowned. She was already seeing herself as a Ranger, responsible for other settlements around them.

“We can't go into this expecting a fight. We don't know enough yet. But yeah, we need to see who we're dealing with.” Clementine stated. “I'll ride Chopsie and greet him, AJ, Violet, you cover me. Louis, Abby, you cover Violet and AJ. I don't want our ambush to get ambushed.

“Sure, let me just tell my dad and-” 

“We're leaving now, Abby. There's no time to find him.” Violet interrupted, gathering some of their mismatched firearms from their armory and distributing them to the group. Clementine wordlessly refused one. She imagined contact being less fraught without overt threats of escalation. She glanced at Violet handing one of their handguns to Abby. The two girls didn't get along, and Clementine could tell things weren't getting less tense between them as time went on. She wondered if she was going to have to mediate something between them, but for now, she trusted Violet to be professional.

They set out, east through the gates and towards the river, tracing the directions Willy had given them to where he had heard the man's approach. AJ and Violet fanned out to either side of the road, and Louis and Abby fell behind to keep from being spotted, and Clementine was suddenly very nearly alone. As they approached the kilns near the cabin, they heard the music.

It was hard to really describe it as music at first. It was a metallic hum-whisle, changing tune smoothly and almost continuously. It seemed familiar to Clementine, but she couldn't place it until the man came into view. He was sitting near the kilns, holding a metal rectangle to his lips, blowing into it as he moved it from side to side. She realized it was a harmonica, something she had forgotten until now about the old world. His white beard mostly covered by his hands as he flapped to modulate the tone of his instrument. She walked Chopsie closer when she didn't see anyone else nearby.

“Hello.” She said, when he didn't stop playing at her approach. He looked up and set his instrument aside. He didn't make a motion, but Clementine saw he had a handgun in a shoulder holster. His bright blue eyes settled on her.

“Hello. I figured someone would be out to check on these fires before long, and I didn't want to sneak up on anyone.” He held up the harmonica, “In my hands, this isn't much more than a noisemaker anyway.”

“What are you doing in these woods?” Clementine asked.

“I'm just a traveler, on my way from here to there. You don't happen to have any spare food?”

“You're all alone out here?” 

“Yep, just coming now from up north. Seeing the world. You know you've got some fucking fascists upriver?” His voice became harsh, saying the F word, as if he could not possibly say the word without injecting it with his vitriol.

“You mean Delta? Yeah, we've fought them. What's your name?”

“My name? You can call me Alexander. Alex, if you like. If you've fought Delta, you might be comrades. Are you peaceful?”

“We're not raiders, but we know how to defend ourselves, if that's what you're asking.”

He slapped his knee, and stood up. “Yeah, sounds like you're comrades. Listen, I've been traveling a while, and I'm out of food. If you all could spare something I'd greatly appreciate it.”

Clementine looked down at the dirt-stained old man, walking stick in hand, worn backpack near his feet, and imagined herself in his place. She had gotten hard, in her time on the road, and knew what it was like to trick and steal to eat, and never once did it occur to her to just beg for what she needed. Finally, she motioned to the woods, silently calling out her friends.

“These are some of my group. We'll take you to our home, where you can have a share of food, but we don't really have much this early in the spring.”

The four kids who had been hidden filed out into the open. Louis looked at the man with disbelieving eyes and asked, “Wait, isn't this John?” to Abby. Abby signed back, “Wait, who's John?”

“The weird guy from the side of the road. We met him when we were on our way to Lexington for the first time. This is him, isn't it?” He said. Clementine only caught part of what he was saying because she was focused on keeping one eye on the old man. Abby spoke aloud.

“Hey, didn't we meet you like, 4 months ago, in the woods? Didn't you say your name was John?” The man rubbed his eyes and examined them.

“Well, I'll be damned. It is you.” he said. “Yeah, that was me. You helped me then too, didn't you? Small world.” he chuckled.

“Which is it then, are you John, or are you Alexander?” Clementine said, danger in her tone.

“Oh, neither. I got used to using fake names around people. See, I spend so much time on my own now that I get to thinking, what's a name even for? Does it contain all the things that I am, that I do? If my name is Peter, and Peter is a person who, I dunno, likes tacos, then what happens when I'm not Peter anymore? What if I go by Dave? Does Dave still like tacos?”

“What?” Clementine said, face screwed up in confused annoyance.

“Uh, nevermind. If you want, I can tell you what name I went by before the dead started walking, but it's just a name. You can call me John, if that's what you remember me best as.”

“Look, whatever. Maybe it's best if you just were to move on.” Clementine felt sick saying it, but hated the idea of letting someone shady into their home and possibly endangering her friends. She imagined his face looking back at her in the form of a walker on down the line, and blanched at the sudden prophecy. Louis attracted her attention, then said,

“Hey, don't worry about him. I'll keep an eye on him. He'll be my responsibility. Let's let him in, huh?”

John, not being able to understand ASL, gathered his things together and made as if preparing to go, but his body language clearly hoped Louis was interceding on his behalf. His blue eyes turned in hope towards Clementine,

“So, shall I get going? Or do you want me to escort me through your territory? I'm trying to get south and west, towards Appalachia, if that's not too big a bother.” He spoke slowly, giving her chances to interrupt him. Finally she sighed,

“Okay, look. You can stay with us for a short time. Enough at least to get your strength back. But Louis here is going to be keeping an eye on you. Don't try to wander off alone, I'm not sure we can trust you yet.”

“Oh, you won't regret it boss, I'll pull my weight while I'm here.” his face split in a relieved look, although it also had a strength that made her sure he would have found a way to survive after all.

“Don't call me boss.” Clementine said. The man simply nodded, accepting right away. She kicked Chopsie into motion and they started the return trip to the castle.

Clementine watched Louis watching John on the ride back to Castle Violet. The two walked side by side ahead of her, unable to communicate directly, and too distant from AJ to ask for him to help translate. Yet they were oddly bonded, by the responsibility Louis took on to watch him, Clementine supposed. She wondered at Louis' motive, vouching for the stranger, and quietly hoped this was him growing beyond his trauma. 

She looked down to AJ, walking beside her, who was overtly keeping his own eye on the stranger among them, and she wondered how it got to be this way. She wondered if life was different before the walking dead, but in her mind, she could only see how the world they lived in now was built by the people who lived in the world before. Maybe the whole world right now was such shit because of the world the survivors remembered, not because of the dead.

The group entered the gates of Castle Violet, Omar once again rolling his eyes at newcomers. Clementine wondered suddenly if he was just annoyed at the change in meal proportions, and smiled at the idea that what she had taken for fear of outsiders was just annoyance at adjustments to dinner plans. John was given some jerky to tide him over, and Louis practically dragged him, along with AJ towards administration. She wondered if Louis's motivation was actually just wanting someone to play music with.

That night, John regaled them with his tales of having traveled up the east coast of what was once the United States, through the swamps near their former capital, and seeing the ruins that were once the monuments and seats of power of that nation.

“I had a notion to go to the White House, the place where the President used to rule from. Get into the oval office, sit in his chair. Maybe cut a sliver from the Resolute Desk as a souvenir... but there was a herd in the area. I got to thinking it didn't really matter. The White House, Oval Office, Resolute Desk. These things don't mean anything anymore. In a few years, no one will remember, and maybe that's better. I could cut a sliver from the desk, but it isn't really the Resolute Desk anymore, and no one would recognize it, or care, if I had a piece of it or not. I saw the white house from a long way off, and from where I was standing, without anyone to clean it, it was pretty brown and gray.”

The group was captivated by his story, and he spoke of his continued adventures northward, being ensnared by a violent group, escaping, getting frozen in at a cabin he thought was somewhere in rural Pensylvania, deciding to give up his quest for Niagara Falls and head back to Appalachia while his skin was still intact.

Clementine's mind fixated on the idea of the National Mall, Capitol Hill, and White House as ruins. She leaned on the picnic table in front of her, resting her head propped up on her palm. She thought about vines creeping, the natural world reasserting itself over the world of men.

She was with Violet, looking out over the Grand Canyon, but it was just a painting of reds and purples, half remembered from pictures she had seen before, and blurry. Vines began to grow out of the wall it was hanging on, and Clementine grabbed the painting, yanking at it, trying to free it from the vines.

“What are you doing?” Violet said,

“I'm trying to save it.” She said, “It's going to fall.”

Upon saying the word 'fall', she looked down and realized the painting had been hanging over a massive pit, and she was holding onto the painting now for dear life. The painting of the Grand Canyon was suddenly flimsy, and the edges she was holding turned into dirt in her hands and fell away and she was falling.

And she awoke with a start. She was still at dinner, John was still talking. She looked around to be sure no one had seen her fall asleep, and smoothed her clothing self-consciously. Violet smirked at her, and she shot her a look in return.

John was playing a song now, on one of the instruments from the music room that no one knew how to play. It was a stringed instrument that looked like a funnily shaped guitar. He plucked out a simple tune on it, and vocalized along with it. Clementine waited a polite length of time and excused herself. She was happy the rest of the Castle Violet crew were enjoying the music, but she was tired and only wanted to go to sleep.

A few days later, Ted and his fellow Rangers presented themselves at the gates. Spring had come, and it was time for Violet to leave. In Clementine's mind, that was how fast the process of being separated from Violet was for her. From another person's perspective, Ted, Gerry, Sue, Bill and Sheila stayed with them for two days, helping with digging out a plot in their courtyard for their produce and helping to prepare them for losing one of their number for a time.

“Hey old timer.” Ted said simply, upon seeing John for the first time. They were lounging around the courtyard, waiting for Omar to finish cooking dinner. Violet sat up with attention when she noticed the two interacting as familiar. Omar stirred the stew idly. AJ and Willy ran and played, getting out some of their energy after being cooped up during wintertime.

“Ted! Looking thin. Galavanting around during the winter? That's gonna kill you some day.” John said with a grin, sitting on the picnic table trying to mend a hole in his shoe.

“Ha. Ha. Hypocrite. Did you make it up to Niagara Falls?” Ted rolled his toothpick around his teeth.

“Not this time. Did you know survivors around that area are huge assholes?”

“No, I've never had the pleasure. Did you share your philosophy with them?” Ted leaned on the tabletop with his palms, nearly supporting himself entirely on his forearms.

“Somehow they didn't take to it.” John said, waving his shoe at Ted for emphasis.

“I'm sure they were Fascists.” Ted said quickly

“Hey, if the shoe fits, wear it.” John shot back just as fast. He put the shoe back on, experimentally, and pulled it off again with a disappointed sigh.

“Hang on, you know each other?” Clementine asked, surprised.

“Yeah, Pete here is kinda a founding member of the Blue Ridge Rangers.” Ted explained, looking with clear affection at the older man. 

“Hudson had already had the basic idea, I'm nothing's founder.” John-or-Pete said.

“Keep dodging accolades, we'll write your name down. Make statues of your ugly mug. Kids in a thousand years will bow down before you.” Ted said, talking fast.

“Ugh.” John-or-Pete shuddered in overt disgust. “Anything but that.”

“I feel like I've missed a few dozen steps here.” Clementine said, half wanting an explanation and half thinking about just walking away and letting the whole topic drop.

“Years ago, just after the outbreak, Hudson, a vet and bluegrass fan decided to try to take shelter in his old army base. There, he found a few other people who had a similar idea. All military trained. Most with weapons, but no real idea how to survive long term. Hudson took command and had he idea of extorting other settlements for resources, weapons, food, whatever we needed to survive. Hudson maintained the peace by kidnapping some survivors, and pressing them into service to oppress other survivors elsewhere.” Ted explained. His tone was sarcastic, jovial, while describing behavior he clearly thought was monstrous, yet Clementine got the sense he wasn't exaggerating or diminishing the events he was describing, just relating them, dirty laundry intact.

“These enterprising souls had the misfortune to capture me on the road somewhere.” John-or-Pete put in. “Wouldn't stop talking. Talked until their ears bled.”

“It was the singing that made our ears bleed, old man.” Ted quipped. “He convinced us we were doing things wrong, that we should shake it up a little bit. Said we'd be stronger his way. Called us Fascists a whole bunch.” Ted said

“That's what really convinced you.” John-or-Pete said, obviously with some self-deprication.

“What is a Fascist?” Violet asked.

“Well, ask three people and you'll get four answers,” Ted said, “But I think the best short answer is a cult that worships death, consisting of losers, who believe through service to a charismatic leader, they can finally win by contributing to their leader's vision, even if it means they have to sacrifice everything they have, and everything they are to that vision. There's also a major racial component, but that's a whole 'nother topic.”

“And what are you, if not that?” Omar put in. Clementine hadn't realized he was even listening.

“We're losers who think we're going to keep failing for a hundred million years, so fuck it, let's be good to each other in the meantime, and put one more brick in the foundation by doing it.” He responded.

“Foundation of what?” Violet asked, but Omar stood then, announcing the meal was ready. In the movement of people pressing forward with their bowls, the moment was lost, and the question went unanswered.

It was the night before Violet was set to leave. They'd be off at dawn, marching out of Clementine's reach, on an adventure she couldn't be a part of. The two of them were curled around each other, no longer for warmth, but for a comfort that seemed elusive to both of them. After another flip resulting in elbows and knees in common, Violet said,

“Are you okay, hun?” in a tone that understood she wasn't.

“I'm just having trouble getting to sleep. I'm fine.” Clementine replied. They were silent. Violet was still, letting Clementine decide if she wanted to continue.

“I'm worried, Vi.” Clementine said finally, “The world is a dangerous place, and you're going to be out in it for a while. How do I know you'll come back?”

“I promise I'll come back.” Violet started, but Clementine interrupted,

“We're going to have this conversation every single time you go out. Every single time, you're going to promise to come back, and every time but one you'll be right.”

Violet propped herself up on her elbows. Clementine rolled half away from her, facing the wall.

“Well, I guess that's true. But what's the alternative? I stay here forever? I still would promise I'd come back every time I went out to fish. That would also be true until it wasn't.”

“I know, but you have to let me be sad and worried sometimes.” Clementine said softly. Violet didn't answer right away. After a moment, she began rubbing Clementine's shoulder softly,

“Okay. You can be worried.”

Clementine shifted in place, turning around to face Violet.

“So why are you still awake?”

“Someone in my bed keeps elbowing me in the side.” Violet said, demonstrating with her own elbow.

“Come on, Violet, I can tell something's wrong.” Clementine said, serious tone cutting through Violet's deflection. Violet sighed and flopped over on her back. She didn't answer right away, and Clementine adjusted herself to wait for her reply, looking at her in the dark with patient eyes.

“I'm afraid I'm making a mistake.” she said heavily.

“Oh?” Clementine asked, surprised.

“I haven't left Ericson's since the world changed. It's my home. In a way, the borders of the forest, are the boarders of my whole world. I'm making the world bigger, I'm seeing who is out there, and the last time that happened, a lot of people died.”

Clementine draped one arm over the other girl, thinking about her response before carefully putting it into words.

“I think you're so impressive, Vi. You've suffered, but you don't let your suffering cloud your judgment. You know this is the right thing to do. You're building something, reaching out, when someone weaker might hole up, knives out, and turn bitter and mean.”

“I think you should go to sleep, Clem.” Violet said with an affectionate smirk.

“I spent three years almost entirely alone, with AJ, because I lost him once. I avoided or robbed every group I came across that whole time. I justified myself by saying that I'm just doing to them what they'd do to me if they got a chance. I felt like I knew that, because of my previous bad experiences. But the first time I changed my mind, decided to try and join a group for real rather than look out for myself, I found you guys.”

She sighed, and neither said much of anything for a few moments.

“You really took your time getting here. Richmond can't be more than a day or two by car, but it took you three years? Did you fall into a black hole or something?” Violet asked. Clementine didn't respond. Violet looked over at her, and saw her eyes were closed, mouth slack and already drooling a little. She rolled her eyes and flipped onto her side.

“Goofball.” she said. 

The tabby jumped up on their bed and curled up next to Violet. She pet the cat idly while she thought about what Clementine had said, and soon she was asleep as well.


	13. Trigger Warning possible suicidal behavior

The following morning, Ted and the other Rangers departed with Violet. Pete, which was John's given name, had opted to stay behind with the Castle Violet crew, rather than returning to the Rangers' base. He gave some excuse, but Clementine was sure he was vetting them for membership in the Rangers. At the gates, Clementine and the other girl privately shared their goodbyes and intimate promises with all the passion and naivety of young love. Not a minute after the departing were out of sight, winding down the forest paths toward the main road, life resumed at Castle Violet. They had seedlings to transplant, traps to repair. A hundred tasks lay before them, and they didn't disappear because one of them was heart sick.

They set a garden in the courtyard that would soon give them beans and peppers. Louis and Abby organized a day of rest and play once a week, now that they didn't have to work every single day just to continue to survive. They came up with games of skill and chance and athleticism, and Louis would play piano on that day for as long as anyone cared to listen. Pete taught Abby and Louis new songs, and would play alongside them. There was still work to be done on that day, feeding and caring for Chopsie, cooking and cleaning, keeping watch, but they didn't care the garden, chop wood, or set traps. It became a ritual, and something everyone looked forward to.

Weeks went by, the garden began to grow in. AJ seemed to grow six inches overnight. Willy successfully fired a recycled bullet for the first time, to much fanfare. Clementine read her way through the Dean's collection book by book. One caught her interest about an American weapons manufacturer living in Europe during a war that spread to the whole world. It was fascinating to her, but she found it unbelievable to think of that many people killing for such trivial reasons as nations.

The time came for another visit with Richmond, and lacking either Ruby or Violet, Clementine sent Pete. She had grown more trusting of him over time, so didn't worry he'd run off with Chopsie. He took with him a sizable load of charcoal, about half of Willy's supply. He returned with more new arrivals. Chad, and to Clementine's relief, Sarah, unharmed, steel in her eyes, and hair still entirely too long. Along with the children, Pete also returned with newly forged tools, a hoe, pickaxe, a long knife, and a sword. 

Clementine hoisted it quizzically, “Hey, did anyone request a sword?” she asked. Abby perked up, “Oh.” she said, surprise and embarrassment evident on her face.

“I forgot that I asked for it. But it's not for me. It's for Louis.” She said. Clementine handed the sword to the girl in the leather jacket mutely, not sure how to react.

“His weapon, Chairles, is going to get him killed. I just want him to be safe.” she said, color on her cheeks. Clementine had never seen her act like this before. She ricocheted between topics, never slowing down, never showing embarrassment, and now she was still and petrified, babbling characteristically, but rambling.

“Abby, you know he's got a thing for you. Why don't you just tell him how you feel?” Clementine said, trying to cut through her haze.

Abby shook her head,

“No, no. I'm not all here.” she gestured vaguely at her head, wry smile on her lips, “Better we stay friends, I don't know I can be what he wants anyway.”

“Look, Abby. We're all broken inside. There's no virtue in being some ideal, perfect human. Louis can figure it out. Or not. Just don't think you don't deserve his affection for any reason.”

“He's going to think I was playing games with him before.” She didn't look at Clementine, and a mournful look took over her features. Clementine drew her aside where no one would overhear them, or see her upset.

“I think he'd be pretty stupid to turn you down for changing your mind. But is that what you really want?” Clementine tempered her tone, wondering if she was making a mistake to encourage the older girl. “Being friends is enough for Louis, and I'd hate to see his heart broken if you change your mind again.”

The other girl went quiet, quieter than Clementine had ever seen her before. She clutched the sword mutely, staring off into space. Clementine waited for the other girl to respond, and after a few moments passed, decided Abby needed some time alone.

“I'll let you think about it, but if you come to a decision, one way or the other, I'll support you.” And she made to turn away and leave.

“How did you and Violet get together?”

“Uh...” Clementine turned back to Abby, rubbing the back of her head with her free hand. “I guess I just kinda told her I had feelings for her. I dunno, it was awkward, but it turned out fine.”

“How did you know she liked you back?” Abby said, standing more casually, returning to her previous confident demeanor moment by moment as her feelings weren't the topic any longer. Clementine smiled a confident smirk.

“Trust me, I could tell. She wasn't very good at hiding it.” She relived the weeks before the Delta raid, catching Violet looking at her when she thought she wouldn't be noticed. She remembered the cute passion she had in their arguments. Violet would make up objections to Clementine's plans just to have an excuse to have something to talk about. She remembered Violet's face when she admitted she had a crush on someone like it was yesterday. Clementine could play it off to Abby that she had always known, but it was that moment, seeing Violet's face as she pretended not to be interested, that made Clementine confess her feelings.

“You just need a good opportunity, some time the two of you can be alone and not interrupted, and just tell him straight out. It'll go fine, I'm sure of it.”

Abby nodded, and looked across the courtyard. Clementine followed her gaze and saw AJ sitting at a picnic table, drawing, and Sarah, the newcomer, looking shyly at him from across the courtyard. She clearly wanted to join the boy, but was unable to approach. Clementine watched the two children for a moment, seeing if they could resolve their shyness themselves, before deciding to try and help. She nodded to Abby,

“See you around, Abby.” and she picked up her crutches and made her way over to AJ.

She sat next to him, looking at the results of his handiwork. It was a picture of the tabby, with a mouse in its mouth. 

“Hey buddy. Nice drawing.” he grunted his acceptance of her compliment, not looking up from the picture. “Hey, you know who might like to draw too? Sarah. She might like it if you asked her to join you over here.” She said it gently, to make it sound like a request.

“Why? She's free to join if she wants.” AJ said, swapping pencils for a different color. Clementine allowed a moment to pass before continuing.

“I think she wants to, but doesn't think you want to be bothered. She needs you to tell her you want to share your pencils with her.”

“What if I don't want to share my pencils though? They're my pencils, and she might break one.” AJ asked, voice completely absent any hint of whining. He was serious.

“Well, you can choose not to share your pencils, but you should still invite her to sit with you. And maybe then you'll want to share your pencils, because you'll see how happy it would make her.”

AJ was silent, he looked at Clementine with eyes that asked silently, “Do I have to?”, but he nodded. Clementine sighed as he crossed the courtyard with his picture in hand. She knew his hesitation came from behaviors she had modeled for him. She had taught him selfishness, distrust, and many other childish things. She couldn't hear what AJ said, but could tell from her shy smile and nod that he had followed her instructions. The two returned to the picnic table. Sarah folded her hands on the tabletop, her eyes darting between AJ and the box of spare pencils.

“Hi Sarah. I'm glad to see you again.”

“Uh huh.” She said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Thanks for not killing my brother. He can be kind of an idiot sometimes.”

Clementine smiled, AJ continued drawing.

“You must have been very brave to leave him to go on to Richmond yourself.”

Sarah shrugged. She looked uninterested in Clementine's questioning.

“What do you think AJ?” She asked, trying to prompt interaction between the two kids.

“About what?” 

“Sarah making it all the way to Richmond herself? Seems like she could teach you a thing or two about survival.” Clementine prodded. AJ looked up from his drawing for the first time, a quizzical look on his face.

“We GAVE her directions. Not much you can screw up about that.” Sarah nodded in agreement with AJ. Clementine gave up. She held her hands palm up, then slapped the table with them, pushing herself up to stand.

“Well, have fun kids. I'll check in on you later, AJ.” and she walked away, looking over her shoulder as she went. Sarah was at least still sitting at the table with AJ, even though neither of them were talking. Clementine rolled her eyes. Getting them to talk was like pulling teeth, but at least she tried. She was just turning back to watch where she was going when Chad appeared in front of her. She stopped just before slamming into him with an exclamation, “Whoa.”

“Hey, Clementine, can I talk to you real quick, uh, alone?” He said, with no apology for almost running into her.

“Sure. Uh, let's go to Administration.” She said, glancing around at the courtyard, where enough newcomers had arrived to make them feel crowded, even missing several Castle Violet residents. She suddenly felt the lack of Violet in her life, and was pulled down into darkness for a moment. She pushed those feelings down, gathered her leadership mask about her features, and led Chad off away from the group.

They entered the Administration building together, and Clementine led him up the stairs and to the office. She picked her way up the stairs carefully, but quickly. She thought of the day she settled on the plan to search the ski lodge for winter clothing, putting her on the path to meet Chad. On that day, she had practically crawled up the steps on hands and knees. Over the weeks and months since, she had ascended and descended so many times on her crutches that now she could do it unthinkingly. Naturally.

The two gained the landing, and Clementine indicated the door with the scorch marks. Chad held it open for the two of them as they both entered. Rosie perked up from her bedding, having been awakened from a nap. Clementine sat in the desk chair, and let Rosie put her head fully in her lap, scratching behind her ears. Chad stood awkwardly on the other side of the desk, keeping a wary eye on Rosie. She hadn't liked him very much the last time he was at the school.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Clementine asked, feeling oddly giddy at the boy's discomfort around Rosie, and feeling bad about that at the same time. Chad stood straighter.

“I wanted to let you know, I left Kate in good hands. She's doing better, I think. But...” Chad's spine bent, “She, uh... she hurt herself first. Before I was able to convince anyone anything was wrong.”

A dark void opened behind Clementine's eyes. In it she saw Jane, in midair, kicking and clawing at her. She breathed in, held it, and let it go slowly.

“Clem...entine?” Chad said, slowly, looking at her with a concerned look. She swallowed, disliking the boy suddenly, sure he was concerned only for his own skin.

“What happened?” Clementine asked in a growl. Rosie whined a complaint at her suddenly rough fingertips.

“Well, I was looking after Eva, so she could do laundry, but she was gone too long, and by the time I found her, she had taken a bunch of pills. With some alcohol.” he swallowed with some difficulty.

“You said she was okay?” Clementine leaned forward, 

“Yeah, she claims she wasn't trying to kill herself. I'm not sure anyone really believed her, but just... well, she was pregnant again.”

The realization came over her. She didn't want more kids. Clementine shuddered. She suddenly understood Kate, when she had said Clementine was lucky for being with another woman. She couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to be in Kate's situation.

“Oh my god, poor Kate.” Clementine said. “And you came back here? I thought I made it clear I wanted you to keep an eye on her mental state.” She flipped between reserved horror and anger at a snap. Chad held up his hands to ward off her anger.

“I was getting to that! Up until the incident I was trying to get people to pay attention to her, Javier, Loren, Kate herself. No one paid any attention, but after, everyone felt so bad about missing the signs, they promised to do a better job. Kate too. I figured she was in actually good hands now, and Sarah wanted to come here, so I decided to come here and protect my sister.” 

“Don't bring your sister into this. She can look after herself, you know that perfectly well. You were getting out of a situation too hard for you. Doing whatever you want, like you always do.”

He shrugged, “Did you intend me to keep watch over Kate for a year? Forever? How was I supposed to know? You didn't give me a timeframe, and YOU said I was welcome back here in a couple months. Well, it's been a couple months.”

“That was before... she... you should have stayed. You should have known to stay.” Clementine growled at him. Rosie yelped, finally fed up with Clementine making her lap uncomfortable for scratches, and retreated to her bedding, pausing to sniff Chad's hand and give him an experimental lick first. The pause, as Rosie moved, gave them a moment to catch their breath.

“I'm sorry. I really wouldn't have left if I thought Kate was in any danger. I care about her too, now. If you want me to go back, I will.”

Clementine wasn't ready to release her anger, but couldn't condemn the boy entirely, “No, you're free to stay if you want. I said what I said, and I guess I meant it. I just wish you had better news. Get out of my sight.” She said. He nodded, and crossed to the door, looking back before closing it behind him. She buried her head in her palms, replaying what Kate had said at the meeting, wishing she had spared more time for the woman. She replayed everything she had said, and wondered if there was anything else she could have said that could have better reassured Kate of her support, better encouraged her to seek support of others.

Rosie had returned to her side, and laid down solidly on Clementine's foot. Her reassuring weight brought her back to the present, and she bent over in her chair to scratch the mutt's belly. Rosie responded by climbing up onto her lap and licking her in the face. Laughing, Clementine warded the dog's smelly mouth and tongue away from her face.

“Hey, girl, stop it, haha.” and she pet the panting, excited dog as she looked up at her, “Thanks girl. I think I needed that. I'll apologize to Chad later. Don't worry. I just can't quite yet.”

Rosie looked at her with a happiness that Clementine was sure would have been the same no matter what she said, but took it as endorsement for an apology.

Louis lay on his bunk in his room, fiddling with a tangled length of twine. The sun had gone down, leaving him in the dark, but he went on by feel. He was making no progress, but the act itself was calming to him, like finding the solution to a maze or a puzzle. It was more relaxing at least than being alone with his thoughts about Abby. As hard as he tried to bury or banish the thought of being with her, they always resurfaced. Particularly at night.

A soft knock came at his door. He sat up, not sure he heard it or had imagined it. The door opened and Abby slipped in carrying something and shut the door behind her quietly.

“Hey” she said, just above a whisper. Louis put aside his knotted twine and said,

“What are you doing here?” But it was too dark for Abby to make it out. He began fumbling with the candle at his bedside, and Abby approached to try and help. She set aside her burden with a metallic clang, and offered up a lighter. Together, the wick flared to light the two. 

“What are you doing here?” he repeated his question. She sat down next to him, far enough away for them to talk, but only just.

“I've got something for you. A gift, I guess.” She pointed at the bundle, now sitting across from them. After a moment, he started to stand to retrieve it, but Abby pulled him back down, to sit.

“Just a sec.” She said, “Let's just... sit... for a minute.” She looked at him sideways, head inclined, so she looked like she was looking up at him, even though they were both sitting, and almost eye to eye. “Please?”

Louis didn't have it in him to refuse a request made that earnestly, and besides, they were now sitting too close for him to speak and be understood. He sat with her, observing her out of the corner of his eye, mentally tracing the lines of her neck, her asymmetrical hair, her face, in profile, as she stared ahead with a determined look on her face. Louis needed to know what she was thinking, but was too cowardly to ask. He looked away, unable to handle the sight of her any longer without bursting. Moments passed into minutes, and Louis had no idea what to do.

“Louis?” she finally broke the silence. 

“Yeah?” Louis responded, leaning away just a little to be understood.

“Do you want to...” She trailed off, licking her lips. “I want to...” She faltered again. Finally, she sighed, “You can open your present if you want.”

Louis cautiously got up and crossed to sit in the opposite bunk, where he retrieved the package. It was long, and he began to peel the cloth wrapping back around the middle.

“Oh, be careful. It's sharp. Here, let me help.” And she followed him to the other bunk, sitting next to him, just as close as before, and plucked the package out of his hands. She unwrapped one side by its end, and presented the hilt to him. A sword, his memory supplied to him, but it was so strange in that moment that he couldn't understand what it meant. He dumbly grasped the handle, wrapped tightly in leather cord, and pulled it free. It was a little under three feet long, pommel to tip, making a little smaller than Louis thought of swords as being. It had a driving tip that he could tell was engineered to split walker skulls. As it glinted softly in the candlelight, Louis realized he didn't even know the sign for sword.

“Well?” Abby asked. Louis stood up and felt the weight of the weapon, making a show of inspecting it to give himself a moment to process the gift.

“I don't know what to say.” he said finally, “I never would have thought I'd own a sword.” he said, fingerspelling out 'sword'. “I like it.” He added, belatedly.

“Great, oh, I'm so glad. I was worried you'd be sad to give up Chairles.” She said with a relieved look on her face.

“Wait, give up Chairles? Why would I give up Chairles?”

“Well, obviously you've got an upgrade. Why wouldn't you switch?” Abby looked at him with an open expression, sure he would see her perspective.

“Well, Chairles is, uh.” Louis didn't want to sound irrational, but was loathe to give up his trusted companion, “Chairles has killed a lot of walkers. I don't want to try and fix what isn't broken. I don't even know how to use this.” he held the sword forward for emphasis.

“Come on, pointy end goes in the walker skull, how much is there to know?” Abby stood up, and took the blade from him. “What if we gave it a name? Like Chairles, and you'll get to know it. Maybe you'll grow to like it over time?”

She held it aloft, closed her eyes in concentration and said, “I dub thee, Mr. Slicey. Here.” she offered it again to Louis, who took it. He laughed internally, but looking at the sword again, it did seem more appealing. Mr. Slicey, huh?

He looked back to her just in time to see her face approaching, eyes half-closed, directly toward his face. He stumbled backwards, bouncing his head off the metal railing of the top bunk and sitting heavily. 

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, feeling the back of his head, and wincing at finding the tender spot. Abby was frozen in place, unmoving from the place where she stood.

“I, uh... I thought that-”

“Hey, I'm just surprised.” Louis said, finally registering she had been trying to kiss him. He smiled, “I thought you only wanted to be friends.” It was only when he saw her face fall that he realized his tone hadn't been correctly conveyed through his signing, and before he could say another word, she rushed out the door. 

“Wait!” He called after her, but she obviously couldn't see him, running away from him. He tried to vocalize, to shout aloud as close as he could manage to “wait” using his damaged mouth, but the idea of reminding her of his disability, the horrible sound it would make in her ears, stopped him. As she slipped back into the room she shared with her father, he knew he could not follow her. He turned back to his room in shame, and despair. It would be a long night of recrimination for him.

Clementine arose early, feeling uneasy. She wasn't sure what the source of her anxiety was, but she convinced herself it was because this morning was a milestone. It was the day she would make herself the final cup of coffee. She moved sluggishly around the kitchen, preparing the coffee for steeping. The sun was taking its time moving on from dawn, and she grouchily sparked her camp stove to light. She stared out over the courtyard through the narrow window. 

She wondered what the future held for her and for Violet. Were their lives going to be a sequence of things running out, like the coffee, one after another until they died? It seemed like there were reincarnations all around them, the gardens, Ruby and Aasim's pregnancy, even the Blue Ridge Rangers, but to Clementine, they didn't touch her. Her own life, it seemed at that moment, felt still, stagnant. The water began forming its first bubbling signs of a pre-boil. Clementine turned the stove down and added the last of the ground beans to the vessel, brushing the edges to get all of them in, then stirring gently so they wouldn't float on the surface tension. 

Maybe she was just encountering her shock at her lifestyle changing so dramatically. She had been on the move for almost as long as she could remember, and as she settled in at Castle Violet more and more, the walls somehow became smaller. She remembered sleeping in gas stations on the side of the road with AJ, unsure what dangers lay ahead of them, wishing for someplace safe to stay. Now, she felt nostalgic for those times.

She attached the filter and poured out the steeped coffee into her mug. She pressed the beans firmly, squeezing every last drop of moisture from them. It was making the coffee soupy with dregs, but she didn't care. She wasn't going to regret not drinking a single drop of the last cup of coffee she'd ever see.

Pete entered the kitchen, nodded to her, and went for the water store. 

“Good morning.” they exchanged greetings. Pete began cutting a wild radish into sections. He offered her a piece, but she shook her head.

“This is the last cup of coffee I'm ever going to get. I don't want anything throwing off my taste buds right now.” She said in mock seriousness.

“I'm sure you'll trade for some more eventually. You're young, you shouldn't have much you're doing for the last time yet.” Pete either mistook her tone, or was playing along.

“I'd like to hope so. I already asked at Richmond, they're out. Ours only lasted as long as this because no one else here drinks coffee. I think everywhere else in the world has people drinking their way through all the coffee left behind. By now, I'm sure it's basically all gone.” Clementine said, sipping intermittently, not wanting to let it get cold while talking.

“Well, as long as there are people, they'll be drinking coffee. As a species, we've probably drank it as long as we've been around. Maybe a hundred thousand years. It predated society, it'll definitely survive a collapse in that society.”

“Yeah, okay, but it doesn't grow around here. I don't know that much about plants, but I know it's something grown in really warm places. Places like, I dunno, maybe Mexico?” Clementine shrugged.

“Uh huh.” Pete said, “And Mexico is right over there.” he gestured with his thumb. He looked in the direction he had gestured, as if wondering if he was actually pointing southwest. “You could just go there if you want coffee. See, the only difference now is that you don't have people forced to grow coffee in near slave conditions for our convenience and their profit.”

“Who are 'they'?” Clementine asked, looking at Pete like he was crazy.

“The Fascists.” He said, not missing a beat, his eyes steady.

“Seems like there are Fascists everywhere.” Clementine said, beginning to gulp her coffee, tasting more dregs, and knowing it was almost gone.

“Well, that's hardly my fault.”

“I think you're forgetting one thing.” She patted her left knee as an indication, “Mexico is a little outside my reach these days.” 

“Maybe.” He agreed tentatively, “But you never know.”

Clementine didn't know what to say to that. She swirled the final gulp of coffee at the bottom of her mug. It was cold now, and grimy, but she wanted to make it last as long as she possibly could. Finally, she turned the cup up and downed the last of it.

“Well, I hope you're right. But I'm not going to expect it any time soon.”

Pete nodded, and left with his filled canteen. There wasn't much more to say, Clementine supposed. Still, the idea of going south, finding Coffee farmers, and living with them for a time captured Clementine's imagination for a moment, and brought brief relief to the cold settling on her skin. Something was coming. She washed her mug and replaced it before gathering her crutches and making her way to the courtyard.

According to the sundial, it was 8:30 in the morning, and her shift at watch wasn't to start for another half hour, but she wanted to check with Omar, who had been watching since the early morning. She climbed the tower smoothly, practiced now at alternating knee, foot, and hand placement to make up for her missing foot. She gained the top and knelt next to Omar, who gave her a nod, and sat down next to her. The watch rifle was stowed in its wooden case.

“Hey Omar, anything exciting happen this morning?”

“You know there hasn't.” Omar replied. He looked at her seriously, “What's the matter?” seeming to read her dark expression. Clementine looked away, unable to answer him.

The two sat for a minute or two, silently looking out into the forest together. Eventually Clementine told Omar he could leave,

“I'm here now, you can take off, if you want.”

Omar nodded thoughtfully to himself, “Only when you tell me what's bothering you.”

“You wouldn't believe me, even if I told you.” she said.

“You're our leader. Of course I'd believe you. If I didn't trust you, what use would I have following your orders?”

Clementine considered this for a moment.

“You could be the one who voted against me. You might not trust me then.”

“Even if I were, and I'm not saying I am, it'd still be my duty to trust your decisions.” Omar said, glancing at her sideways, with a steady look. Clementine shook her head,

“I don't think you're right about that.” She hesitated, “I don't think it's your duty to trust me. That sounds dangerously authoritarian.”

“Maybe in a perfect world, but in the world we're in now, death is always right around the corner. We can't afford to second guess right now.” Omar said,

“Seems to me if the world isn't safe enough to doubt leaders, the leaders have done a shit job of making a world anyway. Maybe now is the perfect time to doubt our leaders.” Clementine said snarkily,

“What we need right now is to survive. I think you're half right.” Omar looked at her with sudden intensity. “We're going to remake society with what we have learned in this fallen time. We will bring forth a better world from the corpse of the old one. But to do that, we need to be alive. You may want to leave leadership itself behind in the old world, and maybe you'd be right to. But for now, just for now, you must protect the group, no matter what the outcome. We're each a limb, but you're the brain.”

Clementine was stunned at his passion, and couldn't help but consider what he had to say. She had been wrestling with her feelings of uselessness at the loss of her leg, and seeing Omar so intent on her as capable, as necessary, made her ego swell. She could see in her mind's eye sitting atop a throne of skulls, looking down her nose at a cowering survivor, waiting for her to pass judgment, spare them, or throw them to the lions. The survivors of Castle Violet, her enforcers, her soldiers, waiting tense with restrained violence awaiting her word and her word alone. It made her feel powerful, whole. And yet... She grew old on her throne. Weaker. She needed others to carry her, and the fear of a knife in the dark, by some survivor eager for her throne and the power it represented stole her sleep away.

“I think you're half right.” Clementine said softly, after a silence, “I need you to protect me too. You need to know, every moment of every day, that my strength comes only from you. You need to always think for yourselves, be aware of my limitations. Always, have awareness of your power over me in return. That's the only way I can protect you.”

“And keeping your concerns secret is a way to grant me that awareness?” Omar responded after a moment. Clementine nodded and frowned, silently conceding. She shook her head, dismissing her thoughts on power and leadership. She thought about her premonition, staring unseeing as she tried to articulate her thoughts.

“I get this feeling. I've described it before as cold settling on my skin, when things are about to get really bad. I've got that feeling right now, but I have no idea what to do about it.”

“Well, let's talk it through. Maybe you'll figure out what you think is coming. Figure out how to deal with it.”

“You're not worried I'm jumping at shadows?” Clementine asked. A deer with a tiny foal moved in the distance, just within sight. Clementine blinked and began to be able to see it. “I'm not even sure I'm not jumping at shadows.”

“I'm not sure you've ever been wrong.” Omar said simply, “Let's hear it. What are you worried about generally?” 

Clementine blew a breath out between pursed lips. “That's the problem, I don't know. I just woke up anxious, and now I've got this feeling. Like something's coming.”

“Should I get Willy? Lock down our people inside the walls? Wait it out?” Omar suggested lightly.

“No.” Clementine said, “Food stores are too low for that right now.” She considered, “But we can make ourselves ready, in case we have to. We need everyone out today foraging, checking traps, fishing.” Clementine felt her voice changing as she gave orders.

“Let everyone know, today we're securing our food and water. Our goal is three days' food, seven days water. I'll set the fire and boil the water if you bring it to me. AJ can take Rosie and a few bullets to the duck blinds. Violet can-” Clementine stopped herself, coloring at the realization Violet wasn't here for her to depend on. Omar didn't react to Clementine's sudden stumbling.

“Get everyone together, Omar. I'm gonna have to give out some assignments today.”

Clementine handed out assignments, overriding a few objections, and now watched their cookpot bubble slowly. The process of boiling and sanitizing their water was slow, boring, and difficult work moving the heavy pot over the fire, but it was the best place for her with her limited mobility.

Willy hadn't been happy at handing out bullets to hunt birds. They were too precious, he thought, to waste on a relatively small amount of meat. He wasn't convinced by her urgency, and she had to insist. Pete had tried to suggest he could inspect the razor wire atop their walls, but Clementine had placed him on foraging duty, since he knew some of the edible mushrooms of the forests. He had a look in his eye when she gave him an assignment that let Clementine see into his mind, and she could feel him just barely holding back what he really thought, and when he looked to the gate, she felt him turning over the idea of just leaving right then. Clementine crossed her arms looking at the steam. So be it, if he left, he left.

Abby returned with a bucket full of fish, dropping them at Clementine's feet, and stalking over to the opposite picnic table from Clementine and sat down heavily.

“Where's Louis?” Clementine asked carefully, “I thought I- I thought he was fishing with you.” She wasn't sure if Abby was in a mood over the orders she had given out this morning. She had thought sending Abby and Louis together would be a way to avoid potential objections by the two. 

“I don't know.” She said snottily, “I went fishing, but not with him. I went upstream a ways.”

Clementine gave a start. She considered admonishing Abby for going out on her own, and in a flurry of exchanged looks, she could tell Abby expected the lecture. Instead Clementine stifled it in her throat, and nodded. Instead of a lecture she softened her tone and moved on, ignoring Abby's unsafe behavior.

“Louis can be a lot. Listen, I didn't mean to send you together if that's going to be a problem. You can always tell me when there's an issue. I could have sent you with Pete, or your father, instead.”

Abby relaxed, relieved that she didn't have to defend herself. Clementine got the sense that Abby would remember that.

“Thanks. That would probably be better.”

Clementine thought about leaving it alone, but she was too curious.

“Did something happen between you two?” She asked, Abby rolled her eyes.

“I just made a complete ass of myself. He looked at me like I was crazy. I should have known better than to just come at him like that.” Abby looked pained, like she was about to crawl into a fetal position under the table at any moment.

“Hey, I'm sure it wasn't that bad.” Clementine wondered for a moment if it really had been as awkward as Abby's reaction indicated. “I'm sure Louis is feeling the same as you are right now. Do you want me to talk to him for you?” Clementine asked. Abby shook her head violently.

“No, I feel enough like a chump as it is. I don't want to have some go-between like I'm a scared child afraid of getting cooties.”

Clementine couldn't help but feel like that was exactly how she was acting, but couldn't exactly say it, so instead leveraged the boiling water off the fireplace, setting it aside to cool, and replacing it with another pot of unsafe water. Abby didn't leave, and sat fidgeting while watching her work. Taking that as an invitation to continue the conversation, knowing this kind of thing was like a scab. Painful to pick at, but that you couldn't help but return to.

“You know, since I've been with Violet, I've felt cool when I'm with her maybe one time. I think being in a relationship is just a series of embarrassments and acting corny. You shouldn't worry so much about like, impressing him or something.” Clementine said, stumbling slightly.

“What do you mean?” 

“I don't know.” Clementine crossed to sit next to Abby, “I guess what I mean is that if you think you made yourself look ridiculous, you're probably doing everything right. Have you been avoiding Louis entirely since?”

Abby nodded.

“Well, you should talk to him. Work it out frankly. You'll feel better, one way or the other. I guarantee Louis doesn't want to hurt you, and wants to clear the air between you.”

Abby nodded again. Clementine could tell the older girl was now clamming up.

“Hey, would you mind helping me out a bit? Can you take this water into the kitchen and bottle it up for me? It's the hardest step for me, and I don't want to leave the fire unattended.”

Abby nodded and silently departed with the pot of purified water. As she left, Clementine saw Louis pass through the gates, look wistfully at the departing Abby, and cross to Clementine with his own bucket of fish. Clementine almost considered telling Louis about her conversation with Abby, but looked away, reconsidering. She had basically promised Abby she wouldn't talk about it. 

At that moment, AJ returned. Clementine trailed off in the middle of whatever she had been saying to Louis, distracted by AJ's intensely sad expression. In his hand dangled two ducks, and Rosie trotted alongside him, staring up at him and whining.

“What's wrong bud?” Clementine asked when he came within earshot. He stomped up to her and deposited his kills next to her and sat, crossing his arms. It had been quite a while since Clementine had seen him so upset, and she shared a look with Louis, who sat on his far side, offering the boy the comfort of his presence, without getting in his personal space.

“Hey, did something happen? Are you okay?” Clementine asked, kneeling in front of him, trying to attract his attention.

“I'm fine.” He said, sounding very not fine. Clementine let him sit for a moment, before gently prodding him,

“You can tell me anything buddy. What happened?”

He sniffed, and pointed to the ducks. “I got two of them.” He paused, “I only winged one of them, and when Rosie found it, it was surrounded by baby ducks. It must have been a mom duck.” He closed his eyes, and a tear trailed down his cheek.

“Oh my god, AJ, I'm so sorry.” Clementine said, and hugged the boy.

“That's not all.” He said, his voice rough and angry, “I... I knew the babies wouldn't survive without their mother. They would have no one to care for them. So I... So I...”

Realization dawned on the two of them, and they shared a sad look. Clementine brushed his tears away, and held his chin up. He opened up and looked into her tawny eyes.

“You did the right thing, AJ. I'm sorry you were put in that situation.”

He sniffed, the edge taken off his despairing mood. 

“I should have known not to send you out to hunt, this was my fault, not yours. From now on, we'll know to be more careful about when and what we hunt. Thank you, AJ.” He looked at her quizzically, not understanding, but taking some comfort, even if just in the sound of her voice. 

The three of them talked and comforted the young man. Clementine finished boiling through the water, and let the embers burn low, ready for the evening's cookfire without wasting firewood on a full blaze.

“Hey, I can look after AJ for a while, if you want to take a break.” Louis said to Clementine. She watched the young man, still down, but not despondent any longer, and felt suddenly tired. She could imagine taking a break.

“Yeah, I might go lay down for a bit. Thanks Louis.”

She entered the Dorm, passing Sarah sharpening a knife with a well practiced hand, and Chad, skinning a rabbit haphazardly. She smiled at them, and Chad gave a tentative nod back. She had apologized for blowing up at him in the admin building, but the boy still walked on eggshells around her. She didn't deviate from her goal, and went to the room she shared with Violet. She flopped down, thinking about all the preparation they were doing, for a nonspecific threat she imagined was coming. She thought about the idea that nothing would happen, and that all their urgency would lead only to stress, and she would have sent her people out, stripped the land of young plants, and would pay the price later. She fell into a fitful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just basically not editing these at all anymore. I just got behind, and rather than delay releasing, I'm just going to try to stick to the release schedule and let people judge me for misspellings and bad grammar/word choice.


	14. A Night of Red and White

She jerked awake, disoriented. It was twilight. She had slept several hours. She realized she was not alone. The blurry figure coalesced into Willy, standing over her, shaking her gently. She blinked rapidly, “I'm up. What's happening?”

“About twenty minutes ago, Chad said he saw lights moving in the night. No one else heard or saw anything, but we thought we should wake you up.”

“Thanks, I can't believe I slept so long. We need to roll out the barriers, from the science lab. Get everyone armed.” She set the pace for him, quickly heading toward the courtyard, the cobwebs evaporating from her mind as she went.

“We're already on it.” Willy opened his jacket, showing her his pistol, stashed within. “Pete's getting the barricades set. Singing some song about angry men while he does it.” Willy shook his head, quietly upset and confused, and angry at his confusion. Clementine patted him on the shoulder,

“You did good. Is Chad still in the watchtower?” She asked, as they rounded the corner.

“Yeah. He's pretty worked up.”

“Probably doesn't want us to think he cried wolf. I'll talk to him.” They emerged into the courtyard, spiked barriers cutting the space in half. Each of the inhabitants of Castle Violet were busying themselves, some with purpose, and others just to keep their minds off their worry. The attitude of the night was red with anxiety. Omar approached Clementine upon seeing her.

“Are you hungry? I can get you something. We all had dinner.” He looked chagrined, “I was... dissuaded... from waking you.” She waved a hand dismissively.

“Not now. Are you armed?” She asked. Omar shook his head,

“I'm not good with one of those.” He showed her a short combat knife, “I'll get anyone who gets close.” 

Clementine frowned. She wished Violet were here. She wished Ruby were here too. Aasim... eh, she could go either way. She nodded at Omar, dismissing him. She made her way to the watchtower. Willy peeled off, saying something about getting her prosthetic foot, but Clementine didn't really register it. At the top of the ladder, she saw Chad, still in his orange letterman jacket, staring hard into the darkness with singleminded purpose. Clementine shuffled over to kneel next to him. 

“I did see something.” Chad said. Clementine studied his body language, his tone, and nodded.

“I know.” She looked out over the dark forest ahead of them. “Can you describe it?”

Chad looked at her, surprised at her reaction.

“I saw little flashes of light. But not the flashes themselves, just their reflections on the branches. I saw them in strobes.” He pounded his palm against the railing softly, emphasizing the rhythm as he spoke, “Beep – beepbeep – beep --- beepbeep beep – beep. Like that. Or something like that.”

Clementine squinted into the darkness, wishing she could see better. She imagined what Chad described, imagined seeing part of the forest in a way she couldn't explain, and trying to puzzle out what had happened. Abruptly it came to her.

“They're signaling each other. Quick. We've gotta get AJ up here. With a rifle. Go get him. I'm gonna find myself a gun. I think we're going to be attacked any minute now.”

The two hurried to descend. Clementine retrieved her crutches and began making her way towards Sarah and Rich, who she noticed had one of the large rifles between them. She kept her eye out for Willy, realizing she should have put on her foot as soon as she woke.

“I'm telling you, I know how to use it, better than you, I'm sure.” Sarah was saying. Rich looked skeptical. Clementine didn't have time to resolve whatever they were arguing about.

“Hey, where's the-”

And suddenly there was a wave of heat and light and a muted 'fwoosh' as the watchtower ignited with sudden fire. Someone had thrown a firebomb. There came an ululating cry from the direction of the gate, and a motor revving to life in the darkness. The popping noise of gunfire and the plinking echos of ricochets let Clementine know to hit cover, and she dove, leaving her crutches behind, and slid-crawled into safety. The muzzle flashes were from the treeline outside. Too far away, with too little visibility to aim accurately. The sound of the motor got louder and closer, and she heard the crunch of tires on underbrush, and she understood. Clementine drew her knife and huddled against the barricade.

A crash, and a terrific screech announced the rending of the gates completely from their housing. A truck crashed into the courtyard, slowed by the impact only marginally. The crack of bullets sounded from Clementine's right, and she looked up to see Sarah, rifle shouldered, kneeling and looking down the iron sights in concentration. Her first shot hit the truck in the right-front wheel, and it skidded, decelerating faster as the rubber abruptly chewed the sod and dirt. Clementine saw Sarah adjust her aim, then fire three times. Thump, Thump, Thump. The bullets hit the driver through the windshield. Clementine couldn't see how many times, but blood filled the truck's cab. Sarah continued looking down the sights, watching for movement.

From the now open gates, a cylinder flew into the open. Clementine noticed it, and instinctively pulled herself more fully behind the barricade, hiding her head and face from possible shrapnel. It exploded in light and sound. Even hidden, Clementine needed to blink her eyes a few times and shake her head to clear it. Sarah, who had been looking directly at it, looked like she had nearly been knocked unconscious. She dropped the rifle, and slumped over. Through the smoke, Clementine saw a hooded figure. A man holding a gun, pointed at Sarah. Bracing herself, Clementine prepared helplessly to see Sarah's end. The next thing she knew, Rich was flying through the air, tackling the hooded man with his full body weight, and the two went down in a tangle. More figures formed through the smoke, and more shots rang out, from both directions. AJ was behind the brick half-wall near the door to administration, laying down covering fire for the survivors caught in the courtyard. The figures' advance was paused, but they had the opportunity to move through the courtyard to the truck, using it as cover for their advance. 

Clementine turned away from the struggle between Rich and the man, grimacing at abandoning those two, and crawled backwards, toward the relative safety of the rearward barricades, hoping to regroup and not get caught out without a gun or her prosthetic foot. It was then she saw three more figures, descending from ropes over one of the walls. Somehow, they had bypassed the razorwire. She only had time to shout a warning to Pete, who was near them, but distracted by the more obvious attackers.

“PETE!” She yelled, as the first one touched down in the middle of the garden. Pete looked at her, his back now fully to the additional attackers. “Behind you!” She saw the hooded man advance, and she despaired that her warning had come too late, or worse, that by pulling the old man's attention to her, she had prevented him from defending himself. The man behind him raised a weapon. Then, like lightning, Pete weaved, pivoting around entirely and slamming the inside of his cupped hand against the armpit of the threatening person, and shoving him backwards, bowling him over. Pete turned and ran, holding his hat on his head with one hand as he skipped and jumped over obstacles until he was safely behind the administration wall. Clementine crawled toward the supine man. She had to cover almost twenty feet before he stood up, and she put everything she had into that crawl. Hand over hand, pushing with all the strength in her legs, she saw the expression of the man. He didn't understand what he was seeing, why she was crawling towards him, and she could tell his confusion delayed his standing up by a heartbeat. She made the most of the delay, pulling herself closer with everything she was. He had a shotgun.

Finally, he was halfway to rising, and Clementine was on him. She grabbed at his ankle, but he lashed out and kicked her solidly in the skull. She slashed with her knife and felt resistance. He cried out in pain. She rolled over before another kick landed where she had been and rolled up to one knee. The man tried to bring his gun to bear, but she snaked around him, both half-onto their feet, and let her weight drop, pulling him back down on top of her, back-first. She put her knife to his throat. 

“Drop it.” she said. He hesitated for an instant, then tossed the gun a few feet away, where she couldn't reach it easily. The other two readied their guns and advanced.

“You drop it.” one said, brandishing his gun. 

She drove the blade home without hesitation, then in one motion, yanked it free and sent it flying at the closer of the two men. Her throw wasn't good, and her target weaved to the side. The mortally injured man began flailing, trying to hold his blood in with both hands. Clementine threw him to one side with all her strength and rolled sideways, trampling the seedlings brutally as she went towards his gun. The act of dodging must have unbalanced the other gunman, because he missed. She came up with the shotgun, but the second attacker was faster. She knew she was dead when a brown blur rushed past her. Rosie. The second attacker had to move his target to her, and his blast took Rosie in mid-jump. Her whine of pain and terror ripped Clementine worse than a bullet would have, and she brought up her weapon and returned fire. 

Whether it was her positioning, firing from her back, or her emotional state, she only winged Rosie's murderer. The two of them went for cover, behind their first set of barricades. Clementine began scooting backwards on her back, racking another shell, and trying to keep the business end pointed at the barricades where the two attackers were hidden. She couldn't stand, and was incredibly exposed.

“I've got you.” Abby said, appearing above her. She grabbed her by the underarms and dragged her backwards toward the wall. From her position, being dragged, she was able to keep the shotgun steady enough that she was able to fire when the gunmen threatened to break cover, forcing them to cower a second longer, and they made it to safety behind the wall. Relative safety.

Finally afforded a second to think, Clementine took stock of events, blinking tears of sadness and cordite from her eyes. There were between twelve and twenty attackers, most or maybe all armed. The two remaining who she had scuffled with were inside the outer barricade, and could quickly advance up the wall in front of the dormitory if they crossed only a small gap in cover, and then they'd be flanking the group behind the administration wall.

Clementine cursed and did a headcount, AJ, Abby, Louis, Willy, Chad were all here. Sarah was captured or killed, Rich likely the same. She had left them behind. She blanched, but it would be time for tears later. Who else was missing? Omar. She scanned the courtyard for Omar. She saw him behind the dormitory wall. Where he was already flanked.

“OMAR!” She cried, “Get over here now! Retreat to admin!” He saw her, and looked back, to find an opening to cross, when the uninjured attacker who had come over the wall rounded the corner. On him. Unaware of what was happening, he barely moved as two shots thumped out, tearing through him. He slumped forward, against the wall, but scrambled, seemingly on instinct, to the end of the wall, where he rounded it to put brick between him and his attacker. Clementine was surprised to find she had her shotgun pointed at Omar's killer, and had already blown his head off. She knelt again completely behind the wall, and looked to Omar. He was covered in blood. Back and front. She could see it already beginning to pool under him. She locked eyes with him. They both knew, and neither of them could say anything. It was too loud, too far away, and she had to hear his last words in his expression. In the dark and silent eternity of that moment, she could only think of the phrase, “ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.”

“We have to go.” Clementine announced.

“What?” Willy said, “What about Sarah... Omar?”

“They're dead, or captured, and we can't help them. There's too many of them. We have to go.”

“But...” 

“Willy, you're moving or we're leaving you behind. We don't have time to argue.” 

“Where are we going? Into Admin?” AJ asked. Louis shook his head, but he was holding a gun at the ready, helping to cover them, so couldn't articulate.

“No, we don't have any traps set up. We'd just get stuck in there. We're better off going up the bell tower.” Clementine said.

“Wouldn't we get trapped there too?”

“We can get down on the far side of the wall if we really have to.” Clementine felt like this was a lie, but said it anyway, “Now go!”she pointed.

“Wait, but my dad.” Abby said, eyes wide.

“No time! Go!” Clementine badgered, slapping her shoulder. She saw the attacker she had grazed before advancing on Omar. He peered around the wall and raised his handgun weakly, but the man, a man with a black beard and long, intricately braided hair and a barrel of a chest, slapped it easily out of his hand, pulled Omar close, and quickly drove a spike through his eye. Clementine tried to rack another shell and pay the man back in kind, but her shotgun was dry. She found herself yanked from her kneeling position by Louis, who was carrying her suddenly. She held him and tried not to get jostled too badly. 

At the entrance to the bell tower, Louis set Clementine down carefully on her foot, and passed her to Abby.

“Get her up there. I'll hold them here, then run up after.” he signed to her.

“No heroic last stands, okay?” Abby said aloud, begging with her eyes.

“You're not getting rid of me that easily.” He grinned his toothy grin. Something passed between them that Clementine had no time to interpret, and elbowed Abby gently to prod her into motion. Clementine and Abby began limping their way up the series of ramps. The others were already halfway to the top. Louis huddled against the wall, peeking out to cover the approach. 

The climb was hard, limping and leaning against Abby, being half carried and half dragged, but somehow still needing to put all her weight on her one good leg. They were only a flight up by the time Louis was letting bullets announce their defiance. Clementine screamed in frustration. She wasn't going to die here. She wasn't going to let her friends get caught out here because of her. 

“Abby, this isn't working. We're not going fast enough. Set me down. I can crawl up. Just get to safety.”

“You're right. This isn't working.” Abby said, but instead, held Clementine's arm up and hoisted her completely onto her shoulders, looping her hand onto Clementine's knee. Clementine was impressed, but she also saw Abby's knees shaking as she straightened. She started plodding up the ramp with more speed. Clementine was held more or less steady, and could look down and watch Louis returning fire on the ground level. The blasts of his gun were powerful in the confined space, and Clementine could feel them in her arm hair and on her eardrum.

“Louis, we're clear! Run!” she shouted, seeing the final landing approach. But it was then Abby began to shake, and collapse onto her knees, then her face, shaking. Rolling off the other girl, Clementine noticed her eyes rolling and mouth seeming to froth. She had never seen anything like it before and immediately thought that the girl was dying.

“Louis, hurry! Abby needs help!”

Hearing that, Louis finally turned from the doorway and sprinted up the steps. Clementine rolled over and kept her eye on the doorway. When Louis gained their level, he glanced between the two fallen girls, and immediately began dragging Abby to safety. Clementine sighed, realizing she should have expected that, and began to try and crawl her way to the top. The sound of footsteps on the gravel below was all the warning she had before bullets started ripping up towards her. The wood wasn't thick enough to stop bullets, and she felt the hot splinters on her face as newly formed bullet holes spit uncomfortably close around her. In response, large chunks of rock were pitched from above. Thrown blind, it seemed, they didn't find any marks, but the attackers still sought cover long enough for Clementine to crawl the last length to safety.

Finally on top of the roof, Clementine rolled over on her back and breathed hot air out of her lungs. The reports of gunfire ceased, with neither side able to see the other. AJ, Pete, and Chad gathered rocks together, preparing to lob them if they heard more movement. Clementine had to look away. Chad's presence pissed her off. He hadn't saved his sister, and he wanted to chuck him over the edge and tell him to not come back without Sarah, but she knew she had bigger problems.

“We need to find a way off this roof.” She signed to Louis, then called out down the shaft, “Hello you fuckers. You killed my friend, and my dog. I've killed several of you so far. You took me by complete surprise and I didn't have this shotgun when I started.” She racked the empty shotgun loudly enough to be heard. “If you think about it, you should really not push your luck.”

“Don't bother reasoning with these idiots.” Pete said to her in a voice meant for her, but which could easily be heard by their interlopers. “These sad inbred fucks are the lowest life form on earth. They're the Clan.”

Realization slowly dawned on Clementine. She looked to Louis, trying to revive Abby, who was intermittently squealing and rocking. He spared her a look, but he clearly had bigger things on his mind than the identity of their attackers. She had a whisper of a memory from the times before. A flash of her father explaining that sometimes, people would hate her for no other reason than what she looked like, that if she made no reason to hate her, they would make up reasons in their own heads, that if she ever heard or saw certain specific symbols, outfits, attitudes, she was to get away as fast as possible.

“What do you know about these guys?” Clementine asked, quieter, trying to assess how far she could peak over the edge without getting shot. 

“These guys are the original sin of humanity. They're the Ur-Fascists. They're the ones that taught the Fascists how to be Fascists. They enslaved, slaughtered, stole the wealth, land, and labor of others and called it their own, and no matter how many times we kick their asses,” talking loudly enough to be overheard before, he now addressed the final thought towards the gap, practically yelling, “They keep coming back, asking to get their ass kicked again.”

The dark hole responded, “I take it you're the leader.” A deep voice called upwards. “The rest of you can surrender, but your life is forfiet.”

“I'm the leader here.” Clementine said. “What do you want?”

“The cripple is calling the shots?” the voice asked incredulously, “You degenerates were bound to be conquered with such a weak leader. We're doing you a favor.”

“FDR kicked the Nazis' asses from a wheelchair.” Pete called out, hoisting a rock and approaching dangerously close to the edge, almost exposing himself to hostile gunfire. Clementine held him back, and gave him a steely eyed look to calm down, to shut up, to leave this to her.

“We can provide you with security.” The voice continued as if it hadn't been interrupted. “You will work. You will contribute to our group, or you will be disposed of.”

Somehow, all the ideas Clementine had percolating the last several months of leadership, of democracy, of groups and how they interact coalesced in this moment listening to this unnamed man lay out so clearly what he wanted. Clementine now knew the purpose of human sociability itself was to reject this idea.

“Don't bother with her, Harry. She's too dangerous to let live. We should burn down the ramps and let them starve up there.” A woman's voice joined the first. Clementine recognized her voice, and the sudden and violent attack suddenly made sense. 

“Lilly.” was all she said.

“And get their walker corpses raining down on us when we least expect it? No. We're getting more slaves out of this.”

“You don't know these people like I do, they're a threat as long as the girl is alive.” Lilly must have taken her final threat seriously, because now she sounded desperate.

“Shut the fuck up, woman. I've got this taken care of. Speak up again and you'll be tasting boot.” the first voice, Harry, said. Lilly fell quiet.

“This is who they are, Lilly.” Pete said, picking up on the relationship between Lilly, Clementine, and the Clan quickly, nodding his understanding to Clementine as he spoke, “They open their arms to accept you while you have something to offer, when your strength can add to theirs, and then when their enemies are conquered, they will unperson those who joined them in reverse order. They can't exist without an Other.”

There was no response, and Lilly and Harry's reactions were left to the imaginations of Castle Violet's survivors. Louis prodded Clementine to get her attention. He pointed to the tarp covering the bell tower shaft.

“I need that. Get them talking. Keep them distracted.”

Clementine didn't ask for any clarification, deciding to trust Louis. She knelt closer to the edge.

“Hey, can we discuss this face to face? No shooting? Obviously you want to negotiate.” She showed her face, ready to flinch back. After a moment, a man stepped into view. He had light brown hair with specks of grey in his beard and combat fatigues over his dirty white hooded sweatshirt, hood pulled down. His voice announced he was the one Lilly called Harry.

“You know what I want, and you have nothing to offer for leniency. Come down now and we'll make it quick.” The man who killed Omar strode into view, looking daringly up at Clementine peeking over the edge. He held a carbine at the ready, eyes empty.

“I need guarantees for my people. Passage out of your territory. Our surrender is something we still have to offer. We've killed at least three of you so far, and right now we have the high ground. If you want to starve us out, you'd better not be outside or near a window for the next three or four days.” She saw Louis untying the tarp carefully. “Can you afford to lose even one more guy? You need us to surrender.”  
“I think you overestimate your resolve. A day in the sun up there with no water and your group will be climbing over themselves to throw you off the roof and surrender, no matter what your orders are. Your kind always lacks necessary discipline.”

Louis had gotten the first tie undone. There were three left.

“We still have bullets. Those are valuable. Every one we use up defending ourselves is one you don't get to use against the next peaceful settlement you raid. Hell, even if you try to starve us out, we can fire them into the air to keep them from you.”

“Five slaves are worth more than a handful of bullets. Listen, are you resisting the inevitable because you're scared to die? Well, let me tell you why it's important.” 

Clementine looked to Louis, who was starting work on the third tie. She looked back at the man with his cruel grin, and couldn't help but be bored of him. He was Carver, but she wasn't eleven years old anymore. He was about to tell her some nonsense about hierarchies and natural law, and wolves, and Clementine realized she had heard all of it before, out of so many mouths, from so many sides. And they were all vacuous windbags, with empty heads with ideas that served no one. And she had grown beyond them. So when she said,

“Why? Why do you want to kill me?”

It was without the least hint of fear, or even interest. She cared only that him speaking would distract him from Louis.

“It's for the good of your people. There is no 'your group' and 'our group' anymore. You just belong to us now. There will be no insurrection, no leading your people through a difficult time to a rosy future beyond. It's just this now, submitting to the will of your superiors and surviving one more day. The lack of a conflict between the races of man are required for humanity to survive, now that the weakness of the old order has been exposed. It is through every one being in their proper place that we can flourish again. And I will die before I allow humanity to pass from this world without a fight.”

Clementine had stopped paying attention. She had gone to the fourth tie, and finished freeing the tarp. Louis dragged it free, allowing more light into the shaft.

“What the fuck are you doing up there?” Guns were readied and pointed up at them, but they were already out of sight over the edge.

“Nothing, just using this tarp to prepare a tent, in case we're up here a while. You don't mind if we deliberate first, before I hand myself over? Thanks.” Clementine said. “Pete, keep an eye on them. Don't let them shoot you.” In a lower voice. She saw Abby sitting up, looking green, but conscious. Clementine was thankful for small miracles and proceeded.

“What's the plan Louis?” she signed, “Please tell me you're on to something.”

Louis dragged the tarp flat and said, “Okay, see here, we can use this to get down onto the adjacent roof. That's outside the wall, and from there we can jump down and make it to the treeline.”

“What, we're running away?” AJ asked, looking with wide eyes at Clementine,

“I'm sorry my guy.” She said. “I know this is our home now, and we said we weren't moving again, but right now we have no choice.”

“We could go down there, shoot them all. Take our home back.” he said, cracking his knuckles at the end and putting on a mean look on his face.

“Not right now we can't.” Clementine's face was sympathetic, but her signing was firm, “We'd only get killed if we tried. Buddy, I'm sorry, but there's only two kinds of fight: ambush, and surviving an ambush. Right now we're surviving an ambush.” AJ kicked rubble, but schooled his defiance. Clementine looked back to Louis, who had been waiting for their attention before continuing.

“Right, So we use the tarp to slow our descent onto the roof. Someone climbs down, kicks off the wall to swing over to the roof, we slide down the tarp.”

“There's nothing to tie it to though.” Clementine said, looking around. Louis just got more excited, and slapped the edge with his palm.

“Someone up here holds the ends. Then, when we're all down, we use the tarp to catch them when they jump down themselves.” Louis smiled.

“Wait, we can't hold up this side with more than one person at a time, and they'd figure out what we're doing if we climb down one at a time.”

“No.” Louis shook his head, mimed unfolding the tarp, “We slide down it, like a slide. One at a time, but fast. 2 seconds each.”

Clementine looked skeptical. “I dunno. Looks pretty dangerous. A lot of ways this can go wrong.”

“Okay gang, democracy time. Do you vote for the awesome tarp slide, or do you vote to hand Clem over to the Clan and sell our blood ounce by ounce until we die? Hands up for the tarp.”

All hands went up who could understand the signing. Clementine sighed and also raised her hand tentatively. Willy looked annoyed at being left out, but looked too scared and tired to ask for translations. Pete was still watching for movement from the bell tower shaft.

“There, it's settled.” Louis got up and started preparing the tarp, signing with Abby, while Clementine explained to Pete and Willy what the plan was. Suddenly, a voice called from the bell tower.

“It's too quiet up there. You're not deliberating, you're wasting my time. You have twenty seconds to give yourselves up or we'll just take you ourselves.”

“We're talking. We're talking in ASL. Sign language. We can't all talk aloud.” Clementine said, trying to buy a few more seconds for them to make their escape. “Lilly, tell him what you did to Louis.” She continued, then turned back to help with the escape. She didn't think she was going to be able to talk them into any further delay than that.

Abby was meant to go first, with all of them holding the tarp and letting it slide a little bit at a time, letting her descend slowly. At the bottom, she kicked out, wobbled at the edge of the roof, but gained her footing. She pivoted and spread the tarp out. Louis laid fully down on his chest, arms extended and tied into the loops with the ties that had secured it to the bell tower before. Between the two was a rough semicircle of plastic, a path to the outside. Louis turned his head to Clementine, and nodded toward the path as if to say, “You first.” 

Clementine shook her head, but Pete and Chad grabbed her by the arms and heaved her into the tarp. It was a swift and disorienting journey as she repeatedly thought she was about to tumble over and fall out and to her death. She yelped in surprised fear, and landed hard between Abby's legs, stunned.

“Quick, get out of the way.” She said, Clementine mutely tried to shift herself, but couldn't figure out how to move. Abby rolled her eyes at her and simply stepped to the side. Clementine had gathered her wits by the time AJ, who had come next, landed. Willy, then Chad followed. They heard the pops of gunshots, and knew they only had a few instants remaining. Pete landed hard, and Clementine could see Louis was clawing desperately at the ties. A slow pit formed in Clementine's stomach. Even if he was ready to jump right now, it would be too late to catch him. They had to go now, or be caught with him.

“LOUIS! Just jump!” Abby cried, her voice high and desperate. Louis looked down at them, and back at the bell tower. Clementine didn't want to watch, but couldn't tear her eyes away. Louis jumped. Pinwheeling his limbs through empty air. He landed with a crunch, trying to turn his motion into a roll, but it was too much, on the uneven roof, and he called out in agony. Clementine saw silhouettes of the figures atop the roof, where Louis had just been. She imagined it was Lilly, looking down, and if she wondered if in that moment she felt all the same things Clementine did when she saw Lilly floating away on her raft. She hoped Lilly would wake up in the middle of the night worried about her out here, free.


	15. The Unexpected

They had rushed through the woods. Chad carried Clementine, Pete carried Louis, whose ankle was sprained or broken. It was dark, and the going was slower than any of them liked. They were forced to rest only about a mile from the Castle walls. AJ doubled back to watch for pursuit. Abby stood at the edge of camp. Louis sat rolling his ankle experimentally and wincing. Clementine sat splayed out on the ground where Pete had set her, squeezing dirt between her fingers feeling helpless. They had left her crutches and her foot and Chopsie behind. She was outside the walls, nowhere to go, and with no way to get there. She looked around at the other survivors, tired, scared, injured, insufficiently armed.

She needed a plan. She needed to find safety. They needed to run away. She thought about the Clan, about their method, their nature, and realized she would never be safe while they existed. She looked grimly down the path they had come to get where they were. She had to kill them, drive them back. More than safety, she needed soldiers.

“Everyone gather 'round. We need to talk about what we're doing next.” Clementine announced. She awkwardly shifted in place, trying to appear higher than she was, sitting in the dirt. Everyone complied, Louis taking little limping steps.

“When AJ gets back, we need to keep moving. I see basically two paths for us. One is we run to Richmond. They know us there. They have resources to protect us, and we'd be far enough away they'd be stupid to follow.” She sighed, “I think that's a bad idea though. I think we need to go south instead.” She looked to Pete, “Can you take us to the nearest Blue Ridge Ranger settlement? I think Ted said it was called Springwater.”

Pete nodded, but when he opened his mouth, he was spoken over by Willy, “Are you fucking kidding me? What are they going to do for us? We know Richmond, they can always use more workers for their fields and forges. They know we can be productive. They'll let us in.”

“I know buddy. That's why I want you and Chad to go there.” Clementine said, “They deserve to know the Clan is advancing, and the two of you should be safer there. We're going to fight for our home back.”

Willy looked shamed, but just silently screwed up his face in sorrow and anger. Clementine turned to the rest of the group. “Any objections?” She saw a lot of shaking heads, then,

“I want to fight. They have my sister.” Chad said, quietly, almost to himself. “I want to go to Springwater, with you.”

Clementine looked at him. Once again, he was surprising her. Looking at him, she wondered at the seed of dislike planted deep within her, that she could not see the boy in any way positive, and why that was. It wasn't because he had tried to kill her. She remembered liking Nick, and Rebecca, and they had both tried to kill her. Just something about him made her distrust him.

“I'm not going to stop you, but Willy needs backup. Richmond is four days travel away, she looked over the remaining survivors.”

Abby looked at Louis, then raised her hand, “I could go with Willy. I know the way.”

“Wait” Louis struggled to interject, wincing as he limped into the center of the group, “We need you to help carry Clementine. Chad's not strong enough, I'm injured, and Pete can't take her the whole way.” Abby put one hand on her hip and shifted her weight onto the opposite, challenging him to say more. Clementine guessed something deeper was going on between the two, and had no time for it. She looked between Abby and Chad. One obviously mad at the idea of going, the other obviously volunteering for ulterior reasons. She looked back and forth between them, realizing there was no obvious choice, each of them with their own reasons to go and not go, their own strengths and weaknesses. Finally Clementine threw up her hands.

“Fuck this, there's no reason I need to make this decision. Each of you can do what you want.”

Everyone looked at her startled.

“Uh...” Willy said tentatively, Clementine sighed and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Sorry, I didn't need to explode like that. Abby, you don't really want to go, you want to be with Louis, and he wants to be with you. Chad, you don't have to always do everything I say.”

“I don't-” Abby started, color gathering on her cheeks, but Clementine just continued speaking.

“Willy, you can make it to Richmond alone. I believe in you. If you make it, I'd appreciate it if you told them about the Clan, and to convince them to help retake Castle Violet. You're also welcome to come along with us to Springdale.” She pivoted in place, scooting to face Chad.

“I would sleep more soundly if you went with Willy, and he had someone to watch his back. I will rescue Sarah if she's still alive. I promise. Whatever it takes. But if you want to kill them back, I'm not going to stand between you and them.” She turned to Abby, who was about to open her mouth.

“Don't even bother. I'm not going to tell you what to do,” She raised an index finger, “but you and Louis deserve to talk things out. One way or the other.” Abby looked pissed, and stared daggers at Louis, as if he had been the one on the rant. He spread his hands, attempting to mime innocence. Abby crossed her arms and stalked to the edge of their group.

“You're making too much noise.” AJ admonished, entering suddenly from the foliage. “It doesn't seem like they're following, but you're going to call walkers down on us.” 

Clementine smiled at him. “Sorry, AJ. I'll be more careful next time.” She said, just above a whisper. “Should we get going? Pete, can you lead the way?”

The sun rose on five survivors, picking their way through the wilderness in a rough southerly direction. Clementine tried to hold herself tight to Abby, who was carrying her on her back, huffing as she trudged up a slight incline. Clementine rested her cheek on her shoulder, trying to keep her head out of Abby's way.

She had been traded evenly between Pete and Abby. Louis had tried carrying her, but had admitted his ankle couldn't take it. She had tried limping along with AJ, but they had gone so slowly, they were better off resting. Chad had gone along with Willy of his own volition. Part of Clementine wished he was here after all, which felt strange to her. He was maybe reliable after all, she resolved to get over her hangups about him and really make him feel welcome if they got out of this. She thought about Omar.

It was vaguely humiliating to be carried like this. She felt like a burden, helpless, and certain they were about to leave her behind at any moment. She considered that maybe they should. The group was bigger than her. It had existed before her, and she could ask for nothing more than it persisting after she was gone. She thought about Violet. That was easier than thinking about Omar.

A painful jostle caused Abby to stumble. Clementine slipped down onto her leg and held on to Abby, keeping them both upright, but just barely. Abby slumped in her arms. She was exhausted. Clementine felt her stomach moan painfully. They were all at their limits. She was about to call for a rest when Pete appeared next to her.

“This isn't working. We need to change it up.”

“Thanks Pete, but you're also tired. We need rest. Everyone get some sleep, I'll keep watch.”

“That's not what I meant, but it's probably a good idea.” He ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth, in an odd gesture that somehow suggested he was thinking.

“I'll gather firewood. We need to eat something, or we're not going to have the strength to continue. AJ should hunt. Give him all the ammunition he needs. We're not dying to walkers or Clan as fast as we're dying all on our own.”

Clementine merely nodded, weakly. They departed on various tasks, leaving her sitting on a rock. She gathered twigs and leaves that were close to hand and started trying to light the fire. She felt weak, but the fire sputtered to life, thin wisp by thin wisp.

Pete returned with some firewood, but also two 4 foot long branches, mostly straight, and several inches thick. He proudly set them parallel on the ground and looked to Clementine.

“This is what I meant by switching it up.”

Clementine stared blankly at them for a moment, and then it slowly dawned on her what he was suggesting. A litter. Working together, they rigged supports by tying their spare clothing to it, their jackets, Pete's shirt. By the time they were finished, AJ returned with a small wild turkey. Without a pail or cookpot, they were forced to skewer it and roast it over the open flame, rather than boil it into a stew. Clementine watched the precious fat drip into the fire. She felt thirsty, but wanted every drop of water to be saved for the people carrying her. Eating was a quiet affair, as each of them processed internally the events of the last twelve hours. No one felt like talking, not even Louis. 

After eating, each of them tucked themselves away in the softest piece of ground they could find and tried to fall asleep. All of them but Clementine, who resolved to watch over them. She looked down at her revolver. Amy's revolver. Chad had been the one who had retrieved it from their weapon store, and carried it with him as they made their escape from Castle Violet. He had handed it to her when he decided to go with Willy to Richmond. By all rights, it was his. It belonged to his aunt, and it was only in their group's possessions and not captured by the Clan because of him. Yet she needed a weapon, and he had passed it to her without thinking.

She wondered what had come of Sarah and Rich. The Clan had mentioned slaves, so she hoped that meant they were alive. She also remembered Carver, and his murderous rage when she and the other Sarah hadn't been productive enough for his liking. She hoped the new Sarah survived the new tyranny. 

A single walker approached. She watched it warily. It would make a good warning system against pursuit if they avoided its attention. She prepared a rock, and tossed it the way they had come. The walker lurched in that direction, seemingly paused as if understanding it wasn't walking towards real prey, and began its slow journey in that direction. 

She reflected that had been her attitude before finding Castle Violet and its survivors. She used to point herself in a direction, and without believing anything would come of it, set off. Now, perhaps because of Tenn, and his belief that there would be a world after the last walker died, she thought about where she was going. Perhaps because of her disability, she didn't set off until she thought she could get there. She watched the walker go, and about Tenn's belief in the walker's afterlife. Maybe it was impossible for a walker to come back to life, but she now knew other kinds of resurrections were possible.

Clementine allowed a few hours of rest, and then roused her companions. Rigging up the litter to be carried between Abby and Pete allowed them to share the burden and to move faster. Clementine had to merely stay still and allow herself to be transported. She tried to keep an eye on their surroundings, but couldn't focus past her hunger, thirst, and exhaustion, and allowed herself to close her eyes. She thought that this was what leadership really was, and embedded the thought into herself, that leadership meant no less than being carried by the people you were leading. As leader, she didn't bear them up with her presence, they bore her up with their effort. She promised herself she would never forget that.

She awoke intermittently during their journey, enough to feel the passage of time and distance, but not enough to shake the surreal feeling of being borne along in the way she was. She felt feverish, nauseous, and tried to conceal it from the others, not wanting to worry them. Part of her mocked herself, assuming she was being selfish, not wanting to be left behind under the assumption she wouldn't survive the sickness. A day passed in this nightmarish way. Pete found a stream, and they drank, boiling it a half liter at a time, in Pete's metal canteen. Clementine felt her feelings of sickness alleviate a little. They made camp by the stream. Clementine wondered how far Springdale was left to go, and if they would make it at all. AJ found no game when he hunted this time.

Clementine kept watch through the whole night. She dozed a number of times, and she kicked herself each time, but after a whole day of being carried, she wanted her people to get as much rest as possible. Between her nausea and hunger, exhaustion and discomfort, that night was the longest she had ever experienced. 

She failed to find sleep in the litter the following day, and she couldn't tell which was worse, the sleep, or the failure to sleep. Clementine didn't want to ask how far they still had to go, assuming the topic had arisen while she had been sleeping the previous day. She endured, because there was nothing else for her to do, or to think about. 

They arrived just before full night, in a tiny, swampy meadow, with a few buildings on a patch of nearby high ground. Clementine became aware that this was their destination when a man holding a rifle stepped out into their path, challenging them. Pete set the litter down, and held up his hands.

“We're friendly. I'm... well... last time I was here I think I was Utah, but now I'm going by the name Pete again, I guess. We're Blue Ridge Rangers, fleeing a Clan attack on our home. Is, uh, Kelsey around?”

The man, a tall man, young, with a pale face that somehow hadn't shed its babylike qualities even with facial hair, and who was built like a truck, narrowed his blue eyes.

“There aren't any Rangers further out than us.”

“We're new to the club.” Clementine said from her position seated on the ground. “We're north of here a ways, we call our settlement Castle Violet. I uh, named it after my girlfriend.”

The giant with the baby face looked down at her with amusement in his eyes.

“A disabled black lesbian for a leader? Well, you're definitely not Clan. That's for sure.” He put his gun up in a sling and offered his hand to Pete. “I must not have been around when you were here before. I just rotated in from a Ranger Squad not too long ago. I'll go get Kelsey. In the meantime, stay put. I've got some uh... we call it Paste.” he opened a pouch at his hip and retrieved a brown-beige square wrapped in plastic. “It's food, if you believe it.” he handed it to Clementine and turned to go. Clementine unwrapped the square carefully, trying to avoid tearing the precious plastic. It was some sort of baked bar of oats and berries, still retaining moisture. She broke it as neatly as she could into four pieces and handed them out to the others. They gladly took their tiny morsels and ate them. AJ looked sadly at the bit of food, and at Clementine until she encouraged him to go ahead and eat it.

Abby collapsed against the base of a tree signing, “Good night” and making piteous moans. Pete stretched, but also looked pretty done in. Clementine sat where she had been left, hoping that Springdale would be salvation for them, because if it wasn't, they were completely screwed. Louis made his way to Abby's pantomimed sleeping form and gracelessly sat next to her, wincing at his ankle. Clementine kept watch on the two out of the corner of one eye. She was curious how things worked out between the two, and the waiting was killing her. AJ sat next to her.

“You looked bad yesterday, and most of today.” He said simply, voice deep and worried. “You looked like you did when we were in the barn.” For Clementine, the world spun a little.

“I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I'm feeling a little bit better now. I'm sure that was scary for you.” 

“I wasn't scared.” He revealed his knife. “If you had turned, I was ready.” She put her hand on his shoulder, and smiled.

“I'm glad you were being safe, but it's okay to feel scared, or sad, to think of losing people. It's important to be attached to people, even when it makes you weak.”

He looked surprised, then frustrated.

“I know you probably want to prepare yourself for when I'm gone, and that's good, but I also want you to miss me.” She gestured around to the other survivors with them, “I was a burden on you, and it wasn't clear I was going to survive, and now we're here, and I wouldn't have made it without their help. Without being attached to each other, that wouldn't be the case, and there'd be one more walker out there.”

“I'm glad you made it. I'm glad I didn't have to be ready.” AJ said, “But I'm always going to be ready, so the least amount of people become walkers as can be.”

“Okay kiddo. But one day, hopefully way, way in the future, you'll also turn. I want tons and tons of people to miss you when that happens. Sometimes that means opening up to people you wouldn't expect.”

AJ nodded noncommittally. Clementine let the matter drop, because the giant with the baby face was returning with another big man and the two flanked a woman. She had long, slightly wavy black hair, light brown skin, and piercing blue-green eyes. Her wide smile revealed straight white teeth, and the woman's good cheer was infectious. Clementine found herself brightening just from her presence.

“Welcome, welcome. Jordan tells me you're from another Ranger settlement? Come in, make yourselves at home. We'll take your leader and discuss the attack and what we're going to do about it. Jordan, Slim, could you help miss...?” she said, letting Clementine provide her name,

“Clementine.”

“Great, miss Clementine. Let's take her to the lodge. Everyone else, there's food in the main building, and you're free to rest up.” She talked just a little fast, words honeyed and warm. Clementine immediately liked her, but she saw Pete frown.

“I'll come with you. We're co-leaders.” He said, signing, “Danger” casually. He hadn't learned much signing over the few weeks they had been with them, and Clementine wasn't sure whether he was advising a general caution, and didn't know a better sign, or if they were in genuine danger. She decided to trust him and didn't contradict him. She signed, “Keep your weapons, stay together.” while saying “Yeah, we need each other's counsel.” Saying two different things at the same time was a lot harder than she thought it would be. Kelsey nodded without missing a beat. She made it impossible to tell if she were annoyed by Pete's insistence or not.

“Together then.” She turned to lead them.

The giant with the baby face and the other large man gathered the ends of the litter.

“Hey, what's up. My name's Jordan, that's Slim, nice to meet ya.” Clementine noticed he hadn't returned with his rifle. He must have left it behind wherever he retrieved Kelsey from. She marveled at the level of trust that would take. The Blue Ridge community must be powerful to not show their strength outwardly like that. She looked to Pete, who still had a slight sour look on his face. She wondered what happened between Pete and Kelsey for him to react that way.

“I'm Clementine, nice to meet you.” She smiled, and braced herself to the jostle of being picked up. The two hefted her easily, and together they made their way to a small building on stilts overlooking the swampy pond. They went up a short flight of stairs onto the deck. Negotiating the doorway was too much for the men and the litter, so she dismounted onto a carved wooden deck chair, and Kelsey sat opposite her. Pete loomed over Clementine's shoulder. Jordan raised his chin in a gesture of acknowledgment towards Kelsey and the two men made their way back towards the main building.

“So, first, tell me everything that happened.” Kelsey said, clapping her hands on her knees, and looking on with undivided attention. So Clementine told her, of the night attack, Sarah and Rich's apparent capture, her conversation with their leader, their flight through the woods, sending some of their number to Richmond for aid, and finally, of arriving at Springdale. Neither Kelsey, nor Pete interrupted even once.

“Hmm. Most troubling. But you've arrived safely here now. We're happy to welcome you into our community here. I can't wait to get to know you all.”

“Well, ma'am, I think there will be plenty of time for that later. After we've put out the call to the other Ranger settlements. Raised a fighting force.” Pete said pointedly, but politely.

“We'll definitely let the other communities know that there's been Clan activity in the area, but a fighting force? Against, as you said, more than a dozen armed fighters? Behind tall stone walls? No way. We'd need ten squads of Rangers, half our fighting force at any given time, and we'd still lose people doing it. You survived. Your people are alive. That's a win. They took your shelter.” She opened her arm. “There's shelter here. They took your garden. We have gardens here. What the world lacks is not space, or land, or resources. What it lacks is people to cultivate, to care for each other. We can't exchange lives for land. That's a bad trade. We'd lose both.” 

Clementine was almost convinced. She looked around, there was space here. The buildings were large, sturdy, in good condition. She saw the fields of grains, corn. She smelled the fresh water, and realized the ground wasn't swampy at all, but was being fed by a spring. She felt the camaraderie the people here effortlessly offered them. She felt Pete's presence, his silence. He was waiting. She asked herself what Pete was thinking. It was then she realized what her response had to be.

“No.” She said. Kelsey glanced between Pete and Clementine, and folded her hands in her lap. Her smile faded and she nodded for Clementine to continue, a serious look on her face.

“There is no peace while even one person is in chains. I'd love to rest here, to believe the Clan will die out from its own contradictions, but I know it won't. If we leave it alone, it'll only grow. It'll become stronger as it sucks the blood from our people. I don't think we can both exist in this or any world.” Clementine felt the fervor take her as she spoke. As she finished, Kelsey was still and silent.

“I can see that Pete has gotten to you.” She said with a smile, “I won't stand in your way, but I want you to prepare yourselves for disappointment. We're your neighbors, and we hadn't heard of you. The Blue Ridge communities are bound together with trust and interconnections, and our duty to each other comes from a voluntary loyalty by each individual Ranger. Any groups you reach will need to decide on their own to join your struggle, and without knowing you, and with the odds you face, I would predict only a handful of hopeful idealists will show up. If you're outnumbered, even with reinforcements, I would strongly urge you to forget this crusade.”

Clementine stared hard at the woman, thoughts on her response bouncing around her head. Indecision stalled her tongue, not wanting to have to make a decision to abandon her home, even if part of her agreed that hopeless idealism wouldn't put any bullets into any Clansmen. 

“We'll agree.” Pete said, “If we don't outnumber the Clan, by the time of our scheduled rendezvous with Richmond we sent for, we'll stay here instead.”

Kelsey looked surprised. “If you're the one agreeing, I don't have any concerns about you holding up your end. Let me show you our radio equipment.”

Clementine tried to rise, but her body was weak. Unexpectedly weak, even considering her past few days. Kelsey saw her difficulty and her expression changed.

“Nevermind, I'll send for Jordan. You need rest, and to be looked after. Stay there.”

She departed, rushing down the stairs in the direction Jordan had left.

“Well, that went better than I expected. When you signed 'danger', I was sure she was going to betray us. Seems like she'll let us use the radio equipment after all.” Clementine said.

“I don't know. We haven't used the radio yet.” Pete said, stroking his white beard. “I imagine the next time we talk, Kelsey will remember us promising to wait a few days before the call goes out. Then she'll remember us promising not to attack unless we had ten full squads.” He shook his head. “Kelsey and I don't get along. I should have just left it up to you.”

Clementine looked over the Springdale settlement and shook her head. “Nah, you primed me to remember what really mattered. She's persuasive. If I didn't think of what you'd want me to say, think that you were here to hear me, I might have been taken in by her pitch.” she slumped in her chair, feeling ever bit as tired as she ever had, “I don't want anyone to die either.”

They were silent after that. The call of birdsong echoed through the night air, over the water that gave the group here their name.

Violet stood at attention on the concrete just off the landing pad. She felt the bead of sweat slowly rolling down her spine in the heavy air. Focusing on it helped her avoid shifting in place to try and dislodge it. She was seventy percent sure she was being observed, and even a subtle movement would earn her two laps around the hangar.

The last eight weeks had been unexpectedly hard. She had expected exercises in the woods, marksmanship training, survival skill tests. She hadn't expected the physical arduousness, or the sleep deprivation. Every day she was awoken in the cold dewy morning well ahead of the sunrise to march several miles in gear, over terrain. By sunup, they had entered into strength and cardio training. By midmorning, hand to hand combat. Around noon was her favorite time, when she was taught horseback riding, and cared for the horses. The afternoon, after she could barely move, they would transition into marksmanship training. Any remaining sunlight was used to study radio operation and battle tactics until they lost the light, when she was released to wash and crawl into bed.

She was eating better than she had ever eaten before at least. Large servings of rice and beans, sweet potatoes, corn, ham, in portions large enough she sometimes couldn't finish right away. She noticeably put on muscle over the weeks. Each night after dinner she would clean up after the cooks, who had prepared her meal. It was important to the Rangers to offer help with chores wherever they found themselves, and she was told to treasure the moments of helping people, rather than resent them. They were a reminder of what they should always rather be doing, instead of fighting.

The diet wasn't enough to offset the psychological effects of her training. She was lonely. Only two other recruits shared the training period, and they were both from another settlement, and were much older than she was, and offered only incidental socialization to the blonde girl. Ted and his group was there, but Ted was assisting her hand-to-hand training, and as he explained, needed to keep a distance out of a need to preserve his role as instructor. The rest of his group followed his lead, and Violet found she would give almost anything just to hear one of Bill's strange, meandering stories.

Finally, two figures emerged from the radio room, talking with one another as if finishing a long and fraught conversation. It was Hudson, the leader and founder of the Blue Ridge Rangers. His beard and hair were almost totally white, with a tiny tuft of grey-brown just below his lip. His lightly tanned skin was dotted with countless sunspots. He wore fatigues that had seen so much use, they hung in tatters, peeking out from under his plate carrier. He was accompanied by Ted, who looked just a little smug. Violet, already standing at attention, struggled not to pull herself even more into position at their arrival.

“At ease.” Hudson said, his voice was its usual mix of gruff and weak. Violet relaxed into a slightly less tense stance.

“I mean it, you can relax.” he said. Violet, after a pause where her body didn't seem like it knew what to do, adjusted to her previously normal slouch.

“Yes sir.” She said, but it came tinged with a questioning aftertaste. She wanted to know what the purpose was of calling her out here to meet with the commander.

“We've received a hail on the radio, from a settlement near your Castle.” Hudson continued, “Some of your people have fled there after an attack.”

“What?” Violet said, struggling to process what he was saying.

“It sounds like Clementine is fine.” Ted looked severely at Hudson in a sidelong glance, then sympathetically towards Violet, “But it seems like your home was taken by raiders, and they had to flee to safety.”

“Our home is... gone?” Violet asked, feeling like her stomach was on the ground and her heart was fighting its way upwards.

“We didn't hear anything about the school being damaged,” Hudson said, “but apparently some people were hurt, or captured. Sounds like it was the Clan.”

Violet swayed in place, and Ted made ready to catch her if she fell, but she steadied herself and sat down, right on the pavement where she stood. She looked at the ground through the gaps between her fingers. She couldn't figure out how she felt, but she felt it all at once. Fear, that her friends had been in danger, and could still be. Guilt that she hadn't been there to protect the people she loved. Elatedly intense relief that Clementine was okay. Guilt all over again that she felt so giddy at the fact that Clementine was okay when others were not. She felt Ted kneeling next to her, gently reassuring her with his physical presence, without touching her.

“Are you okay Vi? Do you need anything?” It was a kinder, more friendly tone than he had used since they had arrived. 

“Can I talk to her?” she asked, voice steadier than Violet herself had expected.

“Maybe. It was the Springdale operator who relayed the message, so I'm not sure any of your people are around to talk to.” Hudson said, checking his watch. “It's pretty late by now. But you can try.”

It rattled around Violet's brain as she looked up at the old commander that they must have been aware of the content of the radio message as soon as they had called her to stand in wait, and that maybe she could have been in on the call from the start, and spoken with her people while they were still on the line. She looked at Ted, whose shame darkened face confirmed what she thought. Ted must have at least argued on her behalf though. That much was clear to her.

“I've gotta at least try.” She rocked herself onto her feet, and waited for a dismissal before heading toward the square glow of electric light in the radio room. Passing through the threshold, she nodded to the radio operator, who removed their headset and nodded back. They flicked the receiver on the microphone into the off position.

“Hey, Jex, is there anyone at Springdale from Castle Violet who I could talk to? I need to hear the story myself.”

“Hey, Springdale, do you copy? Are you still recording, over?” they spoke into the microphone, holding the headset up so the reply could be heard by both of them.

“Yes, this is Springdale, go ahead.”

“Hey, recruit Violet from the Castle Violet community is here with me now. Are any of her comrades there? She wants to talk to someone, over.”

Violet cursed silently to herself. She should have asked for Clementine specifically.

“Uh, I don't know, they must have gone to bed by now. I could check if you want, over.”

Violet stepped up herself and toggled the send/receive switch.

“I'd really appreciate it, Jen, thanks, and if you could find Clementine, that'd be the best. Over.”

“Roger.”

There was silence from the other end, Violet smiled evenly at Jex, who looked with some sympathy at Violet.

“Hey, I don't know if Ted mentioned this, but they said Clementine was safe.” Jex said. Violet nodded, 

“He did. Thanks.”

If there was one person who was the closest thing to a new friend she had made at the base, it was Jex. They were her radio operations instructor, so there was still some professional distance, but Jex was chill. Happy to share their experiences in the time before, living in queer community in small town Appalachia, and the joys and struggles that entailed. Violet remembered that black pit that formed above her belly when she thought about her parents finding out who she really was. She was glad to find the Rangers also consisted of people like Jex. She hoped that maybe in the community they were all building together, AJ or Willy or Sarah wouldn't get that same black pit.

The speaker buzzed back to life.

“Echo Base this is Springdale. The only ones I could find were Abby and uh, the kid who can't talk.” A faint voice in the background interrupted, then the Springdale operator came back with a, “Sorry, Louis. Over.”

Violet toggled the switch and said, “Abby, Louis, I'm so glad you're okay. Is Clementine alright? Where is she? Over.”

There was silence. A click, and Jen was back, “Sorry, we didn't receive. Abby uh, took over the toggle. We've cleared that up now, over.”

Violet let out a frustrated sigh. She could just imagine Abby jumping forward to announce some inane shit into someone else's equipment without asking. She took a breath to calm down, not wanting to be too shouty with Louis on the line with her. She knew Louis had a thing for the annoying girl, and didn't want to alienate her best friend over her.

“I was asking where Clementine was, over.” Violet said, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“She's asleep, she's been kinda sick.” Abby said, “Do you have a problem with me?” There was a click, followed by another click, Jen's voice saying, “Over.” in a long suffering tone, then another click. Violet was thrown off,wanting to ask about Clementine's sickness, but put on the spot about her feelings of annoyance towards Abby.

“What? No, I don't have a problem with you, Abby. I just sometimes lose patience with you when you're moving from topic to topic faster than I can keep up. It's not meant to be personal. Over.”

Violet waited a few moments, wondering if Abby was going to respond when Jen's voice came through, “They're talking to each other, just a moment, over.”

“Roger.”

She went on waiting.

“Okay, Louis is on your side, but I still think you're being unfair. Uh... over, I guess.”

“Hang on, unfair? Sorry, Abby, but sometimes people aren't all going to like you. I'm sorry if I've been mean to you, but no one gets along with absolutely everyone.” She paused, trying to think if she had something to add, then just said, “Over.”

“I just don't understand what I'm doing that makes you dislike me. If I understood, I could stop doing those things around you. You said I jump from topic to topic too much? I can try to stop myself when you're around. Over.”

Violet sighed, “Look, it's not any one thing, and I really feel uncomfortable telling you to change your behavior, I just... get annoyed. It's not something I want to do. It's just, when we met, you kinda made me feel a bit belittled, and I guess I've just not really shaken my first impressions. Over.” 

“Have you considered that you're self-conscious about things I don't think, and imagining me as the person thinking them, when it's really you? I think you're like, really cool. I wouldn't try to insult you. Over.”

Violet sighed, feeling exhausted, “I didn't think of it that way. Hey, I didn't realize I was hurting you like this. I'm going to try to be more patient and stop projecting from now on, okay? Now, can you tell me anything else about Clementine? Over.”

There was an audible shuffle and murmurs of background talk over the radio, then Abby was back, “She's fine. I think she's just dehydrated, undernourished, and tired. She barely ate or drank anything the last three days, and she only slept a little on the trail. Her body just kinda gave out to some kind of opportunistic bug. Maybe a stomach flu.” there was a few seconds of pause before, “Over.”

Abby said it like it was nothing, like it should be reassuring, but Violet was only more afraid for Clementine after hearing that.

“Well, tell her when she wakes up that...” She looked to Jex, who was still holding up the earpiece. Violet hesitated, then pressed on. “...That I'm going to be there soon. Over and out.” She hit the toggle for a final time and stood facing Jex.

“I, uh... need you to keep that a secret for a minute. That okay?” Violet asked them, looking down into the gap between them. Jex shrugged, “Your business is your business. I will say, you're lucky to have someone like that in your group.”

“Like what?” Violet asked, not sure what Jex was referring to.

“That Abby. She's a little different, isn't she? It's super useful to have someone who will ask people to explain shit everyone else takes for granted.”

“I'll take your word for it, I just feel like I've been trampled by a bull every time I have to talk to her.”

“Well, let me give you an example. Sheila, as you know, treats me like absolute garbage. In turn, I think she's a fucking bitch, and passive aggressively shit on her in return.”

“Yeah? Sounds like me and Abby so far.”

“You're exaggerating, but Sheila and I, shit, we probably shoulda worked it out months ago. It's probably some shit like I ate the last sweetroll from Jyleston and she had been saving it. Life would be way more pleasant here if someone was here to just force us to explain why we're so fucking mean to each other. It's the same with like, rules and shit. You need someone who can't follow unspoken rules to save their lives to be making sure your rules are all fair.” Jex shrugged, “I don't know if I'm explaining it well, but trust me, keep Abby close.”

“Okay,” Violet waved one hand, in mock surrender, “I'll keep her around if you think it's a good idea. Hey, uh... in case I don't see you for a while, take care of yourself, okay?” Jex smiled sadly.

“Yeah, Vi, I'll be okay. You take care of yourself too.”

And that was all they could say. Violet left for her bunk. She gathered everything she needed. Her hatchet, clothes, canteen, and survival equipment. She couldn't risk retrieving a firearm from the armory, since that would be asking to get caught. She silently passed to the stables without a word to anyone. There, she approached her horse. An Arabian colt with a grey black coat. He was beautiful, the most beautiful living being she had ever seen, after Clementine. She calmed him with a pat, and began to tack him up. He turned his warm eyes towards her blowing out his question in a huff.

“I know Majesty, it's late. We've got to go away for a while. I'm not sure we're going to be welcomed back either, so say goodbye to your horse friends.” She looked over the other horses kept in the stables, not sure if they understood. Majesty tossed his head and bent to her level. She had to resist the urge to bury her face in his soft neck. She finished securing his tack and began leading him outside. She kept a keen eye out for observers, but the camp was quiet. Everyone was asleep or busy with other duties to see her stealing away in the night. She reached the edge of the base, where the path opened into the forest. She continued leading Majesty, planning on helping him from turning a foot on the path while it was dark, and riding when it grew light again.

“About time you showed.” The words made Violet freeze. It was Ted, and with him, his whole squad, Gerry, Sue, Bill, and Sheila. They were waiting just off the path, behind the cover of the treeline.

“You're not stopping me. I have to go support my people.” Violet steeled her expression, and her voice.

“We know.” Sheila said simply, glancing down the path.

“See, Gerry was just saying, would you believe it, that you wouldn't be coming tonight. He says 'oh, no, she's got it in her head she's gotta finish training first or somethin.'” Bill's Gerry impression was maybe the worst impression of any human Violet had ever experienced. Bill's Gerry sounded essentially identical to Bill, but somehow even less like Gerry than that.

“I'm glad to have been proven wrong.” Gerry said with a genial smile.

“And you're so used to it too.” Sue said, leaning on his shoulder with most of her weight until he slipped out from under it, causing her to stumble. Ted chuckled at his team and looked to Violet.

“You didn't think we'd let you go alone, do you?” He asked. 

“Guys...” Violet said, smiling in spite of herself, “You mean I'm really not in trouble?”

“You're going out to kill Clan, I can't imagine something you could get into less trouble with us for doin'” Bill said.

“What about taking Majesty?” 

“Majesty loves you, are you kidding? He'd choose to go with you if he could talk. We'd be pricks to stop him as much as if we tried to stop you.” Sheila said, looking up the path and getting visibly antsy. “Now let's go, before we all die of old age.”

“Ha, Ha.” Bill said to that, as the five of them began down the path, without looking to see if Violet was following. 

“Don't laugh Bill, you're our canary in that coalmine.” Sue lobbed her banter.

“I've always hated that expression. Those poor canaries.” Gerry's complaint was fading as they got further away from Violet, who was still standing where she had stopped.

“You're coming, right?” Sheila threw back at Violet over her shoulder. Violet shook her head and set out after her people.

Clementine knew she was dreaming as soon as she woke up. Plagued by disturbing and disorienting dreams, she felt like she had learned the difference between reality, where Abby or Louis or an unknown Springdale survivor would give her water, or help her to use the outhouse, and the sick weave of dreamlike nonsense. Those forays into reality for her felt more unreal for their firm mundaneness. And she would always fall back asleep right after, into a darkness of dreams of riding through a desert landscape astride Chopsie, or in school as an eight year old with Lilly for a teacher. 

She knew she was dreaming because even though she recognized the bunkhouse at Springdale, Violet was there, sitting in a chair and snoozing. Clementine knew that Violet was in fact far away. She couldn't quite place where she was supposed to be, but her sleep fogged brain was sure it wasn't here. After a moment, she reached out and nudged Violet, figuring if this dream wasn't going to get more interesting on its own, she'd make it.

“Hey, wake up. Entertain me.” She grumbled, poking Violet's knee. She stirred,

“Oh my god, you're awake!” Violet exclaimed. Clementine shook her head, frustrated with her dream,

“No, I'm clearly not awake, because then you wouldn't be here.” She said, as if it were obvious. But the dream wasn't moving on, and Clementine started to doubt it. She flipped over. If it was reality, she could fall asleep.

“I'm really here Clem.” Her voice broke a little, “But if you need to sleep, sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.” The words worked their way into Clementine's brain just as she got comfortable. Her eyes shot open, and she twisted back around to sit up.

“Violet? You're really here?”

“Yeah, babe. I came as soon as I heard.”

“How did you get here so fast? It was just last night that we sent the call.” Clementine rubbed her eyes and examined the light out the window.

“Clem, it's been three days. I got here yesterday. You've been sleeping.”

“God, three days? Holy shit, I have so much to do.” Clementine shifted the covers and slid to the edge of the bed.

“Hey, take it easy Clem. Make sure you're ready, and I can help you. Don't worry about what you need to do, take care of yourself first.”

Clementine felt herself gaining her balance, and the final cobwebs clearing behind her eyes. Her stomach growled earnestly. The two girls looked at each other, a laugh bursting out of them.

“I guess that answers that. I need something to eat.”

“Here, I'll help you to the mess.”

The taller girl supported the shorter as they made their way down the hall and into the high ceiling living area. Clementine could feel the solidity of Violet's body as she all but held up her body weight herself. She blushed as she found herself admiring how it felt to hold the more powerfully built woman. She was aided into a seat at a long table, and Violet went off to try and find some food for her. 

After a moment, the door behind her slid open. Twisting to see who it was, she was shocked to see outside the door the grounds dotted with tents, people milling about, checking weapons and otherwise making ready. Kelsey, who had entered, slid the door closed again.

“Ah, good, you're awake.” She said, her smile not quite making it into her voice.

“Who are all those people out there?” Clementine asked. Kelsey crossed in front of her to stand on the opposite side of the table.

“Have you eaten? You've been unconscious for almost three days now.” She said.

“Violet's getting me something. Thanks. The people?” Clementine nodded towards the door.

“Well,” Kelsey looked unhappy, “They're the ones who responded to your call. Almost fifteen people altogether, but not all of them Rangers.” She shot Clementine a look, “Some of them are just idealists trying to help.”

“That's good news. Fifteen plus my five is twenty. Add whatever forces we get out of Richmond and we well outnumber the Clan, and we can take back Castle Violet.” 

“And some number of them will die doing it.” She sounded tired, defeated. “I imagine you will be safely off the front lines.”

“I don't know what you mean by that.” Clementine replied dryly.

“I mean that the essence of being a leader is to send people you think are less important than you into harm's way to accomplish the goals you have decided are important to the group.”

“I'm sending Violet into harm's way too. Are you trying to tell me I don't really love my girlfriend?” She picked up her left knee, “Or are you saying I should lead the charge by crawling on the ground?”

“Don't try to dissemble. You know that's not what I'm saying. Don't attack when you can defend. Don't thrust when you can parry.”

“Respectfully, Kelsey, I think you're wrong. I know the Clan, I know the school, and the area around it. We can win this, and if we let the Clan be, it'll only inflict more suffering, more death, in the long run.”

“We can be a better example. We can show them that peaceful cooperation is the only way. If you kill 10 of them and drive off the last 5, those 5 could return with allies and kill 10 of you, and drive off the last 5, and we repeat the cycle of vengeance and death forever.”

“Maybe. But that beats being their victims, their slaves, forever. And we can win. It's not a foregone conclusion that we'll be stalemating with them forever.”

Clementine realized that Violet had returned, a bowl of oatmeal in hand, watching the two of them. Kelsey also noticed.

“And what do you think of this situation, Soldier?” Kelsey said.

“I think.” Her eyes looked back and forth between the two women. 

“I think we can't win if we never fight. Some of us may die, but our ideals are to break the chains. If we don't push back against the chain makers, it's only a matter of time before we're bound ourselves. Then there'll be no one left to break our chains.” Kelsey smiled and nodded, and got up to go.

“I think you're wrong, but clearly I can't talk you out of it. None of my people will accompany you. Good luck.” She passed between the two and back out the door, shutting it behind her.

“What's her deal?” Violet asked, setting the bowl in front of Clementine, who dug in immediately.

“She's kinda right honestly, and oh my god, is there milk in this?”

Violet nodded, her lips tipping up in her tiny smile. Clementine's face was glowing with obvious pleasure at the creamy oatmeal.

“Anyway, I kinda see her point. It's gonna be bloody. We're not all going to make it.” She stopped eating and held Violet's hand tightly. “You, or I might not make it.”

Violet softly brushed Clementine's uneven hair to its proper position. “I know.”

“We could just stay here. Kelsey would let us change our minds. Set a border between our little nations, defend, and let them die attacking us if they want to. Come to some peace. Trade something valuable for Rich and Sarah's release.”

“We know that can't work forever. Anything we give them will be used to murder people like us eventually. They could choose to stop, but we can't convince them to stop, we can't make them happy except with our deaths. So while it looks like we're attacking, we're really fighting for our survival.”

Clementine nodded, and returned to eating.

“But you and I might never have to be the ones to fight them. We could live our lives in full. Together. And never face the Clan again. Isn't that worth something? Two people who get to experience a life lived fully?”

Violet held her hand out, and Clementine took it. She looked straight in her eyes, and nodded.

“But we're not going to do that, are we?”

Clementine shook her head, “No. I don't think we will.”

“So we need to make the most of the time we have.”

And they kissed.

Hours later, Clementine sat at council with all the assembled volunteers, sitting in the deck chair, looking down on the crowd assembled in front of the steps. Next to her, Violet held up a map for the group to see as Clementine explained the physical dimensions and surrounding terrain of Castle Violet.

“So as you can see, we can approach unseen from behind, through the forest. We can put gun hands in the trees, so they become targets in the courtyard. We can take the stragglers and force a siege.”

Ted stepped up and tapped the map. “When I was there, I thought the second floor of the administration building would be a good placement of a machinegun nest. If we enter from the front gates, even though it's been breached, we'd get cut to pieces.”

“Which is why I say we force them to hole up with sniper fire, then breach the wall near the greenhouse.” She pointed to the place she knew the wall was weakest. “Our main force pours in from there and occupies rooms throughout the west wing. Once we have sight lines inside the wall, we can advance on admin from behind, ascend the steps to the Dean's office and capture the high point. From there, we can dig in and let them make a mistake, or let them surrender. The dorms will be the only building they can safely occupy, and that's a building with two dozen potential entry points. They'd have nowhere to go, and no way to defend all entry points.”

“Wait, you're talking about blowing a hole in our walls?” Louis asked. Abby translated for the crowd.

“It's the only way I see this going without a long siege. If we draw it out, Sarah and Rich would be killed. If we lead any other kind of assault, we'll lose a lot more people. We may have a less secure home in the long run, but we'll be more likely to return to it if we do.”

“It seems like a lot of things could go really wrong with this plan.” Abby said for herself. Clementine nodded.

“I can't guarantee this will be easy, but I think this is the best plan for taking out the Clan.”

“Couldn't we just snatch Rich and Sarah while they're outside the walls? Then we're free to put them under siege as long as we want.” She said with a shrug. Clementine looked at Ted, who looked back in surprise.

“Could work.” Ted said slowly. Clementine also smiled slowly and wryly. She had been pretty proud of her plan, and Abby had just blown it out of the water. Violet shook her head, seemingly disbelievingly.

“My plan will be a fallback if Sarah and Rich can't be recovered.” Clementine said. “Are there any other suggestions? They don't have to be as good as hers.”

There was another hour of discussion of tactics, but the plan remained essentially intact as described. Clementine looked at the gathered force, and longed for her leg to be restored. It was the only time in her life she felt like she had the upper hand in a fight, and she wouldn't be a part of it. Her eyes met Violet's and she felt some comfort in them. She knew Violet could do it, but looking down at her missing leg, she didn't know what she would do if AJ or Violet didn't come back. She knew she could never get over it. Her hand clenched around the loose fabric at the bottom of her left leg until her hand cramped.

The next day, the group made ready to depart. Clementine limped around on a branch cut to a height for her to use as a makeshift crutch, and tried to make herself useful. Kelsey and Jordan observed them, without helping. They had provided a table with portions of Paste for them to take as provisions. Jordan was offering fist-bumps to anyone who took one, but gently waved away any questions of his intent to join the attack. Clementine approached, and offered her hand to Kelsey, and fist to Jordan.

“Thank you for your hospitality, Kelsey. I might owe you my life.”

“I'm not interested in debts, Clementine. You're welcome back any time. I wish you luck on this endeavor, I really do. I hope we can be friends, if you are successful.”

Clementine wanted to ask for assistance, more fighters, more weapons, more ammunition. Instead she nodded.

“I'd like that. Hopefully I'll be back someday, and we'll enjoy more peaceful times together too.”

Kelsey simply smiled her wide, warm smile back at her. Clementine couldn't help but let her smile perk back up as she turned to continue helping the preparations.

The column of fighters departed. Twenty strong in all. Violet wasn't the only one mounted, two of the Rangers from another settlement had their own horses, and the three of them scouted ahead. Clementine felt bad that the pace was set by her, but there was no way for her to move faster on her own. She looked out at the open wilderness in all directions, remembering having felt enclosed within the Castle walls a few months ago. That now, she felt comfortable and confident outside. It might have something to do with the multitude of battle hardened warriors surrounding and protecting her, but it was unavoidably true that she was outside, just as disabled as ever, in a world just as dangerous as ever, and she could be made to be safe. It made her think she could never accept being enclosed again, the way she had accepted before.

The journey took two days to get to the train station nearby to Castle Violet, where the Richmond reinforcements were meant to join them. The location was selected because of its position on the road, where it couldn't be missed, and also for its walker presence. While the herd that had made it their home had largely moved on, stragglers are always left in places like that. They wedge themselves in a position they can't leave somehow, or simply sit or lay down, seemingly waiting patiently. As such, any Clan would give such a location a wide berth, out of fear of leading them towards their shelter. The Rangers, skilled at clearing such places, made the station safe for them to wait.

Louis watched the Rangers pass the time silently, playing cards, or sharing meals. Some of them rubbed each other's shoulders or calves. They didn't speak with sign language, but they didn't need to speak aloud much either. They didn't have an order to stay silent, but being silent helped protect everyone, and so they all did it actively. Louis turned to Abby.

“It's so quiet.” he said. Abby nodded, not looking directly at him. He sighed softly. They had gotten closer again, after the misunderstanding in his room when she gave him the sword, but he could not seem to force himself to bring up their encounter. Thinking of the sword, he indicated it,

“Mr. Slicey was easier to use than I thought it'd be.” He said, referencing his helping clear the station. “Thanks for giving it to me. I'm way more deadly than I was with Chairles.”

“Sure.” She said ambiguously.

“Tomorrow, I think the Clan will meet him.” Louis went on, trying to coax a reaction out of the girl.

“I gave it to you to protect you, not to push you into danger.” She finally looked directly at him, an intense look in her eyes. “Let's run away. You and me. Let's go to Richmond, or back to Springdale, somewhere safe.”

“But what about Castle Violet? What about the Clan?” Louis said, surprised at this sudden shift.

“Fuck 'em. Let Clementine and Violet kill them. You already saved us all in the bell tower. They all only have this chance to strike back because of you. You've done your part.” 

Louis and Abby were still for a long moment, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Finally Abby continued,

“I've never had so much as I have now. Let us live, and be together. That's enough for me.”

“What about your dad?” 

“I believe Clementine will rescue him.”

“What if someone gets hurt?”

“Let it be someone other than you.”

Into her bright green eyes, he fell. He thought about his fear, and facing survivors more cruel and sadistic than Delta, in great numbers. He thought about the pain Delta had inflicted on him, even though they wanted to recruit him, to press his body into the role of a soldier for their cause, and yet still they felt willing to maim that body. These people would not want him as a soldier, would not seek to indoctrinate him as a recruit, but grind him into dirt as a slave. The fear, the terror welled up in him, he faced it, and calling from behind him, a safe green oasis. Abby's eyes. 

On some level, he knew he was building up the choice as an artificially binary one. Perhaps he could fight, but away from the thick of it. Perhaps Abby would be very happy with her father being recovered safely, and would settle in again at Castle Violet with Louis after the battle, but in this moment, he knew it was a choice between cleaving to Castle Violet, or moving on to live with Abby, and that both wouldn't be the same from this point forward. He nodded, and felt the tears spring forth from his eyes and tumble down his cheeks. He hoped the consequences weren't too dire, but he could never know. He approached Clementine, who was sitting in a wooden chair, facing the wide, bright windows out into the train yard.

“Clem, hey.” He waved to get her attention. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Yeah, Louis, what's wrong?” She asked, concern playing out on her face. Louis realized he must look like shit, crying unrestrainedly. He decided he didn't care.

“I'm so sorry Clementine, but I can't fight with you. I thought I could, but I can't.”

“Louis, what do you mean?” She signed, then, “I mean, I understand what you're saying, but please, talk to me. Is it your trauma?”

“Yes, partly, but no.” He looked at Abby from across the station waiting area. She was sitting cross legged, and also crying. “We're leaving. Together. We're going back to Springdale, or to Richmond. I'm sorry, but I can't help you in this fight.”

Clementine's face broke out into the most melancholy look Louis had ever seen, she wiped her eyes and the back of her hand came away wet. She looked back at Louis and said, “I understand. Go, be safe. Take care of each other.”

“Tell AJ for me? And Violet? Try to make it seem like I'm not a huge coward.” He asked, cracking a smile through his continuing tears.

“Tell them yourself, asshole. You're not slipping away like a thief. We're going to hug and cry until our eyes fall out.” She stood and hopped over to embrace him, whispering now because her hands weren't visible to him, “Then, you can go.”


	16. The Final Conflict

The setting sun saw a small trail of survivors entering the train station, Willy and Chad, with the Richmond volunteers, just two people. Loren and someone she didn't recognize. To Clementine's surprise, Sam was with them as well.

“Hey, Sam. I didn't expect to see you here.” She said. He nodded, looking a little bashful.

“Well, I heard what happened when Willy and Chad came to the Firehouse. I helped them get to Richmond, and then when so few wanted to help, I felt like it was up to me.” He looked serious suddenly, “Mom told me about the Clan. Who they were, who they will be if we let them be. She gave me our gun.” Sam presented the handgun, the result of Clementine and Janice's mutual aid.

“Hey, did you happen to see, uh, Kate, or Javier when you were there?”

“I think Chad talked to them. I don't really know them, so I kinda kept my distance.” He looked a little uncomfortable, “It's been a long, long time since I've been around more people than just my mom and my brother. I didn't know what would.... I felt really overwhelmed.” He said, his eyes making the rounds of the assembled fighters from all over.

“You're with friends here. You don't have anything to worry about.” Clementine tried to reassure him, shifting her weight, trying to get comfortable on her crutch. It needed padding. “You can take your time getting used to us, but we're worth getting to know, most of us.”

Sam nodded, with a shy grin. Clementine saw Chad and excused herself, crossing to talk to him, eager to get word about the Garcias.

“Hey, Chad,” She said. Chad sat up straight at her approach, almost jumping. “Sam tells me you talked to Javier and Kate. How are they doing?”

“Oh, they said they couldn't come help, sorry. I asked, but they said they needed to stay safe for Eva's sake.” He sounded apologetic, but Clementine shook her head.

“I can tell they're not here, and it's an easy guess why. I'm just still worried about them. How's Kate?” 

Chad visibily relaxed.

“She's doing a lot better, I think. Javier is basically co-parenting full time, and she's out doing shit. I mean, like, she's teaching and maintaining equipment and shit.”

He looked sidelong at Clementine, guilt tinging the edges of his expression. “She seems happy.”

Clementine sat down next to Chad on the bench and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“You're really not so bad, you know that?” 

Chad smiled slowly. “Uh, thanks?”

“Just had to give you six or seven tries, then you stopped screwing it all up.”

“I'm a learner.” He joked, Clementine looked at him with an unamused face, his jovial confidence crumbled. Her serious expression cracked, and she laughed suddenly, “Don't screw up tomorrow, peoples' lives depend on you now.” And she walked away.

The next morning, in the predawn glow, Clementine saw her scouts returning. Violet, Ted, and Sue.

“We've got a problem.” Violet said without preamble. “The trees around the walls. The ones close enough and tall enough to fire into the courtyard from? Well, they've cut them all down.”

“All the way around?” Clementine asked incredulously.

“All the way around.” Violet repeated with finality.

“So, no sniper fire into the courtyard.” Clementine blew out a breath in a sigh. “Alright, and what about the front gate? Can we get through?” Violet closed her eyes and shook her head.

“There's about four feet of logs piled up against it. And Ted was right about a machine gun nest in Admin. The courtyard is basically invincible. And worse, we saw something else.” She looked at Sue, leaving off for her.

“It was a metal box, in the courtyard. Almost big enough for a grown man to lie down inside.” Sue said the word 'almost' with great meaning. Her eyes were grave. “It had a door on it, with a latch on the outside. I've seen that kind of thing before. It's a hot box.”

Clementine shook her head, silently showing she didn't understand.

“During the day, the sun hits the dark metal, makes the inside hot, floor, walls, door, the air itself feels like steam. They put people in them for hours, even days at a time. It's a torture device.”

“So you're saying-”

“If one of our people are in there, they won't be outside the walls for at least a few days. Recovering from that kind of torture is no joke.”

Clementine looked towards Castle Violet, off through the forest. She turned this information over in her head.

“Did you see someone in the box?” She asked, her voice flat, purged of nuance or feeling.

“No, but there'd be no way to-”

“Then we have no way of knowing it's in use. We wait to spot our people outside the gate. If there's only one, we take them right away, ask about the other, and start a siege if we have to, mount a rescue if we can.”

Ted nodded and made his way back towards the station, as if that were an official dismissal. Sue looked like she wanted to argue, but looked away and followed Ted. Violet stayed. She watched the backs of her fellow Rangers until they were out of earshot before she spoke up to Clementine.

“If we've got even a small chance to save them, we should go right away. Waiting to take them outside the walls was a late addition to the plan. We could go right now, rescue them before the sun is in the sky. Before the box gets hot again.”

Clementine sat on an old tree stump, covering her face with her hands.

“I know. But also, people are going to die today, and I need to know I've done everything I can to protect as many of us as possible. We don't know if anyone is being tortured right now. It seems hasty to assume they are.”

“We had a good plan for attacking as fast as possible. Even if we snatch one person, and the other isn't currently in the hot box, as soon as we lay the siege, they'll get put in. We'll lose the element of surprise, and we'll also lose the ability to prolong the siege, since we won't let the torture continue.”  
Violet sat down next to her.

“It was the best possible plan, based on what we knew at the time. The hot box changes things. We need to adapt our plan. We have to go right now.”

“Someone will die because of this decision.” Clementine said, “Someone who wouldn't die if we put them under siege.” She looked at Violet with helpless eyes, “What if it's you?”

Violet brushed at Clementine's hair.

“It's getting long again.” She said simply, her face bursting with affection. She continued, “Maybe this is why leaders always become such assholes. Maybe it's impossible to care about people and make the right decisions. Maybe that's why they either become psychos who only serve themselves, like that Carver guy, or fucking idiots like Marlon.”

Clementine let out a burst of laughter, “Gee, thanks Vi. I get to decide if I'm evil or just an idiot. Maybe you had the right idea, stepping down from leadership.”

“I dunno, maybe I did.” Violet kept playing with Clementine's hair. The two were silent for a moment, cupping each other's faces in their palms. Clementine was trying to memorize every line and color of her lover's face, but each detail emerged from the next in a web too complicated to hold all at once.

“Next time, Violet. For sure. One last choice, then no more.”

Clementine closed her eyes,

“We go now, and we hit them with everything we have.”

Violet led the Rangers through the underbrush towards their target. The sun was up now, they had missed their chance to attack under darkness, after mobilizing the group had taken longer than Violet had anticipated, but it was better to violently execute an imperfect plan than wait. She looked over her team, once, only days ago, her instructors. Ted and his team, plus Chad and Sam, all looking to her for their movements. Moving in behind was a second squad, six of the volunteers from among the other Ranger communities who stepped up to help. Their decision to follow Violet's lead was made without discussion, adopted by each of them on the simple principle that she was the most familiar with their mission, and thus most qualified. She hoped they were right. She wished Louis was here.

They arrived at the wall behind the garden, near where Ms. Martin's grave lay. Violet nodded at Gerry, who began rigging charges, doorbuster equipment left over from the time before, in a roughly oval shape against the weakened brick. Violet looked up at the wall above. Blasting a hole in it would weaken it further, and there might never be a wall as safe and sturdy there again. Part of why she was alive was because of that wall. She was sure part of why Clementine had stayed was the protection that wall could give her and AJ. And now, she was trading it away, possibly forever, for one shot at retaking her home, and she could not decide it was worth it, in her heart. Even so, when Gerry looked to her for confirmation, she licked her lips and spoke.

“When this goes off, we have just seconds to get to the stables. Sheila, Bill, clear the belltower, on our left and use it for high ground. The rest of you, follow me.”

Nervous faces surrounded her. She realized they needed more.

“What we are fighting for here is not just for possession of a set of buildings, we're fighting for a better world. That better world starts with us rescuing Sarah and Rich, and it starts with letting the Clan know that the world they want to go back to will never, ever exist again. Because even if we die here, more of us will be born tomorrow.”

She whispered this, and hoped they were inspired, but looking around the stone faces, she worried they were not strengthened, that mentioning their potential deaths was demoralizing. She almost wished for a time machine and the chance to try again when Sam slowly raised his right fist. First shoulder high, then right into the air, straight above him. Then Chad followed suit, then Sheila, then the whole crew were together in silent solidarity. Violet nodded. It was time. The group posted up on the wall, slid their earplugs into place, and Violet checked her shotgun. Clementine had recovered it from a Clan member, and passed it on to her. Jordan had gifted her the shells to make it deadly again, in secret from Kelsey. She disarmed the safety and gave the signal. 

Gerry's breach charges thumped simultaneously, and dust filled the air. She clambered over the debris through the cloud of dust, grateful for the red bandanna Pete had given each of them, to help identify each other from the Clan. The covering over her mouth and nose let her breath through the smoke more easily.

She gained the even ground on the far side, charging past the greenhouse, sparing no attention to watch Sheila and Bill split off, and pulled short on the right turn before the graveyard, the first open space to cross before they could gain the stables. She glanced out and saw two Clan, reacting to the blast with confusion, and drawn weapons. She cursed at her slowness, and threw a grenade around the corner, to land near their feet. Panicking, the two dove away from the cylinder, and Violet rounded the corner, she held her hatchet high and swung down full force on the neck of the closer one. Gagging sounds emerged from him, but Violet knew he would not die for minutes, and as the other one rolled over in confusion, bringing his weapon to bear, she let a shell rip his arm and neck to shreds. While the explosion may have alerted the Clan to their presence, the distinctive sound of gunshot raised the alarm. The group as one rushed for the doorway to the stables, just west of the administration building. Violet had no time to recover her grenade as bullets began issuing from across the courtyard.

The six of them found places within the stables and began returning fire. The second squad was caught behind the wall leading to the greenhouse, and couldn't emerge to follow them. Violet cursed, they would have to conquer the courtyard alone before they could get backup. She thought she saw Sue land a hit, but it was hard to tell from so far away. Right now, they were just wasting ammunition.

“That grenade.” Chad said, “You didn't pull the pin?” 

“I think grenades are basically extinct by now. That's a decoy. It's wood, carved and painted to look like the real thing.” She shook her head. “Just a trick.” She looked around. “We've got to get into the west wing. There's some windows we can get through if we go out the back.” 

“Yeah, one problem with that.” Chad said, pointing. The path to the back door was blocked by Chopsie, signs of fresh abuse on his flanks, rolling his eyes and threatening to rear at the sounds of gunfire from within his home. His mouth was frothy and his attitude was wild. If they tried to pass him, he could kill one of them. Violet hefted her shotgun. She could put him down, make it quick and painless. He was dangerous right now, and there was no way to calm him. She took aim and tried to apologize in her heart, but the eyes of the creature bore into her. 

“Get clear of the door.” she said, and aimed instead at the rope tying him to his post. With a shot, he was freed, and he ran out into the courtyard, where he danced in agitation, bucking and kicking wildly. The Clan, seeing the horse, a valuable item to them, in their firing path, ceased fire, and the scene became oddly quiet as the horse bucked and shivered in stress and anger. Violet tore her gaze away, hoping for the best for the animal, and ushering her people along to the back yard. Gerry and Sue stayed in the stables to contest the courtyard. 

She saw Ted smashing a window as she emerged into the yard. He offered his aid helping her through, past the jagged edges and into the classroom beyond. Violet swept the room quickly, and found it was abandoned. She motioned the rest of her crew in. Ted, Chad, Sam, and her. It wasn't the force she had hoped, but with the second squad pinned down, there was nothing for Violet but to press on. 

The hallway was dark, internal, with classrooms on either side. Only a little light filtered in from the open doors. The dark was part of the reason Marlon had barricaded this section of the school, to avoid accidents. Now, Violet could see the barrier had been disassembled, and that meant the Clan was making use of these rooms, which meant any of them could hold ambush.

Violet signed to her followers, “You two, check that side, Ted, cover me.” She knew they didn't understand sign language, but the act of saying it was expressive enough, and they understood well enough to follow her orders. She advanced along the creaking floorboards slowly, not wanting to trip or give away their position.

A door swung open and a man emerged, seeming to be unaware of their presence. Violet and Ted fired simultaneously and he crumpled in place. Violet rushed to the doorway he emerged from and scanned the room for any backup he may have had. She was an instant faster than the second Clansman, firing at him and missing, but her shot made him flinch, and fire into the wall just above her head. Looking up, she saw the light streaming through the bullet hole and into the hallway. After a millisecond of not processing what she was seeing, she rolled along the wall, flinching backwards and into a crouch as more bulletholes sprouted where she once was, the gunman aiming for her through the wall. After the shots ceased, she cautiously rose to look through one of the bulletholes, and saw the man braced behind a desk. She slid just one more shell into her shotgun, motioned for Ted to join her, and racked it. Before the man could open fire again, Violet fired the shotgun shell into the room, vaguely in his direction, forcing him to hide behind the desk, but Ted, following her lead, pumped three bullets into the desk, and he slumped over, hit through his cover the same way he had tried to hit them.

Ted hurried over to him, and finished him off, careful to put a bullet into his brain before he could turn. Violet did the same with the man they felled outside the room, using her hatchet in a swift motion, cutting into his skull, and freeing it in one practiced motion. Muzzle flashes from up ahead down the hallway forced her into the classroom, and she heard some shots coming from the direction of Sam and Chad, as they held them off.

“Whew, that was close.” Ted said, reloading into a fresh magazine and placing the first one in the second one's place after checking how many bullets it retained.

“Goddamn guys are everywhere.” Violet reloaded steadily, thankful for how useful a shotgun was in such tight quarters, but also wary of her short stamina and long reload time.

“That's, what, four down? How many to go? Eight?” Ted asked

“Fuck if I know. Maybe sixteen. How many bullets do we even have?” Violet said

“I've got 35, plus my sidearm. You?”

“Only seven. And my sidearm, of course.” She grimaced, “We'd better make them count.”

“If we can get to the nest, the rest of our guys can come in the front gate. They'll be trapped in the Dorms then, and maybe we can get them to surrender.”

A new hail of bullets rained down the hallway, closer now. They heard a cry of pain and they met gazes,

“Time to get back at it.” Ted said, shouldering his rifle.

Violet knelt next to the door frame, where she saw Chad's boots disappearing into a classroom on the far side of the hallway. She counted down the seconds, gauging the distance for the shooters to reach the door, when they would turn away from her. She waited, until an instinct triggered in her, and she rotated on her knee into the hallway, followed by Ted. The two lit up the shooters just as they turned to the doorway. Violet fired two shots, Ted five, and the two were gone. Violet covered the end of the hallway as she advanced on Sam's hiding place. She stepped over the bleeding out bodies and into the classroom. 

Chad sucked air and blood flaked his lips, as he lay under Sam's protective presence. Sam's eyes went wide and he put up his weapon when he saw it was her. His eyes contained terror, and sorrow.

“He got hit, what do we do?”

Ted finished making sure the two at the door wouldn't rise as walkers and looked at Chad. With just a glance, and a shaking of the head, Violet knew what he thought. Chad was already dead. His body just didn't know it yet. 

“Sam, you have to get away from him.” Violet said slowly and clearly.

“What do you mean, he's...”

“Sam! Now! He's going to turn.”

“He's not that badly hurt, he's just-”

Ted was upon them, flipping Sam onto his back and holding Chad down by the neck and wrist. Instants later, Chad's white eyes came alive and he struggled against Ted's grip wildly and uselessly. 

“Vi, little help?” He asked, turning him with some struggle towards her, giving her a clear shot at the struggling walker's face. She swung her hatchet once, burying it in her friend's face, spraying still fresh blood over the floorboards. She swung again and dashed most of his teeth out with a blow that was too low, and he slowed significantly. Her third blow split his skull from the side, and he hung limp again. She breathed out slowly, angrily. He was gone. He was gone and it was her fault.

Looking at his broken body, she thought about how he might not have died if they had laid siege instead, like Clementine had wanted. It was a world where the boy would never progress further because she had made a choice. And yet... if he hadn't sought the Rangers, she may never have met him at all, had he not attempted to join the Castle Violet survivors, he may have ended up somewhere else entirely. Even to come with them on this attack was a thing he had chosen. As much as a result of her choice, his death was a culmination of a long string of choices he and thousands of other people had made, and every one of them was a choice that tried to make the world better. She, leading this attack, was a part of that morass, not its master. She turned and strode out the classroom door. It was time to keep going.

Sam was thoroughly shaken, and with only Ted remaining, she considered falling back for reinforcements. They had killed four more of them in this assault. At most, they had ten, twelve fighters left. But if they took the nest now, if they had the machine gun, it would be over. A delay, and the people manning the nest would know their flank was exposed when the four didn't return. The staircase would become a killzone, and it would be impossible to take the nest without burning down the whole building.

She trod off towards the end of the hallway. Towards her target. Ted followed her close, and Sam trailed behind, lifting one of the rifles from one of the corpses before trailing them. They met no resistance at the foyer, and they heard the acid spitting intermittently from the machinegun nest above them. They could roughly place it relative to themselves, but not precisely. 

Violet gave a signal to Ted, who unlimbered a glass vial full of brown goop. Striking a match, he lit the wick leading within. He waited until it caught, when it began issuing thick, grey smoke in short bursts through the hole. He lobbed the low tech grenade onto the landing, where it shattered, belching that smoke in all directions. Violet charged up the stairs, taking care to make her footfalls light enough not to give away her position. Before she disappeared into the cloud, she saw Ted following her, and Sam hesitate. Sam knelt at the neck of the hallway, and trained her gun on the hallway leading to the music room. Smart, Violet thought to herself. The boy had great instincts, protecting their backside like that. She wondered if he'd like to become a Ranger. The smoke enveloped her and Ted.

A set of gunshots came from somewhere up ahead, and Violet returned fire once. Unsure if she hit her target herself, she hurled herself at the place she remembered the door to the Dean's office had been. Bullets landed all around where she had been. Violet had lost track of Ted. Inside the Dean's office, the smoke wasn't as thick, and Violet backed off to allow any unfortunate confused targets to enter her sight lines. After a few moments, the smoke began to thin coming through the open doorway, and visibility was going to soon be easier in the hall, so she crept closer to the doorway again.

Exactly at the corner, she ran into one of the Clan defenders. The man who killed Omar. The bear of a man with the black braided hair. She pushed herself backwards, trying to bring her shotgun up to shoot him, but he was too close. He stepped in and held the gun by its top, twisting its end away from him. She released the shotgun and tried to shove him at his shoulders with a quick strike to add distance so she could draw her sidearm. She knew she wouldn't be overpowering the much larger man, and needed to kill him from outside arm's reach. He reacted quicker and parried her shoulder strike-shove with a quick swat of the back of both hands pushing them to the outsides. He let the shotgun clatter to the ground and he stepped in again, matching all the distance she was giving up, and leading with a knife held in one hand and braced with the other.

She allowed his motion to carry him forward, and hopped gently into the air, managing to grab his arm and using it to guide herself around the bulky man, out of the path of the knife, to land with her knee on the back of his lead knee. His knee hit the ground, but he effortlessly pivoted on it to his left, coming around with the knife in his other hand. Violet barely pulled her lower body back to avoid being disemboweled by the slash. She managed to put a hand on his forearm and almost pulled him into an arm-bar, but the knife was held backwards in his hand, and she had to step back again. This time, she managed to put her hand on her sidearm before he rose, thrusting forward with a kick to her midsection that she rolled with. A blind lashing with the knife caught her scalp with what felt like barely a nick but her hair immediately felt wet and warm. 

Violet gave up her tactic of retreating and stepped inside the man's reach, jabbing his crotch before he had a chance to recover his balance after the kick, then putting everything she had behind a leopard's paw strike to his armpit. In spite of the sudden shock of pain, those strikes didn't make him drop the knife, but his arm clearly protested and he didn't immediately kill her with it. Instead, his right hand grabbed for her hair. She twisted out of the way and tried to pull his hand into a wrist lock or throw or whatever she could manage, but he pulled it back too quickly. He lunged with a knee, and she allowed herself to be hit in the midsection, knocking her wind free, but she let it go, and found the real threat, the knife coming down at her, parried it at the elbow, and redirected it blade first into that knee.

Only then, did she collapse, gasping, retching, at the force of that blow. She crawled desperately away from the giant, spitting, coughing. The blood running from her scalp flowed into her right eye and she could not see. She felt his staggering steps after her. He was going to catch her. She rolled to the side just as he collapsed on top of her, trying to crush her with his superior size alone. She wriggled just free enough to pull inelegantly at his nose, and used that leverage to wrench a leg free, and rotated around his bulk like a spider, reverse arm-locking him bracing her leg around his armpit and hugging the arm to her chest, rocking to try and hyperextend it. He lifted her entire body up a few inches with just the one arm, and pounded her back into the wood floor. She hoped he hadn't broken a rib, but didn't expect it. She rocked harder, and finally, he made the first noise she had heard from his mouth, a whining cry of pain. He tried to lift her again, but she rotated, using the moment of suspension to get the leverage she needed, and she felt his arm pull out of its socket at the shoulder the moment he slammed her back to the ground again. 

She pushed back with everything she had against the man's bulk, which, now that he was disabled from pain, and making no effort to close with her, he folded backwards. She finally freed the handgun from its holster, and without an instant's pause, shot him in the head twice. She trained the gun on the open doorway and breathed and cried the blood out of her eye for at least a full minute, still lying on her back and focused on the doorway.

Finally, she held her sleeve against the blood flowing from her scalp, and righted herself, leading with a one handed grip on her handgun, she swept the upper hallway for threats. She saw none, a trio of crumpled bodies near the window overlooking the courtyard, where the machine gun was mounted. The smoke bomb had almost completely cleared, but a light haze lingered.

“Hey, done dancing yet, purple lady?” Ted's voice asked weakly. She didn't see him at first. Then she realized, he was one of the crumpled bodies at the end of the hall. She hurried over to him, stumbling with her own injuries.

“Ted. Oh my god!” She reached him. He had red throughout his lower half, and was holding his hand against his upper right abdomen, and blood flowed weakly between his fingers. She saw bulletholes in the skulls of both the other Clansmen next to him. Ted must have walked over to make sure they wouldn't become walkers, and then immediately collapsed.

“I'm not sure if it was dumb luck, or great skill, but one of those fuckers tagged me through the smoke.”

“Don't talk, Ted, save your strength.”

“Oh hell, Vi, you know what this is.” He looked with sadness at her, but it wasn't sadness for himself, it was all concern for her. All apology, no regret.

“Get Gerry and Sue. I kinda want them to be here for this.” he said. His free hand searched his pouches and pockets one by one with shaking fingers. Violet got up and stumble-ran to the bannister, where she shouted down to Sam, “Sam! Get Gerry and Sue. Tell them Ted's hurt. And that we've got the nest.” And she hurried back to Ted's side.

“You know, Vi, you did so fucking good. Shit, I'dve given you command over my men after today. I'd give you command over the whole fucking alliance after today if I had anything to say about it.” He said this around a match he had stuck between his lips. His hands were still traveling from pocket to pocket.

“I'm not interested, Ted.” She said, around tears.

“Good. Stay not interested. All the best people are.”

Finally he found what he was looking for. A beat to fuck up cigarette, half empty from losing its tobacco packing and being crushed or bent. The beating of feet on the staircase drew Violet's attention, and she readied her weapon, in case it was attackers, but it was Sue and Gerry. The large pair approached, care in their expressions, and knelt beside him.

“Fuck me. Want to help me out with this, Ger?” he asked, indicating the match he couldn't strike with one hand. Gerry leaned over and struck it on the first try, holding it up to the end of Ted's last cigarette. Puffing it, he coughed. Violet and Sue held his shoulders steady from either side, trying not to aggravate his wound.

“Oh Ger, you're always helping me. You're just the master of equipment. My trusted companion. Give a job to Gerry, it'll get done.”

“Thanks boss.” Gerry said simply.

“Sue? Gonna contradict me?” Ted asked.

“Not right now.” She said, tears at the edges of her own eyes. Her hand closed around Gerry's in mutual support and love. Together they covered Ted's bloody hand with theirs.

“What did I ever do to get so lucky?” He asked, not a tinge of irony in his tone. “My brothers and sisters, my cup runneth over. That I could spend my last days in the best way possible for a man to live it. I just hope I washed away all the wrong I did before I knew better.”

“We're not here to run the numbers on your heart like an accountant. You're a brother to all mankind.” Gerry said it almost reverently. Like it was a catechism.

“Well, friends, it's starting to really hurt. I think it's time to go.” He sucked the cigarette down to its filter and spit it out. Gerry sat him up and he dutifully put his arms behind his back, where Gerry ziptied his hands together. Sue did the same with his feet at the ankles. Violet looked on in utter stupification. 

“What are you doing?”

“Making him safe in case he turns.” Sue responded, placing a rolled up towel in his mouth and securing it with cord. Ted looked extremely uncomfortable, and his side bled fresh. Gerry then ushered Violet away from Ted's side, and stood, pulled out his firearm and fired it directly into the center of Ted's chest. He lay still, suddenly peaceful.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Violet said. Gerry and Sue paid no attention to her, watching Ted's corpse unblinking until, inevitably, its white eyes opened and rolled at them. It made to move, but barely shifted even slightly in its bonds. Its hisses sounded bizarre behind the towel. Gerry fired again, this time at the head, stopping Ted forever.

“Sorry you had to see that Violet. It's a little thing some of the Rangers do.” Gerry said sadly. “We don't refuse to turn, if it can be made safe.”

“But, why?” Violet shuddered, looking back at Ted's walker corpse, scarcely imagining the horror of accepting that fate.

“Because one day, someone will die, and they will not rise again.” Sue said, “And that day will be the dawn of a new era. We're just helping everyone we leave behind check to see if today is that day.”

Violet looked between the two as if they were insane. Seeing her continuing confusion, Gerry knelt next to Ted, and began freeing his limbs, rearranging them into a more peaceful looking arrangement.

“See, every one of us goes to our death thinking maybe the people we leave behind will be left with the hope that they will live to see a world without walkers. That maybe, the world will be better. Soon.” Gerry looked at Sue, “What is it that Pete says?”

“So it goes?”

“Nah, the other thing.”

“Well may the world go, when I'm far away?”

“Yeah. Well may the world go, when I'm far away.”

Violet looked again at Ted's corpse, and the tears, which had been flowing freely and steadily, now burst from her in a torrent. The cut on her scalp opened up again, and she had to hold her sleeve against it awkwardly as she erupted in sobs.

She was vaguely aware of being consoled by one of them, but she just felt the steady presence and arms supporting her and had no idea who it was. The firing of the machinegun brought her back to reality. Gerry was raking fire down on the Clansmen still caught in the courtyard, quickly turning that battle into a rout. Violet reached out, trying to rise, to help.

“No, Violet, you're done. We're taking you out of here. You can't do anything more today, and anyway, you've given us the victory already. Let us carry it out.”

She intended to fight back, as Sue picked her up as effortlessly as the black haired Clansman had, but she found herself limp, staring. At a reprieve from the tears, but facing a numbness that spread to her whole body and mind. She could see out of her eyes, and she kept pressure on her scalp, but she was effectively unconscious as she was carried away from the field of battle.

Castle Violet got smaller in her view and her numb brain felt like it was shrinking until it was so small it disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I released this chapter a few hours early because I'm away from home right now (traveling safely, no contact with anyone who hasn't isolated and tested, isolated and tested before I left, will test after I get back) and I might be too busy tomorrow and the next day to post. Wild few days for the US, you have to agree. I can only respond to these events with how Pete would respond, if he were here: "All you fascists bound to lose... in Washington." 
> 
> I hope everyone stays safe, and remember, even though this coup attempt was disorganized and uncoordinated, and ultimately didn't have the support it needed, people still believed in it, and all it takes for a coup to succeed is just a little more support than this. Find a network of people who you trust, and help protect each other. 
> 
> Anyway, this fanfic is reaching its conclusion, and I hope everyone who has read it has gotten something out of it. I began writing this in 2019 as part of NaNoWriMo, and continued writing it over most of the first half of 2020. To be honest, I didn't exactly expect to finish, and I didn't expect to be as proud of it as I ended up being. I now can say that I wrote my novel. I love the characters from the game, and they're all so incredibly distinct, and I really hope I did them justice. I hope the original characters were effective. Little behind the scenes here: Chad and Abby were written intentionally to be very dislikable, and in both cases, I hope they won readers over somewhat by the end. Ted was originally written to be an antagonist, and his group were the first scouting party of Clan. Instead, every time I put my pen to paper, he seemed to stand up and tell me he wasn't like that, so I paid attention and let him be an ally. To be honest, writing his death scene made me tear up a little, and I definitely never expected that. Also, Pete was just so much fun to write. I really can't recommend enough just putting a Pete in your story to tell everyone they're fascists and sing old union songs and just generally reference shit for your own satisfaction. 
> 
> Anyway, one more chapter, and I'll probably post it in 3-4 days, just so you can finish the story while everyone's still excited, since it's mostly falling action and conclusion. I think it'll have a lot of payoff of a lot of the stuff featured throughout the story, but still, better to end it before anyone gets bored than draw it out.


	17. The World We Make For Others (also, trigger warning: suicide)

Smoke rose around the courtyard as Clementine rode in on Majesty, through the destroyed gates and past the disassembled barricades that had taken their place. The patches of burning oily rags dotting the area sputtered and flickered, and someone was running around burying them in clods of dirt. She saw the utterly destroyed garden, populated only by singed plants and overturned dirt. That had been her contribution to the fight. Borrowing Sam's bow and arrows, she had sent arrow after arrow carrying burning payload into the courtyard, hoping to raise smoke and chaos, and make the Clan feel desperate and confused. Now there was no garden.

She looked towards the Dorms, where the last of them had holed up. None of the bodies of Clan members outside the Dorm were Lilly, so she must also be with them. She rode in full view, knowing they didn't have any sight lines into the courtyard, but felt very exposed. She could tell morale was good on her side, as people marched around, attending to small tasks and chatting, but the tension that the fight was not yet over hung in the air.

She saw the door to the hot box open, and from within, a tiny, thin, frail Sarah was carried out. She moved her head on her own, but her legs could not support her, and she seemed to only barely register the people around her. She was taken into the administration building, where she'd be safe and cared for. Clementine hoped she would be okay, and was glad for Violet pushing for the earlier rescue. It could be Sarah only survived because of that decision.

Clementine accepted help dismounting from Loren, to sit on the low wall near the steps up to the dormitory doors. Bill and Sheila were guarding the door, and nodded to her.

“Hey now, listen, they can hear yeh if yeh speak loudly, and don't believe 'em if they ask you to come closer. Earlier young Joe was speaking, they asked him to come closer didn't they, and he came close, and boom, don't you know?” Bill said

“They took a shot at Joe, but missed.” Sheila translated, “But they might try again if they think they can get you.”

Clementine nodded and carefully arranged herself behind the brick, sitting on a stool Loren dragged over so she could see. The pops of gunfire were now coming from outside the castle walls as the second battle took place while they reset the barricades against the walkers. She called out experimentally,

“This is Clementine, the one person you probably want to talk to out here.” She waited, “I'm the one you can surrender to.”

“Surrender is for the weak.” a voice called out from within.

“Yes,” Clementine agreed, “Surrender is for everyone.” She shook her head at herself, she wasn't going to get anywhere being a smartass. She amended, “You have nowhere to go. The building is surrounded. You can leave this place safely, and all it takes is talking to me for a little bit. Doesn't that sound better than slowly starving?”

Silence met her.

“Tell me how you want the rest of the day to go.” Clementine asked, after it was clear they weren't going to respond. 

“We mount a counterattack, drive you out of our fortress, and hunt you degenerates to the ends of the earth.”

Clementine bit her tongue to stop from laughing. That was a dead end.

“Hey, I don't recognize your voice. Is your leader there? Harry?” She asked. There was a silence for several moments,

“He... killed himself.” the voice returned. Clementine blanched. “Holy shit.” she said.

“What about Lilly? Is she in there with you?” 

“I'm here, Clementine.” Lilly's voice issued forth. Her tone was beaten, hopeless, but with the edge of violence.

“Lilly, I said I'd kill you if I ever saw you again.” She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the courtyard wall. “Why did you come back?”

“What did you say?” Her voice sounded confused.

“I said, why didn't you stay away?” She cried out, “How do you see this ending here, am I going to beat your head in with a crowbar, while I tell AJ to wait outside?” Clementine realized she was making no sense, and took a deep breath and then another. “I just wanted you to stay away. I never wanted to kill you. Why do you think I let you go? You're-” She swallowed, “You're the last person alive on the planet other than me who knew Lee. If you die, a little more of him dies too.”

“Clementine. I can't believe that you are so sentimental to think that.” Lilly's voice was snide, but she tried to conceal it. She was proud enough to not beg for her life, but could not be openly defiant of her captor.

“You killed Carley. I liked Carley. But even you knew that was a mistake at the time. You talked a lot about your father, on the boat. It made me realize some stuff about you. When things get hard, you cling to the past. You force the world to conform to your understanding of it. You reproduce the world your father gave to you, which was a continuous struggle of everyone fighting everyone. You see everything as zero sum, a binary choice between you and others. But that stops you from seeing there's a better way. We can make the world a better place than it used to be. We can make a world better than the one that shaped your father into the man who raised you.”

“You're dreaming.” Lilly said, but she said it without ire.

“Maybe. But you could dream with us.” She felt surprised looks fall on her, and she licked her lips before continuing.

“Here's what's going to happen. You're going to turn over Lilly, and Rich, and all your weapons. We're going to escort you to the edge of our territory, through the forest to the north. We'll give you food and water for several days, and you'll be welcome to keep whatever knives or clubs you need to protect yourselves from walkers, and we're going to expect to never see you again. If you return to your Clan, tell them how many you lost fighting us, how many we are, and how we've got our eyes out for you now.” The thought crossed Clementine's mind, that Kelsey had predicted that five Clansmen would survive, and return to retake the school again, that they would repeat this bloody affair, and now, it seemed like she was allowing about five to escape.

The Clansmen were taking a while to answer her, and Clementine furrowed her brow. She was just about to demand an answer when she heard a cry of pain and fear from within, some struggle, then a gunshot. She motioned for the assault force to go ahead. Bill and Sheila led the remaining Rangers through the door and into the Dorm foyer. Clementine heard no more shots, and after a moment, Bill reappeared in the doorway, a grim look on his face.

“We got them, but I tell you, well... maybe it's best you see for yourself.” he shook his head, talking slower even than normal, and softly. Clementine got up and made her way to the door. Seeing inside, she gasped. On the floor, a bullet in her head, was Lilly. The four remaining Clansmen knelt in a rough semicircle around her, hands on their heads, watched over by the Rangers.

“What?” Clementine asked, then, “Why?”

One of the Clansmen, a man with a shaved head, whose hair stubble was growing in enough to notice a hairline receded almost to the ears answered her, “She was a race traitor anyway.” his voice placed him as the one she had been speaking to through the wall. “Rumor had it she fucked one of them.” He continued, placing special emphasis on the word “them.”

“And we weren't going to let her become one of you.” a second voice added in. Baldy nodded.

Rage bubbled up in Clementine's throat. The revolver was in her hand. Four Clansmen remained. She had four bullets. Surely this was a divine plan, a sign that this was what the universe wanted. She saw Bill tense, and Sheila relax at her intense expression and promise of imminent violence. It seemed an easy, straightforward choice, to kill them all, unarmed, kneeling, she didn't care, she just wanted to live in a world without them. They had heard the same plea she had given Lilly, and they were so threatened by it, they had to kill someone just in case they might have been convinced by it.

And yet, she had told Violet, no more choices like this. She promised the assault was her last act as leader. This wasn't her decision to make. She uncocked the hammer and holstered her revolver again.

“Well, Sheila, what do Rangers do with people who kill a member of a Blue Ridge community?”

“We try them, and if they're unrepentant outsiders, sometimes we execute them. Usually we exile them or take their trigger finger. Something like that.” Her gaze passed over the group coldly. “I think execution would definitely be on the menu in this situation.” The prisoners looked back at the woman unflinchingly. She nodded, and the Rangers began binding them and hauling them away. Clementine left.

The damage was moderate, Clementine learned as she surveyed the grounds. The garden was a total loss, burned and ripped up. The wall near the greenhouse was totally unsound, and it was hard to imagine it remaining standing for much longer. She thought the responsible thing to do would be to disassemble it before the loosened brick tumbled and damaged the greenhouse. It would leave their home permanently vulnerable to walkers, and her head spun trying to think of ways to counteract that. She worried that in regaining her home, she had destroyed it.

She noticed Willy sobbing near the fire pit. She crossed to him and sat down, ready to give him comfort if she could. As she sat, she noticed what he was looking at. In the firepit, her prosthetic foot and her crutches, hopelessly bent into pretzel shapes and cast into the fire. She felt the smack of realization hit her. They had intentionally destroyed her aids. Somewhere inside her, she wasn't surprised. If anything, she had expected it, without thinking about it. In their world, people like her wouldn't exist. She smiled and put her hand on Willy's shoulder. He looked up at her.

“They broke it.” he said, “Why would they do that?” She shook her head,

“It doesn't matter. We'll build new ones.”

The Rangers and Castle Violet survivors and Richmond fellows streamed slowly in through the ruined front gate, returning from their own battle with walkers in the forest, attracted as they were to the sounds of battle. Violet was with them, riding Majesty and leading Chopsie. Clementine looked up at her with a grin so broad her cheeks hurt. They had both survived. It was over and they both survived. Her Violet had come back to her, mostly unscathed. Violet looked down at her.

“What?” She laughed, self-conscious at being looked at so adoringly.

“Nothing.” Clementine said, still with the same look on her face. Violet smiled and looked away, somehow unable to handle being looked at like that.

“Um, I'm going to return Chopsie to his stables, probably going to care for him and Majesty. Make sure they're healthy and settled. Willy, I heard Gerry say there are too many bodies to bury, and he's working on making some pyres. Do you want to help him?”

Willy shook his head. He was still looking at the ruined prosthetic foot. Clementine sighed,

“It's okay Willy, if you can't help out right now, but you're by far the most qualified person to safely start a whole bunch of fires. And besides, you'll need to figure out where your charcoal is, how much is left, you know.”

Willy didn't answer, just slid off the rock he was sitting on and trudged off towards the gate. Clementine and Violet shared a shrug, hoping for the best.

“Are you going to attend the trial?”

Clementine shook her head. “I'm gonna say a few words for Chad. We're gonna bury him in our graveyard, if that's okay with everyone. I just figure with Sarah staying with us...” She trailed off. Violet nodded. “Yeah, of course. I'll be there. ” They looked at each other longer, and Clementine felt something well up inside her, and before she realized it, she was speaking.

“Hey Vi, uh... what I'm about to ask you might sound weird, but, uh, I guess I'm going to ask it anyway.” Violet shifted in the saddle, hearing Clementine's nervous tone.

“Sure, ask away.”

Now that the moment was upon her, Clementine felt a tightness around her throat, and she had to force it out,

“Will you marry me?”

Violet's eyes widened in surprise. Clementine's heart was too large, and pressed her lungs against her ribcage and she could breath only in small breaths.

“Are we still doing marriage? I mean, isn't that kind of old world stuff? A lot of us back in the Ericson days had some bad experience with our parents' marriages.”

“I dunno, but I think we can maybe take the good parts and bring them into this world with us. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life, and want to share our love with everyone we know.” Clementine felt sickly sweet, almost regretting bringing it up, because it seemed like Violet didn't think it was a good idea. But she was still giddy that she had admitted that it was what she wanted. Even if she was rejected, the offer was still hers to make.

“Jeez Clem, only you would propose on a battlefield.” Violet chuckled and shook her head.

“Yeah, haha.” Clementine forced a laugh, looking down at the turf between them. Violet swung out of her saddle and crossed to kneel in front of Clementine.

“So?” Clementine asked hopefully, “What's your answer?”

“Clementine.” Violet said, taking her hand in hers, “I would love to be your wife.” She slowly traced the back of Clementine's hand and said with a smile, “You are the only person in a million years I could have ever said that to.” Clementine's head was white with light so bright she couldn't see. She had to close her eyes because it was so bright. Tears leaked out from between her eyelids. They were embracing, their lips found each other, and time stretched out.

Finally, Majesty blew out a breath of air noisily, and the two fiancees parted, giggling at the interruption and for no reason. Clementine realized that she was going to have to eulogize Chad in less than an hour, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop smiling before then. 

The next several days passed quickly, owing to the fact that each day from sunup to sundown was nonstop work. The first day concluded with dozens of cremation fires, eating through almost all the charcoal Willy recovered from his previous supply. Willy had begun aggravated, but settled into his role snapping orders at people, making sure the fires were safe. Once the fires were going strong, the sadness he had left him and he was back to his old self. In all, they had lost five Rangers, including Chad and Ted.

Rich was discovered mostly unharmed, chained to the wall in the basement. He related the story of how Sarah had refused to work for the Clan, always moving slowly, unhurried, unproductive. When they refused to feed her, she worked even slower. When they whipped her, she worked while she was directly observed, and sabotaged things when no one was looking. Finally, they introduced her to the hot box, and she refused to be cowed by her experience in it. They had thrown her in a second time two days before the Rangers' attack, and Rich was certain she was dead by then.

But she pulled through. By the second day, she was semiconscious for hours at a time, but from her pained cries, it was better for her when she slept. They regulated her body temperature as best they could, and wet her mouth periodically. It was the best idea they had for caring for her without the ability to do an IV drip. It wasn't until the third day that she gained lucidity, and the extent of the damage was understood. Somehow, the experience had hurt her nerves, and she had trouble walking, and trouble grasping things with her right hand. Violet also suspected her vision wasn't as good anymore, but Sarah wouldn't confirm that, refusing to be tested.

In the days that followed, everyone worked together to undo the damage the Clan had done. The garden was replanted, bigger than before, and a wide strip of the deforested area outside the wall was fenced off and also cultivated. The greenhouse had suffered some minor damage, and it was patched within a day, and seedlings were sprouting there within a week. The biggest task was the wall they had damaged. Over the course of several days, they disassembled the weakened area, brick by brick. A scaffolding had to be erected and they started from the top down, chiseling away the mortar and lowering the bricks on a pulley where they were cleaned. Willy walked up and down the riverbed for days until he found clay deposits that were to his satisfaction. 

Eventually they had chipped and chiseled away the damaged parts of the wall, leaving a V shaped gap down to the ground and up to the crest of the wall. The next day, working in tandem all together, they reassembled the wall using mud-clay with reeds mixed in as mortar. By the time the sun was dipping in the sky, they were done. The wall was more beautiful than before. There were bricks that had been powdered by the explosives, so the wall was lower in the repaired section, but it was tall and sturdy. Clementine could scarcely believe it. Seeing the wall destroyed as it was, she could never have guessed it could be put back together.

The evening they had finished the wall, Louis and Abby returned from Springdale, Jordan in tow. They brought with them sacks of grain and oats, and the hungry workers had a feast. Louis and Abby held hands at dinner, and Clementine couldn't help but privately celebrate. She was happy for the couple, even though Louis seemed somehow separate from the Castle Violet crew now. Clementine reflected that Castle Violet was his family, his brothers and sisters, parents, aunts and uncles, and Abby was his whole world now. She looked over to Violet, who was chatting closely with Abby. Violet smiled back at her when she noticed her looking. Somehow, she had married into the family, and Louis had married out. She dismissed the bittersweet feeling. They'd always be family.

Loren had been mixing and chatting with many of the Blue Ridge Rangers during the reconstruction efforts, learning about their mission and their philosophy. She was hungry for explanation, and was frequently frustrated by the Rangers being unable to express it as an idea, not because it was too complex, but because it was too simple. As Gerry put it, “We just do what we do, and we do it because we want to.” The day after the feast, a car arrived that had traveled from Richmond with their new leader, a diminutive man named Klaus and also Aasim. 

“Aasim, what are you doing here? How's Ruby?” Louis asked excitedly, rushing up to him and giving him a big hug.

“Uh, sorry buddy, I'm a little out of practice. What was that?” Aasim looked around for help from the others quickly gathering.

“He wants to know how Ruby's doing.” Violet supplied, giving him a short hug of her own.

“Oh, she's doing great. Very far along now. Doctors say they're both healthy. They say it's a girl, but I have no clue how they could possibly know.” He said, while being passed back and forth among them for back pats and followup hugs. Clementine frowned, wondering if Aasim genuinely didn't understand ultrasound photography, or if he was acknowledging the fact of gender identity as separate from genitalia. 

“We're all glad she's doing well, but why are you here instead of watching over her?” Clementine asked, as she supplied the final back slap. Aasim's features drew into an expression of surprise.

“Oh, did no one tell you? We're here to try and form an alliance. The Blue Ridge Rangers, Richmond, Castle Violet. Lexington. All of us together. Klaus has been talking constantly about your 'mutual aid' idea since he first heard about it.”

The Castle Violet group all looked around to each other, and burst out laughing. “I'm not surprised Loren would forget to tell us about an alliance we were about to join.” Violet said. “I'm not totally sure she really understands what we really are, because I'm not sure it's even possible for all of the Ranger communities to independently agree to anything really, but we'll hear her out.”

“And you're back because you want to record it in your log.” Louis said, Aasim watched his signs very attentively and after a moment translating in his head nodded.

“Yes, if I write down what we had for dinner sixty days in a row, and missed the alliance that changes all of human history, I might be the worst chronicler of all time.”

“All of human history? That's a bit much.” Clementine blanched.

“I don't think it's an overstatement. I've been living in Richmond a while. It's grown strong. Survivors from all over have heard of it and made the journey there. It might be the strongest settlement on the east coast now. If they adopt Ranger principles, they might spread further than we can even know.”

Clementine and Violet shared a look. What he said sounded absurd, and yet, each of them saw the hope in the other's eyes. 

“Well, let's hear them out then I guess.” Clementine said with a chuckle.

Soon the four groups were assembled, Rangers sitting throughout the courtyard, Klaus, Aasim, and Clementine arranged at the top of the steps leading to the administration building, and Sam, sitting alone nearby, looking very intimidated. On the wall, sitting in the sun was the Tabby, who seemed to have returned to Castle Violet with them, although she seemed no less annoyed at the large group of people gathered in her territory.

“So...” Klaus began, looking around the assembled people, unable to begin,

“We think, I think, that an alliance between our groups is in the best interests of all.” his voice came stilted and halting. Clementine remembered that Richmond chose its leaders by lottery. Klaus probably never wanted to be in a position to give a speech.

“I think, what might be useful is if you tell us what you want from the Blue Ridge communities.” Clementine prompted. “We can go from there.” Klaus nodded gratefully.

“We have been engaged in battles with the New Frontier and the Clan on our northern and southern borders for years now. We have the tools, but not the manpower or training to fight them successfully. If we could have assurances that neither group could move through your territory, we could focus forces in the areas most at risk. Loren has told of your training, that you have secrets of warfare from the time before. If you let us put our warriors through your training programs, maybe that will be the edge we need. Maybe it could save a few lives.” He spoke, and directed it at Clementine, shying away from the assembled crowd of Rangers. From the crowd, Sue spoke,

“Ranger training is for Rangers. If we have people who we think will take our philosophy to heart, we'd train them regardless where they came from. Would you send your warriors out into the wild to protect groups that aren't Richmond itself?” There was a rousing murmur from the crowd of Rangers, indicating their agreement. Klaus shifted in place.

“Of course we're willing to protect you in turn.”

“The only reason we're able to survive as a group is as a community of communities. We hold nothing back from each other, resources, aid, movement. Would you be willing to guarantee these things to us? That seems like you have more to lose, and less to gain, but without that, we might become like vassal states to you. That's an arrangement we would not accept.” Gerry responded. Sue rolled her eyes and pantomimed a puppet flapping its mouth as he spoke. He ignored her.

“Yes. We've already agreed to such a thing with Castle Violet, to exchange knowledge, people, and goods freely. I see no reason we can't extend that to all your communities.” Klaus continued, looking down as he spoke.

“What assurance do we have that a subsequent leader of yours won't nullify the agreement? What happens when someone who disagrees with the relationship comes to power?” Clementine asked, aware of her hard negotiation with the previous leader. 

“If the relationship benefits both of us, our leader would face great pressure not to leave it. If they insist, individuals in our group will still provide on their own the benefits. When a more reasonable leader comes to power, they'll enter back into the agreement in name as well as practice. Social pressure will keep us compliant with the agreement. If, however, the alliance isn't to our mutual benefit, shouldn't we leave it anyway?” Klaus concluded with a shrug. “As much as you don't want to be a vassal, doesn't it seem we shouldn't either?” 

Pete looked to Clementine, “What do you think, Clementine? I'd say Castle Violet has had the most interaction with them. I'd expect as Castle Violet goes, so will the rest of the Blue Ridge communities.” Clementine shrugged her shoulders.

“Actually, I abdicated leadership immediately before the battle. I'm not the rightful leader of Castle Violet right now.”

“Wait, then who is?” Aasim asked, looking up from his logbook.

“Well, Ruby was my lieutenant, and I think it's safe to say that until a new vote is held, she's the leader, and I think if there's anyone who knows her mind well enough to speak for her, it'd be the father of her child.” Clementine said, looking pointedly at him. “That's you Aasim.”

He looked around at everyone, suddenly thrust into the spotlight from the side, where he had been calmly recording the events.

“Uh...” He started, looking ashen.

“You've been living in Richmond for months, and you've also spent time with Rangers. You're maybe the most qualified of any of us to know if our communities are compatable.” Clementine continued, gently urging him to speak.

“I... I think so.” He said, sounding less than sure. “But I think if there's one thing both communities share, it's the fact of decision making by everyone. I think we should vote on it. Everyone here, and if the Yes has it, it's approved, and if No has it, we each go our own way. Hopefully in peace.”

And so the groups were given instructions on how to cast their vote, and the people filed into the dormitory where the chutes were located. The act of voting took a while, with each person being issued a stone, and waiting for the sound of clattering and banging to end before the next person entered. Clementine hesitated for a moment when it came time for her to drop her stone. There was a vast difference between joining a group and essentially creating a nation. After a moment, she dropped her vote in the affirmative, and hoped it wasn't a mistake.

A half hour later, the vote piles were checked, and the Yes vote succeeded by a wide margin. Willy made a joke about it being a landslide, but no one laughed, so he cackled at his own joke. The group reassembled in the courtyard, a sense of brotherhood and togetherness in the air, a feeling of possibility. Pete spoke up.

“This agreement is distinct in nature from the mutual defense pact laid out in the Blue Ridge Ranger charter, and so I think this compact deserves its own name.” 

A variety of joke options were shouted out by the assembled group, to scattered laughter. Eventually Sam spoke up,

“Well, this territory was once called the Commonwealth of Virginia, and part of the idea of the pact is that we share our wealth in common. Doesn't that sound like what we are now? The Commonwealth of Virginia?” There was some rumblings of acceptance at that, but Pete stood again.

“No, it can't be that. This here is West Virginia. When the time came to end slavery, we hillbillies fought for the workers, and split from Virginia for all time. It can't be the Commonwealth of Virginia, but maybe just The Commonwealth.”

Clementine shook her head, “Nah, that's already taken. In my travels I heard about a group up north, I think in Ohio, that calls itself the Commonwealth. They're, uh, pretty bad, from what I hear.”

“Well, maybe something else then. Maybe...” Pete began, Gerry shook his head in disbelief. Pete continued, “Maybe... the Commonwealth of Toil?”

“Unbelievable.” Gerry said, but Sam was nodding,

“Yeah, that sounds badass.” He said,

“Yeah, that centers what we most value.” Jordan said in his deep, loud voice.

“Fuck. That sounds cool.” Willy said. The round of approval went around the group of youngsters. Gerry continued shaking his head.

“I guess you get your way after all, old man.” Pete tried to avoid looking too pleased with himself, and largely failed.

“Alright, Pete. I guess that's what we are now. The Commonwealth of Toil.”

Hours later, after the chores of the day were finished and the groups had worked out what their alliance would mean, another day of feasting was prepared. Violet and Clementine sat opposite Sarah and AJ, with Pete at the head of the table. As they ate, AJ helped Sarah cut her portion before passing her cutlery to her. Clementine smiled at AJ helping without being asked, then looked to Pete.

“Pete, earlier Gerry said that you got your way. What did he mean by that?”

He chuckled to himself, covering his mouth as he chewed and swallowed. 

“The Phrase Commonwealth of Toil comes from the time before. It was what people like me used to call the utopia that would come when we got our way.” He shook his head, “It's just a little joke I guess. I kept suggesting it when I convinced Hudson to reform the practices of the Rangers away from its Fascist origins. They didn't go for it.”

“Clem, what is 'utopia'?” AJ asked, his curious look covering his face.

“Uh, it means like a perfect society. A world that's the best it can be.”

He thought about that for a moment.

“So, since we've finally made your utopia, and it's the result of the monsters coming, you must be happy about them, happy about the old world being destroyed.” He asked. Pete shook his head, in a way that seemed practiced. As if he had thought about this already.

“No. When the old world was destroyed, unimaginable lives were lost. It was a tragedy of unfathomable proportion. There's nothing about the world as it was that made this utopia impossible, and there's nothing about the new world that makes it more likely here. It's all just people, making choices, and every single day, people can make a different choice. The barriers to utopia in the old days were erected by people, and people had the ability to tear those barriers down as well.” He paused in his speech, looking out over the people assembled in the courtyard, “It's only down to my shortcomings that I wasn't able to convince my comrades of the benefits until the coming of the new world. Part of me thinks if I had done more, done better, spoke with more confidence, been more aggressive, we could have prevented all the death you young folk have had to deal with.”

“You can't possibly hold all that guilt inside you. That's too much.” Violet said. Pete chuckled.

“I suppose you're right. A friend of mine who's long gone now would have told me 'Don't Egoize.' I miss her.”

“I'm sorry.” Clementine said. She looked at Sarah, remembering the other girl named Sarah she used to know. She thought about how hard she had worked to keep Sarah alive, and had failed. How it had struck her at the time that the world was too cruel, too dangerous for people like Sarah to survive. She noticed the difficulty the younger Sarah had just feeding herself, and decided that the world needed to make space for its Sarahs, and that was the measure of a successful society. And yet, she couldn't continue to carry her guilt, that she could know Sarah had died, and that it wasn't her fault. Her decisions hadn't led to the other Sarah's death, and at the same time, her death wasn't inevitable. Now that she had given up leadership, she knew she had all the more responsibility to be a part of creating the world where Sarah would live.

The following days passed into weeks, with the hard labor of rebuilding passing into the day to day work of maintenance and production. In twos and threes Rangers departed for their home settlements. Sam was offered membership in several Ranger groups, but he refused bashfully, insisting he had to return home to his family. The four Rangers who had followed Ted stayed on the longest, trying to convince Violet to be their new leader, but she laughed off their attempts, insisting her place from now on was at the Castle that shared her name. The issue of her incomplete training was never raised. The radio equipment was set up with the antennae at the top of the bell tower, where she could relay messages between Springdale and Lexington. She took Majesty out daily and gained mastery over the territory, learning all her home's secrets. 

After it became clear Violet would not lead them, Gerry and Sue asked permission to settle at Castle Violet long term. They had each come from a separate settlement, and met in their service as Rangers. Neither wanted to return to their original settlements without the other, and neither were much interested in continuing their service as Rangers without Ted. They wished to settle down together. Bill and Sheila went their own ways, signing on with separate Ranger groups, and parting from their old companions with firm hugs that seemed almost like salutes. 

Ruby and Aasim returned with their baby, who they had named in honor of Ms. Martin, and finally life settled into its normal rhythms again. The Castle was full of new faces, the baby, Sarah, Abby, Rich, Gerry and Sue, and they missed the people they had lost, Rosie, Omar, Chad and Ted. Their graveyard was sadly growing quite full, but the dormitory was more full than any time since Clementine had gotten there.

Game in the forests was burgeoning and the oats and grains from Springdale sustained them until the first harvests from the gardens. Gerry was a skilled canner, and they soon had foodstores again. Everyone missed Omar's skill preparing meals, and there was a feeling that as abundant as the food was, there was something missing from it.

Willy, now spoiled for bullet casings, threw himself into his charcoal burning, hoping to rearm the Rangers after the battle. He once again retreated to his cabin by the riverside. This time though, Sarah and AJ would make the trip out to visit him regularly. Somehow, Sarah was the bridge between the boys, and they became friends.

Abby and Louis moved in together, and Clementine had never seen him happier. He went out of his way to care for the children, and began working with Ruby and Clementine to create education standards for their development. Pete had moved on, but he had given Louis a number of new songs to play, and diagrams of musical instruments he could craft himself using everyday items or simple woodworking. He began cultivating the wild flowers of the area into beautiful flowering bouquets. He in a hundred ways made life more fun and beautiful.

Violet and Clementine had a ceremony to announce their marriage. They knelt together at the foot of the bell tower, and Ruby performed the ceremony, which she wrote herself. At the end she prompted them to read their vows.

“Clementine, I can't promise anything will ever be easy, even our relationship. I promise there will be times we disagree, when we get on each other's nerves, but I know we will always be there for each other.” She paused, “Shit,” she mumbled under her breath, “What I mean is,” she spoke more loudly, a blush spreading all the way to her ears, “is that I promise to love you every moment of every day, and do everything I can to make this hard world better, safer, and easier for you. I will protect you, and in turn be protected by you. I will sustain you, and in turn be sustained by you. I want to live every moment with you by my side.”

“And Clementine?” Ruby said, after nodding at Violet.

“Violet, I will love you and cherish you, I promise I will never take you for granted. I will make every little thing you do for me appreciated, and I will do whatever I can to make your burden lighter. You will be first in my life, along with AJ, and I will walk with you even if you have to carry me to do it. Violet, I will love you all the days of our lives.”

Ruby held hands with the two of them, acting as a bridge between them, and brought their hands together to be held by each other.

“I now pronounce you married. You may kiss, if you want.”

Violet looked shy at the idea, but Clementine closed the gap between them, covering her wife's lips with hers. Cheers went up from their whole group and Violet's eyes slid closed as she returned the kiss. They parted, and made to rise. Clementine could not though, and Violet lifted her, carried past their assembled friends. Clementine laughed and held tight to Violet's shoulders, privately delighting in her wife's physique. Her wife. Her WIFE. HER wife. She buried her face in Violet's neck.

And yet, the next day, she was shucking peas into a pot, and Willy passed by her without a word. It was surreal, that her whole life had changed in a moment, and yet it had all wound up the same. Gerry, who was helping with the food preparation, noticed her listless expression.

“What's wrong? You look sad, all of a sudden.”

Clementine shook her head and smiled at the man. 

“Nothing, it's just... yesterday was my wedding day, but what really changed? I'm still here, doing the same thing, living in the same room, managing the same lists of mundane things to be done. I guess I'm just realizing life isn't magical the way stories are.”

Gerry didn't say anything for a moment. “In some ways, you're right. Stories aren't the same as real life. But sometimes, in small ways, they can be.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, back in the world before, people used to go on vacation after they got married. It was called a honeymoon.”

“Yeah, I remember, but what's your point?”

“Well,” Gerry stirred the pot for a moment, “People went on honeymoons to help separate their lives before from their lives after, to add a little bit of that magic from stories into their lives. To have a chance to ride into the sunset, if you will.”

“Sure, but no one goes on vacation anymore.” Clementine said and returned to her task.

“Well why not?” Gerry asked seriously, “I mean, you're two of the most self sufficient people I've ever met, and my Rangers walked the length of Appalachia several times together. You've got horses, you could go anywhere.”

Clementine didn't say anything, processing what Gerry had said. After a few moments, when it seemed like she wasn't going to respond, he continued,

“Isn't there some place you've always wanted to go? Just to see it?”

An image formed in Clementine's mind, of the place she dreamed of going. The reds and oranges of earth and stone in layers, a yawning void ahead of her.

“Yeah, I've got a place like that.” She said simply, smiling at the idea.

It took less than a week to plan the trip. She had been surprised how easily Violet had accepted when she proposed the trip. Somehow she had assumed her wife would want to keep her safe the way she had following her amputation, with guardianship within the castle walls. Instead, Violet had enthusiastically endorsed the idea. Together they studied maps and dried jerky and formulated 'paste'. They interviewed Gerry about everything he knew about the Blue Ridge settlements along the way. They determined that by the best of their estimates, they could make the journey in just under three weeks. They could carry with them enough food to stay there for two weeks, then return in another three. Two months they would be gone, and would return just before the start of summer.

AJ was sad to hear he wouldn't be coming, but they explained that they were going to travel light, and use the horses to carry them to make the best time, that they couldn't carry him along with them without tiring the horses. He understood, and promised to behave himself while Clementine was away. Louis promised to keep a close eye on him, which Clementine was grateful for.

They packed up their saddlebags with ammunition, food, and skins, ready to trade with other communities down the line if they had to. Clementine slung her wooden crutches and her new prosthetic foot over Chopsie's back, and mounted. Violet was already astride, waiting for her. The entire community gathered to bid them farewell. They waved and laughed as they rode off down the road. As Castle Violet disappeared among the trees behind them, the two women felt the rush of excitement of a new and grand adventure rising up before them. At the end of their path the Grand Canyon waited for them. Violet sat up tall in her stirrups and began to sing a snatch of song she learned from Pete.

“But we have a glowing dream,  
of how fair the world will seem  
when every one can live their life secure and free  
when the Earth is owned by labor and there's joy and peace for all  
In the Commonwealth of Toil that is to be...” - The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. That's my story. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope the tag "major character death" wasn't deceptive. Omar wasn't a major character in the game, but he sort of straddled the line of being a major character in this story, and being from the game, I'm sure he's got his fans so I kinda tagged that warning in there to be safe. 
> 
> The title is "In the Commonwealth of Toil that is to be." I'm not sure if I should change the title, or if I should leave it with the "The Title is the Last Nine Words" and leave it to be discovered by people who click through? IDK, maybe I'll make a decision in the next few days.
> 
> I really enjoyed the final season of Clementine's story, and part of what inspired me about it was the willingness of the kids to criticize the world before rather than regretting its loss, and its centering its narrative on child survivors, Tenn's vision of the future, and his radical forgiveness, and in particular the story's tendency to leave its main characters disabled, really inspired me to view the apocalypse as a revolutionary space, and that was the seed that led to this fiction. I think it's pretty obvious that I think a world like the characters are building is possible, and without zombies, it'll only be better in the end. Thank you all.


End file.
